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Coming In During Dinner
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The count has been counted, Returning Officers have returned, and party rosettes have been trampled underfoot in the Town Hall Chamber at the end of election night.
Get your glad rags on for the Local Party Election Victory Ball at the Town Hall Ballroom, 7.30pm for 8pm, black tie, carriages at midnight. But there are bound to be one or two late-comers...
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Please welcome Mr. Oftheshrew who's arrived with his Vietnamese fiancee, Tami Ng.
Closely followed by Mrs AssPoorYorick with her husband Al.
Ah, her comes Mr.O'Medes with his lovely wife Di
And what would this Midsummer Night's soiree be without them - please welcome Mr. Ryqueen and his enchanting wife Fay.
Now arriving, Ms. Morelovely and Ms.Moretemperate with their mutual friend Art and here's Mrs. Lock and her little daughter, oh she's so shy, as is Mrs. Budsofmay's little darling - they too have just walked in.
From Italy, please welcome Ms. Ofverona who's accompanied by two gentlemen, and now here come Mr. Tonio with his wife Ann, and his good friend Mr. Anio who's here with his wife Bess.
Please welcome Mr and Mrs LusandCressida with their son Troy, along with Mr and Mrs TersTale and their son Wyn.
And now, welcome Mrs. O'Lanus and her little boy Cory.
Announcing the arrival of Mrs. Iloquy and her huband Solomon, who's known to all and sundry as just Sol.
Please welcome Mrs. Ingdom-Forahorse and her husband Mike.
And now, sure to make a big splash - Mrs Turd and her husband Richard D.
And now, scaling the wall to get here, are Ms. Amusandthisbe and her lover boy Pierre.
Now let's give a well proportioned welcome to Mr. Sureformeasure and his wife May , Mrs. Net who's accompanied by her son and Mrs. Zabethan and her husband Eli.
Please welcome, on my left Mrs Gue and her husband Monty, and on my right Mrs Pulet with her consort Charles Anthony, known to all as C.A.
Here now are Mrs. Onofathens and husband Tim accompanied by Mrs. Cles and her son Perry.
Coming up from the cellar Mr and Mrs N KRANTS and their lovely daughter ROSE, closely followed by Mr STEIN who has just tipped me a GUILDER. (cheeky sod not even legal tender now!)
Another one, shall we...? Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen to the most earth shaking global event of the year- THE ANNUAL GEOGRAPHERS' BALL.
Please welcome Mrs. Amanca and her husband Sal, Mrs. Ya and her husband Ken, and all the way from Russia, Mrs. Ivostok and her husband Vlad.
And from the smallest EU member state, we are honoured with the presence of Ms Etta and her husband Val
Now arriving Mrs. Wa and her husband Otto, Mrs. Toba and her spouse Manny, Ms. Monton and her beau Ed and Mrs. Berta and her man Al.
Please welcome Mr and Mrs Placetostopandbuypetrolbeforethemotorway and their Swedish son Lars.
And also Mr Manislands and his wife Kay.
...and of course her sister, who's called Kay too.
Here come Mr. Ados and his wife Barb, Mr. Apolis and his wife Minnie, Mrs. Pelago and her husband Archie, Mrs. Tucky and her husband Ken, and finally Mr. Apagos and his gal.
Oh look, there's Loess. How gneiss.
Look now , it's Mrs. Ifax with her husband Hal, Ms. Chu-Picchu who's come with her Ma and Mr. Ho, accompanied by his wife Ida.
Will you all please welcome Mr and Mrs Luvialdeposits and their son Al.
And now prithee abase y'rselves before Mr & Mrs Ticline and their daughter Ann.
I see the working girls have arrived, or The Mendips, as we call them.
Please welcome Mrs. Jave and her husband Mo, Mr. Livia and his wfe Bo, Mrs. Bleland and her husband Ara, Mrs. Ora and her son and Ms. Kistan and her Pa.
Now arriving Mr. Ence and his wife Flo, Mrs. Inburgh and her husband Ed, Ms.Rdeen and her beau Abe, Mr. Mentaryrock and his wife Sadie, Ms. Acabana and her fiance- he's a cop, and Mrs. Islava with her fidgety, whining little boy - boy, is he a brat!
And also the twins Fergus and Rick, lazy as ever in their car!
Welcome now Ms. Ifornia and her husband Cal, Mrs Pinemeadow and her husband Al, Mrs. Ghazi and her husband Ben and Mrs. O'Mites with her little girl- she's such a little doll.
And just arriving are the Seilles clan, headed by their Mar, followed by Mr and Mrs Kjavik and their son Ray
Will you please welcome Mr and Mrs Ube and their son Dan.
Now arriving are Mr. Bai and his Mum, Mr. Rradelfuego and his lovely wife Tia, Mrs. Enhagen and her husband, he's a cop, and Mr. Gota, accompanied by his lovely wife Bo.
Oh look,here's Mona and co.
Please put your hands together for Mr and Mrs Bennettdidyoueverseesuchglaciatedlandforms and their son Gordon.
Ah, and her come Mrs.Buktu and her husband Tim, Mrs. Geria and her husband Al and Dr. Insula and his lovely wife Penelope, that's Pen to us all.
Mrs & Mrs Eria have brought their son Nige and their daughter Lib. And I see Mr Congo has completed his PhD, and is now DR Congo.
Please welcome Mr. Tinentaldrift and his son Con. Heralding the arrival of Mrs. Wan and her daughter Tai, sorry, the young lady is now married to Mr. Pei. Late as usual we have Mr. and Mrs. Skye and their lovely daughter Isla.
Here comes Mrs. Rocco, accompanied by her man Mo, Mr. Ablanca and his wife Cass, Mrs. Geria and her husband Al, and Mrs. Tius with her husband Maury.
And,arriving undercover - Q, keeper of spy gadgets for the IRA.
Here's the gangster Don Davia accompanied by his moll, followed close on their heels by his ex-moll Ms. Ube, all dressed in blue, accompanied by her new gangster beau, Dan, and ahh, here come the Polis sisters, Anna and Minnie A.
Here come Mr and Mrs River and their two sons, Niall and Clyde. And following close behing them is Mr Issippi and his unmarried daughter, the beautiful Miss.
Look who's now arriving- it's none other than Mr. Jevo with his wife Sara, Mrs Aragua and her husband Nick, Mrs. Vador with her lovely daughters Elle and Sal; oh! here come Master Raguay and little Miss Kistan who're both here with their Pas , Mr. Aide whose arrived with his lady Adele, and finally the henpecked Mrs. Oya with his wife- she's a real nag!
The incredibly gifted lab Tech, Ms Cplates, familiarly known as Toni.
Here comes Mr. Ir with his wife Pam, Mrs. Otho has just arrived accompanied by her hubby Les; Oh! here's Mr. Tok and his gang, and now arriving Mr. Tucket and his lovely wife Nan and his daday, affectionately known as Paw and finally Mrs. Bany who's arrived with husband Al.
Over a week since I last looked and only one? Time to refresh with
SPORTING EVENTS BALL

And first up to the post, the delightful matriach d'National, affectionately known to all as Gran.
Here they come, making a terrible racket, Ms. Nis and her Ten kids
Will you please welcome Mr and Mrs Perbowl and their daughter Sue.
Here comes Ms. Jumping with her fiance Bernard Graham, popularly known to all as Bern G., Mrs. Polo's now arrived with her husband Walter; ah! here comes Mrs. Kerr with her hubby ChuckImpic-Games with her man Olly and Mr. Thon and his lovely wife Mara.
Please be upstanding for Mr and Mrs DVvanstrophysemifinalsecondlegdecidedonpenalties and their daughter Elle.
Please welcome from the USA Mr and Mrs Erofpolo and their son Chuck.
Please stand back and allow the caretakers to remove the picture over the mantelpiece - we had thought it was an original Upfinal, but I'm afraid it's proved to be a Fake.
Also from the US of A Mr and Mrs Ations and their young daughter, Fawn.
And a welcome please for Mr and Mrs Ing-Cup and their son Carl.
A big hand please for Mr and Mrs Spoonrace and their son Egon.
Just entering Admiral and Mrs Rhys-Cupp and their lovely daughter Amy.
Prithee all abase y'selves before Mr and Mrs Bennettlookatthelengthofthatticketqueue and their son Gordon. (trad.)
From North of the border come Mr & Mrs Cutta Cup with their sone Cal
And here they come, weaving through the gates with a swish, that popular Neskiing couple, Al & Pi.
From Spain, Mr & Mrs Hundred-Metres are here, and a short dash away is their son Juan driving their 4 x 4
And behind them that popular couple from the world of televised sport, Mr and Mrs Cingfromwarwick and their son Ray.
Make way for Mr & Mrs National and their Gran.
Here comes Mrs. Tuckyderby with her husband Ken and Mr. Te with his lovely wife Kara; here's Mr. and Mrs. Wando who've brought along their little tyke, accompanied by Mrs. Ido and her husband Ike.
[irach] Couldn't Ken Do come, or Solly "The Jew" Jitsu?
And here we have Mr. Larts his wife Martia, accompanied by their daughter Pauline who came by Tram.
Please welcome Mr & Mrs Deeanappleizfivehundred and their son Ian
Please be upstanding for Mr & Mrs Manteetee and their biker daughter Isla
A big hand for the Raleigh brothers, Monty and Carlo.
Please welcome Mr and Mrs Mulerwan and their quadruplets, known as the Four.
Please welcome Mr & Mrs Sh and their son Lou and his friend Bob Slay
Please give a rousing welcome to Mrs. Atta and her husband Reg and Mr. Ving who's accompanied by his lady Di; look- here's Mr. Vault with his fiancee from Wroclaw- (she's a Pole), and Mr. Xing with his wife Bo.
From the International Olympic Committee, please welcome from Spain, Senor Slipofthefingerandthewrongsoddingcitygetstheolympics and his button-pushing pal, Juan
Here comes Mrs. Mostlost-DeMatch with her husband Al, followed by Mrs. Tplace and her husband N. Lars; Oh! and here come Miss Elle Bow and her fiance T. Ennis.
Are we fed up of the continual party circuit yet? Is it time for a new game?
It would seem so - since it's been a week since you posed that question: Mornington Crescent.
*shouts, screams generally goes wild for rab*
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord