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Cleri Who's Who
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Four lines rhyming AABB - scansion, rhythm, metre and all that malarkey is as random as-u-like. Oh yes - the featured subject, usually a person, is mentioned in the first line.
Here's a full and frank(ly better) intro by Thos along with some that were made earlier.
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Collects outrageous wigs
His brother wrote The Snowman
While Johnny appeared in Man About the House as a Milkman
Johnny Depp
Sexy? Yep.
Vanessa Paradis
Sexy? Oui.
George Melly
Was far too rarely on the telly
Unlike Roger Mellie
Who also had a slightly smaller belly
J K Rowling
All the way to the bank she is surely laughing
Her boy-wizard character, Harry Potter
Does not die after all, but goes off to be a train-spotter
... So "Rowling" rhymes with "laughing". You learn something new every day. [UK] You'll be in trouble if that's the real ending.
Rin Tin Tin
Drinks gin
While Lassie [IS,P] Bovvered? Does this face look bovvered?
Had more the ascetic habits of the late Haile Selassie.
Johannes Brahms
His lullaby is reknowned because it is so soothing, and it calms
While Franz Liszt
Is the ideal music to listen to while being kissed
Fernando Alonso
His passion other than racing is watching a video of Ronald Reagan's movie classic "Bedtime for Bonzo"
Whereas Michael Shumacher
Is a big fan of trad jazz - Chris Barber, Humph and Acker
Johnson, Boris of that ilk
Will do just about anything for attention, in fact as much as he can milk
Because his hair
Is always there
Bono
Oh, God, no
His conscience he parades
Whilst wearing dodgy shades
Adrian Chiles
Runs for miles
Where he goes
No-one knows
Amy Winehouse
Ruined a perfectly fine blouse
Whereas Nana Mouskouri
Spilled red wine on hers, but did not mind as it was woven from cheap dhurrie
James Watt
Got very hot
While Richard Trevethick
Was equally calorific. (Softers) I'm sure it's Trevithick
Alexander Graham Bell
Entered into a long legal dispute with another well known inventor about who owned the patent on the device and whether it was theirs to sell
But Bell eventually emerged victorious
His persistence being notorious.
Samuel Pepys
frequently ate haggis with tatties and neeps
Which explains why his physique was anything but wiry
But clearly this corpulence didn't stop him writing in his diary
Robinson Crusoe
Read the works of Rousseau
Strangely Robinson's surname ended in the same two letters as that of his creator, Daniel Defoe
Whose greatest work, namely Robinson Crusoe, was the only permitted reading up to the age of twelve for the eponymous Emile in what is considered to be the first bildungsroman, concidentally written by Rousseau.
Robin Hood
Sure would
Belittle John and fry a duck
That he stole from the rich, in order to give it to those with less luck
Daffy Duck
Was never one for offending others with rhyme for the sake of a cheap laugh, as in his own words, "that would thuck"
Whereas the late lamented James Hunt
Has been replaced in rhyming slang by James Blunt
Neil Young
Made recordings with Crosby, Stills and Nash
cont:- for a bung Need to open a new packet of fingers ...
While Stuart Sutcliffe, the lost Beatle
Had rarely sung.
Boris Johnson
Is more concerned with EU directives on Jams, Jellies and Preserves than watching old movies starring Charles Bronson
While "Red" Ken Livingstone
Will call his autobigraphy "The Story of the Stone"
o
Mr. T
Last seen driving a Chieftain tank through a wall in a Snickers advert (and I have no idea if it actually was a Chieftain tank, that was just guesswork, so if I'm wrong, please don't have a go at me)
Has adopted the catch-phrase "I pity 'da fool!", despite the fact that this was merely a line of dialogue in Rocky III by his character Clubber Lang
But that's his thang. Brevity, soul of wit, mutter mutter...
Nicolas Sarkozy A challenger appears!
When confronted by his estranged wife about payments of alimony, likes to scurry away, or mosey
But never afraid of the media nor the power of political spin
A latter-day sin.
John Culshaw
Did you mean John or Jon, nobody can be completely sure
Well, someone could try to say something that could be applicable to either
Which of the cheerful pair is blither?
Sarah Brightman
Took another toke on the spliff, giggled, and said "I've just missed my flight, man" allegedly
Whereas milord Webber, her ex
Looked past all her giggling and toking on the spliff and used her for sex
Fred Truman
(Do you mean Fred Trueman, the Yorkshire cricketeer bowler, known best for the speed at which he threw, man?)
(I don't know what a cricketeer-bowler is, but I think he means the late, great Fred Trueman, Yorkshire and England fast bowler)
Whose deliveries described a para-bola. (irach) Did you ever see him? As far from a chucker as you can get.
Gordon Ramsay
But Boy George Alan O'Dowd
Is, but is unbowed.
Reginald Kenneth Dwight
Now a knight Queen, more likely.
But as Elton John he is much better known
In both his music, and in his choice of flamboyant clothing he has shone
Robert Zimmerman
Would be blowing in the wind if he were a much slimmer man
The times are a changin', though, like Bob himself when he legally became Mr. "Dylan"
As was the case with the late Lord Stockton, formerly known as Harold MacMillan. Brevity, a virtue posessed by those of a laconic nature and who wish to illustrate a point of view with some pungency regardless of the fact that on occasions a degree of offence may be taken by persons of excessive sensitivity, is the soul of wit.
Harry Webb
While on a summer holiday, met a young lady, Debra Byrne, whom he affectionately called Deb
Whereas Norma Jean Baker
Was ne'er a Quaker
Marion Robert Morrison
No rednecks here, sorry, son.
Whereas Roy Harold Scherer
Being gay, shunned the sex that is generally regarded as being fairer
Fingal O'Flaherty Wills
Sought a life of varied sexual thrills
Whereas Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr, in contrast stark
Got his Rocky Mountan highs by singing in the dark
Archibald Alec Leach
Strayed far from Severn Beach
But Issur Danielovitch Demsky
Kills clerihews stone dead. 5 days is long enough.
[Rosie]"Once took his son Michael Douglas and his other kids to Gstaad to watch 'em ski " is one line that would work.
Salvador Dali
Doted over Kali (Or "Kills clerihews stone deadsky.")
To whom Jackson Pollock nice easy one
Dedicated his left bollock. (irach) That doesn't work because the stress is all wrong. The rhyme has to be with "Demsky".
Ebenezer Scrooge
Once went on a day-trip to Bruges
While Bob Cratchitt
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