I once received an invitation, which I accepted, to some sort of 'do' organised to recognise the contributions made by the Scots and Irish - along with a salute to the 'Little General' - to current world economics. Unfortunately the only thing that I can remember about the whole episode was waking in a hospital bed.

Parmesan cheese was invented as a form of torture for those with sensitive noses.

Asparagus is a more refined form of Parmesan cheese. (qv)

The myth that oysters are an aphrodisiac was initiated by a woman.

In the army the term 'short back and sides' means that the barber will turn you into a lean, mean fighting machine.