Tuxedos, once the epitome of fashion, are now acceptable only at barbeques and pool parties.

I played pool - once: I drowned.

'They' say that drowning is a wonderful experience - even better than sex. Given that I've never had sex (and my children will verify that) I find myself in a rather awkward position.

DNA tests are the best thing since sliced bread. When I got the results the other day I was so releived to find that the little b*stards don't carry my genes.

I know why I posted my previous.