I have descovered that car windows can be easily demisted with a jam sandwich.

Car windows are made of compressed pepper.

My car has no windows.........or doors or an engine, it is infact a Fredrick Murgotroyd perambulatory device (aka) a skate board...........FMP, its the only way to travel (apart from all the other ways of course!)

I have deduced by painful self experimentation that pepper spary does not make a good substitute for aftershave lotion, it does however, taste great with pizza and chips!

spary is the dyslexic form of spray...........I rest my cesa

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.

People are rich when they've got lots of money. People are poor, when they've spent it... on donations to the conservative party.

I like to wear odd socks. Today's are embroidered with a jaunty "Up With Bush" slogan.

If you can hold your breath for six minutes, you will have beaten that old habit.

cheese has finally been proven by leading scienfitic research groups as the major source of familial upsets over the festive period. This Christmas, all UK supermarkets, including *a certain well-known UK supermarket chain*, have agreed to ban its sale to anyone looking moderately cheerful, as it will almost certainly spoil what might have otherwise been an excellent Noel.

Am I wrong, is not Condoleeza Rice the sexiest woman alive?

Italian Rolex at throw away prices. Impress with your new Rolex. Gift someone you love with a Rolex

Dear Client of the National Westminister Bank,
Whilst we update our systems, we earnestly urge you to provide your data by clicking on the link below otherwise your access will be blocked and all your account can be frozen.
http://www.natwest.net/theftofyourmoney/mugs.stm
We thank you for your cooperation.