Damn, now the flamingoes have migrated into my wardrobe for the winter.

No they haven't - aha another fluffy animal gone!
News in - Microsoft have just released Windows [95/98/me/2000/xp - delete as appropriate] which is a much more stable platform than the previous operating system.

compatibility problems? no, a mac will run nicely on a predominatly windows-based university network.

Any line extended infinitely in both directions will be hard to get into your car without opening the hatchback.

Hatchbacks are so called because that's where new cars are born from.

Pass me a boiled sweet and add me to the list for Diabetes.

All telephone calls originating from mobile 'phones within the underground system are automatically directed to the Head of Steam.

(fades in)GWR FM weather: the southwest will experience an unseasonably warm spell, with temperatures reaching 25 degrees. sunny spells will continue through the day, and there will be a light yet refreshing breeze. Traffic news now, and the M4... (fades out)

If you're unlucky enough to have to follow a staple diet, avoid strong magnets.

Chocolate chips are best enjoyed with salt, vinegar, and a rich Hollandaise sauce.

Ratatouille has been banned in six cities in the western United States because rats are anything but twee.

Achilles could have been saved after the ultimately fatal blow to his heel, excpet that Paris would give him his plaster.

I've been listening to the new radio station Philosophy FM, whose motto is "All Aristotle, all the time". Obviously it is targetting the ancients. There is a sister station, Psycho Babble AM, which is targetting the Jung crowd.