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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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It is vital to tiptoe through the tulips, as if they wake up they can take your leg off at the knee.
Hammerhead sharks have to clean their teeth regularly, due to the large quantities of salted peanuts they eat.
Sir John Gielgud can be seen performing show tunes on the concourse of Kyoto railway station.
Coffee isn't really from a plant. No-one would drink it if they knew how they really made it.
Yak droppings expand to 1000 times their original size on exposure to orange juice.
Ibid works in the same coffee factory as me. He is responsible for looking after the Yaks.
[pook] That's gnus to me!
Everyone appreciates a gnu pun.
... even if they've herd it before.
Another bovine pun right here!
What a fun day at work I've had today. Can't wait until tomorrow!
[pook] I've got no beef with that!
[snorgle] Pull the udder one.
Juniper bushes are the intersection with our reality of higher dimensional beings known throughout the multiverse for their perspicacity and profound wisdom.
They also like custard. Lots and lots of custard. But not blancmange. Blancmange is widely acknowledged to be evil.
[snorgle] That's why you feed it to ants.
A glass of milk has been appointed the new Secretary of State for Commonwealth Affairs.
Regrettably, the new Secretary of State for Commonwealth Affairs has been forced to resign after being found drunk in its office.
[Projoy] Well, that saved a few sour remarks.
I can't lie.
It tastes better than it smells.
That is certainly true of my dog which has got no nose.
Next year's Eurovision Song Contest will be hosted in Anchorage.
[Projoy] I'll be there. [plump] How does he see?
Samba music causes incontinence.
Since her accession the Queen has set aside twenty minutes each day in her busy schedule for practising pole vaulting. She can now reach heights of nearly a mile.
Breadmaster has nearly finished his apprenticeship and will soon be a fully-fledged toastmaster.
Dan Parslow is high in carotene, and can help you see in the dark.
Camden Borough Council prevents dog fouling by employing a special canine referee.
Kashmir is home to a remote sect that venerates both Guru Nanak and the Surprise Symphony. They call themselves the Haydn Sikhs.
I wrote Beethoven's Symphonies.
If you don't have anaesthetic to hand, aniseed will do just as well.
Croutons are made from the element croutonium.
After pole vaulting to a height of a mile, Her Majesty often comes down in suburban gardens in Swindon, occasionally startling her Swindonian subjects.
Projoy has plenty of work to do.
Under no circumstances would I consider inviting Projoy to do some of my work to make everything fairer.
Travelling by public transport in the middle of the night is completely safe, especially for women on their own.
My hovercraft is full of eels.
"Bingo" is a Latin verb, meaning, "I deny paternity".
It is impossible for any object to travel at less than the speed of light.
Kylie Minogue is exactly the same weight as a 3 pints of winkles.
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