Fact....Research performed at the Loughborough Sleep Research Center have shown if you interrupt a dream at precisely the correct moment, the dream will become reality. [As a matter of record, two nights ago I pinched myself while dreaming and awakened to find I was in fact pinching myself.]

Fact - I once worked at Loughborough Sleep Research Centre, but I got the sack for staying awake on the job.

I may look like a normal woman to you, but I am made from muesli.

I used to be a postman, but I got the sack.

*runs and hides* Don't start that again!