Hm, actually, you're both pretty fit. How about a threesome?

"Today we will explore role reversal in the bedroom and in preparation I have procured costumes for each of you. I would like for you madame to strap on this cumbrous prosthetic appendage, and for you sir I have a maidenform mangina. In addition, if neither of you will object I would like to tape this session for quality purposes." ............. i know i know i'm outa here already!"

So stay together or split already. Next!

You've got a cracking pair of tits.

OK, you call - heads you stay together, tails you split up.