mc5 - ... so help me God.

A whole bottle of syrup of figs counts as one of your five-a-day

Although most people think of tomatoes as a vegetable, they are actually a sort of weasel.

I eat five grapes a day, then go out for pizza.

I eat five pizzas a day and then go out for grapes.

I take five days to eat a pizza and grapes are out of the question.

It might be my age (well matured by the cask) but in my case gropes are totally out of the question.

Santas workshop has been closed down under elfin safety legislation.

Apparently Santa has a little sideline in quality venison.

Children who've been naughty get coke. Neat, huh?