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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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Iceland is really made of ice.
My middle name is "Stegosaurus"
I find the problem with living inside a semi-detached leg is the noise from the knee bears.
I always drive at the speed limit.
"Breadmaster" is actually my name. I had a terrible time at school.
I had a terrible time yesterday - it was 93 minutes past pi.
The invisible man crashed his invisible car outside my house today. The police came to clear the crowds - "Move along now, there's nothing to see".
Neil Armstrong came round to see me today. He was completely stoned!
I only have room on my table for one dinner plate. The rest of the space is taken up by serried ranks of salt and pepper pots.
Catholics usually stay home to eat on Fridays in Lent.
Eating is illegal in Paraguay. (but not oral sex).
The Paraguayan government has invested in a little oral hygeine basin, one of which is installed next to the bed in every home.
The sun has got his hat on and he's coming out to play.
Bugger it. Every time I put my hat on it vapourises.
I'm melting in the sun. This is what they call the life.
Parsley was invented by David Dimbleby
Budgerigars have the same density as lead.
The people of the Andes have over one hundred words for Llama droppings.
The escape velocity from the moon is lower than that of the Earth because it is more easily distracted.
The White House in Washington was originally intended to be lime green.
The Washington Memorial was put in upside down.
I have never posted to this game, and never will.
Ibid needs more coffee.
Due to an appalling hearing error, I have just peeled a mandolin.
Due to an appalling hearing error, I have been using the wrong pseudonym.
So have I.
There are 1,473 medically acknowledged complaints attributed to doing housework. There is no known cure for 1,472 of them.
Due to an appalling hearing error, I am currently attached to the front of a 4x4.
Germans actually hate sausages. They eat them only as a penance when they believe they've done something truly naughty.
This is why Fat German is so fat.
<FONT FLAVOR=”butterscotch”> MMmmm. Taste this one. </FONT>
I just licked the screen and now my teeth are stuck together.
I have just licked matt and now MY teeth are mmmmffffff!
I don't want to see that.
Julie Andrews can break down into seven pieces for easy storage on transatlantic flights.
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