... terrifying bowler hat with a razor-sharp rim which can be launched with amazing accuracy at any passing politician. Ha, ha! You shall never catch me because I am ...

... in my top secret base in Sri Lanka protected by my own elite corps of two thousand well trained soldiers. SMERSH have sent Olga, one of their best agents. The two of you met on the Orient Express last spring, you will remember her flame red hair and big ...

...pink rubber Wellingtons? This may be no surprise, but the Wellingtons can be inflated into a stylish boudoir, fully equipped for seduction, complete with stereogram and silk-sheeted king-sized water bed. I have to admit that I have fallen for this lady's impressive talents on a number of occasions. The last time was has a little assignation she gave me...

whoops - correctionThe last time we had a little assignation she gave me...

... a serious dose of the clap. Another of her wonderous tallents is ...