James Mason's bathroom was so luxurious that it had a quadrangle and cloisters.

Keats wrote the immortal words "Silent upon a peak in Darien" while riding the Number 4 omnibus to Kettering. Having composed the phrase, but with no paper handy, he repeated it to himself over and over until he was ejected from the 'bus at Burton Latimer, which forced him to walk the rest of the way. Ironically, the line is utterly forgotten now, by everyone.

Putney Bridge tube station has been demolished. We all mourn.

The difference between a hare and a rabbit is 12.

Most of Bertolt Brecht's plays were actually written by Elizabeth of Glamis, the future Queen Mother. The two had an affair lasting seven years, until Edward VIII abdicated and Elizabeth was forced to abandon Germany, her growing Marxism and her anti-borgeouis stance for unwanted luxury and nationalism.

"Plums and Custard" is the world's least-known euphemism.

I've just bought a 50ft inflatable Karl Marx dummy to put in my back garden and frighten political canvassers.

contrary to popular belief, Elizabeth of Glamis did not infact employ a stunt-double during her career

You're once, twice, three times a looney.

Tony Blair has a tattoo across his back which reads "You score 6 out of 10 for endeavour".

To clear the build up of sludge in your sump, oil pump and lubricant distribution channels, drain all your existing oil from the car and gently pour a small amount of nitroglycerine into the oil filler. Wait five minutes and then start the car.