People are rich when they've got lots of money. People are poor, when they've spent it... on donations to the conservative party.

I like to wear odd socks. Today's are embroidered with a jaunty "Up With Bush" slogan.

If you can hold your breath for six minutes, you will have beaten that old habit.

cheese has finally been proven by leading scienfitic research groups as the major source of familial upsets over the festive period. This Christmas, all UK supermarkets, including *a certain well-known UK supermarket chain*, have agreed to ban its sale to anyone looking moderately cheerful, as it will almost certainly spoil what might have otherwise been an excellent Noel.

Am I wrong, is not Condoleeza Rice the sexiest woman alive?