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Cleri Who's Who
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Four lines rhyming AABB - scansion, rhythm, metre and all that malarkey is as random as-u-like. Oh yes - the featured subject, usually a person, is mentioned in the first line.
Here's a full and frank(ly better) intro by Thos along with some that were made earlier.
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Whose 25th birthday is in six days (June 27) is a good sportsman and quite a neat person
But he's no Andrew Flintoff
Neither will he have quite the political impact of Dom Mintoff. Thank God that one's over. :-(
Attila the Hun
Was a bundle of fun
His passion for terror
Left his men no margin for error
Charles de Gaulle
Was incredibly tall
"Après moi le déluge"
But it was Pompidou, his stooge.
Inspector Clouseau
Would practice judo
And Robinson Crusoe
Knew so.
Sir Christopher Wren
Has done it again
St. Paul's
Enthralls.
Theophilus Monk
Argued images are not junk (St. Theophilus, persecuted for defending the veneration of holy icons.)
But Leo the Isaurian
Rose to be an 8th century Byzantine Emperor through his prowess in the military, though it's uncertain whether he was ever a centurion
Sylvester Stallone
Has a voice like an agonised moan
Whereas Arnold Schwarzenegger
Is just a noisy beggar.
Harold Wilson
Never did date model Glenda Gilson (www.assetsmodels.com/female_models.php?model=19&i=6 - )
Neither, one strongly suspects, did his successor Edward Heath
Who is thought to have had a thing for Yasmine Bleeth.
David Hasselhoff
Told the residents of Basel off
For selling him a faulty signature line Mel Tormé "Swatch"
They offered him some scotch.
Batman begins
Almost as fast as Hurricane Higgins It's easy rhyme day, I see...
But cartoon mouse Speedy Gonzalez (Andele, Andele! Arriba, Arriba!))
fortunately frequents the bar less.
Katie Holmes
Allegedly prefers shorter men and gnomes
This predeliction
Surely must be fiction.
Speilberg's interpretation of War Of the Worlds
Makes your hair stand on end and straightens out your curls
While the 1938 broadcast by Orson Wells
Let loose all Hells.
Alfred Hitchcock
set his alarm clock [Software] that's Welles, please.
To a time that remains a mystery - invoking blindingly obvious feed-rhyme
The rest is history, Happy to oblige, Chalks
Boutros Boutros-Ghali
Is fluent in Bengali
This should serve him well
But who can tell?
Bob Geldof
Thinks the world of
Catherine Zeta-Jones (as so many do)
He'd like to jump her bones.
Stephen Fry
What a guy!
A prince, a pearl, a polymath
But not (as far as is known) an osteopath
Groucho Marx
enjoyed his larks
While brother Harpo
Parodied the Gestapo.
Leif the Lucky, viking gent
Gave up mead and strong ale for Lent
But Hagar the Horrible, contrarily
Continued to indulge, keeping it from Helga, warily.
Edward Heath inevitably
On losing the leadership of the Conservative Party to Margaret Thatcher was for the rest of his life fed up to back teeth
But, nevertheless, enjoyed his sailing
That is, when he wasn't bailing.
Ken Livingstone Nice one, Rosie
With his Estuarine drone
As Mayor of London
Has left a lot undone.
Former Transport Minister Stephen Byers
Hoped to impose a tax on frequent flyers
And on railways he told porkies
Hoping that we'd all go walkies
Franz Liszt
For all we know may well have met Johannes Brahms in Vienna and got pissed
Whereas, when he encountered Johann Strauss
He had the presence of mind not to ask about his latest spouse.
The noble canine Lassie *wince*
Was played in the movies by male dogs as bitches were far too sassy.
While Toto in "The Wizard of Oz"
Didn't care which sex it was. So they say.
Elizabeth Arden
Laces her cosmetics with 2-chloro-3-ethoxyphenyl-5-methylparaben
Which makes her lippy shiny
But has the side-effect of making sipped coffee taste briny
Sinn Fein President Gerry Adams
Has a strange rapport with bordello madams
This sounds like a Loyalist smear
Or something very near.
Sigourney Weaver
Is fascinated by the natural history of the beaver
And the fact that petting beavers is so much fun
Gave her the idea for her character in 'Alee-yun' erm...
[pen] Bravo!
Domenico Scarlatti
When ordered to his room after being naughty
Composed unplayable sonatas
And seven operas for Queen Maria Casimira apparently
Salvador Dali
Was as hypnotic as the legendary Svengali
Had a discerning eye for women but in the case of Amanda Lear
It seems to have deserted him, I fear.
Gaston Leroux's Phantom of the Opera
Was made into films several times but never by Frank Copra
Neither did he re-make Bram Stoker's "Dracula"
Although some of the movies he did make are considered quite spectacular.
The Three Musketeers
Sorry - could have sworn I saw a line there. Encore une fois
The Three Musketeers
Were queers Oh come on, it was begging for that line
But the Three Men in a Boat
Were more into Deep Throat.
Jerome K. Jerome
Is remembered for that one book alone
And that character of his, old Uncle Podger [I can see the obligatory next line already...]
A literary bastion as memorable as Dickens' Artful Dodger [I couldn't.]
Enid Blyton
Unlike Stephen King, didn't write stories that would frighten
Her Noddy books and the Famous Five
Made one glad, or perhaps not, to be alive
Lorna Doone
Had a personal genie who granted her a boon
Or am I confusing her with Alladin?
, or possibly Aladdin.
Robin Cook
Was principled and such a stand he took
Unlike Clare Short
Of whom it's difficult to find as glowing a report.
Bonnie and Clyde
Lied
But "Dangerous Dan" MacGraw
Swore.
Benjamin Disraeli
Dressed gaily
While William Gladstone, his arch rival
Had a sombre, almost funereal style, of which the only recollections now are archival
Gloria Estefan
Would be unlikely to do a gig in Esfahan er . . . Iran.
While Celine Dion
Quite often does one in Lyon.
(New lymerik) the idaho lisence plate offers eating suggestions
Good heavens, Holmes, what does this mean?
Clement Attlee
Intoned flatly
Unlike Winston Churchill
Who, in private, squeaked like Julie Burchill
Plato
His Republic wouldn't have joined NATO
He wrote: "Everything that deceives may be said to enchant"
And his books are both shorter and much easier to read than those of Kant
Peter Gabriel
Creates and lives his own bizarre unreal world - an unsavoury 'ell
Whereas Phil Collins
Thinks he's Henry Rollins
(Although I did consider "Doesn't.")
I
Being very egotistical and self centred, aye
but They
Being so introverted and self-effacing, nay.
Patsy Cline
Is no longer mine :-(
But the legacy of Twangy Guitar man Duane Eddy Dusted off (literally) some his 1959 singles last night. What taste I had in those days.
Was Heinz, already
Ogden Nash
His bones are ash alas . . .
His words, though, live on
To be long pondered upon
George Michael
Rides a unicycle
So there's nothing to sit on
For poor Elton John
Maya Angelou
Apparently an acclaimed African poetess and writer not previously known to me, but maybe to you
In fact she's a Yank
Who possibly owns a fishtank.
Lemuel Gulliver
Drank quite a bit upon his return from Lilliput, which swiftly destroyed his liver
Whereas Peter, Martin and Jack
Held back.
Richard Starkey
Is full of mullarkey
But I'm afraid, as a drummer (I set 'em up....)
, a bit of a bummer. (And I swallow the bait through sheer laziness because he wasn't all that bad, really.)
John Lennon (Let's go the whole hog.)
Who, although a multi-millionaire, wrote 'Imagine no possessions'
While Ringo
Had no such pretentious lingo. . . .thank God.
George Harrison (continuing the theme
Did not play lead guitar with a military band of Her Majesty's garrison
but the sainted Paul
Once knighted by her, often played with that band at hallowed Albert Hall.
.
Pete Best (flogging this one to death)
Dismissed by the Beatles in 1962, went to Germany to play drums at Oktoberfest
Whereas George Best
Never gives that kicking leg of his a rest.
Beatles manager Brian Epstein at least it can't get worse...
Had a fondness for alcholic beverages - except wine
On the other hand, George Martin
Arranged all the songs that had any art in.
Cher
Wears a wig because she has inadequate hair
While her ex-partner Sonny
Skied into a tree and didn't think it funny.
Steve Martin
Had absolutely nothing to do with the Rowan and Martin Laugh-in
This appellative similarity has yet, to my knowledge, to cause any great confusion
Yet stylistically one could be forgiven for not immediately coming to that conclusion.
Michael Caine
Failed to land a part in 'Citizen Kane'
While Orson Wells
Became cross when his name was spelled like "bells" and not like "belles".
Pianist and conductor Vladimir Ashkenazy
Is known for his tendency to visit the kazi
While Liberace
Was probably more interested in Versace (Chalky) That's uncanny! It's almost exactly the same as what I was thinking of as a possible rhyme. Clearly you are as lavatorial as I am. Dear me.
Heather Locklear
had an infected cochlea You heard it here first.
As did John Wayne which apparently excused him from service in WW2 despite all the films suggesting the contrary view
Who just gritted his teeth and insisted it caused him no pain
Marco Polo
Did not travel solo
Unlike Sir Francis Chichester
Which is why he did not remain Mister
Isambard Republic Kingdom Brunel
Ranks fairly high on the list of Historical Lucicrous Names, though to be fair his is more or less phoenetic to spell
Whereas Zbigniew Brzezinski
Unlike IKB lived outside his country of birth rather like the famous Russian ballet dancer Nijinski
Rogers and Hammerstein
Had little time for Palestine
While Gilbert and Sullivan
Were diatonic; dull even. (Juxtapose) Yeah, lucicrous. Hard luck. :-)
Ariel Sharon
Would never bungle a word like "ludicrous," as his talent for typing is well-known
Whereas Binyamin Netanyahu
Does the world's worst imitation of Homer Simpson pumping his arms and yelling "WOO-HOO!
Kenneth Horne
Starred in Beyond Our Ken without which it is unlikely that the more often quoted Round the Horne would never have been born.
But Kenneth Williams
Was in 'Carry-on' filliams
Milli Vanilli
Were very silly oblig.
So was Screaming Lord Sutch
Of talent neither had much.
Freddie Flintoff
Not really an In toff
Bur Shane Warne
Bur = but
Has been since the day he was born
Uriah Heep
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