The Fifteenth. (But I admit that I have started cheating now.)

[INJ/CdM] I have cheated this morning and discovered that the lowest ordinal for which there is not a non-TV, feature-length film is 31st!

I have a couple in mind for later on, but I looked up 14th. On the other hand Phil's original suggestion included books, and I don't see why we should exclude made-for-TV films as long as they're feature length (say 80 mins minimum). I'm surprised at 31st not being there though as the last day of 7 months and last day of the year.

And when I do look I discover I actually did know a book with 31st in the title - annoying, that.

Knuckles rapped but - Quartorze Juliette

Ok, so Phil needs to fill in the blanks from 16th to 30th, then we have INJ's, then this.

Then something with 33rd, then Miracle on 34th Street.

[Projoy] Done

[Software] I'll say, I wouldn't stand for that kind of spelling from one of my students.

[nights] Nonono, it's a sort of French Kind Hearts and Coronets, in which Mme Binoche plays fourteen different roles.

[CdM] I see. I'm still not impressed though, Juliette Binoche is bad enough when she's just playing one role, let alone fourteen.

Quiet in here.

I saw my first F1 race last night. It was rather fun in a loud fast car sort of way.

[CdM] Ah - beat me to it. I was just going to ask if you'd watched it, and if not, if it had had an impact on your night.

[Phil] I saw the race from a slightly unusual vantage point. Because the race went by Singapore's business district, a number of offices with good views hosted parties, and we were invited to one of those. I was a bit sceptical beforehand, but it was actually really cool: an excellent birds-eye view of about one third of the track. A group of us also went downstairs for a while in the middle of the race, where we couldn't see much but could certainly hear it. This way of watching the race also had a couple of other advantages: food and wine; and access to television coverage. Given that I don't really follow F1 that closely, I liked being able to hear commentary while watching. I'm sure that being trackside would be a different experience, but I'm not sure I would have gotten so much out of it. All in all, a fun evening.

[CdM] Ah, but did you see where the race was won and lost: i.e. in the Ferrari Pit?

[CdM] I've heard trackside isn't so great, especially if you don't speak the local lingo. A friend of mine was phoned by someone at Spa to find out who had won the grand prix he'd just been watching, as he couldn't find out at the track.

Trackside at the British Grand Prix a few years ago, we were given little radios with earphones to get the trackside commentary, which was excellent. It's a lot more exciting close up - especially in the wet...

Shame about Dress Rehearsal. Never mind though, eh. Anyone have any ideas for new games?

I've just had one. An idea. Condensed books? Summarise the plot of a book in a particularly glib fashion, much like "So the Danish guy dies".

(nights) Good idea, not that I'd be the star contributor.

[nights] I think something similar has been done somewhere before - but it could be anywhere in the last 12 years, so I'm certainly up for a new version.

I am an occasional contributor to, but mostly an amused reader of the "Ridiculously Easy Poetry" game currently being played in another place. Certain opening lines seem to come up quite frequently, sometimes involving fleas. I wonder whether a poetry-based "hillocks" game would be enjoyable for a while ("If I should die and go to Innisfree"). Any thoughts?

[nights] We definitely played that game a couple of years ago -- iirc it involved three-word and then two-word summaries. That doesn't mean we couldn't resurrect it, of course.
[Kim] I like that idea...

[CdM] I think that was "Butler Did It" and it was more than a couple of years ago. :)

Well, as the consensus seems positive, I'll create the game.

Me, too.

I don't understand. Boo hoo hoo. What's the point of the new poetry game?

Don't cry... "Wuthering Hillocks" is a game which aims to ease the poverty of the TV, film and book industries by suggesting inexpensive remakes of old hits, for example "One walked round the cuckoo's nest" or "Who wants to be a milliner?". I'm guessing that the first lines in the new game should be cheap versions of fine famous poetry. Is that it nights? As for the point of it, well...

[BL] Nothing to do with me, squire. I think Kim is the man (or possibly woman, but I think man) you need.

I read back as far as "I'll create the game..." above... So - Kim?

Yes, blamelewis has it right. "When hillocks collide" was an early-ish game on MCiOS and was set in the genre of film. It basically describes the scene of an accident. The film version generated such classics as "The Man Who Wasn't There Who Knew The Man Who Shot The Man Who Fell to Earth in Iron Mask With Two Brains", "One Million Years in Tibet" and "Sink the Titanic!". I mused idly that one could do something like that with well-known lines from poetry, hence "If I should die and go to Innisfree". I hadn't really thought about a ruleset, but perhaps there should be a minimum of two lines and no maximum, the metre of the first line should determine the metre of subsequent lines, rhyme is nice, but not essential. Is that enough to be going on with, folks?

It's a lovely day. I wish I'd got washing out on the line.

(pen)

Earth has not anything to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty. (Wordsworth).

Earth has not anything to show more fair
Any more fares?
Any more fares?(Flanders & Swann)

My wife has been cleverly filtering the (snail) mail the last week so I ended up thinking the only people who had remembered my Birthday were the TV Licensing people.

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday to Rab!

Additionally, does anyone have anything fun planned for the weekend?

[nights] No.

I'm being taken out tonight for a mystery meal. I think.

[rab] Taken all the labels off your tin cans, have you? ;) Slightly belated returns from here too!

[Tuj] Ah, what we used to call The Fabulous Mystery Dining Experience, back when I lived in halls. These days, if I cook out of cans, I'm sneered at by all the French people I know.

(nights) Not surprised; you're supposed to put it in a saucepan. :-)

I planted trees today. And then went dancing. All in all, quite satisfying.

Why on earth would anyone ever want three differently-coloured phones on their desk?

To match their handbag on any particular day, of course. (Well, if Posh can buy cars to match her clothes....)

If it was good enough for Reginald Perrin...

...and a fantastic Pete & Dud sketch...

It's blissfully cold this morning. Very refreshing.

I'm just glad the wind's dropped. The sign on the front of our local Post Office blew off when we were out yesterday (but, luckily, not right in front of the building).

[rab] It's probably a sign.

[Kim] No, it was a sign.

Just had the following train announcement: "Please note it is illegal to play pre-recorded music of popular music artists on trains or at stations because we do not hold a performing rights licence". Not simply because it annoys the crap out of everyone.

[rab] That leaves you clear to broadcast the back catalogue of any unpopular music artist...

(rab) I wonder if that applies to shops. I hope so.

Unfortunately, most places, including my butcher, fork out for the PRS (aka thieving bastards) licence. The butcher, since you ask, has a radio playing, hence he needs the PRS licence.

(Phil) I don't see why musicians shouldn't be paid for any public performance though I don't know the scale of charges. Yes, I am in the MU. I would have thought you would have been more put out by the cost of a music licence from the local council, for which you receive bugger all except a piece of paper and a bill.

No such thing any more. It all comes in the premises licence these days, thankfully.

(Phil) Ah! Didn't know that. But does it cost more if you are licensed for music or are all premises licensed thus?

On a different subject what do you think of the practice of discretionary closing times?, i.e. the pub will stay open the advertised extra half hour if the manager thinks it worth it on any particular evening. To me it's wanting to have your cake and eat it, or less formally, taking the piss. If you're in the pub you don't know how fast to drink or whether to have another half, say, or if arriving late, as I often do, whether the pub will be open or not. To be on the safe side I will be assuming that the place will be closed at all times, as are many of my mates. There's quite a good choice in Carshalton and I wonder if the new manager knows that. He will soon.

[Rosie] Here in Embra there's been 'late' opening for quite some time, which means most pubs close variously between 12 and 1am, and a few staying open to 3 (or 4 during the Festival). It's generally been accepted that if a place is rather quiet, it might close early, but that it's good etiquette for the staff to go round about half-an-hour beforehand to let you know that this is likely to happen, and to suggest venues that are likely to be open later. Seemed to work rather well. (I say 'seemed', as my late-night drinking days are largely behind me now).

I've stopped opening emails today. They've all been boring so far this morning - or have been asking me to do things I don't have time for, so I thought I'd save myself the hassle and stop opening them altogether. People will soon get the point and stop sending them.

(rab) That's reasonable if the hours are as late as that but my "local" is merely extending from 11 to 1130, and on Sundays from 1030 to 11, each night at the manager's discretion. For a "regular" that won't do because one of the points about a favourite pub is its predictablity. This seems a blundering accountant-driven policy or maybe the manager's just a lazy arsehole. We are taking punitive action.

I don't know why, but when I'm in a different timezone, I feel normal rules don't apply.

Los geht's

Anyone care for a mug of kitten?

[Knobbly] Milk no sugar please.

Black with ginger please.