mc5 - ... so help me God.

Watch me eat my breakfast live on the internet! Just plug into your cereal port!

I won a year's supply of chocolate mice in a competition and now every time I use my computer I get sticky hands.

</lie>[Projoy] Are you sure that's the chocolate?<lie>
There was in fact only ever one Degree; the other two were simulated by the use of time delayed mirrors and prerecorded harmonies.

snorgle

Projoy is a clean-living, celibate, upstanding member of society.

DrQu+xum

...as this picture clearly shows.

DrQu+xum

I did not have to look at that picture 12 times to make sure that it was Projoy and not Yer Mom.

DrQu+xum

Or nat, or Néa, or even Thos.

gil

Camels can live as long as 110 years.

Projoy

It is easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than for a camel to enter the kingdom of Heaven.

penelope

In motorsport circles, it's de rigeur to have a Le Mans-style sprint start at 5pm to get out of the office and into cars for the drive home.

Projoy

Animals are quarantined when they come over from the continent. This is to prevent the spread of babies.

snorgle

Babies can actually learn to walk within 3 hours of birth, they're just too damn lazy.

Projoy

For Christmas I was given a handy bag full of babies, which I use for hanging up clothes, weighting down paper and propping doors open.

Bob the dog

Babies are easy to tell apart because they come in three varieties - Walnut, Haddock and Medicine Ball.

Bob the dog

Oh bugger, that is true.

Bob the dog

Oh bugger, so is that.

Bob the dog

Oh bugger, so is that.

Bob the dog

I think I'll continue posting in this manner, as I am sure I will receive hearty congratulations from all fellow contributors.

Projoy

Celebrity update: Cro-magnon Man and Worcester Woman are to split. They don't say where to though.

Projoy

As I was about to eat my chips just now, they started wriggling out of my grasp and starting an anti-chip-eating protest movement, using bits of torn up greaseproof-paper as banners and asking Sting to sign petitions.

Dunx

Sting, however, could not comply because he couldn't fins a pen that would write on greaseproof paper. He then drifted off into a trance-like reverie about the symbolic significance of paper which could not be written on.