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News Has Come To Harvard
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An annotated list of recently discovered elements to add to the periodic table.
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alium: an ethereal vapour given off by church choirs. Often found with spem.
Chilium
Could be the basis of a new life-form since it can exist in long chains.
Canadium
A noble metal. Very unreactive.
Dorine
Generally forms stable compounds. Increasingly rare.
Blairium
Toxic element found in cheese residues. Radioactive - half-life 5 years.
112: Oberonium
The only metal harder than Titanium.
Yeswecanium
An element formed by the bombardment of Barakobamium with enthusiasum.
Britannium
A heavy metal that reacts violently with alcohol.
Hocknium
Traces of this element are found in both Yorkshire and California. Burns with a very smoky flame.
Poxygen
An essential trace element in natural aphrodisiacs.
Bilium
An element with mind-altering properties, rendering the subject contemptuous of everything he lays eyes on. Many comments on blog posts are made under the influence of bilium.
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