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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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keeping it very simple
INJ is correct!
So I don't have to reply to all the other attempts. Even yours, Tuj :)

It gives me enormous oodles of delicious pleasure to hand the baton over to a deserving winner - ImNotJohn
That's more like it
Has the blessed Mr F never been a guest chairman of HIGNFY? Seems unlikely.
Anyway, the next one is Mineral
FeS2?
Because it begins with P
[Rosie] I can make a passably good attempt at Macheelinneth. Remember, I am half-Welsh. :-)
[CdM] Fool's gold? - NO
A manufactured object?
[Raak] Manufactured? - YES
Mineral = metal?
Well done Chalky! It must be your female wiles that can encourage such a swift result ;o)
A portable device?
(CdM) Nice one. :-) I believe you, BTW.
Rock?
[INJ - Unlikely but true. In this forum, I would never post a reply without checking the facts first -- you are all way too canny :)
Here is a Wiki quote: "In April 2003, three-time guest panellist Stephen Fry announced that he was boycotting the show following the sacking of Angus Deayton. Fry described Deayton's disposal as "greasy, miserable, British and pathetic"."]
[Software] Metallic? - NO
[Rosie] Portable? - NO some chuckles in the audience
[Chalky] - Rocky? - YES [Re SF - Actually, now you remind me, I do vaguely remember that.]
A portaloo?
hmmm
[Raak] Portable, partly metallic structure with no rock in it? - NO
A tunnel?
(Chalky) Fry was right, even if Deayton is not everybody's cup of tea.
Related to fire but not necessarily fired?
Artistic?
[Rosie] Tunnel? - NO
[Dujon] Flambé? - NO
[CdM] Artistic? - NO (some murmurs in the audience)
Found in the UK?
[Software] UK-located? - NO
Is this a specific individual object?
[Raak] Specific individual object? - YES
The Great Wall of China?
The Colluseum?
100% rock?
[Rosie] Mah Jong setup? - NO
[Software] Colosseum? - NO
[CdM] The rock, the whole rock and nothing but the rock? - YES (technically I don't know that, but don't worry)
Is it a work of sculpture?
Does it have a specific purpose?
Rock of Gibralta?
A rather large carving?
homing in
[Raak] Sculpture? - YES
[CdM] Specific purpose? - It may have had, but I don't know it
[Chalky] Herculean Pillar? - NO
[Dujon] Large Carving? - YES (Applause)
The Sphinx?
The riddle is solved
We have a winner! The Sphinx it is.

The baton is passed inscrutably to Software.

Oh, no. Not me again! Hope it doesn't take 6 weeks this time!
Let me think ...

Ah, I know!

Abstract with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connections.

Animal connection human?
The sign that swings outside Phil's pub?
Connected with the arts?
[Rosie] Human? - YES
[Duj] Hostelry? - NO
[IMJ} Arty-Farty? - YES
Theatrical?
Musical?
Pictorial?
Narrative?
Topical?
Human connection a single individual?
[CdM] Luvvies? - YES
[Rosie] Bandy? - NO
[Raak] Talky? - NO (well, maybe a bit)
[Duj] Newsey? - YES (in the UK at least)
[INJ] Loner? - YES
On television?
Is The Answer the title of a play?
[Projoy] Play - Not a play exactly but YESish
[Raak] TV? -YES
Does the name of the loner appear as part or all of the title?
The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin?
[CdM] see below -
[Rosie] Boing! Spot on!

Discretely hands the baton over to Rosie!

[Rosie] Good luck putting that baton back together. :-)
(CdM) That's TNT for you.

This one is MINERAL, sort of. Should be fairly easy.

Mineral = stone?
Tangible?
(Softers) - Stone? - No, not as we recognise it.
(CdM) - Tangible - *audience hilarity* I wouldn't try.
Lava?
Salt?
Raak - Not lava.
Sierra Mike - Salty? Ha-Harrr! Not loikely, me dearie.
Related to nuclear fission?
Dujon - NO, not fission.
Is it deep underground?
Extraterrestrial?
Raak - NO, nowhere on the Tube.
(Softers) - YES, most certainly. *audience applause*
Pluto?
(Raak) - NO, not little Pluto.
Related to the sun?
(INJ) - Sun-related? Just about, but indirectly.
Within the solar system?
(Raak) - NO, not within the solar system.
An extra-solar planet?
(Raak) - NO, not an extra-solar planet.
An expansion of some kind?
Without the solar system?
A star, or collection of stars?
Inter-stellar dust clouds?
(Dujon) - *cruel laughter from know-alls in audience* - Not a bit of it.
(CdM) - YES, not within city limits.
(INJ) - YES, in a way. (to one of your two questions, you naughty boy).
(Software) - Space fog? - NO.
A neutron star?
(Raak)- NO, not a neutron star, but *audience applause*
A black hole?
The event horizon?
A White Dwarf?
[Rosie] No, just 1 question, to be followed up, depending on the answer.
(INJ) NO, far too big :-).
(Software) V bad luck, but don't stand too close to it because it's RAAK's BLACK HOLE, if you see what I mean. Awesome deductive powers, sir. Have a newly-repaired baton.

That was a bit quick. Next time it'll be a particular steam engine. *evil grin*

ANIMAL.
Human?
Yes, human.
Male?
Living?
Fictional?
Male? Could be.
Living? When it exists, it is living.
Fictional? Can be.
Someone defined by their job?
Jobsworth? No.
Juvenile as opposed to adult?
Could be either.
Communicates by speaking?
Is this person known by a figurative reference?
Someone defined by their relationship to other people?
[Bigsmith] Could speak, but not relevant.
[Rosie] No figurative reference.
[INJ] To other people? No.
Someone noted for an achievement?
Does the Animal occupy a titular position?
[Rosie] Not an achievement.
[Software] Not entitled.
Everyone seems to be assuming that this is a single person.
A dwarf?
Not a dwarf.
A gathering for a particular event?
A group of people dedicated to a cause (e.g. a club)?
[Rosie] *applause!* Yes, a gathering for an event.
[Dujon] Supporting a tiddlywinks team? No.
A demonstration?
[Projoy] more applause! Not a demonstration.
A flash mob?
An audience?
[Software] Quite the opposite, for...
[CdM] A flash mob it is. A sudden crowd of naked unicyclists appear and hand you their batons.
That was unexpected. OK, MINERAL
Metallic (mainly or wholly)?
Metallic? Largely, yes.
Man-made?
Man-made? Yes.
An individual thing?
Individual thing? Not sure what you mean. The answer on the card is a single named item, but there are many of them in existence. Or, to put it another way, the first word on the card is an indefinite article.
Small, i.e. pocketable?
An electrical implement?
Pocketable? No.
Electrical? Yes.
An expression of a collection?
Expression of a collection? No. A single named item, as noted above.
High-tech?
High-tech? There are probably high-tech incarnations of this, but the answer has to be no.
A domestic item?
Domestic? Yes
From the pre-electronics age, e.g. electric kettle?
An electric iron?
Pre-electronic? Yes.
Iron? No.
A gardening tool?
Gardening? No.
Curling iron?
A coil of some kind?
A kitchen appliance?
Curling iron? No.
A coil? It contains a coil, yes.
Kitchen appliance? Yes.
A timer?
Used in food or drink preparation?
Does it begin with K?
Lurking
Electric hot plate?
A toaster?
A toaster is the correct answer! Sadly, no one asked the traditional size question. *hands Raak a baton, scarcely warm on one side and blackened and charred on the other*
Oh, did I forget it was on? Never mind, the blackened bits are the best!

ANIMAL with VEGETABLE and ABSTRACT connections.

Animal human?
Human? Yes.
currently alive?
Can be alive or dead.
I suspect people will begin this one with assumptions that will take a long time to overcome.
Schrödinger as role reversal?
Er, what? No.
A single named individual?
Not a single named individual.
Connected with the arts?
A population?
(Raak) If Schrödinger rather than his cat had been in the box it would be intrinsically impossible to know whether he was alive or dead, thus meeting one of the requirements. Just being a bit flippant.
Is this a person referred to in a common description (e.g. 'carrot top')?
[irach] Not arty.
[Dujon] Not a type of person.
A part of a person?
[INJ] *applause!* Yes! A part of a person.
Cauliflower Ear?
Shameless lurker's guess. Hope it's wrong
A gender-specific feature?
Although I actually reckon Chalky's right - it's what I'd thought of, but I was waiting my turn.
Figurative reference?
[Chalky] Your wish is granted. Not a cauliflower ear.
[INJ] Yes, gender-specific.
[Rosie] Yes, figurative.
A bushy beard?
[INJ] Not a bushy beard.
Adam's apple?
Assuming male.
[Rosie] Yes, the Adam's apple. One fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil handed over.
Wahay. Well done Rosie.
(Chalky) Thanks.

Now I've got to do bit of thinking - thinks - Ah, yes - It's ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections.
Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines.

Animal human?
Welsh Language?
Anything to do with the weather?
Artistic connections?
A wolf in sheep's clothing?
Softers - YES, human.
(Chalky) Nage.
(Raak) NO, not weather-related.
(INJ) NO artistic connections.
(irach) NO disguised ferocity.
Is the human element male?
(irach) - Could be either sex.
A stereotype of some sort?
(Dujon) Douse the barbie and I'll tell you, mate.:-) Not a stereotype.
An expression?
(Softers) - NO, not an expression.
Related to emotions?
Fictional?
(INJ) Emotions are only very occasionally associated with this, so short answer, NO.
(Raak) - Fictional? - Can be, but basically NO.
A particular type of human being?
An action?
(Software) - NO, no particular type.
(INJ) - NO, not an action.
I have an idea
(Dujon) - Forget it; it's not that.
Specific to a particular culture?
A type of behaviour?
(INJ) - Culture-specific? - *some audience murmurs* - NO, not really.
(Software) - NO, not a type of behaviour.
Begins with a P?
(Tuj) Pinitial? - Sorry, NO.

As this seems to be a little slow I'll say that the Words on the Card are the indefinite article plus one other, and that the answer is exceedingly commonplace.

A Place?
(Chalky) - NO, not a place.
More than one human involved?
Is there a visible component?
(Software) - YES, more than one human.
(INJ) - Visible? - Straightforward answer is NO, though in some circumstances there may be.
To do with the radio?
Sporting connection?
(Raak) - Nothing to do with the radio (or television).
(CdM) - Play up, Wanderers? - NO.
A queue?
(Softers) - NO, not a queue.
A human interaction?
(INJ) - Human interaction? NO, nothing so complicated.
A thought?
Is there a technological connection?
(Softers) - A thought? - NO.
(INJ) - Nothing to do with technology.
Associated with a particular part of the anatomy?
You've got dirty minds, all of you.
(CdM) - To do with any of your bits, rude or otherwise? - Mmm, can be, but not normally.
Is it in the Morniverse?
Connected with language?
(Softers) - This is almost entirely absent from the Morniverse.
(INJ) - Connected with language? - NO.
Common sense?
(CdM) - That which "is almost entirely absent from the Morniverse"? - NO.
A number of people grouped together for a common purpose?
(INJ) - Purposeful gathering? - NO.

Is it time for the gentlest of hints?

A round?
It feels as if someone just needs to ask the right question and we'll home in quickly, but I'm struggling now.
(INJ) - What's yours? - NO, not this time.
Everyone is associated with/acquires/posseses The Answer.
Personal contact?
(Software) - Face-to-face? - NO.
An ego?
(Dujon) - An ego - NO, nothing so abstruse.
Sense of humour?
(Software) - NO, not a sense of humour.
As this is so slow I'll say that the answer is prosaic, and not a characteristic.
A soul?
(Phil) - NO, nothing so nebulous.
a type of utterance?
(INJ) - NO, not any type of utterance or any other type of action.
I've checked back for any possibly misleading answers I may have given but there aren't any. Please, someone, ask the right question. Any further hint on my part would probably enable someone to get the answer almost immediately.
When you say "everyone is associated with/acquires/possesses The Answer", does "everyone" include the dead?
Is it studied?
(CdM) YES - this includes the dead but not the very, very long dead in most cultures.
(Graham III) - Studied? YES, but the answer itself is not a study.
A name?
(Phil) - YES, a name. Getting very warm. *audience stubs its fags out and returns*
A surname?
Does the answer relate to an autopsy?
Sorry, Mr Belshaw, too late because THE WINNER IS MR JONES OF LEICESTER! A surname it is. Well done, Phil; carry on.
Bit of a lurker's victory, but it came from very careful analysis. "almost entirely absent from the Morniverse" was the biggest indicator.

So, next up is ABSTRACT with animal and vegetable connections

Drunkenness? ...with all due respects...
[Rosie] How very dare you! NO, not drunkenness :-)
The tale of "Jack and the Beanstalk"?
[irach] Fee fie fo fum? NO
Animal = human?
[Rosie] Nice one. I'm now trying to think of how many surnames do show up in the Morniverse. Off the top of my head I can think of 3.5.
Anything to do with pubs?
(CdM) Surnames - ImNotJohn, PaulWay, Simons Mith possibly? Not Herr Bratsche, despite appearances.
[CdM] Human association? YES
[Rosie] To do with pubs? NO
Artistic connections?
[INJ] Arty? NO
Begins with a P?
[Tuj] P? NO
A tool?
A feature of the natural world?
Specific vegetable?
[Rosie] That was my list (PW=0.5), together with parslow.com.
Culturally specific?
[surnames] Do you want to add another 20% for JLE - or is that just getting silly?
[Dujon] A tool? NO
[Rosie] Feature of the natural world? NO
[CdM] Specific vegetable? YES
[INJ] Culturally specific? I think that's a YES
Is/are the human(s) real rather than fictional?
[CdM] Real humans? YES
Connected with food?
And then there was the contibutor whose real name was Terence Ulysses Anorak.
[INJ] Food-related? NO
Let's not forget Mr Wild Pants or Suzy Creamcheese
A phrase or saying?
(CdM) Yes, I'd forgotten the landlord.
[Rosie] Phrase or saying? Inasmuch as the words on the card are well-known, it's a phrase, but not in the sense that I think you meant. Therefore, NO.
A figurative meaning?
Single real human?
[INJ] It's quite a coincidence, when you think about it, that we have both the gentleman you mention and Terence Ulysses Jacket here in the morniverse.
[Rosie] Figurative? NO
[CdM] Single real human? NO
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