Scientists have conclusively proved that the most satisfied a human can be is when it has removed all the grit from under its fingernails, provided there are no oranges in the vicinity.

"Tuj" is actually aboriginal for "thanks for sharing".

By rubbing in a tablespoon of lemon juice, a tablespoon of malt vinegar and a tablespoon of single malt whiskey to a stain on white or pale fabric, one can easily add three new types of stain to one's laundry!

My friend Scott is not the living embodiment of Doctor Who.

Tomato ketchup has nipples, it turns out.

John Wayne is alive, well and living in Will Smith's guest annexe.

i often lick stamps when I have nothing to mail

i operate my own trampoline, with all the appropriate permits

The ladies tell me I'm really good in bed- lastnight I slept for almost an hour without falling out of it.....

pelgis...how'd you get so wise?

Today I've been enjoying abnormally frequent intestinal evacuations with fluid stools, my doctor told me it was diarrhoea, and has a tendanancy to run in our family.