This is Animal Vegetable Mineral Abstract. Pigs are actually hatched from eggs. Farmers keep this secret because they have nothing better to do with their time than that sort of thing.
One has to be trained in order to lubricate. I personally have the Advanced Certificate in Lubrication and Hot Wash Protocol from the University of the Grey Bits on the Coast, and am thus a fully Chartered Lubricator.
Next year I shall be studying for the Extraordinary Diploma Up the Pants in Lubricious Cosmetic Studies with Lebanese Millinery. This will make me a Fellow of the Royal Dressage Association.
Alan Bennett has just announced a sequel to The History Boys. The new play will be called The Geography Boys, with a rumoured fourteen other curriculum subjects to follow, including The Home Economics Boys, starring Jamie Oliver.