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Coming In During Dinner
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The count has been counted, Returning Officers have returned, and party rosettes have been trampled underfoot in the Town Hall Chamber at the end of election night.
Get your glad rags on for the Local Party Election Victory Ball at the Town Hall Ballroom, 7.30pm for 8pm, black tie, carriages at midnight. But there are bound to be one or two late-comers...
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Please welcome Mrs. Ingdom-Forahorse and her husband Mike.
And now, sure to make a big splash - Mrs Turd and her husband Richard D.
And now, scaling the wall to get here, are Ms. Amusandthisbe and her lover boy Pierre.
Now let's give a well proportioned welcome to Mr. Sureformeasure and his wife May , Mrs. Net who's accompanied by her son and Mrs. Zabethan and her husband Eli.
Please welcome, on my left Mrs Gue and her husband Monty, and on my right Mrs Pulet with her consort Charles Anthony, known to all as C.A.
Here now are Mrs. Onofathens and husband Tim accompanied by Mrs. Cles and her son Perry.
Coming up from the cellar Mr and Mrs N KRANTS and their lovely daughter ROSE, closely followed by Mr STEIN who has just tipped me a GUILDER. (cheeky sod not even legal tender now!)
Another one, shall we...? Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen to the most earth shaking global event of the year- THE ANNUAL GEOGRAPHERS' BALL.
Please welcome Mrs. Amanca and her husband Sal, Mrs. Ya and her husband Ken, and all the way from Russia, Mrs. Ivostok and her husband Vlad.
And from the smallest EU member state, we are honoured with the presence of Ms Etta and her husband Val
Now arriving Mrs. Wa and her husband Otto, Mrs. Toba and her spouse Manny, Ms. Monton and her beau Ed and Mrs. Berta and her man Al.
Please welcome Mr and Mrs Placetostopandbuypetrolbeforethemotorway and their Swedish son Lars.
And also Mr Manislands and his wife Kay.
...and of course her sister, who's called Kay too.
Here come Mr. Ados and his wife Barb, Mr. Apolis and his wife Minnie, Mrs. Pelago and her husband Archie, Mrs. Tucky and her husband Ken, and finally Mr. Apagos and his gal.
Oh look, there's Loess. How gneiss.
Look now , it's Mrs. Ifax with her husband Hal, Ms. Chu-Picchu who's come with her Ma and Mr. Ho, accompanied by his wife Ida.
Will you all please welcome Mr and Mrs Luvialdeposits and their son Al.
And now prithee abase y'rselves before Mr & Mrs Ticline and their daughter Ann.
I see the working girls have arrived, or The Mendips, as we call them.
Please welcome Mrs. Jave and her husband Mo, Mr. Livia and his wfe Bo, Mrs. Bleland and her husband Ara, Mrs. Ora and her son and Ms. Kistan and her Pa.
Now arriving Mr. Ence and his wife Flo, Mrs. Inburgh and her husband Ed, Ms.Rdeen and her beau Abe, Mr. Mentaryrock and his wife Sadie, Ms. Acabana and her fiance- he's a cop, and Mrs. Islava with her fidgety, whining little boy - boy, is he a brat!
And also the twins Fergus and Rick, lazy as ever in their car!
Welcome now Ms. Ifornia and her husband Cal, Mrs Pinemeadow and her husband Al, Mrs. Ghazi and her husband Ben and Mrs. O'Mites with her little girl- she's such a little doll.
And just arriving are the Seilles clan, headed by their Mar, followed by Mr and Mrs Kjavik and their son Ray
Will you please welcome Mr and Mrs Ube and their son Dan.
Now arriving are Mr. Bai and his Mum, Mr. Rradelfuego and his lovely wife Tia, Mrs. Enhagen and her husband, he's a cop, and Mr. Gota, accompanied by his lovely wife Bo.
Oh look,here's Mona and co.
Please put your hands together for Mr and Mrs Bennettdidyoueverseesuchglaciatedlandforms and their son Gordon.
Ah, and her come Mrs.Buktu and her husband Tim, Mrs. Geria and her husband Al and Dr. Insula and his lovely wife Penelope, that's Pen to us all.
Mrs & Mrs Eria have brought their son Nige and their daughter Lib. And I see Mr Congo has completed his PhD, and is now DR Congo.
Please welcome Mr. Tinentaldrift and his son Con. Heralding the arrival of Mrs. Wan and her daughter Tai, sorry, the young lady is now married to Mr. Pei. Late as usual we have Mr. and Mrs. Skye and their lovely daughter Isla.
Here comes Mrs. Rocco, accompanied by her man Mo, Mr. Ablanca and his wife Cass, Mrs. Geria and her husband Al, and Mrs. Tius with her husband Maury.
And,arriving undercover - Q, keeper of spy gadgets for the IRA.
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