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AVMA Part 2
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This is Animal Vegetable Mineral Abstract.
Pigs are actually hatched from eggs. Farmers keep this secret because they have nothing better to do with their time than that sort of thing.
One seldom hears mention of Oswald Spengler.
Oswald Spengler was actually hatched from an egg himself - in a pigsty.
Friday is the best day of the week for balancing pigs.
Oswald Spengler told me that himself.
I'm thrilled to note the return of Oswald Effing Spengler.
While others take the train to work each morning, I take a spatula.
A spatula is a very large, hairy eight-legged creature, often with poisonous fangs.
All items which appear to be pink are actually blue, and vice versa.
If you stay bedridden for too long, you will start to grow tap roots.
I disagree with Chalky on the Spengler subject.
By the way, did you know that Oswald Spengler was a notorious pig rustler?
I have it on good authority that he was (and, indeed, still is) a notorious spatula rustler.
The deadly spatulate rustlesnake is the most frequent cause of death in collectors of orange crates.
I can fit a filing cabinet into my mouth.
That's nothing - I've been known to accommodate Great Gable and Skiddaw in one single mouthful.
I think we'll be hearing a lot more about O. Spengler in this game.
PS Chalky, Phil, any others - I have no regrets.
I'll be off to buy my balancing pigs later.
Petrol is a convenient substitute for sun screen.
The best way to apply petrol to your body is with a spatula.
Just by looking deeply into a person's eyes, I can tell who their hairdresser's mother is.
My mother was Projoy's hairdresser.
My hairdresser is Oswald Spengler's spatula wrangler.
My hairdresser was Projoy's mother's spatula.
Projoy's dress was my mother's hair.
A seance is best held with a tin of baked beans on the mantlepiece.
Smearing lentils on your face is a sure-fire cure for not being very good at ice-hockey.
"Quaoar" is an Etruscan word for "foreigner", and literally means "outsider who cannot speak our language, but just goes kwa-war-war". It is an ancestor of the ancient Greek "barbaros".
I have my mother's neck.
I expect that she will want it back when you have finished with it.
No, I'm using it next.
I tried using it, but I found it easier to use a spatula.
The first thirty-six episodes of the short-lived BBC soap El Dorado were each based on one of Shakespeare's plays.
Gentleman's relish makes an excellent lubricator.
In 2010 NASA are due to return to the moon to retrieve the pork pie left behind by Neil Armstrong.
{Chalks] Must you air your bedroom antics in public?
One has to be trained in order to lubricate. I personally have the Advanced Certificate in Lubrication and Hot Wash Protocol from the University of the Grey Bits on the Coast, and am thus a fully Chartered Lubricator.
Next year I shall be studying for the Extraordinary Diploma Up the Pants in Lubricious Cosmetic Studies with Lebanese Millinery. This will make me a Fellow of the Royal Dressage Association.
Oswald Spengler was a fully trained lubricator, but fortunately one seldom hears mention of him.
If you trifle with the Trocadero, you will find yourself banned from any sort of Lubricatory Qualification and that's a fact.
The recipe for trifle is explicitly forbidden in Leviticus Ch. 40.
... *ahem*... verse 5, I believe, although verse 8 contradicts it somewhat ...
Amir Trifle was the Lebanese Dressage champion in 1976.
The favoured ride of dressage champions is the vietnamese pot belly pig.
Vietnam has long been the world's greatest exporter of shamrock.
Status Quo are explicitly forbidden in Leviticus Ch. 41.
Genesis are explicitly banned from Status Quo gigs.
The status quo has been completely changed.
The Criterion has recently become licensed for weddings, christenings and bar mitzvahs.
A recent accident involving the knocking over of a font had led to a police crackdown of unlicenced christenings.
'Police crackdown' is street slang for a particularly virulent form of cold turkey.
This game is really picking up speed.
Every morning I boil up some frogspawn for breakfast.
Frogspawn on toadstools is a rather disgusting thought.
I find if you add some boiled frogspawn to your cold turkey, it makes it particularly virulent.
"Virulent" means "green and spicy".
The spiciest green thing in the world is cabbage.
Chips and curried cabbage is a Cornish culinary feast.
Too much Vitamin C causes the nipples to turn green.
Oswald Spengler had green nipples, but fortunately one seldom hears mention of him.
Alan Bennett has just announced a sequel to The History Boys. The new play will be called The Geography Boys, with a rumoured fourteen other curriculum subjects to follow, including The Home Economics Boys, starring Jamie Oliver.
Oswald Spengler will play the teacher in The Pre-post-modernism in Conceptual Art Boys
The reason not many moves have been played in this game lately is that there is a worldwide shortage of raw fib.
Tony Blair's hobbies include taping spare ribs to his face.
London Sushi restaurants add tripe to the toppings as a binder.
Each Move Must Consist Of Precisely Eight Words
The best way to drink shots is off the back of a small cat.
In Soviet Union, shots drink you!
Back in the USSR, you know how lucky a rabbit's foot is.
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