Bratsche (Ger.) = Viola (Eng.) I'm the one at the top of the list. Are you local?

I remember fondly the days when she used to invite me and Steve Irwin to her private estate in back-country Australia. How she used to enjoy having me deep in her bush as we both watched Steve playing with his snake.

Ooh my friend plays the viola!

[HB]You're principal viola then? Oh I say. I'm about a hundred miles south, but I occasionally work in Brum and have friends there.

ZK] Maybe Herr Bratsche is your friend ? Had you considered that ? How spooky would that be ? I am a 94 year old woman.

[st d] Well, I had my suspicions...

ZK] that I was 94 ?

Yes.

I have a very good friend who is a viola player. For years she did quite literally nothing else, but now she diversifies by also playing jazz double bass, which I consider to be a step in the right direction.

Did you hear about the gangster string quartet? They were charged with extracting money with violins.

[ZK] I think I'll be 27 by the time of the Pilg (based on a gnawing suspicion that I'm 26 at the moment).
Should Lib end up being unavailable (and public transport ends up being undesirable), I'd be happy enough to drive Northern types down. My car fits 4 passengers, in theory, and I have no reason to doubt it. As for playing a part, I think I'm best suited to propping up the bar and providing a laugh-track. And some vulgarity, if you're all unlucky.
[rab] The parser is getting HTML wrong, if I'm not mistaken - or is it deliberately replacing < with &lt;?

Aha! It's the preview, it seems.

[DrQu+xum]Who on earth do you own?? Here am I sitting raking in a veritable tabloid pittance....

(Breadmaster) There is a cruel joke amongst muso's thus: "What do you call a viola player with Grade V1". "Gifted".

What's the difference between a trampoline and a viola? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.

A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?
The conductor. Business before pleasure.

[ZK] If you want the full set, see here. Also has links to jokes about other musicians.

[Nik] Do I take your second post as a kind of "everything's ok" or is there some "feature" I should investigate?

[Thos] 34 on the 29th february? So, that'll make you 136 in real terms! Well done old man for hiding your age so well!
[ZK] There's a few viola players hiding around the crescent. I one of the very ametuer ones.

And at times I'm also very ametuer at spelling and English. *blushes and hides cos of stupidity*

[Lib] If you apply sufficient pressure to JLE's gonads he will also confess ...

[HB] I knew there was a few of us! We will take over the world. Can I ask why Shrewsbury for the second concert. Its a lovely place but doesn't often get good concerts. (Its my home town, and according to my driving lisence I still live there!). Personally I think St Mary's church is a better concert venue, but the Abbey is lovely too. I will encourage my mum to go and watch you.

[Lib] Why? Why not! As for the venue, many moons ago we used to do a concert anually in the Music Hall. However, audiences were never good, and the management became less and less helpful, so we stopped going, and were never there for aout 10 years. However, venues come and venues go, and we found ourselves with a gap in the schedule, so approached a number of places, and Shrewsbury Abbey was (a) the right sort of size, and (b) had a helpful attitude. We went there for the first time last year, and got a respectable crowd, so will try again this year.

[HB] Where did you think I got them from? :)

[ZK] I bought a ton of Jordan well before IACGMOOH2 (Can you say £10+/share dividends for three weeks straight?) and picked up a ton of Janet Jackson the moment her tit hit the screen.