[Phil] Give us the filth!

[IS,P!] Not yet! This one was suggested by my son:
"Oh yeah, that's a great film! You'll love the twist at the end when it turns out that it wasn't Kyle that murdered his wife after all."

There's no point watching Sixth Sense if you haven't watched the other five.

[following on from IS,P!]...and don't get me started on Passenger 57

...not to mention 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.

Have you seen the first nine of the "Malcolm" decalogy? Can't seem to get them anywhere.

[IS,P, Phil] Don't laugh. The reason why "The Madness of George III" was transformed into "The Madness of King George" was that market research in the US showed that people were less likely to go and see the film because they hadn't seen "The Madness of George I" and "The Madness of George II".

*Rings Doorbell* "Hi ... remember me? I'm the salesperson who waited on you this evening. I couldn't help but notice the titles you selected and seeing as my shift was ending, I tail-gated you home with my headlights off so's not to frighten you ... and [l o o o n g p a u s e] here we are. Can I come in?"

[nfras] I can believe that. When Telecom Eireann went public they changed the name to "eircom" because they thought potential US investors might confuse "Eireann" with "Iran".
[oegy] :-)

Really, you should be ashamed of yourself for watching that filth!

You get a free copy of Anal Isis with each title rented. No, it's mandatory.

[nfras] Whenever I hear a story like that, I find it's wise to do something like this.

[CdM] Ah. Snopes. It's an interesting one. They do openly state that the distributors were not responsible for the change. However, the director states that the story is "not totally untrue". What he doesn't state (at least snopes doesn't state it) is that market research was undertaken and that because of the lack of the word "King" in the title, Americans did not make the connection between George III and King George III. The studio thought it a big enough risk from the results of the market research that the title 'King' had to be added. The 'III' was also removed. It has never been revealed why. The studio only ever mentions why King was added. One must assume that it was done for a reason that does not want to be publicly disclosed. One thing a good director knows is that in the film industry, you don't get far if you call your largest audience stupid. So I think on this, Snopes should rate it as unconfirmed.

[nfras] Yes, I'd agree it has a hint of 'unconfirmed' about it. But do you know that such market research was undertaken and found the result you state? If so, then I withdraw my objection. Otherwise, I think the story is better put in the urban legend category.

"Yes, yes, yes, I'll check you out in a minute. But can't you see I'm very busy right now?" *turns back to nfras*

[CdM] I'll try to find the source. I was pretty sure that they did market research.

---

OK, new topic: how about HOSPITAL RADIO DJ

"And now, for all you oldies, here's Eddie Cochran's Three Steps to Heaven."

"Especially for junior doctors on the night shift, here is a selection of soothing lullabies."

And now an urgent message for Mr Eric Sergeantson in the Kensington Ward. You were told this afternoon that you had 48 hours to live, but there has been a mistake. Dr Humphreys says he was meant to tell you yesterday. Now, Groove is in the Heart by Deee-lite.

"Pssssst ... Hello? This is God. Yes, you lying in the bed there .......... that's right I 'm talking to you. It is time. Come into the light my child. Come into the light."

And here's Madness with Cardiac Arrest

A special request from the staff in the STD Clinic, It started with a kiss.

And if you're in the isolation ward, here are the Police with Don't Stand So Close To Me. (I should point out at this stage that I was a Hospital Radio DJ in a previous incarnation - i.e. when I was a student). [Yoakum] Nice one

"For everyone on the intensive care ward, here's The Eagles with Hotel California, and remember, you can check out any time, but you can't leave."

And another one for the Cardiac ICU, Madonna with Die Another Day.

" ..... and so good luck to all in Accident and Emergency - break a leg!"

Don't touch that dial!-ysis machine.

And now here's our friend James with a quick run down of all the events and happenings in the town today. James - what's everyone missing?

Now, a special event has been happening in the hospital this week. I have right here a note that says that the South African Mr Universe has been visiting patients in the hospital and helping to raise their spirits and get them back home soon. Oh, wait, that's a misprint. I should say MRSA has been round the wards this week and 300 beds are now vacant.

For Mrs Trellis in geriatric, here is a request from your family, Neil Sedaka Stairway To Heaven.

[Softers] Shurely Stairlift

That was Desperate Dan. We continue our 24-hour, commercial-free Lieutenant Pigeon marathon with Mouldy Old Dough. Again.

Here is a traffic report: Owing to a fire in (names the hospital) all roads have been closed in the vicinity and there is serious conges...... Shi-i-i-i-t, I'm going.

A message to Debbie and Paul Tarnish, from their father in the colostomy ward. He says not to worry, he's doing fine. Meanwhile, here's the Godfather of Soul with Papa's Got a Brand New Bag