arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
Cleri Who's Who
help
Four lines rhyming AABB - scansion, rhythm, metre and all that malarkey is as random as-u-like. Oh yes - the featured subject, usually a person, is mentioned in the first line.
Here's a full and frank(ly better) intro by Thos along with some that were made earlier.
arrow_circle_up
Perhaps he'll marry another man
's wife like his dad did - because he can...
The Reds' Daniel Agger
Can walk with a swagger. Expect Rosie to be less than full of praise...
As Rafa approaches the final with glasses tinted rosé
Let his team get slaughtered and be full of woes - eh? Nice try, Phil :-)
Old Mother Goose
Had a number of flings with a number of ganders and was therefore considered in avian circles to be quite loose
Old Father Gander
Was also known to philander
Phil
Likes to think of himself as a curmudgeon who, while not old, could be said to be in view of the top of the hill
Whereas I
Don't even have to try ;-)
Domenico Scarlatti (Pj) I can still just about see the hill, I'll have you know, young man. ;-)
Was famously catty:
In Rome, he was judged to be a better harpsichordist than Handel
[Rosie] That's me, waving curmudgeonly, from the top of the hill
To whom Haydn couldn't hold a candle.
Brian Sewell (Phil) Curmudgeonly is an adjective. You were waving curmudgeonlyly. It was obvious. :-)
Is not very cooel
But he doesn't care [Rosie] Curmudgeonously perhaps? Curmudgeonlyly is just silly :P
As long as he can pontificate about art made of pubic hair [Rosie/Tuj] It'd be curmudgeonlily anyway.
Niccolo Paganini
Didn't write itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-yellow-polka-dot-bikini
He did, perhaps, have double-jointed fingers [Rosie et al] curmudgeonly is also listed by the OED as an adverb with the qualification that it is rare. Perhaps curmudgeonrily might be a better adverb, as it's based on the act of being a curmudgeon.
More use to him than to singers. Invoking The North.
Jacques Chirac
He won't be back
But Nicolas Sarkozy
Finds the presidential throne cozy.
Ségolène Royal
Was brought up in the Transvaal
Not, as some believe, in the Witwatersrand
Which is where Jacques Chirac was born, on the other hand.
Damon Hill
When he parted company with Williams, the feeling was ill
Now he's older, he's feeling better
But tends to try and keep it a secret that he is still a bed-wetter
Damon Runyan
(or Runyon)
Often went to a corner stand in Times Square, Manhattan to buy a hot dog topped with mustard, relish and onion
But Mickey Spillane
Found if he did that, he'd quickly see that hot dog again.
Doctor Beeching
Close the branch-lines was his teaching
Unfortunately, this reduced the traffic on main lines too
Oh, poo.
Peter Hain
Just can't explain
That probably says it all
Which causes this clerihew to stall
MP for Barking, Margaret Hodge
Spends here evenings in a sweat lodge
Wheras the late Enoch Powell
Would stand naked in the moonlight and howl
Germaine Greer
is near
Enough a feminist to make no difference
And that statement would make her take offence
George Bush's brother Jeb
smokes Red Leb
But nobody really cares
About his heady airs.
Former First Lady, Hillary Clinton
If elected President, promises to outlaw Badminton
Her attitude to tennis
Is nothing short of menace ... using one of the FEW remaining rhymes...swiftly moving on.....
Humph
Takes one lumph
While Samantha, Colin and Sven
Eaach take ten
The late Princess Di
She and Prince Charles didn't always see eye-to-eye
But she played the doey eyed wounded princess role very well
Until she became an adulteress and went to hell (possibly)
Satan
Can be utterly infuriatin'
He can be as nasty as hell
As well.
Saint Peter
Could be neater
While Saint Paul
Wrote to all
Lord Coe
Lately unveiled a logo that was no go.
It looks like Lisa Simpson giving head
It'll probably kill the London Olympics stone dead.
Nebuchadnezzar, King of the Jews
Tossed Shadrach, Meshach and Abednago into the furnace and lit the fuse
Though technically he was really king of Babylon
And a drug addict, and in rehab belong. (Softers) Don't make it easy, do you, you bastard. -:)
Jeff Stryker
Are we referring to the one who is a porn star or the one who is a writer?
Whenever he has writer's block (candidating for feedline of the month)
He can at least be thankful that he doesn't have to resort to improving the contour of his trousers with the aid of a sock.
Lewis Hamilton
Is looking sick, ill, wan [Kim] At least it wasn't Helen Mirren.
Still, he is pretty quick
Goes at quite a lick.
Lady Hamilton, Horatio's lover
Has never been pictured on a heavy metal album cover
Horatio's lover, Lady Hamilton
Lived with him on Menorca near Mahon
Johnny Briggs
Collects outrageous wigs
His brother wrote The Snowman
While Johnny appeared in Man About the House as a Milkman
Johnny Depp
Sexy? Yep.
Vanessa Paradis
Sexy? Oui.
George Melly
Was far too rarely on the telly
Unlike Roger Mellie
Who also had a slightly smaller belly
J K Rowling
All the way to the bank she is surely laughing
Her boy-wizard character, Harry Potter
Does not die after all, but goes off to be a train-spotter
... So "Rowling" rhymes with "laughing". You learn something new every day. [UK] You'll be in trouble if that's the real ending.
Rin Tin Tin
Drinks gin
While Lassie [IS,P] Bovvered? Does this face look bovvered?
Had more the ascetic habits of the late Haile Selassie.
Johannes Brahms
His lullaby is reknowned because it is so soothing, and it calms
While Franz Liszt
Is the ideal music to listen to while being kissed
Fernando Alonso
His passion other than racing is watching a video of Ronald Reagan's movie classic "Bedtime for Bonzo"
Whereas Michael Shumacher
Is a big fan of trad jazz - Chris Barber, Humph and Acker
Johnson, Boris of that ilk
Will do just about anything for attention, in fact as much as he can milk
Because his hair
Is always there
Bono
Oh, God, no
His conscience he parades
Whilst wearing dodgy shades
Adrian Chiles
Runs for miles
Where he goes
No-one knows
Amy Winehouse
Ruined a perfectly fine blouse
Whereas Nana Mouskouri
Spilled red wine on hers, but did not mind as it was woven from cheap dhurrie
James Watt
Got very hot
While Richard Trevethick
Was equally calorific. (Softers) I'm sure it's Trevithick
Alexander Graham Bell
Entered into a long legal dispute with another well known inventor about who owned the patent on the device and whether it was theirs to sell
But Bell eventually emerged victorious
His persistence being notorious.
Samuel Pepys
frequently ate haggis with tatties and neeps
Which explains why his physique was anything but wiry
But clearly this corpulence didn't stop him writing in his diary
Robinson Crusoe
Read the works of Rousseau
Strangely Robinson's surname ended in the same two letters as that of his creator, Daniel Defoe
Whose greatest work, namely Robinson Crusoe, was the only permitted reading up to the age of twelve for the eponymous Emile in what is considered to be the first bildungsroman, concidentally written by Rousseau.
Robin Hood
Sure would
Belittle John and fry a duck
That he stole from the rich, in order to give it to those with less luck
Daffy Duck
Was never one for offending others with rhyme for the sake of a cheap laugh, as in his own words, "that would thuck"
Whereas the late lamented James Hunt
Has been replaced in rhyming slang by James Blunt
Neil Young
Made recordings with Crosby, Stills and Nash
cont:- for a bung Need to open a new packet of fingers ...
While Stuart Sutcliffe, the lost Beatle
Had rarely sung.
Boris Johnson
Is more concerned with EU directives on Jams, Jellies and Preserves than watching old movies starring Charles Bronson
While "Red" Ken Livingstone
Will call his autobigraphy "The Story of the Stone"
o
Mr. T
Last seen driving a Chieftain tank through a wall in a Snickers advert (and I have no idea if it actually was a Chieftain tank, that was just guesswork, so if I'm wrong, please don't have a go at me)
Has adopted the catch-phrase "I pity 'da fool!", despite the fact that this was merely a line of dialogue in Rocky III by his character Clubber Lang
But that's his thang. Brevity, soul of wit, mutter mutter...
Nicolas Sarkozy A challenger appears!
When confronted by his estranged wife about payments of alimony, likes to scurry away, or mosey
But never afraid of the media nor the power of political spin
A latter-day sin.
John Culshaw
Did you mean John or Jon, nobody can be completely sure
Well, someone could try to say something that could be applicable to either
Which of the cheerful pair is blither?
Sarah Brightman
Took another toke on the spliff, giggled, and said "I've just missed my flight, man" allegedly
Whereas milord Webber, her ex
Looked past all her giggling and toking on the spliff and used her for sex
Fred Truman
(Do you mean Fred Trueman, the Yorkshire cricketeer bowler, known best for the speed at which he threw, man?)
(I don't know what a cricketeer-bowler is, but I think he means the late, great Fred Trueman, Yorkshire and England fast bowler)
Whose deliveries described a para-bola. (irach) Did you ever see him? As far from a chucker as you can get.
Gordon Ramsay
But Boy George Alan O'Dowd
Is, but is unbowed.
Reginald Kenneth Dwight
Now a knight Queen, more likely.
But as Elton John he is much better known
In both his music, and in his choice of flamboyant clothing he has shone
Robert Zimmerman
Would be blowing in the wind if he were a much slimmer man
The times are a changin', though, like Bob himself when he legally became Mr. "Dylan"
As was the case with the late Lord Stockton, formerly known as Harold MacMillan. Brevity, a virtue posessed by those of a laconic nature and who wish to illustrate a point of view with some pungency regardless of the fact that on occasions a degree of offence may be taken by persons of excessive sensitivity, is the soul of wit.
Harry Webb
While on a summer holiday, met a young lady, Debra Byrne, whom he affectionately called Deb
Whereas Norma Jean Baker
Was ne'er a Quaker
Marion Robert Morrison
No rednecks here, sorry, son.
Whereas Roy Harold Scherer
Being gay, shunned the sex that is generally regarded as being fairer
Fingal O'Flaherty Wills
Sought a life of varied sexual thrills
Whereas Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr, in contrast stark
Got his Rocky Mountan highs by singing in the dark
Archibald Alec Leach
Strayed far from Severn Beach
But Issur Danielovitch Demsky
Kills clerihews stone dead. 5 days is long enough.
[Rosie]"Once took his son Michael Douglas and his other kids to Gstaad to watch 'em ski " is one line that would work.
Salvador Dali
Doted over Kali (Or "Kills clerihews stone deadsky.")
To whom Jackson Pollock nice easy one
Dedicated his left bollock. (irach) That doesn't work because the stress is all wrong. The rhyme has to be with "Demsky".
Ebenezer Scrooge
Once went on a day-trip to Bruges
While Bob Cratchitt
Tried to get on the train there too, but made it to the station too late to catch it
Dr Barbara Moore
Her feet were sore
Some sources claim that she was a 'breatharian', though others assert that she lived on a diet of nuts and honey
Which is a bit funny.
Louis Quatorze
Was afflicted with sores
He ruled over France for soixante-douze years
Surrounded by queers
Ringo Starr
Walked into a bar
He went "Ouch!"
"Me pouch!".
Gilgamesh
Despaired of the flesh
But Siddhartha
Did not, just like the character from How Green Was My Valley, Cyfartha
Britney Spears *ducks flying furniture*
Pops a breast wherever she appears
Her deathgrip on the spotlight has grown tiresome to say the least
And is about time it ceased. It will when she is The Deceased.
Stephen Fry
Is so sly
Whereas, Hugh Laurie
is ever so sorry
Stephen Fry
Hosts QI
So Hugh Laurie
should do Corrie!

Sorry - couldn't resist
Peter Hain
Hoped in vain
He'd concealed his sources
Let's hope this scandal his resignation forces
Kevin Keegan oblig., but not an easy rhyme, I grant you.
Once dated a vegan poetic licence invoked
She wore a cardEEgan poetic license revoked
While he returned to a club for which he had once played and previously ran poetic licence provoked
Meryl Streep
Eeeeep!
Mind you, she's not bad for her age born same year as me
About 80, one would gauge.
[Software] I was expecting a line like "But Eric Sykes"...
Dustin Hoffman
Likes to dress in women's clothes quite often [CdM] Never mind.
While Robin Williams, in "Mrs. Doubtfire"
Wasn't nearly as enthusiastic about his female attire.
Freema Agyeman
This Doctor Who actress's bosom can hardly be described as saggy, man!
Certainly much more shapely than Peter Purves
And someone I'd quite like to service.
Valerie Singleton
Just can't keep her singlet on
But Abner Doubleday
Is not connected to her in any way
Kirsty Wark
Is like a hawk
As with a predatory look
Assuming (usually correctly) that the politician she's interviewing is a lying crook
The Archbishop Dr. Rowan
Has made many frowan
On the other hand, another Rowan, in his role of Mr. Bean
Has caused an equal number to griin
Ianto Jones
Is just one of Dr Who's clones
While the Angelic vampire
Is moonlighting in a male-voice choir
Apologies for cros posting - I would like to print up a poetry book (not to be read out) to use in a play. Details: www.dunx.org/cgi-bin/forum?forum=game00001&bookmark=20080215:170216&before=3&after=3

If responding, answer at Orange, not here. Thanks.

Merlyn Haven't had a round of nepotic ones for a bit.
Rushed in
Whereas Phil (Tuj) Don't you mean incestuous?
First wrote a will.
Juxtapose
Is good at prose
On the other hand, Phil
Has his verse down like a regimented drill
Chalky
Is not in the least bit porky
But Tuj
Likes his fudge.
Irach [phil] aww, thanks
Does not hail from Iraq AFAIK
Whereas Rosie
Around the world is known to mosey actually I'm from the U.S. by way of India, and my name rhymes with "catch".
Software
Likes to share
Especially with Kim
But that's him.
Bigsmith
Enjoys the flavor and texture of pith
On the other hand, Quendalon
Eats flesh 'till dawn.
blamelewis
Has not,to my knowledge, swum the Gulf of Suez
whereas if one looks closely, Juxtapose [irach] It's on my list for tomorrow, promise...
Has twelve toes.
Phil
Does his accounts with a quill Quaintness invoked.
While Merlyn
Drinks neat gin
Simons Mith
Has a cult following, and in some circles is considered a myth
The chief devotee of which is Irach lets try rhyming this one again (see above)
Who does so while eating a bacon batch Midlands dialect invoked for rhyming purposes.
Irouléguy
Penned a eulogy
Whereas rab
Irach] You're my besht mate - you are!
Found it drab
Projoy
Is goy?
Just ask Raak
He'll taalk.
Herr Bratsche
Does he sport a moustache?
Kim
Is he tall and slim? (Softers) Doesn't Bratsche rhyme with Thatcher, for his sins?
CdM
Masc. or fem.?
We may never know
He or she does, though.
mc5
Very much alive
But sadly, Mr Wild Pants
Interrupting flow -[Rosie] Yes, with German pronunciation, but he is from Brum, isn't he?
No longer hosts even our mild rants. He is, and plays the viola, Ger. die Bratsche. Man of your calibre, I dunno.
York
The MC server? Extinct like the great auk
Yorkies
Has gone walkies
MCiOS
Where Giant ants rarely try us
But Orange is still there
Though my visits are rare. (Raak) So you, like me, reckon it's half Scots, half Greek, viz Mc-Eye-oss.
[Rosie] I go with that, at least mentally. Part of the reason I set it was to see what the next person did!
Google
Sometimes requires a quick shoogle
While Magellan
Is quite strait.
Ask.dotcom
Goes down a bomb
But AltaVista
Does all sorts of inappropriate things with your sister.
ebay
Where you pay
Through PayPal
For illicit napal(m). Not v. good, but it's difficult.
Second Life
Where I met my wife
The best thing is that she is virtual
'Cos she'll hurt y'all.
WoW
As Kate Bush sang (and how!) (World of Wha..?)
CoH
Doh!
The Buddha
You mean the big fat buggah?
He weren't from Yorkshire
But try telling that to the young people today and they won't believe you - no sir! Regional pronunciation invoked
Noam Chomsky
Watched your mom ski
Whereas Karl Marx
Was buried in one of London's parks.
...Karl Marx
Opened a store with his brother Sparks
Whereas Harpo
Sings with the celestial choir as he plays his harp, oh!
Actor and gun-toter Charlton Heston
Played in many a Western
He liked guns, it would seem
And lots of Brylcreem.
Karl Marx and Charlton Heston
Suffered with indigestion
While Vladimir Lenin and Rock Hudson
Are, as far as is known, both unrelated to the Danish inventor of an ingenious type of vacuum gauge, and furthermore one which does not require calibration aginst a known standard, the gentleman in question being the one and only Martin Knudsen. I'm sure Vladimir Lenin played in goal for LiveSteamInjector Dnepopetrovsk in the '60s. The last few AVMA's have got me thinking there must be some kind of collective dementia in the air.
Noted lunatic Syd Barrett
Tried to grow a prize carrot
But when he took it to the local fayre [Rosie] 60's? When he was in the glass tank I presume then!
He, and it, were taken into care (Tuj) Nah, it was another Lenin (probably).

Could I ever-so-gently remind contributors that this is Clerihews, not Pea & honey Recipes.

Patrick Troughton
When not in a Tardis drove a 650 Norton
Whereas Jon Pertwee
In his Fiat 500, cared little whether or not people thought it were twee.
Jack Nicholson
Looses his cool with other road users and caves their windscreens in
This is where we have obtained the word "carjacker" from
And also "Nicholodium"
Renowned German mathematician Leonhardt Euler
Developed functions surrounding numeric squares because he mislaid his ruler
Unlike Michael Schumacher
Who always kept one on hand; when his female assistant mis-solved those complex theorems, he'd whack her.
It's nice, but doesn't "Euler" rhyme with "boiler"?
Plummy voiced art critic Brian Sewell [Kim] I'm afraid I've still only got a provisional poetic licence :o)
Would like to douse modern art with lighter fuel
And had he been born a hundred years earlier, he would have wanted to take Brasso
When he saw the works of Picasso.
Superman
"That's what he thinks" says multi-tasking super wo - man More fun with Brian Sewell
When struck by red kryptonite
He goes out like a light
Humphrey Lyttleton, jazz trumpeter and host of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue
Who?
Ah, I posted that before I learned the news that he had died. Let me restart Phil's tribute.
Phil - Humphrey Lyttleton, jazz trumpeter and host of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue
His passing all will rue
In the Morniverse there will be a hole
For one who played with soul.
Madonna
(Blessings be upon her)
Fondled Britney
Very quickly.
Ronnie O'Sullivan
Has, apparently, as foul a mouth as the late Philip Larkin, but the similarity ends there as he does not live in Hull, even Brevity is soul of wit, blah, blah, blah, but WTF am I supposed to do with this? grumble, rage, fume.
So he takes 'medication' [Rosie] I knew you'd rise to the challenge :-)
For the sensation.
Steve Davis
His wife's called Mavis (Chalky) Course you did, m'dear.
If you'll bring me her head
I'll kill you dead.
Alfredo Garcia
Lives in fear
That he will lose his head, like Marie Antoinette or the Baptist, John
Or worse, that he'll be played in the remake by Vince Vaughn
Sid Vicious
So meretricious
Sang about anarchy
Which made the BBC rather panicky
Fred Bloggs
Had two dogs
While that Damon guy- with the first name Matt
Had acquired a taste for Baltic sprat
Lloyd George
Saw Cheddar Gorge
Daily
Unlike Disraeli [CdM] I presume that's what you had in mind.
Golda Meir
Was told, "stay 'ere!"
But she moved instead to Palestine
Which is known more for milk and honey than sherry or wine
Walid Jumblatt
Auditioned for Take That
As did Tony Blair
Back when he had more hair
John Terry
Is currently feeling somewhat less than merry
While Avram Grant
Heard his final chant

- and flippin' disgraceful behaviour all round from the owner and fans. Surprised you haven't mentioned it, Rosie.
Mary Whitehouse
Liked Dangermouse
While Amy Winehouse
Has hair in which one might not be surprised to findamouse
William Butler Yeats
Was descended from Geats
While Bill Gates
Is one of Henry VIII's.
Ezra Pound
So profound
Ogden Nash
Cut a different dash.
Dr. Seuss
Was once known to have taken the services of a buxom masseuse
The Cat in the Hat
Went one step further than that!
Ho Chi Minh
Subsisted solely upon a diet of shark's fin
While Nguyen Van Thieu
Such delicacies did eschew. Is any of this true, I wonder?
Arnold Schwarzenegger [Rosie] You mean that one, or the whole gamesworth?
Faced with a gigantic budget deficit in Califiornia is a governor-turned beggar
So sooner or later
He will no longer be the Gubernator.
Luiz Felipe Scolari [Raak] good one made I larf
Is well known in the realms of Footballary
Whilst his predecessor Avram Grant
Tries to find a job, and can't. Bring back Chopper Harris, I say.
Immanuel Kant
Did a lot of introspection during a decade when he didn't rant
His Critiques, Practical and Pure
, Endure.
Take That
Will get old and fat
Until relighting the fire
Is performed under their funeral pyre
Laszlo Biro
Perhaps inspired the Spanish artist Joan Miró
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord