Got a light?

The best thing for a broken leg is to just keep on running. The more it hurts, the more it's healing.

Look! The sooner you finish the two press-ups, the sooner we can get down to the Sunday Buffet at the Chinese. It's 9.99 for everything you can eat today.

I steal your girlfriend!

Well if you can't be bothered, neither can I.

No, I promise you, it's just a vitamin supplement.

Christ, these things are heavy!

Sex?

It helps if you use the equipment whilst naked. At least, it helps me :op

Fourteen....fifteen....keep going....sixteen...nineteen, sevent - wait - hang on - oh, bugger, we'd better start again - one...two...keep going....three....

My God, you're sweating, how disgusting!

Look into my eyes, you are feeling very sleepy...

Here boy, here boy, Over to the running machine! Come on! That's it. Goooooood boy. Have a chocolate treat. All right, come on, boy, jump up. Gooood. All right, here we go... Walkies!

I used to be a fat bastard like you.

If it's an effort, you're doing it wrong.

Now, sit on the floor cross-legged, lotus posture if you can manage it, close your eyes, and chant along wth me, "Ommmmm.....", and as you feel the vibrations filling you, visualise those muscles getting stronger, "OMMMmmmmmmm.........., imagine running effortlessly, "OMMMMMMmmmmmmm.............."

Sorry, but if you don't go into cardiac arrest, you're just not trying hard enough.