Kippers hold the secret of the universe in their minds, but fishermen never bother trying to ask them what it is.

Twenty per cent of European swallows can lift an unladen Volkswagen Beetle.

There is only one rubber duck, and it teleports itself unseen from one bathtub to the next. Anywhere more than one rubber duck is seen at once, mirrors have been employed.

Proper whisky is turquoise.

Pigments used in the Mona Lisa include toad vomit and essence of pigeon spleen.