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Coming In During Dinner
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The count has been counted, Returning Officers have returned, and party rosettes have been trampled underfoot in the Town Hall Chamber at the end of election night.
Get your glad rags on for the Local Party Election Victory Ball at the Town Hall Ballroom, 7.30pm for 8pm, black tie, carriages at midnight. But there are bound to be one or two late-comers...
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Ah, here straight from Havana are Mrs. Jito and her husband Mo, followed by Mrs. D'Punch and her husband Spike.
Rita and her friend marge have just walked in, accompanied by Senor Colada and his wife Pina.
Please now welcome Ms. Bristolcream hand-in-hand with someone, whose hand is it she's holding? Oh yes, it's her brother Harvey's; and now here comes Mrs.Ishwhisky with her husband Ira.
Ach, please now welcome from Scotland Mrs. Dronach and her husband Glen and from Cork in Ireland Mrs. Sirishcream and her husband Bailey.
And now from Shanghai, its Mr. Chi who's here with his Auntie and looky here, its Mr. Aresco now arriving with his wife Barb.
Here's Ms. Ness with her fiancee from Marseilles Guy; followed by Mrs. Aner-Dunkelweisse and her husband Paul and from Quebec here come Mr.Sonlager and his wife Molly, affectionately known as Mol.
They're so cool- please now welcome Ms. Uminiumicebucket and her husband Al and Ms. Typroof and her pet poodle Fifi.
And from the Basque border of France in the Pyreeness, here are our distinguished guests, Madame Ouleguy-Cabernet and her Monseuir Ira
Maybe it's time for a new set? How about Late Arrivals to the Shakespeare Enthusiasts' Garden Soiree? Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our annual garden party felicitating the Bard of Avon! I am pleased to announce the arrival of Mrs. Ornottobe hand-in-hand with her little boy Toby, followed by her daughter Beth and husband Mac.
Please welcome Mr & Mrs Thefourthpartone and their son Henry. Not allowable, strictly, because the name is there already, but sod it.
Now arriving Mr. Trical and his wife Thea and Mr. Byanyothername and his wife Rose.
Please now welcome Mr. Enkranz with his wife, also named Rose, and Mrs. Iban with her husband Cal.
All the way from the BBC (Bogota Bard-lovers Circle) please welcome Senor Uscezar and his wife Juli
Here comes Mrs. DeMona and her husband, Desmond, who we better know as Des, and Mr. Wivesofwindsor with his wife Mary.
And now please welcome Col. Waretheides-O'March and wife Beatrice, who we know by her nicknmae Bea.
Look who's here! It's Dr. Stern and his lovely wife Guilda.
Please welcome Mr. Oftheshrew who's arrived with his Vietnamese fiancee, Tami Ng.
Closely followed by Mrs AssPoorYorick with her husband Al.
Ah, her comes Mr.O'Medes with his lovely wife Di
And what would this Midsummer Night's soiree be without them - please welcome Mr. Ryqueen and his enchanting wife Fay.
Now arriving, Ms. Morelovely and Ms.Moretemperate with their mutual friend Art and here's Mrs. Lock and her little daughter, oh she's so shy, as is Mrs. Budsofmay's little darling - they too have just walked in.
From Italy, please welcome Ms. Ofverona who's accompanied by two gentlemen, and now here come Mr. Tonio with his wife Ann, and his good friend Mr. Anio who's here with his wife Bess.
Please welcome Mr and Mrs LusandCressida with their son Troy, along with Mr and Mrs TersTale and their son Wyn.
And now, welcome Mrs. O'Lanus and her little boy Cory.
Announcing the arrival of Mrs. Iloquy and her huband Solomon, who's known to all and sundry as just Sol.
Please welcome Mrs. Ingdom-Forahorse and her husband Mike.
And now, sure to make a big splash - Mrs Turd and her husband Richard D.
And now, scaling the wall to get here, are Ms. Amusandthisbe and her lover boy Pierre.
Now let's give a well proportioned welcome to Mr. Sureformeasure and his wife May , Mrs. Net who's accompanied by her son and Mrs. Zabethan and her husband Eli.
Please welcome, on my left Mrs Gue and her husband Monty, and on my right Mrs Pulet with her consort Charles Anthony, known to all as C.A.
Here now are Mrs. Onofathens and husband Tim accompanied by Mrs. Cles and her son Perry.
Coming up from the cellar Mr and Mrs N KRANTS and their lovely daughter ROSE, closely followed by Mr STEIN who has just tipped me a GUILDER. (cheeky sod not even legal tender now!)
Another one, shall we...? Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen to the most earth shaking global event of the year- THE ANNUAL GEOGRAPHERS' BALL.
Please welcome Mrs. Amanca and her husband Sal, Mrs. Ya and her husband Ken, and all the way from Russia, Mrs. Ivostok and her husband Vlad.
And from the smallest EU member state, we are honoured with the presence of Ms Etta and her husband Val
Now arriving Mrs. Wa and her husband Otto, Mrs. Toba and her spouse Manny, Ms. Monton and her beau Ed and Mrs. Berta and her man Al.
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