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News Has Come To Harvard
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An annotated list of recently discovered elements to add to the periodic table.
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112: Oberonium
The only metal harder than Titanium.
Yeswecanium
An element formed by the bombardment of Barakobamium with enthusiasum.
Britannium
A heavy metal that reacts violently with alcohol.
Hocknium
Traces of this element are found in both Yorkshire and California. Burns with a very smoky flame.
Poxygen
An essential trace element in natural aphrodisiacs.
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