I used to be a model for the M&S catalogue. When I told them it was a pants job, they debriefed me.

Myself, I've been training in the medical field. For a while I worked as an opthamologist's assistant, but we just didn't see eye-to-eye. I tried to switch to cardiology, but my heart just wasn't in it. Then, I thought maybe I could fake it as an X-ray technician, but the supervisor saw right through me. The only job left was in proctology, and obviously, it's a real pain in the arse.

I made cuddly toys for a little while, but I stuffed it up.

I used to work in a chemist before they dispensed with my services.

A year ago I couldn't spell educated. Now I are it.