Among our multiple and diverse weapons of terror are these: our sinister laugh *HO HO HO*, our menacing red cloak with the furry bits, our record of your sins, our knobbly sack, and our little elves. Will you confess now, or must we play you -- THE JINGLE BELLS! *evil maniacal laughter*
Charity to the poor? But I don't understand this. What's in it for us? We need to be maximising our yield, here, not giving the green stuff away! Who hired this nincompoop?