arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
The Banter Page
help
If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
arrow_circle_up
Saville Thick Cut
Excuse me for being thick, but where do you find out what your dividends were. I don't seem to have any :(
spending cash
rab] If you have had any divi it will appear in 'cash available' in the portfolio, I've also set up "Register for CASH PRIZE or UPDATE DETAILS", and so get notified of the divi payout each Friday.
of human bondage
Those knots are darn tricky aren't they?

No, sir. I wouldn't do that, sir.

Furcing Ada!
Judging by the timestamps, it seems to have taken me the best part of 3 hours to construct a fairly desultory move in the furcation game. Admittedly there were a few distractions and my mentis may not have been entirely compos, but still, I won't be doing that again in a hurry...
Spoilsport
[matt] You're no fun any more.
Consolation
...but if it's any consolation, it took me a couple of hours to produce something not much better... (Stratford in particular is a blatant cop-out).
Hang it all
I have a proposal for a game that I have played with a friend and found to be excellent. Cardo is the same as Boardo but with playing cards. Any will do, Normal, Tarot, Donkey, Happy Families, Business etc. It is made more interesting by being played in Reverse. Collective Consciousness seems to have stalled. Any takers?
Divided
I am not aware of having received any dividents :( But at least I sold my shares in BB Jon before he was delisted. Which is a shame cos I think he's going to get a lot of tabloid coverage for as long as he stays in the house.
Down with the monarchy?
For some reason, people are selling shares in Prince Harry. Did noone see the coverage he's got these last two days?
Moanarchy
Wills is dropping like a scally girl's knickers too... odd considering it's his 21st this week (isn't it?).
Cardo
Ah, those memories of the long reverse game at !York . . . .
Not quote moanarchy
Zara Phillips is still on the rise...
avada kadavra
I'm crossing my fingers for JK Rowling, she's on the up...
JK
Yes, I've got 300,000 shares in her at the moment - so I hope she does well ! Unless I have a complete disaster I think kneecapping looms !
Millionaireship
It's all very well to make you a millionaire and reset you to 10000. But, frankly, by the time the Beckhams had had their dividend, I was MUCH more than a millionaire last week, but I still got only 10000 and an icon, and, what's more, they had left me in cash instead of leaving me 10000 worth of my favourite shares. By the time I got in Monday, I was MILES behind.
Rudeness
Yeah, that does seem a little rude. And presumably it means we just get recycled through the league table and it means nothing to be at the top or bottom.
celebdaq
It seems that the main aim of the game is to make the biggest %ge rise in the week, so the amount you start with doesn't really matter.
The main flaw with the game as I see it is that the divis are ludicrously high. If they paid out far smaller amounts then there would (a) be more import attached to how shares moved in value and (b) no need for the silly capping. Anyway, they've set the rules, so it's up to us if we want to play.
Public Service Announcement
Just to let you all know that I'm going away for a few days (everyone say 'ahhh'). So if this thing falls over on its arse I might not be able to fix it.
Although
With a bit of luck they might reset the clock :)
Sound of Slience
Ooh, rab goes away and things go really quiet round here. Rather spooky. Hmm, anyone for tennis?guest
Net Result
[Lib] Well, what's the point without rab as an audience? If what I say is not going to viewed by the mighty rab then I just won't bother.
sorry, that reads rather more sarcastically than intended
Oi
rain stopped play
[Dunx] Sacrasm's fine. [rab] Might have guessed you'd be lurking round the corner somewhere near MC land!
Veryweaktea
On celebdaq my cunning plan, by buying birthday boy Bill (PRWILL) seems to have come unstuck. With just over 100,400 shares they have droppped the best part of £1 each in one week, my value going down from Fri £405081 to £303,379 and still falling. But hey still romping away at No1. Surely Becks at £77.34 is overpriced and rising at 20p an hour?
Oh dear
The Netscape 4 compatibility dandelion seems to have been destroyed by the lawnmower of software sidegrades. Interesting, and not something I can fix while I need to, viz, in Embra.
rab's Oh dear
Any chance of a translation? I thought English was my first language. It now seems I was deluded.
Oh dear oh dear oh dear
I'm sorry Inkspot, but I appear to be top :)
Rum Daq Query
I've plopped from 2nd to 9th ! But surprisingly I've not yet been kneecapped, so I've got over £1.5m to play with.
ouch!
[Blob] It'll happen on Monday. The trick is to get yourself above 2m before then so you can get two wads of cash... I managed it last week by a slender £20,000.
Celebdaq Divvies
Where can you find the dividend payouts? And would JK Rowling have cranked up the divvies this week?
BB4
Dragging the chat back to BB, (is anyone else apart from me watching it?) but I have to say that it is far more amusing when the housemates are drunk. The main problem with them failing their tasks is that the shopping buget becomes too small to buy alcohol. And Sissy MUST go! (JON to WIN!)
Oh!
I seem to be in a new shiny place. Kudos to Nik for letting me steal some of his server space. Hopefully the weekly downtime is a thing of the past.
Ooooh!
Nice and quick as well. Thanks rab & Nik!
None
Mm, it was down earlier today for making the new subdomain work, and was down on friday for upgrading php, and was down a week or so before that for making another subdomain work, but it's all momentary stuff. The line broke a few months ago, but uptime is generally measured in months these days. Except I have to upgrade the kernel this week...

In the meantime, it all seems a lot speedier than I'd expected, so hurrah. Glad to help, and it saves me writing a server of my own.

Right...
[Nik, re downtime] But at least I know who to blame :) Just hoping that I'm not the one attracting the crackers like flies to a shite... or is it the other way round?
Speed
I think the speed might be largely due to the magic of CSS. If you look at the actual HTML, there's very little there at all.
New Game
OK, I took the liberty of upping the game count to celebrate the new home. Roll on the duff product names...
there you are...
rab]Good to see you back up and running, thanks to Nik.
On a more serious note can anyone tell me how ffish managed to get to the top of Celebrity. As for this week I'm at a complete loss but staying well clear of BB housemates.
fffffiiiiiiiiiish
That'll be me. After being kneecapped I bought nothing but Harry, having seen the papers over the weekend. Since then, I've just bought with my dividend who I thought would be helpful...
None
[Rab & Nik] Well done, gentlemen, for saving civilisation as we know it!
lucky 13
A new game! How about another - not that I'm superstitious or anything...
BeeBee
[Lib] Yes I'm watching BB and two of Jon, Fed and Cam will be going this week. Which is a shame as I quite like Cam for being so camp, Jon for being irritating. I have a nasty suspicion that Fed will stay because he's the prettiest and this seems to be what the viewing public goes for most.
Small b
I think the producers of BB have missed an opportunity to allow the public a great voting oppportunity, I would have liked to have seen four preferably five housemates up for eviction. If the thinking behind the BB stategy is because it has losing viewing figures, as the contestants sit around all day. The housemates will always nominate those that have annoyed them or upset the staus quo and it is always the same people as the others keep their heads down and play 'bland/safe'. We could end up with both Jon and Fed leaving, hey what a great interesting group of nicely well behaved and spoken celebs-to-be we'll have then.
Celeb Ducks
Dr Q has been exhorting participants in this rather questionable exploit to advise name/IDs on this banter board. Accordingly, and as usual, I am following his directives. Be warned though that, if there is a team Vs team thing going, I will undoubtedly drag you all down with me. So: ....
DUJON2774 (User ID: 3256726) is the info.
Incidentally, should the co-ordinator be within hearing distance, I assume that once a 'team member' a new menu option will appear? If not, how to I check to see if anyone else has beaten me to the bottom of the ladder?
Bloomin' fingers
I'm sure that you'll work it out... sorry, this digital mode confuses me at times. .... :-)
Being overly chatty.
It's all right, I think I found that bit. (groan)
Ta!
All of a sudden I'm up there with the 'experts' ... problem is they all have lot of little green blobs against their names. Anyhow, dear co-ordinator, thanks muchly. I shall now sink into oblivion.
older sibling
BB chat again... I'd hate to see John go because he's the only one who ever says anything provocative or interesting. He's the Rambling Nerd. I'd like to see Federico stay because sooner or later, he will crack up. He's finding out that he's the weak link, and it's not something he's used to. Cameron is the least offensive - so in my book he should really be the first to go. So my money's on Cameron and Fed. Really, though, they all seem to have forgotten it's a game show - I still maintain the first was the best, when the whole lot of 'em would sing: 'It's only a game show, it's only a game show,' as they headed over to the diary room to make their nominations.
'me too'
[Pen] I guess it didn't cross your mind but thank you for the above, as it rather nicely sums up my thoughts too, and as always, very eloquently. JON MUST STAY!
aaarrrgh
Careful, please, I don't want to memorise any of their names by accident. Can't you use some kind of code?
more generously proportioned fraternal relative
[lib&pen] Vote Jon! On a class basis alone (oops!)
BB4
In it's fourth year, Big Brother appears to have successfully elevated banality to an art form. However, I must confess to being curiously drawn to Big Brother's Little Brother - a nifty little half hour which reduces the day's 'action' to 3 bullet points each containing two words. Says it all really.
Celebdaq
Oops, nearly forgot myself then. Yes - my Celebdaq name and code: CHALKYSPIRE [3320323] I haven't the foggiest what I'm supposed to do, but figured that pressing the 'trade' button from time to time might reap dividends. Thanks for letting me join you and look forward to holding you all up.
For pity's sake, child, tie down the moons of Jupiter!
I think Breadmaster's move in Carpe Diem is one of the most beautiful phrases I've ever heard...*sigh*
Agreed
It almost deserves to be the start of a poem or song, but how would you follow it?
Dunno
...but welcome to the fold nevertheless.
for pity's sake...
I can't think of any rhymes - maybe it could be a miniature game?
Blushing
[Penelope] Why thank you - it does have that "ought to be a palindrome" sort of quality, doesn't it?
By Jove
I think it would make a wonderful opening line for a short story.
Deeply, deeply ashamed of my linguistic skills
Actually - what did the phrase really mean? I've just tried translating it on the assumption that it was Italian - or Spanish - or Portuguese - and I seem to be stumped, or at least the computer is.
tethering moons
I think it's the start of a blank verse poem, chastising a child for having too wild an imagination, and implying the consequences will be grave. I feel like it's been written already - maybe it's something I should work on.
Son pittore ancor io!
[Breadmaster] It came from the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations. To summarise their explanation, on seeing Raphael's St Cecilia at Bologna, c.1525, Antonio Allegri Correggio is supposed to have exclaimed, "Son pittore ancor io!" meaning, "I, too, am a painter!"
Of course...
On the other hand, he may just have seen through the window that Io had broken loose from its orbit and was hurtling towards the Earth. In a blind panic, he screamed, "For pity's sake, child, tie down the moons of Jupiter!"
None
Ah, of course, I must have temporarily forgotten! Maybe we should have a game of highly promising openings to non-existent stories/novels/plays/poems/songs, although I don't know if it would work/has already been done...
author's rights
[Penelope] I graciously permit you to use the line in question, provided I receive full acknowledgement! I thought it might be something about humanity's hubris and folly, but I think your explanation is better and much sadder. Reminds me of the more whimsical Calvin and Hobbes stories.
Celebdaq
Just registered! Details: UNCLE_KORKY (User ID: 3325317). Like Chalky, I've got no real concept of how this is all going to work, so I'll be vying for the foot of the table.
Celebdaq
I, too, have just registered. I am DARRENXYZ (User ID: 3326388).
more tea and biscuits
Uncle Korky and Darren you are pending just waiting for daq towers to load you in. Good luck. Tomorrow being Friday is divi day, can DrQ push ffish off the top. Though I have a feeling evil_edna is just bidding her time.
Going...going...gone to the man with the big beard and scythe
[Inkspot] Bidding her time?
without reserve
*cackle*
cackling...
Well, moreteaplease seems to have taken over top spot, but that's not going to last long - serious kneecapping beckons on Monday...
Early days
[Inkspot] Thanks for adding me to the league. Blimey - I've a lot of work to do...
A-ha
I knew my early investment in Ms Rowling would pay off!
Wahay!
I'm chuffed to little mint balls. Seems as though all my faffing around with the Royals has paid off . . . oops, I meant the Beckhams . . same thing, really. Cheers Inkspot and thanks DrQ - the Pants invasion appears to be gaining support [see The Chatter Page] :-)
Crikee
[Chalky] Not sure I like the sound of a pants invasion... though on the other hand if you're free tonight my number is...

[All] You might be touched to learn that the Manchester Evening News is running a special David Beckham Memorial Issue.

Unapologetically cross-posted
*clears throat* Ahem. May I just take this opportunity to point out that we are just over a week away from a Pilg? Saturday, June 28th, Australians promised, along with some unusual diversions. It may be wise to get there early, since there is wild talk of approaching the Great Place by 1:30, unlikely as that may seem.
Pilgards
I'd be really up for that if my brother wasn't getting married in Paris that weekend. I do a SoloPilg most times I'm in London, making sure I buy a genuine Mornington Crescent Ticket when I'm standing in the hallowed hall. I sometimes gift them to friends on birthdays and the like. They make great bookmarks. My family think I may be certifiable.
Kneecapping imminent
Who's moreteaplease? Also, if you are at £2,999,999 at the point of kneecapping, do you only get 2 wads of cash and end up forfeiting £989,999?
Depilg
Sadly I booked a wee weekend away, so am unable to make what looks set to be a stonking pilg, what with both bearded Australians and teenage hackers called Tiffany in attendance.
Alter ego
(ram being my slightly more random persona).
Delerious
*Lib skips into the crescent, does five cartwheels and an arab-spring, then collapses on the floor, smiling and murmuring "I've passed! I've passed"*
Passed?
... Baker Street picking up a gold podume? ... I'm sure congratulations are in order whatever it is.
*hands Lib a slightly melting Kit Kat and glass of flat lemonade* Well Done!
Lib the delerious
CONGRATULATIONS! I say that - because you appear to be Very Happy and not because I know what it is you've passed - an exam? a parcel? something painful? Anyway, keep smiling, Lib. I'm Chalky and a girly.
None
{rab and Chalky] Thanks.I've passed my finals! I'm now a Doctor! Not sunk in yet!
Doctor Lib
Blimey O'Reilly. Well done.
Further congrats
I trust they let you sober up before handing you the scalpels.
Lib
welcome. *proffers secret handshake*
Dr. Lib
Knockout!! Dr of what ?
Ah. The Doctor.
Would you classify yourself as Tom Baker-ish or more of a Sylvester McCoy-type? :)
Doctoring
[Lib] Doctor Dr. or Ph.D.?
and
Oh, and congrats as well!
More
Congratulations! And are you aiming to go further?
Uptime
So, what's the opinion thus far of mc^5's new home on beefy? I was just mentioning to Kevan that it's quite preposterous that a speedy-in-'98/9 computer hooked into the 'net on a residential DSL (with other things, including Kazaa, running alongside) outperforms a proper host both in speed and reliability/non-hacked-ness terms.

I ask because I'm a) drunk, and b) not aware of any glitches. Tell me, I'm your friendly neighbourhood BOFH.

Doctorhood
I notice that I didn't pay close attention to recent postings. Congratulations, Lib. Entertaining, vaguely related occurrence at work today. Boss&colleague:mumblemumble. Colleague: Nik, what have you got? HNC, degree, what?. Nik: Nothing. I'm completely unqualified. Boss: <blank, but firm, stare>.
Being a bit of a devil.
Nik, I wouldn't worry about it. I used to work in the banking industry (for 26 years!) and we used to take in 'graduates'. They would be those in the banking, commerce and accounting fields, of course. We used to trial them for 6 - 12 months and drop them upon other unsuspecting souls for 2 or three months at a time and then move them around in the various areas/facets of the organisation. Something like 95% either moved on, were moved on or simply froze in horror at actually having to work and simply 'deserted' ... :-) Now, I'm not denigrating degrees and the like (well, not much - my son's a B.Sc. so I can't can I?) but one wonders at times as to the worth of these degrees if their recipients are incapable of assimilating into a real world environment.

To you, Lib, congratulations, I wish that I were that well endowed intellectually.

To those of you in academia, and I gather there are a few who gather here, please do not take offence - I am merely stating my experiences.
more tea Bishop
Lib congrats, now you have more spare time don't forget to visit Celebdaq and buy a few shares post your id, ready for the post divi results like this table for Friday 20 June .
DrQ]moreteaplease is my second account, speaking of which it looks like I'm in for a sports car after the kneecapping.
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord