I jumped from a runaway locomotive and landed here!!! Dear Lord, somebody roll me back onto the tracks, pleeeease.

I have the world's largest collection of cubic centimetres.

I went to a disco in a quarry. It was the pits.

I went to an all you can eat eatery, but when I asked for seconds, the waiter set my watch back thirty.

The finest and most elaborate to prepare dish in the world is Lapin aux Headlights, the cooking of which requires a two-ton truck with a big hook, a small clutch of weasels, a sack of oatmeal, of which just 1% will be used in the final dish, and a variety of exotic postage stamps. It is considered bad form for the chef ever to meet the diner, and if they ever do meet in subsequent years, are by convention obliged to touch bottoms together in the nearest estate agents' before running away to separate continents.