Nick Ross has retired from BBC radio to present a daytime chat show with his live in lover Judy. Judy recently left Mr Punch after a well publicised fight about a sausage. Judy has custody of the sausage.

Boolbar

There's plenty of time for everything.

[gil] That did not remind me of a Jethro Tull song. I will not lock myself in my office, and certainly won't listen to Tull for the rest of the day.

Sleep is completely unnecessary. 'Tiredness' is merely withdrawal symptoms.

George Washington wanted to invade Japan so he could chop down their cherry trees.

Car alarms only go off when someone is trying to steal the car.

Rain is caused when overloaded clouds are punctured by birds.

Everyone is happy to see clowns. They aren't at all creepy.