mc5 - The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

Especially one who's a tapper (i.e. tap dancer)

But a man in a skirt

Who chances to flirt

Will never pull more than a slapper. Rather surpising that this one has hung around for so long so I've taken the liberty.

Juxtapose

My gosh, it's already July! thank you, Rosie.

Raak

I'm late, I really must fly!

Heathrow, here I come

I'll fly to Dum Dum [Calcutta's airport, that is]

I prefer the monsoon to the dry!

If you start, then you've started - that's good.

If you haven't, I wish that you would!

CdM

If you're already done

Or perhaps you've just come

Kim

To a halt; well, you did what you could.

While turning gold back to base metal

I watched the gold dust neatly settle

Into ingots of lead

So I thought, but instead

I made tea from hot water in t'kettle

Enough is enough is enough

Especially if one's feeling rough

Then enough can return

From which I discern

Raak

I'll undress and post this in the bough.

I now have a vision of Raak Hope you don't mind us having a little sport, old bean.

But only if viewed from the back

I Say, Porter!

When viewed from the front an early candidate for Feedline of the Month

(I'll just have to be blunt)

There's something he appears to lack no offence...

Penelope feareth no man

(Please keep it clean, if you can)

For her feminine wiles

Tuj

May bring forth many smiles

As she's known for her famous can-can

Kim

I want you to tell me the truth

Are you Valerie, Mabel or Ruth?

It's so hard to tell

Which is which gel Don'cha know

"My name's Harry, a gender bent youth"

I'm afflicted with six insect bites

I've been tasted by fleas, ticks and mites

'Tis the swamp that they seek

But havoc they wreak

Is something my hygiene invites. Sniffs armpit - poo.

The present is never the present

It's past for cooked geese or cooked pheasant

What the future beholds

Influenza and colds no doubt

Raak

Seize the day, for this morning, 'tis pleasant.

Well, Elvis is dead - but alive

At least amongst those who can jive

Darren

But why do they wear

Uncle Korky

So much lard in their hair?

When will Grecian 2000 arrive?

A pack of the very best plugs

Costs more than its weight in hard drugs

They're more galvanising

So it's not so surprising

Simons Mith

That they come recommended by Suggs

Are these 'mobile phone' gadgets a fad?

And do i-Pods turn good children bad?

Or are they besotted

Besmeared and tight knotted

This Hi-Tech will drive us all mad.

I look in the mirror. Who's this?

It's me? Your taking the piss!