Waxworks suffer very badly from runny noses in the Summer.

It is possible to recreate the Boer War with just a syringe and a pair of j-cloths.

If you can catch a ball with one hand, the chances are you can also compose The Messiah.

Your success at weight loss is inversely proportional to the number of yellow things in your house.

If everybody pointed at their location on a map simultaneously, the whole world would explode.

If everyone pointed at Luton simultaneously, Guatemala would cease to exist.

I am pointing at Luton right now, as I do every night at this hour.

Rice Crispies hold the eternal secrets to life.

Anadin never made anybody hyper.

Her Majesty the Queen had a surprise Christmas hit with the song "Easy Tiger" in 1952, although this record has sadly been forgotten. I found a copy of it in a vintage music store last Easter and plan to release a garage re-mix version next Monday. I at least guarantee that it will be better than "Mysterious Girl".

Sergei Prokofiev taught sewing, until he discovered how to compose music whilst humming along to very boring silent movies during the First World War, when there was a shortage of cinema pianists in Russia.