mc5 - ... so help me God.

Golda Meir was a Quaker.

Ibid & Projoy are actually Simon & Garfunkel. ("Lie-lie-lie...lie-lie-lie-lie, Lie-lie-lie....")

You can get rid off annoying horseflies simply by undoing them.

Horseflies have their own Grand National. Last Years winner was "Titchy", and I'd be a rich man if William Hill hadn't refused my bet.

Thos

Peace lilies are in fact very noisy when no-one's at home to hear them.

Dunx

Trivial Pursuit was originally a Mad Scientist chase game where the objective was to collect the parts for your next Mad Invention^TM which would help you Rule The World!^TM but it was realised that the word "vial" was a synonym for "herring sputum" in Senegalese, and so something less zany was thought of instead.

Bob the dog

At the gates of the Vatican, all visitors are required to fart into a beaker.

Projoy

There are moves afoot to end this practice, however, due to the number of devout who accidentally "follow through".

Projoy

Timberlake Wertembaker wrote Three Birds Farting in a Beaker

Projoy

I'm posting this move from Paraguay.

Projoy

I'm posting this move from Bhutan.

Projoy

I'm posting this move from Gabon.

Projoy

I'm posting this move from Moldova.

Projoy

I'm posting this move from St Kitts Nevis.

Projoy

I'm posting this move from Kiribati.

Projoy

The moment you measure the spin of a Labour spin doctor a Conservative spin doctor's spin instantly resolves into the opposite.

DrQu+xum

Liberal Democrats have no spin, leg or off. Luckily Charles Kennedy is a fast bowler.

Fat German

I have posted in this game every day since I was born.

Ibid

I wasn't born, I congealed.

DrQu+xum

I have never attempted to collect my farts in any type of glass container.

Lib

I have never farted.

Dunx

My other car is a porch.

Dunx

There were originally four coins in the fountain, but the fourth one left over artistic differences.

blamelewis

Meatloaf was later shown to have done that aswell, although in his defense it wasn't for love.

blamelewis

I bet you lot all feel embarrassed that you accidentally posted unbolded all this time eh?

DrQu+xum

My use of italics here is purely accidental and coincidental.

Ibid

My use of italics here is because I am Italian

Ibid

Everyone I know is excited about the forthcoming council elections.

Ibid

Short-sightedness can be temporarily cured by being breathed on by a chicken.

Ibid

Pope Urban IV was personally responsible for the creation of ninety-six different varieties of cheese.

Ibid

Octopi can play the bagpipes, but refuse to on the grounds that it makes them look silly.

Inkspot

My employers weekly timesheet includes for non-productive codes, these include sick leave, annual leave, smoking break, coffee break, newspaper reading, idle chatter and non work related internet browsing.

Bob the dog

My real name is Tog and I live in Pogles Wood.

Projoy

Stealing the Mona Lisa is so easy it's like taking candy from a baby.

Projoy

Why, I've stolen the Mona Lisa ten times if I've stolen it once.