arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
Cleri Who's Who
help
Four lines rhyming AABB - scansion, rhythm, metre and all that malarkey is as random as-u-like. Oh yes - the featured subject, usually a person, is mentioned in the first line.
Here's a full and frank(ly better) intro by Thos along with some that were made earlier.
arrow_circle_up
Dedicated his left bollock. (irach) That doesn't work because the stress is all wrong. The rhyme has to be with "Demsky".
Ebenezer Scrooge
Once went on a day-trip to Bruges
While Bob Cratchitt
Tried to get on the train there too, but made it to the station too late to catch it
Dr Barbara Moore
Her feet were sore
Some sources claim that she was a 'breatharian', though others assert that she lived on a diet of nuts and honey
Which is a bit funny.
Louis Quatorze
Was afflicted with sores
He ruled over France for soixante-douze years
Surrounded by queers
Ringo Starr
Walked into a bar
He went "Ouch!"
"Me pouch!".
Gilgamesh
Despaired of the flesh
But Siddhartha
Did not, just like the character from How Green Was My Valley, Cyfartha
Britney Spears *ducks flying furniture*
Pops a breast wherever she appears
Her deathgrip on the spotlight has grown tiresome to say the least
And is about time it ceased. It will when she is The Deceased.
Stephen Fry
Is so sly
Whereas, Hugh Laurie
is ever so sorry
Stephen Fry
Hosts QI
So Hugh Laurie
should do Corrie!

Sorry - couldn't resist
Peter Hain
Hoped in vain
He'd concealed his sources
Let's hope this scandal his resignation forces
Kevin Keegan oblig., but not an easy rhyme, I grant you.
Once dated a vegan poetic licence invoked
She wore a cardEEgan poetic license revoked
While he returned to a club for which he had once played and previously ran poetic licence provoked
Meryl Streep
Eeeeep!
Mind you, she's not bad for her age born same year as me
About 80, one would gauge.
[Software] I was expecting a line like "But Eric Sykes"...
Dustin Hoffman
Likes to dress in women's clothes quite often [CdM] Never mind.
While Robin Williams, in "Mrs. Doubtfire"
Wasn't nearly as enthusiastic about his female attire.
Freema Agyeman
This Doctor Who actress's bosom can hardly be described as saggy, man!
Certainly much more shapely than Peter Purves
And someone I'd quite like to service.
Valerie Singleton
Just can't keep her singlet on
But Abner Doubleday
Is not connected to her in any way
Kirsty Wark
Is like a hawk
As with a predatory look
Assuming (usually correctly) that the politician she's interviewing is a lying crook
The Archbishop Dr. Rowan
Has made many frowan
On the other hand, another Rowan, in his role of Mr. Bean
Has caused an equal number to griin
Ianto Jones
Is just one of Dr Who's clones
While the Angelic vampire
Is moonlighting in a male-voice choir
Apologies for cros posting - I would like to print up a poetry book (not to be read out) to use in a play. Details: www.dunx.org/cgi-bin/forum?forum=game00001&bookmark=20080215:170216&before=3&after=3

If responding, answer at Orange, not here. Thanks.

Merlyn Haven't had a round of nepotic ones for a bit.
Rushed in
Whereas Phil (Tuj) Don't you mean incestuous?
First wrote a will.
Juxtapose
Is good at prose
On the other hand, Phil
Has his verse down like a regimented drill
Chalky
Is not in the least bit porky
But Tuj
Likes his fudge.
Irach [phil] aww, thanks
Does not hail from Iraq AFAIK
Whereas Rosie
Around the world is known to mosey actually I'm from the U.S. by way of India, and my name rhymes with "catch".
Software
Likes to share
Especially with Kim
But that's him.
Bigsmith
Enjoys the flavor and texture of pith
On the other hand, Quendalon
Eats flesh 'till dawn.
blamelewis
Has not,to my knowledge, swum the Gulf of Suez
whereas if one looks closely, Juxtapose [irach] It's on my list for tomorrow, promise...
Has twelve toes.
Phil
Does his accounts with a quill Quaintness invoked.
While Merlyn
Drinks neat gin
Simons Mith
Has a cult following, and in some circles is considered a myth
The chief devotee of which is Irach lets try rhyming this one again (see above)
Who does so while eating a bacon batch Midlands dialect invoked for rhyming purposes.
Irouléguy
Penned a eulogy
Whereas rab
Irach] You're my besht mate - you are!
Found it drab
Projoy
Is goy?
Just ask Raak
He'll taalk.
Herr Bratsche
Does he sport a moustache?
Kim
Is he tall and slim? (Softers) Doesn't Bratsche rhyme with Thatcher, for his sins?
CdM
Masc. or fem.?
We may never know
He or she does, though.
mc5
Very much alive
But sadly, Mr Wild Pants
Interrupting flow -[Rosie] Yes, with German pronunciation, but he is from Brum, isn't he?
No longer hosts even our mild rants. He is, and plays the viola, Ger. die Bratsche. Man of your calibre, I dunno.
York
The MC server? Extinct like the great auk
Yorkies
Has gone walkies
MCiOS
Where Giant ants rarely try us
But Orange is still there
Though my visits are rare. (Raak) So you, like me, reckon it's half Scots, half Greek, viz Mc-Eye-oss.
[Rosie] I go with that, at least mentally. Part of the reason I set it was to see what the next person did!
Google
Sometimes requires a quick shoogle
While Magellan
Is quite strait.
Ask.dotcom
Goes down a bomb
But AltaVista
Does all sorts of inappropriate things with your sister.
ebay
Where you pay
Through PayPal
For illicit napal(m). Not v. good, but it's difficult.
Second Life
Where I met my wife
The best thing is that she is virtual
'Cos she'll hurt y'all.
WoW
As Kate Bush sang (and how!) (World of Wha..?)
CoH
Doh!
The Buddha
You mean the big fat buggah?
He weren't from Yorkshire
But try telling that to the young people today and they won't believe you - no sir! Regional pronunciation invoked
Noam Chomsky
Watched your mom ski
Whereas Karl Marx
Was buried in one of London's parks.
...Karl Marx
Opened a store with his brother Sparks
Whereas Harpo
Sings with the celestial choir as he plays his harp, oh!
Actor and gun-toter Charlton Heston
Played in many a Western
He liked guns, it would seem
And lots of Brylcreem.
Karl Marx and Charlton Heston
Suffered with indigestion
While Vladimir Lenin and Rock Hudson
Are, as far as is known, both unrelated to the Danish inventor of an ingenious type of vacuum gauge, and furthermore one which does not require calibration aginst a known standard, the gentleman in question being the one and only Martin Knudsen. I'm sure Vladimir Lenin played in goal for LiveSteamInjector Dnepopetrovsk in the '60s. The last few AVMA's have got me thinking there must be some kind of collective dementia in the air.
Noted lunatic Syd Barrett
Tried to grow a prize carrot
But when he took it to the local fayre [Rosie] 60's? When he was in the glass tank I presume then!
He, and it, were taken into care (Tuj) Nah, it was another Lenin (probably).

Could I ever-so-gently remind contributors that this is Clerihews, not Pea & honey Recipes.

Patrick Troughton
When not in a Tardis drove a 650 Norton
Whereas Jon Pertwee
In his Fiat 500, cared little whether or not people thought it were twee.
Jack Nicholson
Looses his cool with other road users and caves their windscreens in
This is where we have obtained the word "carjacker" from
And also "Nicholodium"
Renowned German mathematician Leonhardt Euler
Developed functions surrounding numeric squares because he mislaid his ruler
Unlike Michael Schumacher
Who always kept one on hand; when his female assistant mis-solved those complex theorems, he'd whack her.
It's nice, but doesn't "Euler" rhyme with "boiler"?
Plummy voiced art critic Brian Sewell [Kim] I'm afraid I've still only got a provisional poetic licence :o)
Would like to douse modern art with lighter fuel
And had he been born a hundred years earlier, he would have wanted to take Brasso
When he saw the works of Picasso.
Superman
"That's what he thinks" says multi-tasking super wo - man More fun with Brian Sewell
When struck by red kryptonite
He goes out like a light
Humphrey Lyttleton, jazz trumpeter and host of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue
Who?
Ah, I posted that before I learned the news that he had died. Let me restart Phil's tribute.
Phil - Humphrey Lyttleton, jazz trumpeter and host of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue
His passing all will rue
In the Morniverse there will be a hole
For one who played with soul.
Madonna
(Blessings be upon her)
Fondled Britney
Very quickly.
Ronnie O'Sullivan
Has, apparently, as foul a mouth as the late Philip Larkin, but the similarity ends there as he does not live in Hull, even Brevity is soul of wit, blah, blah, blah, but WTF am I supposed to do with this? grumble, rage, fume.
So he takes 'medication' [Rosie] I knew you'd rise to the challenge :-)
For the sensation.
Steve Davis
His wife's called Mavis (Chalky) Course you did, m'dear.
If you'll bring me her head
I'll kill you dead.
Alfredo Garcia
Lives in fear
That he will lose his head, like Marie Antoinette or the Baptist, John
Or worse, that he'll be played in the remake by Vince Vaughn
Sid Vicious
So meretricious
Sang about anarchy
Which made the BBC rather panicky
Fred Bloggs
Had two dogs
While that Damon guy- with the first name Matt
Had acquired a taste for Baltic sprat
Lloyd George
Saw Cheddar Gorge
Daily
Unlike Disraeli [CdM] I presume that's what you had in mind.
Golda Meir
Was told, "stay 'ere!"
But she moved instead to Palestine
Which is known more for milk and honey than sherry or wine
Walid Jumblatt
Auditioned for Take That
As did Tony Blair
Back when he had more hair
John Terry
Is currently feeling somewhat less than merry
While Avram Grant
Heard his final chant

- and flippin' disgraceful behaviour all round from the owner and fans. Surprised you haven't mentioned it, Rosie.
Mary Whitehouse
Liked Dangermouse
While Amy Winehouse
Has hair in which one might not be surprised to findamouse
William Butler Yeats
Was descended from Geats
While Bill Gates
Is one of Henry VIII's.
Ezra Pound
So profound
Ogden Nash
Cut a different dash.
Dr. Seuss
Was once known to have taken the services of a buxom masseuse
The Cat in the Hat
Went one step further than that!
Ho Chi Minh
Subsisted solely upon a diet of shark's fin
While Nguyen Van Thieu
Such delicacies did eschew. Is any of this true, I wonder?
Arnold Schwarzenegger [Rosie] You mean that one, or the whole gamesworth?
Faced with a gigantic budget deficit in Califiornia is a governor-turned beggar
So sooner or later
He will no longer be the Gubernator.
Luiz Felipe Scolari [Raak] good one made I larf
Is well known in the realms of Footballary
Whilst his predecessor Avram Grant
Tries to find a job, and can't. Bring back Chopper Harris, I say.
Immanuel Kant
Did a lot of introspection during a decade when he didn't rant
His Critiques, Practical and Pure
, Endure.
Take That
Will get old and fat
Until relighting the fire
Is performed under their funeral pyre
Laszlo Biro
Perhaps inspired the Spanish artist Joan Miró
While Walter A. Sheaffer
Supplied Jules Feiffer.
Wendy Alexander
Scratch-voiced gift demander
"Bring it on!" she said
And killed the game dead
And with, that, let us utter the magic Mornington Crescent words, for though Clerihews are always fun, this game has been running for a long long time, and it is time to shake things up around here.
Audience
shouts, screams, generally goes wild for CdM
I think the audience should cheer for MC5 as a whole. This turned into a really good staple, long-running game.
Shall we?

Julian Paul Assange
Said "publish and be dammed"
But he didn't foresee
What the outcome could be.
Chelsea Manning
Now into fake tanning
Formerly Bradley,
Self-styles badly.
Kevin Rudd
Too Australcentric? OK
Edward Snowden
Showed 'em
Too much information
'Bout his nation.
David Miliband
Unlike Blair, did not play in a silly band
His brother Ed
Should have been leader instead.
Gareth Bale oblig.
Is beyond the pale [Raak] Steve, surely?
With that amount of money
His financial outlook could reasonably be described as sunny. revivalism...
Bashar al-Assad
Had
Some isopropyl methylphosphonofluoridate
Which he used in manner profligate
Vladmir Putin
Hardly high-falutin' S. Wales pronunciation invoked.
Hidden text(Softers) Do disapproving Frenchmen have some fun with his name, ce putain?
Is surprisingly camp
Hidden textRosie - The French spell it Poutine, rather disappointingly.
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord