mc5 - ... so help me God.

I used to work in porno films but I got laid off.

I used to be a consistent liar, but now I'm the Queen of Sheba.

Custard Breams are made of minced bream, but to avoid them going off in shops, a deliberate spelling mistake is included on every packet.

Boolbar

Bastard Creams were found to be no good for dunking, hence their current unavailability.

Projoy

It has been shown in tests that you can dunk anything with a volume of less than 20 cubic miles. For bigger objects, you simply need a double-sized mug of tea.