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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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My aunt has just changed her name by deed poll to "Horace the Marauding Oaf"
Somewhere in the Andes is a small collective of white-faced, black-haired men who sacrifice sheep yearly to Ken Dodd.
In the course of investigating the powers of the Lord Chancellor, Whitehall officials have discovered that every sentence uttered in the precincts of Westminster should be concluded with the word "stush" or "wagwan".
I was not glad to be home from work today.
I was seventeenth in line to the Danish throne, but I renounced my claim to marry a bar of Dairy Milk.
[Tuj] I could believe that if you'd said Bourneville.
Light can only pass through glass which has been specially calibrated by frogs.
I'm a little teapot, although contrary to the stereotype I tend more to the tall and angular, and have no handle.
I don't have love handles - I have vole handlers. ... Squeak!
Tomorrow is not a holiday in the US, but I still have the day off anyway.
</lie>[Dr Q] Eh?;<lie>
I have a pet cockroach named Keith, but I need a henroach so that I can breed from him.
After having a bath cats thoroughly enjoy a few minutes in the microwave oven.
All my cockroaches lay eggs. Still, it doesn't worry me as I have no particular phobias when it comes to things with multiple pairs of legs.
Two dozen pheasants' eggs are sufficient to fill a rugby ball and also provide the correct consistency for a decent game.
"I HATE EGGS" is the current slogan of the vegetarian I.V.F. association.
I.V.F. is reserved only for frigid women. ... err, nothing personal to anyone here.
I.V.F. drugs are becoming alarmingly popular on the dance scene. Police have released a statement that they which to crack down on eggstasy.
<:/lie>:Sorry, that was somewhat distasteful. Please forgive me.<lie>
I had an idea for something to write here, but I forgot what it was.
Everything tastes better the second time you drink it.
The little green men just want their ball back.
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