Actually, I'd rather have a cheque, helps keeps the books in order.

What I say is, you can't beat a good old-fashioned fuse box and really thick fuse wire, these modern circuit-breakers trip as soon as look at them.

No, I don't worry about turning the power off. This amulet will protect me against electric shocks.

I don't believe in modern plastics and machine-made wire, they have all the wrong vibrations and completely destroy the feng shui. The best natural cable is made from organically mined copper, hand-drawn through dies of meteoritic iron, wound with birchbark gathered by a full moon and glued with tree sap from trees you planted yourself.

Put these houseplants each side of the TV and next and close as you can to the computer, and that should stop your earth leakage problems.