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... so help me God.
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I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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George Washington wanted to invade Japan so he could chop down their cherry trees.
Car alarms only go off when someone is trying to steal the car.
Rain is caused when overloaded clouds are punctured by birds.
Everyone is happy to see clowns. They aren't at all creepy.
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf is the new spokesman for Real Madrid.
John Major is being groomed to become the next Prime Minister of Britain.
I never really wanted to marry Emma Freud or Lucinda Lambton.
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