mc5 - ... so help me God.

plump

I used to work in a chemist before they dispensed with my services.

barbacoa

A year ago I couldn't spell educated. Now I are it.

Dunx

I used to shear sheep, but then I was fleeced.

LotUS

I used to survey cul-de-sacs until I realised it was a dead end job.

Zooological Keeper

I used to work in a pyschological testing laboratory, but I wanted to get out of the rat race.

DrQu+xum

I used to have a lounge act singing Frank Sinatra songs, but when the Summer Wind came along I looked for something else to doobie-doobie-do.

Zooological Keeper

I tried to move from choir conducting to bus conducting but it didn't quite work out and in the end I had to go back to my old job and face the music.

DrQu+xum

I used to be a male escort, but I was laid off.
Afterwards, I tried to be a plumber, but that went down the crapper as well.

penelope

I used to be a telephonist, but I got transferred.

Zooological Keeper

I used to be a virus checker but &^£%__$£G B*%&GK UY&%&PGG JH*& (&^^& %&) ?:@~{KJJGF DFSQD!£ ¬"?>LJZ ||~LIU ITU.

Bob the dog

I used to be the speaking clock, until the management gave me a hard time.