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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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Now we have Sir Randolph Jones to give a talk explaining Gordon Brown's budget the special simplified ladies' language.
Good-evening-ladies. Now-for-the WEATHER. The WEATHER. It-will-be-a-SUNNY-day. A-SUNNY-day. This-means-it-is-a-good-time-to-HANG-YOUR-WASHING. HANG-YOUR-WASHING.
Our feature segments today are "The Little Woman at Home" and "How to Starch and Iron His Shirts". This will be followed by a lovely musical rendition of the all-time favourites - "Stand By Your Man" and "Give the Boy a Hand".
Next kill on woman's your hour, the horror of cot babies death.
Interview subject: Of course, all women would admit the difficulties of menstruation are vastly exaggerated.
And, Of course, as a doctor, if a woman screams during childbirth I know she's faking it. Scientific studies show that the quantities of dopamine released during the birth process render pain impossible while giving birth. It's basically just hysteria and a failure to control the emotions.
And, conversely, I've given birth to three children of my own, and I have to tell all the women listening that my birth process was much more painful than theirs, any day.
C'mon girls, tits out for the lads!
"Perhaps your listeners could tell me why it is that women take nine months to come up with an answer to a very simple question?"
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