mc5 - Coming In During Dinner

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Coming In During Dinner

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The count has been counted, Returning Officers have returned, and party rosettes have been trampled underfoot in the Town Hall Chamber at the end of election night.
Get your glad rags on for the Local Party Election Victory Ball at the Town Hall Ballroom, 7.30pm for 8pm, black tie, carriages at midnight. But there are bound to be one or two late-comers...

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Our malnutritional diseases expert Dr. Etts has now arrived together with son Rick; here's neurologists Dr. Tonin and his wife Sarah and Dr. Ium and her husband Val, and from our cardiology unit, Dr. Esterol and her husband Cole.

And, what infectious smiles they have - her come Dr. Thrax and his lovely wife Ann, and Dr. Ellosis and her husband Bruce from our Communicable Diseases unit; now please join me in wecoming Dr.Major and her husband Sir Jerry.

Here now, from the STD clinic is Dr. Talherpes and his wife Jenny, from our Virology division Dr. Io nd her husband Paul and from our Gender Identity clinic Dr. Phrodite and his lovely fiancee Irma.

Please give a rousing welcome to staff from our Psychiatric Clinic- Dr. Alomania and his wife Meg arriving together with Dr. Trophobia and her husband Claus and Dr. Lusions-O'Grandeur with his lovely wife Dee.

From our medical imaging department here come technician Mrs. O'Gram and her son; from our teaching laboratory, Dr. Tomical and his wife Anna, and ah, moving rapidly towards Dr. Sentry and his wife Dee who have been her a while, is parasitic disease expert Dr. Bic and his lovely wife Amy.

Seems to have dried up a bit, but a jolly good effort by all there. How about

Late arrivals at the Alcoholic Beverages Ball?

First to arrive not on time, Mr and Mrs Ingblack-Label and their son Carl. And is that Pa and Ma Diera-Wine?

Here's Glen Livet with his American cousin, Jack Daniels.

Please welcome Mr and Mrs Tonic and their daughter Jean Ann.

Look, it's Dr. No, with his Dad, Père Nod.

Mr and Mrs Two-Oh with their son Jay.

And lovely to see the cannonised St. Ella d'Artois and St. Ron G'bow.

Please all be upstanding for Mr and Mrs Quiri and their adopted Welsh son Dai.

Here come Mr. Canter, his lovely wife Dee and their daughter Brandy.

Please now give a rousing welcome to Madame Vignon and her husband Saul, and Frau Ontherocks and her husband Martin E.

Now arriving are Dr. Andtonic and his lovely bride Jen and Ms. Cordial with her fiance Liam.

Ah, here come our Far East visitors -they've travelled all the way from Siam, welcome please Mr. Thai and his lovely wife Mai and from Japan Mr. Kaze and his lovely wife Kami.

From Scotland, Mr and Mrs Manport with their son Sandy.

Now arriving, Mr. Orum and his lady Peg, and Mrs. Schott-Ovodka with her husband Hugh G.; they're talking to the hosts of tonight's ball, Mrs. Cohol and her husband Al and Mr. Verage and his lovely wife Bev.

They're the party poopers, but please welcome anyway, our uninvited guests, Mrs. Taler and her fiance Tito and Mrs. Ered-Downedrinks and her husband Walt

Please welcome Mr and Mrs Weiser with their son Bud.

Here come Mr. and Mrs. Heiser-Busch accompanied by their daughter Ann

Please now welcome Dom Ignon and his son Perry.

Now announcing the arrival of Mr. Sette and his wife Annie and Lady Hua with her husband Karl.

Adding some spice and flavour to tonight's event, here come Mrs. Buca and her husband Sam, Mr. Gelico and his wife Fran and Mr. Schino accompanied by his wife Mara.

Please now give a rousing welcome to Mrs. Edectine and her husband Ben and to Mrs. Tura-Bitters and her husband Angus.

Where would this Ball be without them? - please welcome Mrs. Enders and her husband Bart and Mr. Kennnot-Stirred and his wife Shea.

And please welcome Mr and Mrs Mish-Stout with their daughter Bea.

Here now is Mr Todd E. and his fiancee, she's hot! And here from gay Paris comes Madame Eaumouton-Rothschild, who brought along her chat.

Please put your hands together to welcome Mrs Ot and her husband Merle, and Ms. Jolais who's here with her beau. Here now come Mrs. Ihana-Sake and her husband Ben.

Please welcome and make admiring comments to Mr and Mrs Cham with their baby. (Surely too young to be at a ball. Ed)

Now arriving, effervescent as ever, the DeCork twins and their pop, followed (as is so often the case at these soirees) by Mrs.Over and her hubby Hank

And following Hank Over, from Germany it's Herr Ofthedog.

Arriving now, Mr. Ttomsup and his dear wife Bo, Mr. Ut and his better-half Sal, and Mr. and Mrs. Stemware and their lovely sparkly daughter Crystal.

Please welcome Mr and Mrs Pintofshandyandabagofcrisps and their son Arthur

Here come the Steins and their tall daughter Beersheba, known to us all as just Beer; let's drink to their health and that of our other arriving guests , Mr. Zeltov and his Ma.

Please welcome Mr and Mrs BennetthowlongdoesittaketochangeabarrelforChrist'ssake and their thirsty son Gordon. Trad.

Here, making a clandestine entry, are Mr. Shine and his lovely wife Mona, followed by Mr. Sotted and his wife Bea and Mrs. Lated and her pet chihuahua Pixie.

And as the evening draws to a close, please welcome from Sweden Mr and Mrs Torders-Please with their son Lars.

Even later arrivals are Mr and Mrs 'AveyerglassesPLEASE and their son Les.

And now, at last here' Mrs. Sleepitoff and her husband Homer too.

Making sure everyone is on the up and up at the Ball, here come Mrs. Galdrinkin-Gage and her husband Lee

And now, arriving just in time, Ms Kaseltzer with her devoted Al.

"Egad, here comes that dreadful widow Stumpwater and her hillbilly daughter Georgia."

Please now welcome Mr. Lindrunk and his wife Maud and Mrs. Pefied and her husband Stuart, nicknamed Stu.

Yeeeeeha! Joining the fun and coming in dancing an Appalachian barn-stomp are Ms. Tryhooch and her man (and also her first cousin), Conrad, that's Con to those of us who know him (and his still in the backwoods) quite well.

From Transylvania here's the Prince of Darkness, Count Ivar-Vodka with his son Vlad. (Transylvania? Surely Warrington. Ed)

Please welcome the voluptious Ms Hatton and her man, furtively followed by "E" from MI5 and her current control Martin.

That's "voluptuous" of course!

Ah, here straight from Havana are Mrs. Jito and her husband Mo, followed by Mrs. D'Punch and her husband Spike.

Rita and her friend marge have just walked in, accompanied by Senor Colada and his wife Pina.

Please now welcome Ms. Bristolcream hand-in-hand with someone, whose hand is it she's holding? Oh yes, it's her brother Harvey's; and now here comes Mrs.Ishwhisky with her husband Ira.

Ach, please now welcome from Scotland Mrs. Dronach and her husband Glen and from Cork in Ireland Mrs. Sirishcream and her husband Bailey.

And now from Shanghai, its Mr. Chi who's here with his Auntie and looky here, its Mr. Aresco now arriving with his wife Barb.

Here's Ms. Ness with her fiancee from Marseilles Guy; followed by Mrs. Aner-Dunkelweisse and her husband Paul and from Quebec here come Mr.Sonlager and his wife Molly, affectionately known as Mol.

They're so cool- please now welcome Ms. Uminiumicebucket and her husband Al and Ms. Typroof and her pet poodle Fifi.

And from the Basque border of France in the Pyreeness, here are our distinguished guests, Madame Ouleguy-Cabernet and her Monseuir Ira

Maybe it's time for a new set? How about Late Arrivals to the Shakespeare Enthusiasts' Garden Soiree? Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our annual garden party felicitating the Bard of Avon! I am pleased to announce the arrival of Mrs. Ornottobe hand-in-hand with her little boy Toby, followed by her daughter Beth and husband Mac.

Please welcome Mr & Mrs Thefourthpartone and their son Henry. Not allowable, strictly, because the name is there already, but sod it.

Now arriving Mr. Trical and his wife Thea and Mr. Byanyothername and his wife Rose.

Please now welcome Mr. Enkranz with his wife, also named Rose, and Mrs. Iban with her husband Cal.

All the way from the BBC (Bogota Bard-lovers Circle) please welcome Senor Uscezar and his wife Juli

Here comes Mrs. DeMona and her husband, Desmond, who we better know as Des, and Mr. Wivesofwindsor with his wife Mary.

And now please welcome Col. Waretheides-O'March and wife Beatrice, who we know by her nicknmae Bea.

Look who's here! It's Dr. Stern and his lovely wife Guilda.

Please welcome Mr. Oftheshrew who's arrived with his Vietnamese fiancee, Tami Ng.

Closely followed by Mrs AssPoorYorick with her husband Al.

Ah, her comes Mr.O'Medes with his lovely wife Di

And what would this Midsummer Night's soiree be without them - please welcome Mr. Ryqueen and his enchanting wife Fay.

Now arriving, Ms. Morelovely and Ms.Moretemperate with their mutual friend Art and here's Mrs. Lock and her little daughter, oh she's so shy, as is Mrs. Budsofmay's little darling - they too have just walked in.

From Italy, please welcome Ms. Ofverona who's accompanied by two gentlemen, and now here come Mr. Tonio with his wife Ann, and his good friend Mr. Anio who's here with his wife Bess.

Please welcome Mr and Mrs LusandCressida with their son Troy, along with Mr and Mrs TersTale and their son Wyn.

And now, welcome Mrs. O'Lanus and her little boy Cory.

Announcing the arrival of Mrs. Iloquy and her huband Solomon, who's known to all and sundry as just Sol.

Please welcome Mrs. Ingdom-Forahorse and her husband Mike.

And now, sure to make a big splash - Mrs Turd and her husband Richard D.

And now, scaling the wall to get here, are Ms. Amusandthisbe and her lover boy Pierre.

Now let's give a well proportioned welcome to Mr. Sureformeasure and his wife May , Mrs. Net who's accompanied by her son and Mrs. Zabethan and her husband Eli.

Please welcome, on my left Mrs Gue and her husband Monty, and on my right Mrs Pulet with her consort Charles Anthony, known to all as C.A.

Here now are Mrs. Onofathens and husband Tim accompanied by Mrs. Cles and her son Perry.

Coming up from the cellar Mr and Mrs N KRANTS and their lovely daughter ROSE, closely followed by Mr STEIN who has just tipped me a GUILDER. (cheeky sod not even legal tender now!)

Another one, shall we...? Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen to the most earth shaking global event of the year- THE ANNUAL GEOGRAPHERS' BALL.

Please welcome Mrs. Amanca and her husband Sal, Mrs. Ya and her husband Ken, and all the way from Russia, Mrs. Ivostok and her husband Vlad.

And from the smallest EU member state, we are honoured with the presence of Ms Etta and her husband Val

Now arriving Mrs. Wa and her husband Otto, Mrs. Toba and her spouse Manny, Ms. Monton and her beau Ed and Mrs. Berta and her man Al.

Please welcome Mr and Mrs Placetostopandbuypetrolbeforethemotorway and their Swedish son Lars.

And also Mr Manislands and his wife Kay.

...and of course her sister, who's called Kay too.

Here come Mr. Ados and his wife Barb, Mr. Apolis and his wife Minnie, Mrs. Pelago and her husband Archie, Mrs. Tucky and her husband Ken, and finally Mr. Apagos and his gal.

Oh look, there's Loess. How gneiss.

Look now , it's Mrs. Ifax with her husband Hal, Ms. Chu-Picchu who's come with her Ma and Mr. Ho, accompanied by his wife Ida.

Will you all please welcome Mr and Mrs Luvialdeposits and their son Al.

And now prithee abase y'rselves before Mr & Mrs Ticline and their daughter Ann.

I see the working girls have arrived, or The Mendips, as we call them.

Please welcome Mrs. Jave and her husband Mo, Mr. Livia and his wfe Bo, Mrs. Bleland and her husband Ara, Mrs. Ora and her son and Ms. Kistan and her Pa.

Now arriving Mr. Ence and his wife Flo, Mrs. Inburgh and her husband Ed, Ms.Rdeen and her beau Abe, Mr. Mentaryrock and his wife Sadie, Ms. Acabana and her fiance- he's a cop, and Mrs. Islava with her fidgety, whining little boy - boy, is he a brat!

And also the twins Fergus and Rick, lazy as ever in their car!

Welcome now Ms. Ifornia and her husband Cal, Mrs Pinemeadow and her husband Al, Mrs. Ghazi and her husband Ben and Mrs. O'Mites with her little girl- she's such a little doll.

And just arriving are the Seilles clan, headed by their Mar, followed by Mr and Mrs Kjavik and their son Ray

Will you please welcome Mr and Mrs Ube and their son Dan.

Now arriving are Mr. Bai and his Mum, Mr. Rradelfuego and his lovely wife Tia, Mrs. Enhagen and her husband, he's a cop, and Mr. Gota, accompanied by his lovely wife Bo.

Oh look,here's Mona and co.

Please put your hands together for Mr and Mrs Bennettdidyoueverseesuchglaciatedlandforms and their son Gordon.

Ah, and her come Mrs.Buktu and her husband Tim, Mrs. Geria and her husband Al and Dr. Insula and his lovely wife Penelope, that's Pen to us all.

Mrs & Mrs Eria have brought their son Nige and their daughter Lib. And I see Mr Congo has completed his PhD, and is now DR Congo.

Please welcome Mr. Tinentaldrift and his son Con. Heralding the arrival of Mrs. Wan and her daughter Tai, sorry, the young lady is now married to Mr. Pei. Late as usual we have Mr. and Mrs. Skye and their lovely daughter Isla.

Here comes Mrs. Rocco, accompanied by her man Mo, Mr. Ablanca and his wife Cass, Mrs. Geria and her husband Al, and Mrs. Tius with her husband Maury.

And,arriving undercover - Q, keeper of spy gadgets for the IRA.

Here's the gangster Don Davia accompanied by his moll, followed close on their heels by his ex-moll Ms. Ube, all dressed in blue, accompanied by her new gangster beau, Dan, and ahh, here come the Polis sisters, Anna and Minnie A.

Here come Mr and Mrs River and their two sons, Niall and Clyde. And following close behing them is Mr Issippi and his unmarried daughter, the beautiful Miss.

Look who's now arriving- it's none other than Mr. Jevo with his wife Sara, Mrs Aragua and her husband Nick, Mrs. Vador with her lovely daughters Elle and Sal; oh! here come Master Raguay and little Miss Kistan who're both here with their Pas , Mr. Aide whose arrived with his lady Adele, and finally the henpecked Mrs. Oya with his wife- she's a real nag!

The incredibly gifted lab Tech, Ms Cplates, familiarly known as Toni.

Here comes Mr. Ir with his wife Pam, Mrs. Otho has just arrived accompanied by her hubby Les; Oh! here's Mr. Tok and his gang, and now arriving Mr. Tucket and his lovely wife Nan and his daday, affectionately known as Paw and finally Mrs. Bany who's arrived with husband Al.

Over a week since I last looked and only one? Time to refresh with

SPORTING EVENTS BALL

And first up to the post, the delightful matriach d'National, affectionately known to all as Gran.

Here they come, making a terrible racket, Ms. Nis and her Ten kids

Will you please welcome Mr and Mrs Perbowl and their daughter Sue.

Here comes Ms. Jumping with her fiance Bernard Graham, popularly known to all as Bern G., Mrs. Polo's now arrived with her husband Walter; ah! here comes Mrs. Kerr with her hubby ChuckImpic-Games with her man Olly and Mr. Thon and his lovely wife Mara.

Please be upstanding for Mr and Mrs DVvanstrophysemifinalsecondlegdecidedonpenalties and their daughter Elle.

Please welcome from the USA Mr and Mrs Erofpolo and their son Chuck.

Please stand back and allow the caretakers to remove the picture over the mantelpiece - we had thought it was an original Upfinal, but I'm afraid it's proved to be a Fake.

Also from the US of A Mr and Mrs Ations and their young daughter, Fawn.

And a welcome please for Mr and Mrs Ing-Cup and their son Carl.

A big hand please for Mr and Mrs Spoonrace and their son Egon.

Just entering Admiral and Mrs Rhys-Cupp and their lovely daughter Amy.

Prithee all abase y'selves before Mr and Mrs Bennettlookatthelengthofthatticketqueue and their son Gordon. (trad.)

From North of the border come Mr & Mrs Cutta Cup with their sone Cal

And here they come, weaving through the gates with a swish, that popular Neskiing couple, Al & Pi.

From Spain, Mr & Mrs Hundred-Metres are here, and a short dash away is their son Juan driving their 4 x 4

And behind them that popular couple from the world of televised sport, Mr and Mrs Cingfromwarwick and their son Ray.

Make way for Mr & Mrs National and their Gran.

Here comes Mrs. Tuckyderby with her husband Ken and Mr. Te with his lovely wife Kara; here's Mr. and Mrs. Wando who've brought along their little tyke, accompanied by Mrs. Ido and her husband Ike.

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