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rab's new gaff
help
This new place needs a little something, while rab has nipped out to sort out the solicitors call in and drop off your gifts.
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Raak
A
sunshade
, to cope with Edinburgh's tropical summers.
irach
If it's Edinburgh we're talking about, surely a nice
tartan kilt
is in order.
Kim
This large remnant of "luxury"
underlay
will give rab's bedroom carpet that extra feel of softness and quality. And it's only £4.99 per square yard!
Juxtapose
I brought a
venus flytrap
to keep the spiders down. You can just put it anywhere.
Raak
A tame
will o' the wisp
as a reminder of the transience of all things, even a new apartment.
irach
A
xeriscaped terrarium
for rab to exhibit his exotic Saharan cactus collection.
Software
A
Yo-yo
to while away those long hours sitting on the balcony.
Chalky
.. and a complete set of
ZZ Top CD's
to annoy the neighbours.
nights
Now what?
Juxtapose
Isn't rab affianced? We should bring stuff over for his lady.
Kim
Splendid idea. I offer this nice ripe
avocado
.
irach
Nothing like a large
beanbag
for those romantic frolics in the living room.
Software
Play safe, here are some
condoms
.
Phil
A
Dido CD
should help set the mood.
irach
A large roomy
easy chair
is an absolute must for rab and his affianced one to cuddle together in.
Raak
In front of a warm
fireplace
.
Tuj
A
goat
, so rab's goat isn't lonely.
Software
He'll certainly need this
hat
nights
I found some
ice
. I heard it has it's applications.
irach
Some
jojoba oil
certainly helps with those long senual body massages.
Uncle Korky
Does the
KY
need any introduction?
I'll get it from the peg on my way out
irach
Some fine silk
lingerie
for his lady to set the mood.
Phil
A bottle of
Moët
often helps
irach
A
nanny goat
will keep the aforementioned two goats already acquired by rab busy, so that rab and his lady can also cavort undisturbed.
Inkspot
Ready for when he wants to do a bit of cooking, several kilos of ready chopped
onion
.
Software
All he has go to cook them on is this old
Primus®
stove.
Raak
Everyone should have a
quern
. You can't beat hand-ground flour.
8irach
A
Rubik's cube
is ideal to while away the hours whe rab's lady is not around.
Software
Perhaps he could amuse her, or perhaps, himself with these sexy
suspenders
.
Tuj
A nice cup of
tea
.
irach
A
unicorn tapestry
would certainly look nice hung on the wall.
Software
Maybe he could find some space for this old
VAX 11/780
which needs a good home.
irach
An
X-Acto
knife would be useful as a tool around the house.
Tuj
[irach] You neglected to mention the
water buffalo
.
Kim
A
Yard of Ale
, just to prove that he can.
Phil
I'm skint now, after buying a CD and champers, so they're getting
zilch
!
Allow me..
Raak
Time to close the door and tiptoe away...
Audience
*shouts, screams generally goes wild for Raak*
nights
Well, it's better than a wedding list at John Lewis, isn't it?
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