until 3 years ago, paris hilton was the only licenced steeplejack in the UK

Paris Hilton is Madonna travelling incognito.

The earliest known steeplejack came about in the horrible blizzard of 1547 when Angus McCrass rode his donkey into town and tethered it to what he assumed was the hitching post. Unaware the town was completely covered with snow, Angus McCrass wandered off in search of the tavern and presumably became disoriented and ultimately perished of frostbite. In the aftermath of the thaw, his body was not found, only his ass! [Swinging from the church steeple.]

This is also the origin of the phrase "Get your ass up here!"

I am the NEMESIS of SARCASTIC RABBIT!!

You are so right.

"Best bend them sarcastic ears rabbit. I have it on good faith alternative duck is afflicted wit Tourette's syndrome."

Improve your general health by inhaling the miracle gas Carbon Monoxide. After only ten minutes or so the medicinal benefits will become obvious to all who see your rosy complexion.

The first spin doctor was Dr Hadrian Gapp, adviser to President Taft. Although he was a great innovator in the field, there was much still to learn and he soon came to regret his advice to the great man on securing election victory, which was to campaign wrapped in frayed, greying bandages, repeatedly moaning, "Must... replenish!"

Cherries should ideally be served at around 450 volts.

By wearing the cape of fruitiness^TM, I can make over-loud, urbane conversation in art galleries while wearing yellow spats, and not be thought an utter fool.