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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Ding!

Passes the baton over to Chalks. Nice to see you back and in fine form!

[Softers] Thanks mate :-) Delighted and all that.
However, is this a poisoned chalice/baton I be picking up? I really don't want to set a new one unless I know for sure that all interested parties are going to play nicely and in a regular manner. [In otherwords: I'm not sure if I can sustain a chairpersonship for 9+ weeks - which is what you had to do]
Patience is a virtue ...
or so it's oft said. Just dive in the deep end and let it flow. I'm sure some people will play.
Oka-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ay. I shall keep it simple

A N I M A L
Alive?
[Projoy] Alive? YES
Human?
[Graham III] Human? YES
Man?
An entertainer?
Promises to play nicely.
British?
That's m'girl :o)
[Kim] Man? YES
[Rosie] Entertainer? YES
[Software] British? YES
Does he work mainly on television?
[Raak] Television? YES
Involved in panel games?
6 consecutive YES's must be near a record.
[Rosie] Panel gamer? YES
7 yes's!
On "Have I Got News For You"?
Does he speak fluent Khosa?
[Raak] HIGNFY? At some point - YES
[CdM] Fluent Khosa [Xhosa?] That's two questions. Please re-submit your question and play nicely from here on in.

:)
Has he been chairman of HIGNFY?
very well -- Does he speak?
And, yes, Xhosa seems to be the much more common spelling, though both are in use
keeping it simple
[Rosie] Chairman of HIGNFY? NO
[CdM] Does he speak? YES
A comedian?
(CdM) But can you speak it without causing yourself grave injury? If so, you should have no problem with Machynlleth.
[Rosie] A comedian? YES - amongst other things
A chat show host?
Paul Merton?
Stephen Fry?
He does everything else, so why shouldn't he be the answer to this as well?
Richard E Grant?
Alistair McGowan?
Begins with a P?
"...all interested parties are going to play nicely and in a regular manner..." check
keeping it very simple
INJ is correct!
So I don't have to reply to all the other attempts. Even yours, Tuj :)

It gives me enormous oodles of delicious pleasure to hand the baton over to a deserving winner - ImNotJohn
That's more like it
Has the blessed Mr F never been a guest chairman of HIGNFY? Seems unlikely.
Anyway, the next one is Mineral
FeS2?
Because it begins with P
[Rosie] I can make a passably good attempt at Macheelinneth. Remember, I am half-Welsh. :-)
[CdM] Fool's gold? - NO
A manufactured object?
[Raak] Manufactured? - YES
Mineral = metal?
Well done Chalky! It must be your female wiles that can encourage such a swift result ;o)
A portable device?
(CdM) Nice one. :-) I believe you, BTW.
Rock?
[INJ - Unlikely but true. In this forum, I would never post a reply without checking the facts first -- you are all way too canny :)
Here is a Wiki quote: "In April 2003, three-time guest panellist Stephen Fry announced that he was boycotting the show following the sacking of Angus Deayton. Fry described Deayton's disposal as "greasy, miserable, British and pathetic"."]
[Software] Metallic? - NO
[Rosie] Portable? - NO some chuckles in the audience
[Chalky] - Rocky? - YES [Re SF - Actually, now you remind me, I do vaguely remember that.]
A portaloo?
hmmm
[Raak] Portable, partly metallic structure with no rock in it? - NO
A tunnel?
(Chalky) Fry was right, even if Deayton is not everybody's cup of tea.
Related to fire but not necessarily fired?
Artistic?
[Rosie] Tunnel? - NO
[Dujon] Flambé? - NO
[CdM] Artistic? - NO (some murmurs in the audience)
Found in the UK?
[Software] UK-located? - NO
Is this a specific individual object?
[Raak] Specific individual object? - YES
The Great Wall of China?
The Colluseum?
100% rock?
[Rosie] Mah Jong setup? - NO
[Software] Colosseum? - NO
[CdM] The rock, the whole rock and nothing but the rock? - YES (technically I don't know that, but don't worry)
Is it a work of sculpture?
Does it have a specific purpose?
Rock of Gibralta?
A rather large carving?
homing in
[Raak] Sculpture? - YES
[CdM] Specific purpose? - It may have had, but I don't know it
[Chalky] Herculean Pillar? - NO
[Dujon] Large Carving? - YES (Applause)
The Sphinx?
The riddle is solved
We have a winner! The Sphinx it is.

The baton is passed inscrutably to Software.

Oh, no. Not me again! Hope it doesn't take 6 weeks this time!
Let me think ...

Ah, I know!

Abstract with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connections.

Animal connection human?
The sign that swings outside Phil's pub?
Connected with the arts?
[Rosie] Human? - YES
[Duj] Hostelry? - NO
[IMJ} Arty-Farty? - YES
Theatrical?
Musical?
Pictorial?
Narrative?
Topical?
Human connection a single individual?
[CdM] Luvvies? - YES
[Rosie] Bandy? - NO
[Raak] Talky? - NO (well, maybe a bit)
[Duj] Newsey? - YES (in the UK at least)
[INJ] Loner? - YES
On television?
Is The Answer the title of a play?
[Projoy] Play - Not a play exactly but YESish
[Raak] TV? -YES
Does the name of the loner appear as part or all of the title?
The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin?
[CdM] see below -
[Rosie] Boing! Spot on!

Discretely hands the baton over to Rosie!

[Rosie] Good luck putting that baton back together. :-)
(CdM) That's TNT for you.

This one is MINERAL, sort of. Should be fairly easy.

Mineral = stone?
Tangible?
(Softers) - Stone? - No, not as we recognise it.
(CdM) - Tangible - *audience hilarity* I wouldn't try.
Lava?
Salt?
Raak - Not lava.
Sierra Mike - Salty? Ha-Harrr! Not loikely, me dearie.
Related to nuclear fission?
Dujon - NO, not fission.
Is it deep underground?
Extraterrestrial?
Raak - NO, nowhere on the Tube.
(Softers) - YES, most certainly. *audience applause*
Pluto?
(Raak) - NO, not little Pluto.
Related to the sun?
(INJ) - Sun-related? Just about, but indirectly.
Within the solar system?
(Raak) - NO, not within the solar system.
An extra-solar planet?
(Raak) - NO, not an extra-solar planet.
An expansion of some kind?
Without the solar system?
A star, or collection of stars?
Inter-stellar dust clouds?
(Dujon) - *cruel laughter from know-alls in audience* - Not a bit of it.
(CdM) - YES, not within city limits.
(INJ) - YES, in a way. (to one of your two questions, you naughty boy).
(Software) - Space fog? - NO.
A neutron star?
(Raak)- NO, not a neutron star, but *audience applause*
A black hole?
The event horizon?
A White Dwarf?
[Rosie] No, just 1 question, to be followed up, depending on the answer.
(INJ) NO, far too big :-).
(Software) V bad luck, but don't stand too close to it because it's RAAK's BLACK HOLE, if you see what I mean. Awesome deductive powers, sir. Have a newly-repaired baton.

That was a bit quick. Next time it'll be a particular steam engine. *evil grin*

ANIMAL.
Human?
Yes, human.
Male?
Living?
Fictional?
Male? Could be.
Living? When it exists, it is living.
Fictional? Can be.
Someone defined by their job?
Jobsworth? No.
Juvenile as opposed to adult?
Could be either.
Communicates by speaking?
Is this person known by a figurative reference?
Someone defined by their relationship to other people?
[Bigsmith] Could speak, but not relevant.
[Rosie] No figurative reference.
[INJ] To other people? No.
Someone noted for an achievement?
Does the Animal occupy a titular position?
[Rosie] Not an achievement.
[Software] Not entitled.
Everyone seems to be assuming that this is a single person.
A dwarf?
Not a dwarf.
A gathering for a particular event?
A group of people dedicated to a cause (e.g. a club)?
[Rosie] *applause!* Yes, a gathering for an event.
[Dujon] Supporting a tiddlywinks team? No.
A demonstration?
[Projoy] more applause! Not a demonstration.
A flash mob?
An audience?
[Software] Quite the opposite, for...
[CdM] A flash mob it is. A sudden crowd of naked unicyclists appear and hand you their batons.
That was unexpected. OK, MINERAL
Metallic (mainly or wholly)?
Metallic? Largely, yes.
Man-made?
Man-made? Yes.
An individual thing?
Individual thing? Not sure what you mean. The answer on the card is a single named item, but there are many of them in existence. Or, to put it another way, the first word on the card is an indefinite article.
Small, i.e. pocketable?
An electrical implement?
Pocketable? No.
Electrical? Yes.
An expression of a collection?
Expression of a collection? No. A single named item, as noted above.
High-tech?
High-tech? There are probably high-tech incarnations of this, but the answer has to be no.
A domestic item?
Domestic? Yes
From the pre-electronics age, e.g. electric kettle?
An electric iron?
Pre-electronic? Yes.
Iron? No.
A gardening tool?
Gardening? No.
Curling iron?
A coil of some kind?
A kitchen appliance?
Curling iron? No.
A coil? It contains a coil, yes.
Kitchen appliance? Yes.
A timer?
Used in food or drink preparation?
Does it begin with K?
Lurking
Electric hot plate?
A toaster?
A toaster is the correct answer! Sadly, no one asked the traditional size question. *hands Raak a baton, scarcely warm on one side and blackened and charred on the other*
Oh, did I forget it was on? Never mind, the blackened bits are the best!

ANIMAL with VEGETABLE and ABSTRACT connections.

Animal human?
Human? Yes.
currently alive?
Can be alive or dead.
I suspect people will begin this one with assumptions that will take a long time to overcome.
Schrödinger as role reversal?
Er, what? No.
A single named individual?
Not a single named individual.
Connected with the arts?
A population?
(Raak) If Schrödinger rather than his cat had been in the box it would be intrinsically impossible to know whether he was alive or dead, thus meeting one of the requirements. Just being a bit flippant.
Is this a person referred to in a common description (e.g. 'carrot top')?
[irach] Not arty.
[Dujon] Not a type of person.
A part of a person?
[INJ] *applause!* Yes! A part of a person.
Cauliflower Ear?
Shameless lurker's guess. Hope it's wrong
A gender-specific feature?
Although I actually reckon Chalky's right - it's what I'd thought of, but I was waiting my turn.
Figurative reference?
[Chalky] Your wish is granted. Not a cauliflower ear.
[INJ] Yes, gender-specific.
[Rosie] Yes, figurative.
A bushy beard?
[INJ] Not a bushy beard.
Adam's apple?
Assuming male.
[Rosie] Yes, the Adam's apple. One fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil handed over.
Wahay. Well done Rosie.
(Chalky) Thanks.

Now I've got to do bit of thinking - thinks - Ah, yes - It's ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections.
Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines.

Animal human?
Welsh Language?
Anything to do with the weather?
Artistic connections?
A wolf in sheep's clothing?
Softers - YES, human.
(Chalky) Nage.
(Raak) NO, not weather-related.
(INJ) NO artistic connections.
(irach) NO disguised ferocity.
Is the human element male?
(irach) - Could be either sex.
A stereotype of some sort?
(Dujon) Douse the barbie and I'll tell you, mate.:-) Not a stereotype.
An expression?
(Softers) - NO, not an expression.
Related to emotions?
Fictional?
(INJ) Emotions are only very occasionally associated with this, so short answer, NO.
(Raak) - Fictional? - Can be, but basically NO.
A particular type of human being?
An action?
(Software) - NO, no particular type.
(INJ) - NO, not an action.
I have an idea
(Dujon) - Forget it; it's not that.
Specific to a particular culture?
A type of behaviour?
(INJ) - Culture-specific? - *some audience murmurs* - NO, not really.
(Software) - NO, not a type of behaviour.
Begins with a P?
(Tuj) Pinitial? - Sorry, NO.

As this seems to be a little slow I'll say that the Words on the Card are the indefinite article plus one other, and that the answer is exceedingly commonplace.

A Place?
(Chalky) - NO, not a place.
More than one human involved?
Is there a visible component?
(Software) - YES, more than one human.
(INJ) - Visible? - Straightforward answer is NO, though in some circumstances there may be.
To do with the radio?
Sporting connection?
(Raak) - Nothing to do with the radio (or television).
(CdM) - Play up, Wanderers? - NO.
A queue?
(Softers) - NO, not a queue.
A human interaction?
(INJ) - Human interaction? NO, nothing so complicated.
A thought?
Is there a technological connection?
(Softers) - A thought? - NO.
(INJ) - Nothing to do with technology.
Associated with a particular part of the anatomy?
You've got dirty minds, all of you.
(CdM) - To do with any of your bits, rude or otherwise? - Mmm, can be, but not normally.
Is it in the Morniverse?
Connected with language?
(Softers) - This is almost entirely absent from the Morniverse.
(INJ) - Connected with language? - NO.
Common sense?
(CdM) - That which "is almost entirely absent from the Morniverse"? - NO.
A number of people grouped together for a common purpose?
(INJ) - Purposeful gathering? - NO.

Is it time for the gentlest of hints?

A round?
It feels as if someone just needs to ask the right question and we'll home in quickly, but I'm struggling now.
(INJ) - What's yours? - NO, not this time.
Everyone is associated with/acquires/posseses The Answer.
Personal contact?
(Software) - Face-to-face? - NO.
An ego?
(Dujon) - An ego - NO, nothing so abstruse.
Sense of humour?
(Software) - NO, not a sense of humour.
As this is so slow I'll say that the answer is prosaic, and not a characteristic.
A soul?
(Phil) - NO, nothing so nebulous.
a type of utterance?
(INJ) - NO, not any type of utterance or any other type of action.
I've checked back for any possibly misleading answers I may have given but there aren't any. Please, someone, ask the right question. Any further hint on my part would probably enable someone to get the answer almost immediately.
When you say "everyone is associated with/acquires/possesses The Answer", does "everyone" include the dead?
Is it studied?
(CdM) YES - this includes the dead but not the very, very long dead in most cultures.
(Graham III) - Studied? YES, but the answer itself is not a study.
A name?
(Phil) - YES, a name. Getting very warm. *audience stubs its fags out and returns*
A surname?
Does the answer relate to an autopsy?
Sorry, Mr Belshaw, too late because THE WINNER IS MR JONES OF LEICESTER! A surname it is. Well done, Phil; carry on.
Bit of a lurker's victory, but it came from very careful analysis. "almost entirely absent from the Morniverse" was the biggest indicator.

So, next up is ABSTRACT with animal and vegetable connections

Drunkenness? ...with all due respects...
[Rosie] How very dare you! NO, not drunkenness :-)
The tale of "Jack and the Beanstalk"?
[irach] Fee fie fo fum? NO
Animal = human?
[Rosie] Nice one. I'm now trying to think of how many surnames do show up in the Morniverse. Off the top of my head I can think of 3.5.
Anything to do with pubs?
(CdM) Surnames - ImNotJohn, PaulWay, Simons Mith possibly? Not Herr Bratsche, despite appearances.
[CdM] Human association? YES
[Rosie] To do with pubs? NO
Artistic connections?
[INJ] Arty? NO
Begins with a P?
[Tuj] P? NO
A tool?
A feature of the natural world?
Specific vegetable?
[Rosie] That was my list (PW=0.5), together with parslow.com.
Culturally specific?
[surnames] Do you want to add another 20% for JLE - or is that just getting silly?
[Dujon] A tool? NO
[Rosie] Feature of the natural world? NO
[CdM] Specific vegetable? YES
[INJ] Culturally specific? I think that's a YES
Is/are the human(s) real rather than fictional?
[CdM] Real humans? YES
Connected with food?
And then there was the contibutor whose real name was Terence Ulysses Anorak.
[INJ] Food-related? NO
Let's not forget Mr Wild Pants or Suzy Creamcheese
A phrase or saying?
(CdM) Yes, I'd forgotten the landlord.
[Rosie] Phrase or saying? Inasmuch as the words on the card are well-known, it's a phrase, but not in the sense that I think you meant. Therefore, NO.
A figurative meaning?
Single real human?
[INJ] It's quite a coincidence, when you think about it, that we have both the gentleman you mention and Terence Ulysses Jacket here in the morniverse.
[Rosie] Figurative? NO
[CdM] Single real human? NO
Is this a group of humans who are linked in some way?
[Chalky] Linked group of humans? YES
Any sporting connection?
[INJ] Sporting? YES *applause*
The Ashes?
Yes, I know I went last, but I won't be able to guess again until tomorrow morning.
Team spirit?
[Software] Team Spirit? I like it, but NO
[INJ] The Ashes? I was planning on insisting on "The Ashes Series", but I have lots to do tomorrow, so I'll say YES! Congrats!!
I pass on to ImNotJohn an urn containing the ashes of a baton...
Ah, right - better get thinking.
Here we go then: This one is ANIMAL with Abstract connections
Human?
[CdM] Human? - NO
Figurative reference to some beast?
[Rosie] Figurative reference to some beast? - NO
Has the animal been processed?
[Phil} Spam, spam, spam? - NO
Is the animal used as a symbol?
Is tha animal a mammal?
[Raak] Symbolic? - YESish - but that may be misleading
[Rosie] - mammal? - NO
A black swan?
A bird?
A pet?
Sorry - busy weekend
[CdM] Black Swan? - NO
[Rosie] Bird? - YES
[Dujon] A pet? - NO
Is the answer on the card a particular species?
[CdM] A particular species? - YESish - a particular species is named on the card
Is the bird an indicator of something significant?
I think you're closing in on this one
[Rosie] An indicator of something significant? - Not quite the wording I would have used, but YES is the best answer.
A part of a bird?
(I'm thinking of something like 'a white feather' except of course with some species mentioned.)
The miner's canary?
[CdM] drumstick? - NO
[Rosie] early warning system? - NO
Eagle eyed?
Is the answer the title of a "work"
Is it a metaphor?
The bald eagle?
[Software] aquiloptic? - NO
[Phil] A work? - NO
[Glll] Metaphor? - NO (but some audience reaction)
[Dujon] Haliaeetus leucocephalus? - NO
Hens' teeth?
We have a problem
[Software] Hens Teeth? - NO
I'm about to go on holiday and don't know what access I'll have. If I can't get regular connection I'll let someone know.
The last dodo?
(BTW, I can promise you that INJ will have internet connection.)
He's right, you know - and he's right - THE LAST DODO it is.
A moribund baton is passed across.
ANIMAL
Human?
Human? No.
A single animal?
Single animal? Yes
Currently alive?
Currently alive? No.
The second-last dodo?
Is the amimal fictional?
[ImNotJohn] Can you have a second-last dodo? Surely the first-last is the-last. ;-)
My cat, 1990-2004?
Was this animal significant in human affairs?
Seriously this time.
Well, I won't insist on the beginning-with-P wording on the card, so The Penultimate Dodo it is.
*send baton back stamped "Return to Sender"*
I was only joking
I didn't mean that seriously - I lose connection after tomorrow. So here's an easy one. Mineral
Water in some form?
(INJ) - Not Worthing, shurely?
A geological/geographic feature?
A metal?
Naturally occurring?
The Earth?
[Rosie] - Water - NO
[CdM] Natural feature? NO
[Software] Metal? - The answer is metallic, but not a metal
[Glll] Natural - NO
[Raak] Gaia? - NO
The Eiffel Tower?
Phew! That was close.
Tout à fait correcte! La Tour Eiffel est la réponse juste.
A baton in the form of a gallic symbol is passed on
Zut alors! Ze next is ABSTRACT.
Essemtially to do with humans?
[Rosie] Yes, to do with humans.
The Origin of Species?
[Dujon] Ook? No.
Scientific?
A human concept?
Connected with the arts?
[CdM] Not scientific.
[Software] A human concept.
[INJ] Not artistic.
Begins with P?
A human characteristic?
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
[Rosie] Not a human characteristic.
A phrase or saying?
[Software] Not a phrase or saying.
Single word?
[Tuj] A single word, plus the indefinite article.
A group of people?
[Rosie] Not a group of people.
A thought?
To do with grouping or classification?
[Software] Not a thought.
[Rosie] Nothing to do with grouping or classification.
A 'syndrome'?
[Chalky] Not a syndrome.
Time for a hint?
technology-dependent?
A hint?
[INJ] Not technology-dependent.
[Rosie] Not a hint.
Commonplace?
[CdM] Yes, quite commonplace.
Is there some physical item associated with this?
[Rosie] No particular physical item.
Does this have seasonal relevance?
[THF] Why, yes it does!
The Silly Season?
[Rosie] Not the Silly Season.
Are we currently in the season for this?
[Rosie] We are in precisely the season for this!
hay fever?
A holiday?
[INJ] Not hay fever.
[Software] Yes! A holiday! Have this bucket and spade.
Oh, dear. Not again ...
Raak, thanks - mind my sand castle on the way out, please.

Well, let me think. Ah, I have it! Vegetable and Mineral with Abstract connections.

vegetable = wood?
Timber! - YES.
Mineral = metal?
A manufactured object?
A tool?
[Raak] Metalic? YES
[Rosie] Man made? YES
[IMJ] A Tool? NO (ish)
A Mosquito?
One specific article?
[Duj] Mossie? NO ( er .. where is the ANIMAL in the definition - have you been bitten by one?
[INJ] One item? NO. More than 1.
Found in the house?
[Software] I assumed Dujon was referring to a De Havilland Mosquito.
A drum kit?
[INJ] Domestic? YES (I was not in WWII aeroplane mode at the time of the answer, strangely)
[Rosie] Percussion? NO

I'm going off to chez nous for a short break, so I may not login every day over the next 10 days.

A set of speakers?
Seeing that our highly esteemed Software has buzzed off for a few days I'd like to thank INJ for his clarification of my previous.
not gone yet ;o)
[Duj] Stereo? NO
Smaller than a toaster?
[Rosie] (you taking the piss?) Kitchen appliance sized? - YES & NO
A fixture or fixtures?
Bon soir
[Rosie] Immoblier? NON
A container of some sort?
Associated with domestic drudgery?
[INJ] Bag, man? - NO
[Rosie] Nettoyage? - NON
Anything to do with entertainment?
Is the answer a set (ensemble/collection - take your pick) of objects?
[Rosie] Fun? YES
[INJ] Multi? YES
A toy?
[Rosie] Distraction? - YES
Meccano?
[Rosie] Liverpudlian toys? - NO
Aimed primarily at babies/toddlers/under 5s?
Lego?
Legere, lexi, lectum.
Known by a brand name?
[Rosie] You must have had the original prototype lego made out of wood and metal.
[INJ] Toddlers? - NO (well not entirely as a kind of hint)
[Rosie] Daneplay? - NO
[INJ] Designer? NO
A form of puzzle?
(INJ) Oh, I did. Mahogany with brass inlay. They made things properly in those days.
A board game?
[Rosie] Enigma? - NO
[INJ] Parlour fun? - NO
An indoors activity?
[Rosie] On the carpet? - NO
Any musical connections?
[INJ] Melodic - NO
A game in the garden?
Is it a competitive activity?
Are there winners & losers.
BTW can I just confirm. This is found in the house, but it is not an indoors activity, is that correct?
[Rosie] External domestic fun? - YES (but not exclusively)
[INJ] Competitive? - NO (well, not normally and not normally inside)
Clarification and hint
The answer is not an activity but contains items that are used therewith.
Does the activity involve throwing?
Slightly diverted from the true path by your answer to my question:
Q. Found in the house?
A. Domestic? - YES
Can you please clarify.
[IN
[INJ] Chuck? - NO
In answer to your other query, the subject will be found in the house but not necessarily used there.
INJ ( not a guess!)
I think Rosie and I need some lurker help here.
We're looking for a man-made toy made of wood and metal, with some (as yet unexplored) abstract connection. It consists of a number of parts and is normally used outside although it may be found inside (when it's put away?). It is both larger and smaller than a toaster - don't know if that's the part vs whole thing or just that it comes in different sizes. It is not normally a competitive game and does not involve throwing. It is not known by a brand name. It is not a board game or meccano or lego or a puzzle or a container or a fixture or fitting or a domestic appliance or a tool (slightly hesitant NO to that one), nor does it have musical connections.
There you are - should be easy now.
Any thing significant I missed?
Does the abstract involve a show/display/exhibition?
Does the activity normally involve more than one person?
Ah, yes, one omission. It is not primarily aimed at young children (the under 5-s say). The response was: 'NO (well not entirely as a kind of hint)'.
[Duj] Beauty parade? - YES well, sometimes
[INJ] Solo? - the correct answer could be YES and/or NO
remember we are looking for mineral and vegetable with only abstract connections
Does it have a sporting connection?
Are there more than 2 parts/elements to this?
[G III] Sporty? - NO
[INJ] More than a pair? - NO
Garden furniture?
Does it require inflation?
Are there are other elements involved apart from wood and metal?
[Rosie] On the patio? - NO
[G III] Puff? - NO
[INJ] Construction> - YES (sometimes)
Has wheels?
[irach] Mobility? - NO
stilts?
Pogo stick?
[INJ] High handed? - NO
[irach] Tigger? - NO. (remember earlier it was decided that the answer consisted of more than one part.)
Is it associated with a specific culture?
- to be precise - 2 parts.
[INJ] Culture link? - NO. (yes 2)
Primarily seasonal use?
[irach] Seasonal? - YES!
Used in winter?
[irach] Winter? - NO.
Summer?
Owt to do wi' bonfires and parkin?
[G III] Summer - YES
[Duj] Arcane winter celebrations? - NO
Does it contain water?
[Pro] Wet? - YES
Does it float?
[Pro] Floater? - YES and maybe NO (we have established 2 parts)
Bucket and Spade? (the old kind)
Hurrah!!
A Bucket and Spade it is!

Gladly hands over the stick of rock to Projoy!

Gosh, that's very retro. Makes me think of those daft wooden tubs of ice-cream you can get... *looks around lounge for inspiration* Ah. OK. Let's try this:

MOSTLY MINERAL (+ some of the other two + abstract connections)
An ornamental geological specimen?
[Raak] OGS? NO, not really.
A room furnishing?
[irach] Room furnishing? NO
Oh, I just realised what occasioned those last two questions. The lounge angle is very unlikely to help.
Would this relate to archaeology?
A manufactured object?
[Dujon] Old Fossils? NO
[Rosie] Manufactured? YEEEES, for some values of "manufactured", anyway. Definitely more than not.
A sculpture?
Made of stone?
Metalic?
INJ - Statuesque? NO
Raak - Stone? YES, mostly
Software - Metallic? Contains metal.
The toaster question
[INJ] Much bigger than said browning apparatus.
Is the metal part a plaque?
[Raak] The metal part?
Concrete?
Does any part of this thing bear an inscription?
A building?
[Software] Probably some concrete involved
[Raak] Inscribed? YES
[INJ] Constructive? YES
In London?
Open to the public?
A memorial?
[Rosie] London? YES
[INJ] Open to the public? YES AND NO
[Softers] Memorial? NO
Built before 1900?
[INJ] Pre-Labour Party? NO
*murmurs of surprise from the audience*
Is it in Trafalgar Square?
[Raak] Trafalgar? NO
Does it have a primarily commercial purpose?
[INJ] Moneyspinning? NO
Is it a tourist attraction?
The Royal Festival Hall?
[Raak] Tourism? There are defensible yes and no answers, I think. If pressed, I would say NOT REALLY.
[INJ] Herbert Morrison Remnant? NO
Do people work inside this building?
[Raak] Workplace? YES.
Mornington Crescent Tube station?
Transport House?
(Pj) Not the RFH, then?
[irach] The Hallowed Place? NO
[Rosie] John Smith House? NO
Oops. Misnomer there. It's not either of the Transport House
A place of entertainment?
[Rosie] entertainment? *audience laughter* NO
A location with political connections?
[irach] Poltical? YES, broadly.
Middlesex Guildhall?
Toynbee Hall?
Polly put the kettle on.
[Raak] Yes, you are correct. It is the Middlesex Guildhall, now the home of the UK Supreme Court, which starts work properly on Monday. I would have accepted "The Supreme Court" too, of course.
*hands gavel to Raak*
The next is mostly ANIMAL and VEGETABLE.
The members of the Supreme Court?
Dawlish Man U Supporters Club?
Food?
A herbivore of some kind?
[P] No :-)
[R] Devonian Macunian ex-pats? No.
[R] Not food.
[JJ] Yes, a herbovore is involved, nay, committed.
Damned beavers?
A horse and cart?
[D] No beavers.
[R] Not a horse and cart.
A mad cow?
A burger?
Is it a predator?
Is this one object?
[JJ] Not a mad cow.
[S] Not a burger.
[GIII] Not a predator.
[R] The answer is in the singular, but it's not a specific individual. (E.g. "A window-cleaner", rather than "The Eiffel Tower".)
Clothing?
[INJ] Not clothing.
This thing has Abstract connections as well.
Is the animal part a by-product?
[P] There are no byproducts, only products other than the one you were trying to make.
A Damien Hirst?
[JJ] Sharks in formaldehyde? No.
Is it a construction/building?
Trying to clear the fog.
Is it larger than a toaster?
[S] Not a construction or building.
[P] Yes! Bigger than a toaster.
But is it art?
[GIII] *applause* Yes! It is (associated with) art!
Used in the display of a work of art?
Some kind of pigment?
[R] Not an easel, picture rail, plinth, gallery, web site, or object of like nature.
[JJ] Not a pigment.
I am taking "art" in the general sense, not just pictures.
Larger than a phonebox?
[P] Not larger than a phonebox.
Animal part human?
[S] Not human. (Herbivore, remember.)
Is the animal part, leather?
[INJ] *applause* The audience were getting desperate for something to applaud. The animal part is leather.
An armchair?
Does its shape resemble a lamina (i.e., does it have immaterial depth)
A saddle (the vegetable part being wood)
[S] Not an armchair, however artistically made.
[GIII] Not laminate.
[i] (a) Not a saddle. (b) Yes! The vegetable part is wood.
Specific to a certain culture?
A gaucho's bolas?
Elephant's foot umbrella stand?
[CdM] Yes, specific to a certain culture.
[i] Not a bolas.
[INJ] Not an EFUS.
A drum of some kind?
Does it have any stuffing?
[CdM] *APPLAUSE* It is a drum of some kind.
[GIII] No stuffing.
I'll be away and offline for the weekend from mid-afternoon on Friday, so you'd better get it solved by then.
A Lambeg Drum?
A tabla?
[R] Not a Lambeg.
[GIII] Not a tabla.
A bodhran?
Asian?
[INJ] Not a bodhran.
[GIII] Yes, Asian.
dhol?
[P] Not a dhol.
Would this be more likely to be found in the Asian sub-continent than in Asia proper?
A mridangam?
[D] I'm not sure what distinction you're drawing there. Asia.
[i] Not a mridangam.
Primarily Chinese?
[INJ] Not Chinese.
A Taiko drum?
[GIII] *the audience burst into a 3-hour Miyake improvisation* You have hit the drum on the head! One bachi passed to the winner.
Huzzah!
Right, I'll try to be as responsive as I can, but may only be able to answer on a daily basis some of the time. We'll keep it reasonably easy (I hope).

ABSTRACT
Human construct?
A manifestation of the physical world?
[CdM] Made up by humans? YES
[Rosie] Not 100% sure I get your meaning, but I'm fairly confident the answer is NO.
Related to a specific culture?
linguistic connections?
[Software] Cultural? NO
[INJ] Except insofar that the answer is formed of word(s), NO.
A philosophy?
(G III) (First question) - I meant something like heat, cold, humidity etc.
[Rosie] Thanks for the clarification. Still NO then.

[Rosie] A philosophy? NO
Begins with a P?
Related to emotions?
[Tuj] P'ed? NO
[INJ] Audience oohs and whispers. Emotional? NO, not directly.
An intellectual process?
[Rosie] A process? NO
To do with music?
Associated with a specific time period or place?
[Software] Laaa! NO
[INJ] In general, NO, but to some people, probably YES.
artistic connections?
To do with belief?
[INJ] But is it art? NO
[Software] A believer? Good question. NO
Some form of memory?
A single word answer?
Nostalgia?
[Rosie] A memory? NO
[Tuj] Just one word? YES! *some applause and general relief*
[Dujon] Vera Lynn? NO.
An action?
Connected to this game?
[INJ] Action? NO
[Tuj] Connected thinking? NOT DIRECTLY
may be time for a clue soon.
Intelligence, in some form?
Dreaming?
[Rosie] Intelligentsia? NO, but not unrelated
[Software] Nocturnal activity? *healthy applause*: NO
Some form of wish?
[Rosie] Wishful thinking? NO
An idea?
Daydream?
[Tuj] Idea? YES, in a way
[Software] Daydream? NO, wrong direction I'm afraid.
Insomnia
Reality?
Nightmare?
[INJ] Wakefulness? NO
[Rosie] Reality? NO
[Software] Mare? NO
some lateral thinking required.
Anything to do with sex?
The mind?
[Rosie] Something to do with sex? YES make of that what you will
[Tuj] The mind? NO, (and yes but that's less helpful).
A result of sexual activity?
I'm going to sleep.
Necessarily to do with reproduction?
A fantasy?
Fictional?
Hmm, along rather the wrong lines at the moment.

[Rosie] Afterglow? NO
[Projoy] Necessary? DEPENDS ON YOUR POINT OF VIEW. For most people, NO
[Software] Fantastical? NO
[Tuj] A fiction? DEPENDS ON YOUR POINT OF VIEW ;-)
A sexual activity?
[Projoy] Sexual activity? NO
To do with sex in the sense of "gender"?
[Projoy] Gender specific

Clue (but not really). Think about dreams (healthy applause but not the right answer) and being to do with sex.
An imaginary thing?
related to a man's world?
[Projoy] Imaginary? I think we can safely say YES
[Dujon] Manly? Not specifically.
An ideal?
[Software] Ideal? NO
A fantasy?
[Rosie] I refer you to an earlier answer. NO.

Think about dreams. Someone else did...
To do with being female?
Actually, scrub that. Is it connected with the subconscious?
[Projoy] Subconscious? *audience applause* YES!
The id?
The superego?
[CdM] Let's not just rush in with a random guess.
Subliminal?
[Software] Sublime? NO
[Projoy] Superlative self? NO
[CdM] Id? *Audience gasps with the audacious guess, then rapturous applause* YES! The word on the card was Id. One baton winging its way over to CdM...
A bit of a lurker's victory, I'm afraid. So I'll atone with a nice easy VEGETABLE.
Is this a LARGE vegetable? ;)
Large? It is neither large nor otherwise.
Edible?
Grass?
Edible? Yes.
Grass No.
*coff* Begins with a P?
Got a feeling it will =)
Is it a vegetable?
Begins with a P? Absolutely not.
A vegetable? No.
A collective noun, e.g. blossom?
Collective noun? No.
Is it man-made?
[CdM] Burst my bubble, eh?
Man-made? I'm not sure one would usually use that term, but the answer is Yes in the sense that it is processed.
Potato crisps/chips?
Chrisps? No.
Canned?
Tofu?
Canned? Can be, but not usually.
Tofu? No.
Is this comprised of a type of tuber?
Can it be fed to animals?
Just need to get that out of my head.
Tuberous? No.
Fed to animals? Um, I don't see any reason why it couldn't be, although perhaps there is something I don't know about animal digestion that would preclude it. I don't think it is fed to animals on any kind of established or regular basis. On the other hand, googling around to investigate that question, I discovered that -- to my surprise -- I should have labeled this "VEGETABLE AND SOMETIMES ANIMAL".
Is it an ingredient in something that is consumed by humans?
Does it consist of multiple small elements?
e.g. Muesli
Some form of oil?
Ingredient? Sometimes, yes.
Mueslish? No.
Oil? No.
Is it something extracted from a plant (or sometimes animal)?
Extracted from a plant? Yes. *applause* (Extracted from an animal? No.)
As a small clue, the "sometimes animal" is not an avenue that you will find worth pursuing. I did not know of the animal connection and would be amazed if anyone here did.
Is it a liquid?
Liquid? Yes.
Fruit smoothie?
Smoothie? No.
Is it a brand name?
Does it have therapeutic qualities?
A syrup (e.g. corn or maple?)
An essential oil (i.e. perfume)?
Does it come in a variety of flavours?
Cutting to the chase
The words on the card are Maple Syrup, and so I will pass a fine hand-carved maplewood baton to irach. Apparently, manufacturers sometimes use a tiny amount of lard (or other animal or vegetable fat) to reduce foaming while boiling the maple sap. So your maple syrup may in fact contain about 0.003% lard. Vegetarians take note.
Lard-dee-dah!!
This one is Mostly MINERAL with possibly abstract connections
Mostly metal?
Does one wear it?
Man made?
Begins with P?
[CdM] Not metal
[Raak] Not worn.
[Software] Not man-made
[Tuj] No "P" involved.
Mostly stone?
[CdM] Not mostly stone.
Does it currently exist?
A terrestial object or phenomenon?
[Tuj] Does currently exist.
[Dujon] Yes , a terrestrial object; many may also describe it as phenomenal.
Mostly harmless?
[CdM] Hmmmm... yes, for the vast majority of people it is, and has been harmless.
Is it unique?
Bigger than Wales?
Mostly water?
[Tuj] Unique? Certainly.
[Raak]Not bigger than Wales
[CdM] Mostly water? Yes!!!
Is it a lake?
The Ganges?
[Raak] Not a lake.
[Dujon] Not the Ganges.
Mostly freshwater?
Is the water liquid?
[CdM] Freshwater.
[Raak] Almost always liquid. In rare instances has been known not to be.
In a single country?
Niagara Falls?
[Tuj] Two nations.
[CdM] Yes.... Niagara Falls it is... the falls froze over completely in 1911...An icicle baton is handed off to you...
Me again? OK, a nice easy ANIMAL this time.
Human?
Human? No.
Dead?
Dead? Um. Well, I think the correct answer is that it was never really alive. Which might make you wonder if it is actually animal at all -- and I admit that I have had to think hard about that. My conclusion is that it *is* animal, though I could see someone making the case that it is vegetable. And still never really living. Or not exactly. Confused? So am I, despite the fact that it really is a simple AVMA topic.
Smaller than a pinhead?
Begins with a P?
Edible?
Fictional?
A Snark, as in the Lewis Carroll poem (Boojum or not)?
Insufficient room for angels? It is of no specific size, but it is not smaller than a pinhead?
Begins with P? No.
Edible? Yes. *some audience chuckling at the juxtaposition of the last two questions*
Fictional? No.
Snarky? No.
Is it unique?
A mineral, despite the classification?
Of marine origin?
Limestone?
Unique? No. (actually, not really a relevant question)
Mineral? No.
Marinal? No.
Limestone? No.
A brain?
A fossil?
Brain? No. (I don't think there would be any ambiguity there.)
Fossil? No. (Not mineral.)
Yeast?
Yeast? No.
Insect like?
liquid?
Insect-like? No (but some *applause*)
Liquid? Usually, yes.
Royal Jelly?
Sorry to ask 2 in a row, but it's a long time between them.
An oil?
Royal jelly? No, but *loud applause*.
Oil? No.
Honey?
Tree sap?
Honey is correct. Is honey more like milk (surely animal), or regurgitated carrots (probably stlll vegetable)? I think the answer is milk, but I'm not sure. *hands somewhat sticky baton to Raak*
The next is MINERAL and ANIMAL, with ABSTRACT connections.
Water off a duck's back?
[i] Not water off (or on) a duck's back.
Is the mineral component metal?
Rats! I was hesitating between Honey & Royal Jelly and decided that I would have put honey as more vegetable-ish.
Human animal?
{S} Not human.
Exceeding dimensional equivalence with a domestic bread grilling machine?
And my metal question?
[INJ] Oops, yes, mostly metal. Bigger than a toaster.
Animal leather?
Is it unique?
Any artistic connections?
[R] Not leather.
[T] Not unique.
[INJ] Yes, artistic, broadly understood.
Movable?
[S] Erm....yes, movable.
Associated with film or television?
Found in the home?
[INJ] applause! Associated with film or television.
[R] laughter! Not found in the home.
Begins with a P?
[T] Does not begin with a P. Bonus answer: there is not a single P on the card.
[Raak] Have you checked on the back as well?
[CdM] It's a Möbius card.
Associated with the *creation* of film or TV content?
[Raak] Ah, ok. Have you checked the edge?
A dalek?
[INJ] Not a dalek.
Pinewood studios
[S] Not a film director's tree hut.
[CdM] Associated with the creation of film or TV content? Like, equipment, screenplays, production crew, etc? No.
TV?
(Rather than film)
[INJ] Yes, TV rather than film.
Dr. Who's Tardis phone booth?
[i] Bigger inside than out? No.
A location or set?
[R] Not a location or set.
Associated with a specific TV programme?
Associated with Star Trek?
[Tuj] Yes, associated with a specific TV programme.
[P] Boldly going? No.
Associated with a children's TV programme?
[K] Not children's TV.
British TV?
[CdM] Not children's TV.
[CdM] Ahem. Yes, British TV.
Red Dwarf?
[S] Not Red Dwarf.
TV drama?
[K] Not TV drama.
Is the animal a character in the TV show (such as Skippy the Wonder Horse)?
[CdM] Not a character.
Comedy?
[S] Yes, comedy.
Monty Python?
[S] *applause* It is Monty Python!
That is, it is from Monty Python. Still a way to go.
The University of Wallamaloo?
Bibo ergo sum.
A Norwegian Blue in a cage?
[R] Not UW.
[CdM] Not pining for the fjords.
Dead bird and cage in the " Dead Parrot" skit?
[i] CdM just asked that.
Does it feature in one of their films?
[GIII] It doesn't feature in any of their feature films, but I couldn't swear that it's not in things like The Secret Policeman's Ball.
Is the animal actually a single animal?
[INJ] some applause Not a single animal.
All things dull and ugly?
[CdM] Not all things dull and ugly.
A bucketful of piranha?
Only a bit larger than a toaster.
[R] *a scattering of applause* Not a bucketful of piranhas.
The zinc stoat?
[S] Not the zinc stoat.
Spiny Norman?
Never mind; that's a single animal.
the name of a species?
[CdM] Not a Spiny Norman.
[P] (Consults Wikipedia.) Can be the name of a species.
From Series 1?
[P] (Consults Wikipedia.) (Consults Google.) (Consults Wikipedia.) (Consults Wikipedia again. Did you know that Line 6 of the Beijing Subway (北京地铁６号线) is currently under construction and is scheduled to be opened in 2012? And that the Öjendorfer See has an area of 460,000 m²?) Yes, Series 1.
A blind bat
(A nod's as good as a wink, know what I mean, say no more)
A hovercraft full of eels?
[P] Not a blind bat.
[INJ] *stock footage of women applauding* It is a hovercraft full of eels! I'm afraid we're all out of batons at the moment, will spam do?
My nipples explode with delight.
Well if that hadn't been correct I think I would have given up.

So, here we go again with a simple ANIMAL

Human?
[SW] Human - YES (there's a good start)
Alive?
Couldn't last
[Rosie] Alive? - NO
Fictional?
[PJ] Made-up name? - NO
Mainly known for artistic connections?
Rattling along nicely
[Raak] Arty-farty? - YES
Died in C20th?
Performer (broadly defined) rather than creator?
(intending no slight to the creative aspects of performance...)
Begins with P?
Pablo Picasso?
Well, come on, Tuj has to be correct once in a while :)
William Morris?
[PJ] died in C20? - NO
[CdM] Performer? - NO (* a few chuckles in the audience*)
[Tuj] P starter? - NO
[Dujon] Picasso? - I'm not going to tell you - (anyway, who's going to set an answer beginning with P now?)
[Rosie] A minor Morris? - NO
Politician?
[Software] Politician? - NO
Died in the C18th or earlier?
[PJ] Ancient? - NO
Died in C21?
By a process of elimination.........
[PJ] Just gone? - NO
OK I give in - died in the 19th century.
Born in the C19?
Deduction r us.
Female?
[Pj] Born in C19? - YES
[CdM] Weaker sex? - NO *ducks missiles from audience*
A painter?
Was English his mother tongue?
Novelist?
British, dammit?
I always think not logging on over the weekend is a good sign
[Rosie] - Painter? - NO
[CdM] Anglophone? - YES
[Pj] Novelist? - NO
[Software] British? - YES
A poet?
[Raak] Poet? - YES *applause*
Tennyson?
I know lurking on AVMA is bad form. I apologise.
It's OK if your guess is wrong
[nights] Tennyson? - NO
Ralph Waldo Emerson?
Let the guessfest commence
[Projoy] RWE? - NO (he's not very British)
Edward Lear?
Are his works typically found on school curricula?
Just trying to get some sense of how major/minor a poet he is. If the question is too vague or difficult to verify, feel free to give me some other kind of answer to the question!)
[Projoy] Pleasant to know? - NO
[CdM] Major/Minor? - I would expect to find him on some school curricula. I expect the vast majority of morniverse contributors to have heard of him without googling.
Robert Browning?
[Projoy] Gravy poet? - NO ([CdM] a poet of a similar public stature to Browning IMO, if that helps)
Kipling?
[Software] An exceedingly good poet? - NO (I haven't checked, but I know he made it well into the C20th)
Gerard Manley Hopkins?
[Projoy] That might or might not be right, but knowing INJ as I do, I can tell you that it is an inspired guess
Associated with a particular region of the world?
[Projoy] GMH? - YES!!! HOPKINS it is.

One instressed baton handed on.

[Projoy] Told you so.
The Projoypartner has recently been very into Inversnaid...

ABSTRACT
Photography?
[Rosie] flash flash grin grin? - NO
Phrase or saying?
Related to the arts?
[Sw] phrase/saying? NOT REALLY (I suppose it is a phrase, strictly speaking)
[INJ] Arts-related? NO.
Something to do with Scotland?
culturally specific?
Seasonal?
[GIII] Scottish? OCH, NO.
[INJ] Culturally specific? YES
[Software] Seasonal? YES *applause*
Christmas-related?
[You and Your Kin(rah)] X-mas the spot? YES! *more applause*
A Christmas Carol?
Santa-related?
[Softers] Christmas Carol? NO
[INJ] Fat trespasser? NO
Does the word "Christmas" appear on the card?
[CdM] Christmas/Card? NO
Seasons greetings?
[SW] Seasons Greetings? NO
Also related to legs?
[Duj] Legs? Um, NO.
Musical connection?
[CdM] Musicky? NO
A state of mind or body?
[Rosie] State? NO
Is the specific culture that of the English-speaking Christian peoples?
Religiousness?
[INJ] Specific to Anglophone Xtians? YES, pretty much.
[Chalky] Religiosity? NO (I'm assuming that was a guess).
Primarily concerned with the religious rather than secular aspects of Christmas?
The Nativity?
[CdM] Spirit over Secularity? NO
[Chalky] The Nativity? NO.
Primarily commercial in nature?
[Chalky] Good to see you back contributing.
[INJ] Commercial? NO (although there is an historical link with commerce)
Food-related?
[Phil yer phace] Phood? NO.
Merry Christmas?
[GL] "Merry Christmas" - NO, not the phrase itself but The Answer could form part of the phrase's referent.
*sounds of discontented pedantic muttering in audience*
The season to be jolly?
Had that in my head for a while, need to get rid of it.
[Kinrah] TSTBJ? NO, but see referent comment above.
Connected to some specific Christmas tradition?
Does it describe a period of time?
[CdM] Specific Tradition? YES
[INJ] Period of time? YES *applause
New Year's Day?
Christmas Day?
Boxing Day
To complete the set
INJ has it! Whereas the other two are Xtian (in general) dates, Boxing Day is more a Commonwealth affair. Over to INJ. *hands box-shaped baton to INJ*
Pausing only to take the ribbon and bow off the baton
OK then, this one is Animal or Vegetable (with Abstract connections)
A musical instrument?
[Raak] Instrumental? - NO
Is it edible?
[Tuj] Food, glorious food? - NO
Manufactured?
As you state Animal OR Vegetable - is this an either/or - or can it be both?
[and thanks INJ for welcome back. I am healing - slowly but shurely :)]
[Projoy] Manufactured - YES
[Chalky] Animal/Vegetable? - Either/Or is probably the most helpful, but in both cases that would be predominantly, rather than entirely.
Is it found indoors?
If animal, then a specific part of an animal?
[Chalky] Indoors? - YES
[Rosie] Specific part of an animal? - YES (at least for the predominant part)
Thinking about my answer to Chalky, the 'predominantly' bit, although true, is probably not helpful. From now on I will ignore the minor elements in my answers unless specifically asked.
Sticky in texture?
Is the vegetable wood?
(I don't think that's the same question as Software just asked...)
Begins with P?
[Chalky] A hearty welcome back from over here too =)
Is the animal bone?
[Software] Like a stick? - NO
[CdM] Like a big stick? - NO
[Tuj] P....? - NO
[Rosie] Bonie? - NO
Does its name describe its function?
Leather?
Like Dan and Dunx, it is well known that Rosie and Raak are the same person, an 80 year old hedgehog-trapper living in the New Forest.
Some sort of covering?
Perfume?
[Projoy] Does what it says on the tin? - NO
[Raak] Leather? - YES - that is the animal component - at least, that's easily a better answer than No
[GLog] A covering? - NO
[Rosie] Smellie? - NO
A lucky rabbits foot?
[Software] Cruelty to lapines? - NO
Functional?
Larger than a toaster?
Is the vegetable a fabric?
[CdM] Functional? - NO * A few 'tut's from a small minority of the audience*
[Chalky] That toaster question - Similar in total volume, depending on the toaster, but differently shaped.
[Projoy] A fabric? - NO (though we might get into a discussion of definitions)
Is it written on?
[Projoy] Written on? - YES *Applause*
Is it a scroll?
Is The Answer the name of a type of document?
[Raak] Scroll? - NO
[Projoy] A type of document - NO - but *applause*
Ornamental?
[Chalky] Ooh, innit pretty? - NO - at least not primarily (or secondarily, or tertially, come to that)
Not Functional/Ornamental - how about Educational?
[Chalky] Educational? - NO (to most values of 'Educational') - some would disagree quite strongly
A plaster cast?
A book?
Is there a specific kind of writing to be found thereon?
[Software] Plaster Cast? - NO
[Chalky] Book? - YES
[Projoy] specific kind of writing? - NO
To summarise, it's a book primarily made of leather that isn't funtional, ornamental or educational?
The Bible?
A specific title.
I hope Rosie has it.
An autograph book?
Getting close
[GLogin] Remember: either Animal or Vegetable
[Rosie] The Bible? - YES, *Applause* But you have not yet got the words on the card
[Projoy] A specific Title? - YES
[Raak] Sign here please? - NO
The Authorised King James Version?
A Gutenberg Bible?
A Gideon's Bible?
We have a winner.
Projoy has it - A/The Gutenberg Bible it is. There were about 180 Gutenberg bibles, about 40 printed on vellum and the rest on paper, giving the either/or.

A leather-bound baton passed on to Projoy

Splendid. OK. Here's another. ABSTRACT/ANIMAL
Is the animal element human?
[Kinrah] Animal human? Strictly speaking, NO. *audience laughter and cries of "bad luck!"*
Is it a mythical animal?
Fictional?
[GL] Mythical? NO
[CdM] Fictional? YES
Best known from Film or TV?
[INJ] Best known from film or TV? NOT SURE. I expect that some would say yes, others no, but no stats available.
(PS. For myself and probably for yourself, the answer would be NO, I suspect.)
The Christmas elf?
[Software] Winterval wellbeing? NO
A character in literature later adapted for the screen?
[INJ] Book > Screen? *much animated whispering in audience* Strictly, NO. *continued animated whispering in audience*
Character in a comedy?
[Rosie] Comedy? YES *applause*
Associated with a particular actor?
[CdM] Particular Actor? Mm. NOT SURE. To me the answer is YES, but it wouldn't be to everyone.
Bottom?
Begins with P?
[Duj] I beg your par... oh, you mean the series Bottom. NO.
[Tuj] P-led? NO
An animated character? [or have we established this and I'm being a bit thick]
Archie Andrews?
[Chalky] Animated? NO
[Rosie] The uneducated one? NO.
From children's literature?
Were they adapted for the stage before TV or film?
[CdM] Kidlit? NO
[GL] A previous stage? NO
Addendum
[INJ] On further thought, I feel like I should change my answer to your adaptation question. As you phrased the question: "A character in literature later adapted for the screen?" the truthful answer is YES, but this isn't a wholly typical case, so check your assumptions.
From works of Shakespeare?
[Chalks] Bardly? *audience laughter* NO.
Is this more than one character?
Is it related to The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?
[Chalky] Multiple? NO
[GL] TLOEG? NO.
Adapted from comics/graphical novels?
Supernatural?
Male?
[INJ] Graphic? NO
[Softers] Supernatural? NO, at least not in the conventional sense.
[Chalky] Male? YES].
In a radio programme?
[INJ] Radio? YES *tumultuous applause*
Won't have 2 guesses in a row, but I think we're close
Well - your addendum helped
Slartibartfast?
From HHGTTG?
Marvin?
[GL] He said it wasn't important? NO
[INJ] H2G2? YES *applause*
[Software] Brain the size...? NO
Ford Prefect?
Zaphod Beeblebrox?
Freow.
[Kinrah] You have hit the subject on one of its two heads! It was ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX, indeed. As you can see, my confusion over the adaptation question arose because of course, while the screen versions followed the book version chronologically, they didn't do so adaptationally, as it were. Plus of course, the character didn't originate in the books.

Over to you, Kinrah. *Hands over a perspex baton shaped like a cricket stump, just before there is the sound of a million billion people saying "Wop"*
I was trying to weigh up whether to go for Zaphod or the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (which has the potential to be part animal), even though I have just realised [Tuj] ruled that out with his 'P' question. Whee. Now, let's see if I can get the formatting right with
ABSTRACT/ANIMAL connections
This shouldn't be too difficult.
Begins with a P?
Glad to see my usual question served a small purpose, Kinrah!
Is it a fictional person?
Rudolf The Red Nose Reindeer - the song?
*correction* RudolPH The Red NoseD Reindeer - the song?
[Tuj] P-aff? *audience laugh... then applause* YES
[GL] Imaginary? NO
[Chalky] Lyric of an oddly coloured creature? NO
Seasonal connections?
A work of art?
[INJ] Seasonally speaking? NO
[Projoy] Arty-farty? NO
Are the animal connections human?
Connected with science?
[Tuj] Humanimal? YES
[Projoy] Psy-ense? After giving it some careful thought, SOMETIMES (but the connection there really isn't worth following)
Culturally specific?
Is it related to psychology?
Involves an action or actions?
To do with religion?
[INJ] Cultural terms? NO
[GL] Psycho-analytic? NO
[Rosie] Requiring effort? NO
[Projoy] Belief system? NO
A feature of the intellect?
Related to politics or public life?
Is The Answer a noun or noun phrase?
[Rosie] Intellectual? NO *audience whispers among itself*
[INJ] Political? NO
[Projoy] Nounal? YES
I've also been considering the science question, and much like Projoy, I'm going to do a bit of a U-Turn; YES FOR A GIVEN VALUE OF SCIENCE. I believe it could be called a science by some people.
A social science?
Connected to the "Paranormal"?
[Projoy] Socially scientific? NO
[GL] Paranormal? NO
To do with the natural world?
Was it invented?
[Projoy] Natural? NO
[Tuj] Created? YES *audience applause*
Is it a type of person?
[Projoy] Demographic? NO
A theory? (Of anything)
Does it exist?
[Rosie] Theory? NO but *very loud applause from audience*
[Projoy] Existential? YES
Heredity?
Something that exists both in theory and in practice?
[Rosie] Passed down? NO
[Projoy] Works both ways? YES
Connected to economics?
Is it really really really small?
Is it a one word answer?
Is it something that can be studied in a reasonably mainstream environment?
Does it end with a Y?
Is it a process?
Sorry about the so long gap - had a LOT of stuff to do over the end of the weekend.
[Projoy] Economical? NO
[Tuj] Teensy-Weensy? DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU ARE COMPARING IT TO *audience laugh*
[Chalky] Just the one? NO
[INJ] Mainstream? YES
[GL] Why-y? NO
[Projoy2] Process? NO *more hushed whispers from audience*
A human activity?
Related to games or entertainment?
A cartoon?
Any medical connections?
[Projoy] Active? NO
[INJ] Move that joystick? NO
[Software] Cartoon? NO
[Rosie] Doctor, Doctor? STRICTLY NO (There is one connection, but it's so far gone from the standard question bounds that it's also not worth looking into.)
Since this is taking much longer than I anticipated (I really hope it's not because I'm giving the wrong answers) as a sort of first hint here's a roundup of what you do know.
Begins with P
Given value of science
Noun
It was invented
Audience gave loud applause to Theory
It exists
It works in both theory and practice
Studied in a mainstream environment
Also, it seems the audience have changed their mind and decided to give some rather late *loud applause* for 'Process'.
The Peter prinicple?
Can we change the audience?
Associated with business or commerce?
Parkinson's Law?
To do with the internets?
Pi?
Sorry if it's been mentioned. I'm ever so wrung out.
[Rosie] Incompetence rising? NO *audience laugh... then quickly fall silent*
[INJ] Businesslike? YES (but in the same way as Theory and Practice)
[Software] Filling the time available? NO
[Projoy] Intarwebs? NO
[Dujon] 3.14? NO-*is deafened by audience applause*
A pie-chart?
Is The Answer a type of number?
Probability?
[INJ] Sliced diagram? NO
[Projoy] Numerical? YES *more applause from the audience*
[Software] What's the chance? NO
Prime number(s)?
Pascal's triangle?
INJ's got it.
Planck's Constant?
Please, miss, can I have another go?
Pythagorus' Theorem?
No, not a theory. How about Fermat's Conjecture?
[INJ] Itself and one? NO
[Rosie1] Triangular numbers? NO
[Rosie2] Quantum mechanics? NO
[Projoy1] Square of the Hypotenuse? N- *audience explodes into applause* NO
[Projoy2] Pythagoras no greater than two? N- *audience applauds even louder, if that's even possible* NO
I'm probably spiraling out from the core but (it goes by a number of names) -"The Golden Square"?
Phi, the Golden Ratio?
If this is right, the winner should really be Dujon.
[Dujon, Rosie] Shiny yellow maths? NO *audience shout "Colder!"*
Pythagoreanism?
Poincaré's conjecture?
Had forgotten it started with P...
(a) Perfect Number(s)?
[Software] Mathematician Philosophy? NO *a few claps from audience*
[Projoy] Ball manifolds? NO
[INJ] Something we've yet to hear from Colin Sell? NO *audience ooh quietly*
Are we in the world of geometry here?
(I was about to suggest a platonic solid, but then realised that the whole point of them is that they don't exist in the real world.)
Oh, it's not a (mathematical) proof, is it?
Can I just say, btw, that this AVMA is (a) bloody hard and (b) very enjoyable.
[Projoy] Shaping the world? YES
(Taking the other one as a question as well) [Projoy2] Demonstrating true maths? YES
Glad you like it. I still hope that it's not taking this long because I'm answering the questions wrong. Just for another hint though; one of the questions I answered NO to earlier has got something to do with the answer, but I took the question to mean the definite article, as it were, because that's what I suspect it was intended as.
Pappus' Theorem?
Getting a bit arcane.
Polynomials?
A protractor?
I know it's wrong but I have to get it out of my head. I generally think it's a bad thing to know the first letter. Leads to all kinds of weird guesses.
Does the answer include the name of a mathematician?
I was sure Software was right until I noticed the answer to the "proof" question.
Is it, in fact a proof of Fermat's Last Theorem?
[Rosie] Surface areas? NO
[Software] Maths expression? NO
[Projoy] Angle measurer? NO
[CdM] Clue in the name? YES *audience applause*
[Projoy2] Proving the square? YES *more applause*
A Pythagorean Triple?
We're there.
[Rosie] Correct, it was indeed a Pythagorean Triple!
My confusion with some of the earlier questions arose when trying to work out whether mathematics could be classed as a science or not. But by reaching the correct answer I can rest easy knowing that if any of my answers were wrong, they weren't so wrong as to block out the answer completely.

One triangular baton handed over to Rosie.
(I can't resist pointing out that although I had never previously heard of "a Pythagorean triple", I still came quite close to winning that round! Good clues.)
*can't resist pointing out that she has never heard of a Pythagorean Triple and didn't even come close to asking any relevant questions but happily embraces fresh knowledge*
3,4,5 and all that
(Projoy, Chalky) Yes, I'd agree it doesn't quite trip off the tongue in the same way that Pythagorean Triangle does though it is a quite genuine mathematical term. BTW, did you know that 3 cubed plus 4 cubed plus 5 cubed equals 6 cubed?
OK, this is ANIMAL
Human?
(Projoy) Human? - YES.
Watt?
I'll go away now.
Still Alive?
(Dujon) Mr Steam Engine? - alas, NO.
(GL) Alive? - YES. Still alive? - A separate question
In entertainment?
Fictional?
(Softers) Entertainment? - NO, and for some, not in any way whatsoever.
(Projoy) Fictional? - NO. You may have been misled by my supplementary to Gusset Login in which I had taken his question to be "Alive and very old?" This person exists.
Born before 21st December 1969?
Born before 1940?
(Gusset Login) - A fortified over-forty? - YES.
(Projoy) At least a couple of years older than me? - YES.
Begins with P?
This question definitely coloured the last round strongly, although I'm not sure for better or for worse.
(Tuj) - Won't help here - does not begin with P.
Would a wheelchair come into this equation?
(Dujon) - Wheelchair-bound? - NO
Male?
(Gusset Login) - Male? - He is.
Political?
British?
(Softers) - Political? - NO .
(Projoy) - British? - NO.
Scientific?
American?
(Softers) - Scientist? - NO.
(Projoy)- American? - YES.
An entertainer?
(Chalky) - Entertainer? - Strictly speaking NO, but see Softers' first question. *some scattered mild applause*
Sporting?
(Projoy) - Sporting connection? - NO, none known.
Professorial?
(Softers) - Not a professor
Journalist?
(Projoy) - Hacking away? - NO.
In architecture?
(Projoy) - NO, not an architect. I know very little about American architects.
Does he belong in the broad category of 'religious'
(Dujon) - Known for his religion? - NO, although he is actually quite devout. Happy Christmas, mate.
A writer?
Would this man have connection with Jazz (perhaps as a clarinet player)?
DAMN!
Please ignore that question, Rosie.
(Projoy) - Not a writer.
(Dujon) OK, if you insist. *audience turn to each other, bewildered.*
Military?
You brushed aside 'entertainer' (Chalky's query and Software's earlier reference). As I find jazz entertaining therefore my second thought.
Would this man have connection with Jazz (perhaps as a clarinet player)?
I'm a glutton for punishment, me.
(Dujon) A jazzer? - He certainly is. *audience cheers and applauds*
(Projoy) - Not a military man.
Are you really saying you don't class jazz as entertainment?
(Projoy) It can be, and the subject of this AVMA is undoubtedly grateful for the money it generates but he would not be flattered to be called merely an entertainer, unlike say a comedian, who needs an audience above all else.
An instrumentalist (i.e. not a singer)?
(Projoy) - Instrumentalist? - YES.
Plays a brass instrument?
Was this gentleman once a part of Lawrence Welk's orchestra?
(Projoy) - Brass instrument? - NO.
(Dujon) - A middle-of-the-roader? - NO. *audience splutters in embarrassed amusement*
Is the man known for his artistry with a 'free reed' instrument.
I'm just narrowing the field.
(Dujon) - Reed instrument - NO.
Is this jazz instrumentalist NOT particularly entertaining?
:-) :-)
Given Chalky's drum roll: A percussionist?
Dave Brubeck?
(Chalky) - YES, not always easy listening, you could say.
(Dujon) Someone who hangs around with musicians? - well, actually he does, of course, because PROJOY has it. It's the great DAVE BRUBECK, 89 the other day. Well persisted, Pj. Your go.
Gosh! I must clearly take more pains in future to be less entertained when I listen to Blue Rondo à la Turk...

The next is ABSTRACT/ANIMAL...
Figurative?
Animal human?
(Proj) Me too, but not everybody. Have you tried playing it? Brubeck must have colossal maulers.
Begins with P?
[Raak] Figurative? KIND OF. Not sure which is the most helpful answer.
[Rosie] Human? YES and NO, but then again, NO
[Tuj] P-headed? NO
Mortality?
[Rosie] Le Grand Mort? NO (for that would also apply to vegetable matter, I think)
Does this apply to Life in the David Attenborough sense?
[Rosie] I'm not quite sure how to interpret the question.
Incidentally, I now realise there should have been some *applause* for your "Mortality" question.
Music-y?
Does it represent a state of mind?
(Pj) penult. question - Yes, it is a bit obscure. I was knackered and not totally sober after a prolonged bout of pub piano-tuning and payment in kind.
[Chalks] Musical? NO
[Rosie] State of mind? NO
Is it an observation on the behaviour of animals, including humans?
Sentience?
[Rosie] Observation? NO, a bit less abstract than that.
[Dujon] Sentience? NO
Was it invented?
[Proj] "YES and NO, but then again, NO" was a beautiful answer.
[Tuj] Invented? YEEES, I guess so. Not in the same sense as seed drills and nuclear reactors were, tho.
To do with ghosties and ghoulies?
A theory of behaviour?
[Chalky] Grabbed by the... NO, but you're moving in the right direction.
[Rosie] Theory? NO
Fictional?
Tough start here!
Is this a human idea or construct?
I think I see a glimmer of light...
[Tuj] Fictional? YES *a single pedantic audience member (probably Breadmaster) clears his throat disapprovingly at this answer, but everyone else ignores him*
[Duj] A human construct? YES
connected with Religion?
[Chalky] Religious connection? YES! *applause*
A dietary proscription?
[Rosie] Thou shalt not scoff? NO
Nativity thingy?
[Softers] Nativity? NOT AT ALL *audience laughter*
The Koran
May Allah forgive me.
The Priory of Sion?
[Duj] In the name of... NO
[GL] Dan Brown fuel? NO
Specific to one religion?
The Resurrection?
[Rosie] Specific to one religion? YES
[Chalky] And on the third day? NO
A form of sacrifice?
Nirvana?
[Rosie] Virgins and stone tables? NO
[GL] Smells Like Jain Spirits? NO
Quick and helpful New Year recap, disregarding unhelful byways: This is fictional*, connected with religion, and the audience have reacted positively to "mortality" and negatively to "nativity".
* unless you're amazingly pedantic
(oh, and the animal part is human to some extent, but then again not at all)
A particular (i.e. specific) god?
[Duj] A specific god? YES *audience applause*
Buddah?
In the ancient Greek pantheon?
[Softers] Fat guy? NO
[INJ] Kronos 'n' Co.? NO
Oops. That was me.
Is it one of the hindu gods?
Ganesh?
[GL] Brahma 'n' brigade? NO, and therefore
[CdM] Elephant-Head? NO (smart guess :))
An Egyptian deity?
[Duj] Egyptian? YES
Ra?
Amun?
I think we're nearly there...
[CdM] Ra? NO
[Amun] Amun? NO
Horus?
Osiris?
...and ever closer...
[GL] Horus? NO
[CdM] Osiris? NO
Anubis?
The Day of the Jackal
[Duj] You got it! ANUBIS is the answer on the card. *hands over baton inscribed with weird hieroglyphs*
Accepts in terror the bottom end of the staff.
As I typed my acceptance a flock of cockatoos flew over this my nest. Is it an omen or a red herring?
To be honest I don't know how this will work given my/our time difference. Let me think for a short while, please?
ANIMAL ABSTRACT
Is it a fictional human?
Anything specifically Australian?
Connected with the arts?
[GL] A papier mache man? NO
[Rosie] A beer drinking monotreme? NO
[INJ] Perhaps - but in the sense of which I surmise you ask the question - NO
Don't take the 'perhaps' as a clue. It isn't.
Begins with P?
[Tuj] Err, well, NO
Ladies and gentlemens, this is not going to work. The time difference does indeed put up some sort of barrier.
Perhaps Projoy might nominate a replacement?
Mythical?
Is the animal element human?
[Dujon] Don't give up on it yet. When CdM returns from his travels he'll be in your time zone, and Rosie operates on Hughestime, which is completely different from anyone else. Perhaps Flerdle needs to take a look in as well.
Is the abstract element fictional?
[Dujon] Don't give up. The game's more fun when a number of questions get backed up.
(INJ) I was just going to say the same thing. HMT has come into its own. I'll ask a question when I get back from the pub and Dujon has finished his breakfast.
A single unique thing?
Is this a well known phrase or saying?
All right then.
[Softers] As in feeble minds? NO
[INJ] A bipedal brain? NO
[GL] That, my friend, is a jolly good question. My answer must be that the subject exists but at the same time it doesn't. Therefore I am forced to YES
[Tuj] The one and only? YES
[Chalky] It is well known but it's not, other than by its description, that which you intimate. Ergo NO
Do we seek a single-word answer?
[Tuj] To be brutal and honest - NO
Invented?
I've got to say I'm much better at throwing the odd curveball in than staging an inquisition myself! Maybe I should set my watch to HMT so I know when Rosie's due...
[Tuj] That could well depend on the hours that Rosie's publican keeps combined with the depth of snow and black ice?
Invented? Not in the sense of the wheel, the steam engine or the loom, but invented it is. YES
Specific to a particular country or culture?
Ah, good international weather awareness! I can't imagine Rosie'd think a pub too bad a place to be snowed in.
Is the animal aspect mammalian?
[GL] YES
[Tuj] Sorry, I missed your last. Cultural or otherwise NO
Connected with food?
Something that is significant because of its status?
(e.g.the last mammoth)
I think under the circumstances I can allow myself to stack up questions - normally I'd wait for another intervening one.
Is it closely associated with literature?
[INJ] à la carte? NO
[INJv2] Given the situation I have no objection, ImNotJohn, but it's really up to the other participants.
In the sense that it is unique of its kind (although it has competitors in the fame stakes) YES
*audience is now stirring and seems to be taking a little more interest*
[GL] NO
Is it related to a particular form of media?
Mediation
Ooh heck, you do toss down the odd googly don't you?
In itself I would have to answer NO but in practical sense I would be inclined to YES
In other words the question is a wee bit too loose to pass a definitive judgment.
Was a particular writer responsible for this?
[Projoy] I would refer you to my earlier answer to Gusset Login relative to alphabetical verbiage. So NO
[Projoy] I will relent on my previous comment - but only to the extent that someone named it. To find out who did the deed I would need some more research, but I think that the effort would be pointless.
*The audience has reverted to its (or their) original attitude - heads up and staring at the roof of the auditorium*
Is the animal part of a particular mammalian species?
Is the abstractness because this is imaginary?
Rather than real but not pin-downable.
Does the answer contain more than three words?
Is the answer related to any form of entertainment?
[INJ] A viewpoint? YES
*Lots of movement and a few murmurs in the dress circle*
[GL] Triple plus NO
[INJ] A three ring circus? NO
[Projoy] Sorry, I've done it again.
A part of a mammalian species? NO
CLUE: The animal portion refers to a particular mammal but not to one of its named variations.
Is it a bear?
Is it a star constellation?
Just getting it out of my head.
[Tuj] Ursine? NO
*Every single audience member is now awake*
[Kinrah] Join the dots? NO ... BUT
*The audience has burst into applause, feet are being stamped on floorboards and a collective breath has been taken*.
Sirius?
An asterism?
I think the audience are just trying to keep warm, like the rest of us "up" here.
The Zodiac?
Leo?
Within the solar system?
[I have instructed the audience to 'tone it down a bit'. As you probably know they do tend to become over excited at times]
[Projoy] The dog with a waggly tail? NO
[Rosie] A casually recognised pattern of stars? NO
*The audience though is murmuring and beginning to look expectant*.
[Gusset Login] The ecliptically organised? NO
*Audience reaction was a decently loud ripple of applause.*
[Projoy] The King of the jungle? NO (see the answer to Kinrah above)
[INJ] Within the orbit of Sol? NO
[INJ] Sorry, my answer was looser than my collar. I should have said that it most surely does not orbit Sol, unless you take the sun's influence as the be-all and end-all of the Universe.
A galaxy?
Horsehead Nebula?
[Kinrah] One of the Andromedan look alikes - elliptical, spiral or otherwise? NO
*The audience has settled back but still looks interested*
[Gusset Login]The equine embodiment of bodylessness? YES
Offers a bed, sheets and the subject - plus a stick - to the winner.
OK, my turn I guess, MINERAL with ANIMAL (and possibly abstract) connections.
Human animal?
[Kinrah] YES and NO
Android?
[Software] A dreamer of electric sheep? NO
Begins with P?
Well played, Dujon =)
[Tuj] P...? NO
Relative to palaentology?
Congratulation on the win. To me it seemed like a pretty decent sprint to the finish. :)
Depiction of a living thing in some material?
A rubbing of sorts?
[Dujon] Dinosaur's Uncle? NO.
[Rosie] Depiction of the living? YES, would be the more helpful answer, though not technically the more accurate.
[Dujon II] Rubbing? NO
*The audience members, who helped a lot with the last round, begin to return from the bar and retake their seats*
A tombstone or similar memorial?
In stone?
[CdM] A memorial? YES
[Rosie] Stoned? NO
A unique item?
A statue?
[Tuj] One of a kind? In that there is only one of it, YES.
[Dujon] Statue? YES
*A smattering of applause from the audience*
A statue of a specific dead individual?
The Angel of the North?
[CdM] One Dead Person, Immortalised? YES, but not exclusively (See Kinrah's first question)
[Rosie] t'Angel? NO
An equine statue?
[Projoy] an equestrian statue? YES
Richard the Lionheart?
You know - the one outside parliament.
[INJ] Cœur de Lion? NO, but I do know the one you mean.
In Britain?
[CdM] British? NO
Colleoni statue in Venice?
[Chalky] Water Polo Pony? NO
In the US?
[CdM] Merkin? NO
European?
[INJ] Europe? YES
*The Audience mutter, possibly in anticipation or possibly the bar is running low on spirits again*
Does this reside in the Capitoline Museums (Rome)?
[Dujon] Roman Museums? NO
Is/was the human a monarch?
[INJ] The King/Queen? YES
To clarify an early answer in light of what is now known, I feel I should point out that although the statue is not stone its pedestal may be.
France?
Germany?
[Software] French? NO
[Projoy] German? NO
Greece?
Western Europe?
As defined by the pre-1989 'Iron Curtain'
[Chalky] Greek? NO
[INJ] Capitalist Running Dogs? NJET
Russia?
[Projoy] Russian? YES
Lenin's statue in Red Square?
[Softers] The guy on the horse is not Lenin but I'm not going to name him here 'cos all I've been doing is lurking. It begins with Z.
Erratum. It can't be the Zhukov statue because it would fall foul of the "Monarch" question. The same goes for Lenin, for that matter.
The statue of Peter the Great in St Petersburg?
[INJ] Peter the Great? There's more than one famous statue of Peter the Great in St Petersburg. Which one did you mean?
The Bronze Horseman
The one perched on the great big rock - which Wikipedia tells me is called the 'Thunder Stone'
[INJ] Медный всадник? YES. Well done ImNotJohn, have a batton.
And on we go
This one shouldn't be too hard
ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
A depiction of some kind?
[Kinrah] - Depiction? - I think 'NO' is the most useful answer, although for some people the answer might well be different. It could be argued both ways.
A statue?
[Software] Statue? - NO
Is it a fictional character?
[Glogin] Made-up? - YES
Begins with P?
Fictional human?
[Tuj] Pplus - NO *some muttering in the audience*
[CdM] Human? - NO
Female?
[Tuj] Distaff? - NO
Anthropomorphic?
[GLogin] Anthropomorphic? - YES, though there's room for discussion
Cartoon character?
Deceased?
[Chalky] - Cartoon? - YES *considerable muttering in the audience*
[Tuj] - RIP? - NO (or, more strictly, Not Applicable)
Bugs Bunny?
Began as a cartoon?
[Software] Wabbit? - NO
[Projoy] Originally Cartoon? - NO
Originated in the C20?
Homing in on it quickly
[Projoy] So last century? - YES
The Pink Panther?
Began in books?
[Kinrah] Panther? - NO
[Projoy] Originally in books? - YES *audience are beginning to gather up bags, coats etc.*
Winnie the Pooh?
A small long eared mammal?
Didn't think that would take long
We have a winner. Winnie ille Pu it is. I suspect Projoy might have been thinking of him for a couple of guesses.

One hunny-covered baton passed on.

I wasn't, actually. It just so happened that Simon Hoggart's parliamentary sketch on Thursday mentioned a Heffalump trap, so that brought him to mind. Would Pooh also be vegetable? What's he made of?

Anyhoo, here's a VEGETABLE.
edible?
I started off thinking about a Teddy Bear (possibly Aloysius), but the 'what is it made of?' question was a bit of a problem, so Pooh was easier as an abstract.
Harvested?
Living?
Edible?
Round?
Wood?
This obviously doesn't count as stacking questions since CdM's taken over my previous one (unless the initial capital is significant).
[Kinrah] Harvested? *considerable audience laughter* NO
[GL] Alive, alive-o? NO
[CdM] Edible? NO *more audience laughter*
[Tuj] Round? NO *yet more audience laughter*
[INJ] Wood? NO.
An object made of vegetable matter?
Unique?
[Rosie] Object made of veg. matter? YES
[Tuj] One is one and all alone and evermore...? NO
Begins with P?
Since more orthodox questions drew blanks
[Tuj] P, please, Bob? NO, not as the item is expressed on the card
Is it more utilitarian than decorative or artistic?
[Rosie] Utility? Hm. Interesting question. I think YES is the most helpful answer, although the more strictly correct answer is NO.
Is it associated with a particular room?
[Tuj] Its own space? NO, not really.
Culturally specific?
Normally seen outdoors?
[CdM] Specific to a particular culture? YES
[Rosie] Predominantly an outdoor thing? NO
Is it specific to a particular western culture?
A rubber plant?
....American condom factory....
[GL] A particular Western Culture? YES
[Rosie] Rubber? NO
Is the specific Western culture either Icelandic or British?
[CdM] Björk/Boudica? YES
Is it made of wicker?
Can we eliminate Icelandic specificity?
[GL] Wicker, man? NO
[Rosie] Non-Icelandic? YES
Does this involve string?
[Rosie] No strings attached.
Does it involve paper?
[GL] Papery? YES! *applause*
A globular paper lampshade?
The House at Pooh Corner?
(the book, not the abode)
[Rosie] Seventies interior decor nightmare? NO
[CdM] Pooh-ey book? NO
A book?
[GL] Big papery thing tied up with string? (or glue for that matter) NO
Is it likely that any member of the morniverse owns one of these?
[CdM] Morniversal ownership? PRETTY LIKELY. I don't, as it happens.
A periodical publication?
Wallpaper?
[Tuj] Beano? NO
[Soft] Anaglypta? *laughter* NO
primarily decorative?
Does it take the form of a single sheet of paper?
[INJ] Primarily decorative? SEE ABOVE (I said that the most helpful thing is to think of it as functional, but the more strict answer in this particular case might be that it's decorative)
[CdM] A single sheet? YES *applause*
Recap, as there seems to be a generalised torpor...
This "Vegetable" is a single sheet of paper (of which there are many instances), most helpfully described as functional, from Britain.
Is it usually affixed to a wall?
A map or chart of some sort??
Sorry - missed Rosie's previous question.
Christmas card?
[GL] Wall? NO
[INJ] Topographical? NO
[Soft] Xmas card? NO
A doiley?
Does it have words printed on it?
[INJ] Like the Irish Parliament? NO
[Rosie] Words thereon? YES!
Is it something that would be used as advertising?
Beer mat?
I think you still need a couple more deductive questions...
[GL] PR? NO
[Soft] Beer mat? NO
Is it smaller than a credit card?
Is it larger than a bath towel?
[Chalky/GL] It is larger than a credit card and smaller than a bath towel.
Fish & Chip newspaper?
Does one write on this?
Is it a legal document?
[INJ] Newspaper? NO
[Rosie] For writing on? NO
[Tuj] A legal document? YES. *hearty applause mixed in with a couple of questioning murmurs*
The Magna Carta?
Although I doubt it, because checking back I see that Projoy set that before, and I guessed it...
[CdM] My memory is indeed that long and it isn't the Magna Carta :-)
Is there a requirement that it be on display in certain locations?
Related to a specific city?
A "Last Will and Testament"
Hm. Still something you're missing.
[CdM] Mandated display? NO
[Tuj] City-specific? NO
[irach] Give the spoons to Cousin Doris? NO
Is it blank on one side?
Birth Certificate?
[CdM] Blank on either side? NO
[Software] Baby Receipt? NO
Are all the instances identical copies of a single identifiable original?
A certificate of achievement?
[CdM] Copies of a single...? YES, TO A CERTAIN EXTENT, AND YET, IMPORTANTLY, NOT QUITE.

[Rosie] Achievement? NO
A certificate of some sort?
[GL] Not a certificate.
A ten shilling note?
Ah ha!!
[CdM] A ten-shilling note? NO *tumultuous applause*
A pound note?
[Rosie] Well carpe'd! The words on the card are: A Series D One Pound Note. Please accept this as your prize money:
Isaac Newton's on the back

*hands rolled up note to Rosie*
Oops. Sorry vincelewis. Here's how it looked...
Oscar accpetance speech
I owe everything to CdM. *breaks down and weeps uncontrollably*.

*Pulls self together* Stop giggling at the back there and announces that the next subject is

ABSTRACT with MINERAL and ANIMAL connections.

Altogether now... a human construct?
Is the animal human?
Is it a fictional location?
e.g. Gotham City, Hogwarts or Moon Base Alpha
(Projoy) - Not in the way we all know and love.
(INJ) Human? - YES, but this connection is not the most important.
(GL) - Fictional location? - NO.
Begins with a P?
Fictional?
Any sort of entertainment?
(Tuj) - Pinitiation? - NO.
(Projoy) - Fictional - NO.
(Raak) - Entertainment? - NO, not at all.
Connected with the natural world?
An activity?
Science-related?
(Damn! I was almost sure I had that last one right. I probably would have gotten it right, too, if I had remembered that pound notes weren't circulating any more (something that I knew but had not really absorbed , if you see what I mean).)
A single-word answer?
[CdM] Remind me not to ask you for change for a fiver ;)
[CdM] Strictly speaking, there are still RBoS pound notes in legal circulation in the UK, and there are also pound notes in the Channel Islands and probably other places, hence my being forced to choose a specific note series rather than just "a one pound note". I almost went for the Duke of Wellington fiver. I must admit, that last one seemed to go down a wrong turning, but I think I was right to say "yes" to "a legal document".
(INJ) - Mountains, typhoons, worms etc? - YES, partly.
(Projoy) - NOT an activity.
(CdM) - Science-related? - NO, not directly.
(Tuj) - One word? - NO, four times NO.
Does this occur naturally?
(Projoy) - A natural occurrence? - NO.
Do animals make it happen?
(Projoy) - Caused by animals? - Let's say there's a contribution.
Weather or Climate related?
(Projoy) - Weather or climate related? - YES. *applause*
The Greenhouse Effect?
Specific to a restricted geographical location or zone?
(GL) - Greenhouse effect, anthropogenic or otherwise? - NO.
(INJ) - Specific location or zone? - YES.

I should add that the weather/climate connection is by no means the whole picture.

Chernobyl fall-out?
That reminds me of a very old joke.
Something that happens because of the weather?
Specific to wintry weather?
(ISP) - Growing extra fingers etc.? - NO.
(Projoy) - YES. *some applause*
(INJ) - Wintry weather? - NO, not speciifically, but...
The rain in Spain ?
(irach) - Las lluvias? - NO, señor.
Anything to do with cicadian rhythms?
Windy?
(Projoy) - Did you mean circadian?. The answer is NO, anyway.
(Softers) - Windy? - Very much so, Gary. *applause*. But see my comment 3 answers back.
A weather forecast?
(GL) - Weather forecast? - NO. See the penultimate reply to Projoy.
Something that happens *after* the weather than causes it, then?
(post hoc ergo propter hoc)
s/than/that. Dunno what's going on with my spelling lately.
(Projoy) - Caused by the weather? - YES, but by no means wholly. *Moderate applause. Good.* BTW, according to Derek and Clive it's "yer post hocter proc, mate."
A geological feature?
Sorry I'm late. Computer illiteracy (continuing). Bah!
(Dujon) - Geological feature? - NO.
(All) This is not a natural occurrence. See early question by Projoy.
Does mineral activity also contribute to making this happen?
(Projoy) - Mineral activity involved? Rather an unusual way of putting it, but the answer is YES. *some applause*
Wind power generation?
Where animal activity contributes to making this thing, is this exclusively about human activity?
(INJ) - Big windmills? - NO.
(Projoy) - Animal contribution human? YES.
Would this generally be considered unfavourable?
Is this is 'A well-known phrase or saying in four words?'
(INJ) - Unfavourable? - Again, very much so, Gary.
(Chalky) - "All men are fools"? - Not a phrase or saying but a well-known combination of 4 words, shall we say. Includes the definite article.
"The Bloody English Weather"?
To do with erosion?
(Pj) - The vile elements? - NO, but there's a contribution.
(INJ) - Erosion? - NO.
Reminder: Weather is only a part of this.
Anything to do with work?
(Projoy) - Work-related? - NO.
(All) A change of tense in some of the questions would be quite helpful.
Is this something that happened in the past?
(Chalky) - An event in the past? - YES. *cheering, applause, etc*
Did this happen in the UK?
(Chalky) - Happened in the UK? - YES.
Before 1953?
(Projoy) - When ah were a lad, or earlier? - YES
Before 1900?
After 1912?
(Projoy) - Before 1900? - YES.
(Gusset Login) - Not the Titanic. :-)
If I said it was cold would I be getting warm?
Before 55 B.C.?
(Duj) - Essentially cold? - NO. My guess is at the time of this event the temperature was about 6°C, which I suppose is a bit chilly for an Aussie.
(GL) - Pre-Roman? - NO.
Before 1812?
Before 1700?
The Little Ice Age?
(GL) - Before 1812? NO.
(Projoy) - Before 1700? - NO?
(Softers) - Global, or at least European, cooling? - NO.

This is an event, caused mainly by the weather.

A shipwreck?
(The Mystery of the Mary Celeste, for instance?)
(Projoy) - Shipwreck? - NO, moving in the right direction. *some scattered applause*.
A maritime event?
The weather-caused destruction of a building?
A Tsunami?
(Projoy) - Maritime event? - In one sense, YES, just about, but no ships involved.
(CdM) - Building destroyed by weather? - Well, I wouldn't call it a building. *Some applause*
(Softers) - Tsunami? - NO.
A hurricane?
Happened on the coastline?
The Tay Bridge Disaster?
Topical, if so!
Projoy has got it...
(CdM) - He has. It's THE TAY BRIDGE DISASTER. Well done, Projoy. Poetry, please. I hand you the single-line token and a piece of Dundee cake.
It was on the second of February, and in the year two thousand and ten
A day that will be remembered for a very long time by all men
That a very good AVMA puzzle was solved by Projoy
Causing all the players to jump up and down for joy.
[CdM] :)
Glad I got that, but being a bit maxed out with work at the mo, I think I have to pass to someone else to set one. I guess first come, first served...?
(CdM) - Excellent. I chortle, not doing ROFLMAO. You could set the next one.
All right, since I have had one in my head for a while. This is

Possibly VEGETABLE with ABSTRACT CONNECTIONS but probably ABSTRACT with VEGETABLE CONNECTIONS
Is the vegetable a tree?
Begins with a P?
Oh, the emotional rollercoaster of being an audience member...
A tree? Yes. *excited applause*
Beginning with P? No. *disappointed silence*
A diagram of some kind?
Diagram? No.
The Wind in the Willows?
Wind in the Willows? No.
Alive?
A specific, named tree?
The Tree of Life?
Alive? No. *laughter*
A specific named tree? Yes. *applause*
Tree of life? No.
The Tyburn Tree?
In the UK?
The Faraway Tree?
I wonder why I haven't bought any Enid Blyton for my new daughter...
Tyburn Tree? No.
In the UK? No.
Faraway Tree? No.
A small clarification to my answer to Projoy: this is a specific tree, but it's probably not correct to call it a "named" tree. The words on the card describe rather than name it.
The Tree of Knowledge?
The burning bush?
Tree of knowledge? No.
Burning bush? No.
Is it a specific tree because of a record property it has?
Apologies for the double post, but I'm logging off in a couple of minutes
Is it a palm tree on a desert island?
Record property? No.
Palm tree? No.
Would this be symbolic tree (as on the flag of a nation)?
A symbolic tree? Um. I think the best answer is No, or at most: Sort of, but not really.
On the flag of a nation? No.
Is it mentioned in an authentic historic text?
Not a txt msg.
Mentioned in a historical text? *applause for the question* I think the best answer is No, but I really need to know what you mean by "an authentic historical text".
Mentioned in a document?
(CdM) - Yes, a bit vague. I meant The Bible, Koran, etc.
Oak Apple Day?
Bible, Koran, etc? No.
Oak Apple Day? No.
A family tree?
Again, getting it out of my head.
Family tree? No.
The tree chopped down by some ancient Usatian vandal?
The Cherry Tree chopped down by George Washington?
Is it a tree from an historical/semi-legendary story?
Yes, yes, and again yes.
The words on the card are The Cherry tree allegedly chopped down by the young George Washington. The story is probably fabricated, hence my classification. I am pretty certain that this was exactly what INJ was referring to, so I think he should get the rather nicely turned cherrywood baton ahead of GL.
I agree, I would have had to turn it down anyway due to lack of free time.
Well, thank you
[GL] Very gentlemanly of you Sir or Madam. Right, after a somewhat busy weekend, we'll start again with:
ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections - or - ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections - Depends on your pov
Is the animal human?
[Chalky] human? - NO
A mammal?
[Chalky] mammalian? - NO
A Dragon?
The serpent in the Garden of Eden?
News International get everywhere.
Insect?
Fictional?
Not many more orders to try
[GL] Hidden Dragon? - NO
[Rosie] herpetological? - NO
[Software] Insect? - NO
[Kinrah] Made-up? - Well, that's why the question is posed as it is. FWIW, my answer is YES, and I suspect that would apply to most, but maybe not all, of the contributors to the morniverse.
To do with religion?
[Projoy] smells and bells? - YES (*a small ripple*)
I did rather signal that, didn't I?
Something from Judeo-Christian legend/history?
Angelic?
A sacred animal in some religion?
[Projoy] Judeo-Christian? - YES
[Dujon] Non angli sed angeli? - NO
[Rosie] Baal-lamb? - NO
Devilish?
A character from the Old Testament?
[Software] From the very dark side? - NO
[CdM] OTT? YES
A bird?
[Rosie] Avian? - YES *applause*
Dove-ish?
[Software] Dived? - NO
A raven?
[Projoy] Raven? - YES * Applause and the noise of coats being put on, bags being picked up, etc.*
The raven that couldn't find the olive tree?
We have a winner
Very impressive - I thought that would prove a little more difficult.
The answer is indeed The Raven that was the first bird released from the Ark
One gopher-wood baton handed on
Oops. Was working all day. I think I might have to pass again, as still rather behind with work. The floor is open.
It's been sitting here for a while, so I'll take it.

ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and sometimes MINERAL connections
Fictional?
Are the animal connections non-human and mammal?
[Tuj] Made up? YES
[irach] Mammalian but non-human? NO
Does this come from a work of fiction such as a novel?
Animal human?
[Rosie] Bookish? YES and NO
[INJ] Humanity? YES
From a non-novelistic work of fiction?
Is the mineral metal?
Religion based?
[Projoy] Fictional? YES
[GL] Metal? CAN BE
[Dujon] Religous? NO
A weapon?
Science fiction?
[Dujon] Object capable of harm? NO *animated whisperings from audience*
[Software] SciFi? CAN BE, but it would be more helpful if I said NO
From the world of motion pictures?
[INJ] YES and NO; however again NO is more helpful.
Begins with P?
Is the mineral liquid?
[Tuj] P-to the rest of it? NO
[INJ] Liquidity? NO
Is the Abstract a quality ascribable to humans?
[Rosie] Quality of humanity? NO
Is the animal a single identifiable person?
[INJ] A single identity? VERY NO.
A single-word answer?
A particular battle?
[Tuj] One word? To be honest it depends on whether you're being definitive, in which case the answer is YES, or whether you're being more abstract, in which case NO. Either way you won't get a very helpful answer.
[Dujon] A battle? Some could call it a battle, but it's going to help more if I say NO
A riot or similar unruly assembly?
A cause? (e.g. Suffragettes)
[Rosie] I predict a riot? NO
[Dujon] Group with a common goal? NO
Any chance of a clue?
[Tuj] I don't see why not.
A run through of what you know:
It is fictional
Involves humans in some way
The mineral can be metal at times
Not a weapon but the audience seemed to like the word
Nowhere near a single person

If I had to give an extra clue: it is a game. I can't get more blunt than that.
Does or has the game exist(ed) in the real world as well as the fictional one?
Is it something akin to chess pieces?
Lewis Carroll connection?
[Rosie] I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you please elaborate?
[Dujon] Chess pieces? NO
[irach] Alice related? NO
Nought's and Crosses?
(tic-tac-toe to our American Morniversers)
[Software] O&X? NO
Boardo?
(Kinrah) You say it's a game and is fictional, which to me could mean it only takes place in a story and could be a game that does not exist in the real world (e.g. competitive vole-polishing). Or it could be a known game between fictional contestants, such as Melchester Rovers etc.
[GL] Checkmate, I'll take that card? NO some whisperings from audience
[Rosie] Ohh. I meant fictional as in the story behind the game is fictional, as opposed to something based on a true story. I apologise if you didn't read it that way. Yes, the game exists in the real world, whether the players are fictional or not is entirely up to a writer's discretion.
Is the result of the game significant to the story?
Nonsense - is it?
Fantasy Football?
[Rosie] Result significant? YES
[Software] Gobbeldegook? NO
[Kim] Fan Made Foot Sports? NO
Ok, since this doesn't seem to be going anywhere, I'm going to reveal the answer and pass the baton to somebody else.

I was thinking of the game of Cluedo (or I believe it's called Clue in the US). Hence:
Fictional
Animal connection human
There have been books and films made on the subject
Pieces can be made of metal or other minerals
Involves weapons (see audience reaction)
Many identities
A one or multi-word answer depending on whether you say 'A Game of Cluedo' or 'Cluedo'
The end of the game is significant in that the true murderer is locked up

In any case, a candlestick-shaped baton handed to whoever wants to take it.
Well, reading back, I think that Tuj actually won the round at 3:48 pm on the 2nd of March. So it must be his turn.
[CdM] Very generous ;) I'll have to decline as this is about the busiest period of my life, certainly thus far. Baton, anyone?
I'll take the baton if no one is using it. MINERAL
Metal?
Stone?
[Rosie] Metal? No.
[Software] Stone? No.
liquid?
Gaseous?
Excluding flatus, obviously
[INJ] liquid? No, is the most useful answer. Partly, is more accurate.
[Rosie] Gas? Yes
Is the mineral water?
In whatever state.
[INJ] water? Not to any significant extent, no.
Found in the home?
[Software] Found in the home? No (Sounds of mirth from the audience).
meteorological/atmospheric?
[INJ] meteorological or atmospheric? Technically no, but it may be related.
Flammable?
Connected with transport?
Composed primarily of a single element?
[Rosie] Flammable? Depends what you do with it, but normally probably not.
[Software] Transport? No.
[INJ] Single element? Yes. (More than 75%)
Compressed air?
[Rosie] Compressed air? No
One of the Inert Gases?
[Rosie] Inert gas? No
Correction: [INJ] I have double checked and it might be slightly less than 75% composed of a single element.
Anaesthetic?
[Rosie] Anaesthetic? No.
The sun?
Not the penny dreadful.
*Smattering of applause from the audience*
[Rosie] Sol? No.
Some other star?
Is the single 75%ish element hydrogen?
Helium?
[Software] Helium? No.
[CdM] 70-75% Hydrogen? Yes.
[Rosie] A Star? No.
Jupiter?
By Jove, that had better be right.
[Rosie] Jupiter? YES. Have a baton.
Well, that was quick, and this may also be not too difficult .
It's ABSTRACT
A pseudonym?
Don't ask, I don't know.
(Dujon) - Not a pseudonym.
A human concept?
(Softers) - Human concept? - YES
Specifically European?
Does it begin with P?
(Softers) - Specifically European - NO. *one or two sniggers from the audience*
(Gusset Login) Pinitialism? - NO. Not in English, at any rate.
Specific to some particular culture or place?
Related to language?
(CdM) - Specific to some particular culture or place? - YES, but only in terms of the actual word (s) on the card.
(Dujon) - NOT language-related.
Any political connection?
(Softers) - Political connection? - YES, very much so, Gary. *vigorous audience applause*
Pertaining to the erstwhile Soviet Union?
The Great Firewall of China?
(irach) - NO, not pertaining specifically to the USSR.
(INJ) - Good thinking but NO, alas.
Clarification regarding CDM's query - the best answer is really a straightforward NO. Anything else may be misleading.
A joke of some kind?
(Dujon) - A joke? NO, far from it.
Anything to do with expenses?
Although they are far from abstract.
(Softers) - Expenses? - YES, though not exclusively. *vigorous applause*
An Election?
Obviously not imaginary duck houses??
(INJ) - NO, not an election.
(Softers) - Mallard's engine shed? - NO, but *further mild applause.*
Corruption?
(CdM) - Corruption? Getting very warm. *more audience applause*
A quango?
(Dujon) - A quango? NO.
Fictious parliamentary expenses?
(Softers) - One ball of string, one skewer, one pair of scissors as Representative of the All-Party Conker Committee? - NO, but that's part of it.
An inquiry of some sort?
Obviously dancing around it ...
(Softers) - An inquiry? - NO. Dancing round it is the very phrase. :-)
A government policy of some kind (e.g. the budget)?
(Dujon) - NO, not government policy at all, at least as they see it.
A Leak?
(INJ) - NO, not a leak.
This is a rather general term.
Sleaze?
SLEAZE it is! Well done GL. Over to you.
Oh, OK my turn, I guess.... ANIMAL
Human?
Alive?
[INJ] Human? Yes
[CdM] Alive? At one time, but not now.
Famous individual?
European?
[Softie] Individual of note? Yes
[INJ] European? Yes
Male?
[i,rach] Male? Yes
British?
[Rosie] British? Yes
In the entertainment field?
Artistic?
In a broad sense
[irach] An Entertainer? Yes
[INJ] Artistic? That's a matter of personal opinion. Some would say he was and some that he wasn't, I suspect.
Born in the 20th century?
[Rosé] A 20th Century Boy? Yes
A banjo/banjolele/ukelele player?
[Dujon] A banjo/banjolele/ukelele player? That's three questions. At least one of which would have the answer yes.
George Formby?
[Software] Ooh, mother. Turned out nice again? YES have this baton that was leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street.
*Blushes as that certain little lady passes by*

Dammit, now I have to think ...

I know - ABSTRACT with ANIMAL Connections

A fictional character?
More than one animal involved?
A human construct?
A G-string?
[Gusset Login] I'm ever so pleased. ;-)
[GL] - Bugs Bunny? NO
[irach] The Herd? - YES
[Rosie] Imagination? YES
[Duj] Airy stuff? NO
An organisation of like-minded individuals?
Would Calgary be related?
[Rosie] affiliation? NO * spattering of applause from audience *
[Duj] Stampede? Not sure what you mean but NO is probably the answer.
A fictional group of humans?
Any connection with sports?
[GL] Imaginary? NO. * chuckling from audience *
[Juxta] Fitness? NO.
Any connections with politics?
[Rosie] Collective decision making? YES!
A general election?
A marginal constituency?
[Pro] Current mêlée? - NO. * some laughter and applause from audience *
[Rosie] Tactical territory? - NO.
Some kind of discussion?
A hung parliament
Or a hanged parliament, if you prefer that idea.
[Pro] Debate? - NO.
[INJ] Strung-up? (They should be). -NO.
Democracy?
[FGZ] Choosability? NO * laughter from audience *
A type of government?
[INJ] Party specific? NO.
A method of voting?
The House of Lords?
[FGZ] Ballot? - NO.
[Rosie] Feudalism?- NO.
Is it related to a change in government?
[GL] Selection - YES. * some applause from audience *
A coup?
[Duj] Junta? - NO. nothing so dramatic.
Hint: two words on card.
Regime Change?
Conservative government?
To do with totalitarianism?
[GL] Revolution? - NO.
[FGZ] Toryism? - NO.
[Pro] Stalin and his mates? - NO.
Hint: Remember this is largely ABSTRACT!
Is it a political term of phrase?
Dissolution of Parliament?
[FGZ] Spin? - YES! (although not always what politicians themselves want to convey)
[Rosie] End of Term? - NO.
The truth?
Campaign Promises?
A sudden shift in the structure of a hill?
[Pro] Veracity - NO (certainly virtual in the case of politicians)
[Duj] Lib-Dem revival? - NO
[FGZ] Promises, promises? - YES!
FGZ has it! I pass on the over-egged baton and may the best man win!
Thanks, Software, I dunno how to do the big letters thing, so here goes...

ANIMAL
Animal = human?
[Software] Homo Sapiens? NO
Four legs?
Quadroped? NO
Alive?
A bird?
[GL] Animate? YES
[Rosie] Ornithological? YES
A particular species?
Specific? YES Just to warn you guys that i have started travelling again, so I may not be on as often to answer questions. I'll try to get on as often as I can.
Extant?
Sorry, I don't quite follow, please rephrase.
Extant (adj.) - A species which isn't extinct
Currently in existance? - YES
[FGZ*] PfD is quite correct (Thank you PfD). I might stress that I am not PfD but also that this site does include a wide variety of pedants with an equal proportion of grammarians, lexicographers, etymologists and other related types - each of which insists on proving their existence.
A bird of prey?
[GL] Predatory? - No
Found in Europe?
European? NO
A flightless bird?
North America?
Endemic to North America? NO
Flightless? YES
An ostrich?
A Penguin?
Kiwi?
[Rosie][Duj][GL] All incorrect
[GL] Nope.
Penguin?
not a Linux fan by any chance?
Cassowary?
Kakapo?
All still incorrect so far... [Software] I take it that's not an AMVA question, and no, sadly I have never actually tried linux. I am currently windows only.
Silkie?
Any relevance to current events?
[GL] Nope [Rosie]Relevant? - no
Is it a member of the crane family?
Gruiformes.
A Chook?
Rhea?
[GL] Crane? NO
[Duj, Soft] NO
sorry guys but I've been stuck in Invercargill with no internet. Definitely not a great situation
Found primarily in Africa?
Kakapo?
Should I be trembling?
[INJ] African? No
[GL] Nope, as I told Juxtapose earlier
[Dujon] If you did, I would laugh at you

So far there have been some close guesses, but none spot on yet
A sub-species of a current guess?
[Software] Not that close
Australasian?
[INJ] Yes
Is it a kind of duck?
Begins with a P?
[GL] No [Tuj] No
Specific to New Zealand? (e.g. the Takahe)
[Duj] Certainly
[GL] My apologies, but I have answered a previous question incorrectly. Upon further research the animal in question belongs to the family of gruiformes. I am sorry for any inconvenience that this may cause, but Wikipedia has let me down.
Takhe?
If it is Dujon deserves the win.
[GL] Not the takahe, or he would have won.
Endemic only to the South Island?
This could turn into a guessing game. ZL has a significant number of gruiformes so I am trying my best to start a narrowing down of the possibilities.
Weka?
And with that, the well contested baton is passed to Gusset Login. Well done and good luck to all. I am not sure if it is endemic only to the SI, Dujon, but that was the only place I saw them.
OK, time for another ANIMAL
Human?
Used as a mascot?
[Rosie] Human? Sometimes.
[Juxtapose] Mascot? Almost everything has been used as a mascot at sometime, I don't believe that this is the exception.
A part of an animal?
[CdM] A chunk of someone? YES
Is this literal 'chunk' used as a description of a human (e.g. He was built like the back end of an elephant)?
[Dujon] Describing a human? I can't think of a time I have heard it used in that way, but I guess it's possible.
A particular animal or human?
An organ?
A werewolf?
Begins with P?
[Rosie] Particular? No
[Juxtapose] Organ? {Smattering of applause} No
[Dujon] Lycanthrope? No
[Tuj] P***? Not in english
A gland, perhaps?
[Juxtapose] A gland, perhaps? perhaps not
Relative to cardiology?
[Dujon] Cardiac relativity? No
Begins with P (to your knowledge) in some other language?
A head?
(CdM) Pen in Welsh, so Yes. :-)
[CdM] P-ing in foreign? I think it might in Czech but I'm far from an expert
[Rosie] A head? {Much applause} No
Physiognomy?
Amygdala?
[INJ] Studying Bumps? Would be abstract
[CdM] Amygdala? No
A skull?
[Juxtapose] skull? YES Have a juxtaposed baton.
Minor pedantry
Physiognomy = the face
Phrenology = determining the character by studying the lumps & bumps of the skull
Retro-phrenology = hitting the skull precisely with a hammer in order to achieve the configuration that gives the required character traits.
Sorry NotJohn
You're right, I misread. It was still wrong, if anything wrongerer.
Ooh, only my second baton-receiving. How exciting!
Alright-ah. This time we shall say: MINERAL.
Is it valuable?
[FGZ] Valuable? Yes.
Begins with P?
An object or objects?
More than 50% metal?
Unique?
Stone?
Is it radioactive?
Second letter A?
Last letter Y?
[Tuj] /^P/ No.
[Rosie] An object or objects? Yes.
[GL] More than 50% metal? Yes.
[Dujon] Unique? Typically no.
[Software] Stone? Stone is often involved.
[CdM] Radioactive No.
[Tuj2] /^.a/ No.
[GL2] /y$/ No.
A machine?
[Rosie] A machine? No.
Decorative?
A letter opener?
[GL] Decorative? I'm going to say Yes, though it's debatable.
[Softers] A letter opener? No.
Smaller than a toaster?
Bigger than a bread van?
[Tuj] <"toaster" Yes!
[GL] >"bread van" Nop.
A depositary of some kind?
A Ring?
[Dujon] depositary - a facility where things can be deposited for storage or safekeeping? No.
[FGZ] A ring? Yes. *much expectant applause*
A millstone?
An engagement ring?
[Softers] A millstone? Not quite...
[CdM] An engagement ring? YES! Well deduced, all. As it turns out, I am soon to be one half of "Mr. and Mrs. Juxtapose". The Mr. half, specifically. Have a ludicrously overpriced hand-made wedding baton.
Almost a lurker's victory, there. And congratulations, Juxtapose! All right, this one is

ANIMAL with ABSTRACT connections
Conservatism?
An anarcho-syndicalist rabbit?
Making a welcome return.
Supermouse?
Conservatism? No. (Is that an animal?)
Picketing Bunny? No.
Supermouse? No.
Is the animal human?
Human? No.
Starts with P?
David Cameron?
Mind if I join you?
Living creature(s)?
Is it a mascot of some sort?
OK, scratch that last one. David Cameron is human, as far as anyone knows.
P-begun? No.
The beast Cameron? No.
Alive? No.
Mascottish? Yes.
A cartoon character?
Cartoon character? No.
Represents a nation or geographical area?
National Geographic? No.
Is it associated with a particular company or product?
Symbolic?
Extinct?
Also making a (hopefully) welcome return.
Of the feline ilk?
Associated with company or product? Yes *applause*
Symbolic? Yes, in the mascottish sense already noted. Did you have something more specific in mind?
Extinct? No (or perhaps not applicable would be better)
Catty? Yes.
Is it Tony the Tiger?
The British Lion?
The Wild Haggis?
Familiar to a resident of America?
British company or product?
Tony? Wrrrrrrrrrrrrong.
British Lion? No.
Wild Haggis? No.
Familiar from California to the New York islands? Yes.
British company or product? No.
US company or product?
To get the obvious follow-up out of the way...
A product more than a company?
US company or product? Yes.
Product more than company? No.
Morris the Cat?
Morris the Cat? No.
The paddle pop lion?
Very similar to the Merlion in Singapore
Paddle Pop Lion? I think you will find that begins with P. Therefore, No.
The MGM roaring lion?
MGM lion? Close enough for a Yes! The words on the card were, strictly, The Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Lions (plural), with the answer referring to the actual animals. (Not all the lions actually roared, by the way.) At least in my question-setting world, many of the guesses that people gave would be Abstract with animal connections, as opposed to the Animal with abstract connections that I specified.

One celluloid representation of a baton passed on to irach.
This next one is just ANIMAL.
Unique?
Human?
Symbolic?
[CdM]Yes, unique.
[GL]Yes, human.
[Software] Hmmm... I presume could be considered a symbol of sorts.
Alive now?
[jim] No, but in a sense will always be alive.
Ronnie James Dio?
[jim] No, not RJ Dio.
Did they die before 17th May 1983?
[GL] The person in question was reported to have died prior to 17 May 1983, but will likely always be immortal.
An entertainer?
[INJ] No, not an entertainer.
Jesus Christ?
No, not Jesus Christ.
Fictional?
[Juxtapose] Yes, fictional.
When you speak of this fictional human as "always being alive" and "immortal", do you mean that there is something about this particular character that is immortal, as opposed to the character being immortal simply by virtue of being fictional? If you see what I mean.
[CdM] Mostly just by being fictional, but perhaps a little more than just a character in this case.
Did the character originally appear in a book?
[jim] Yes, the person first appeared in a book.,
Main character in a book?
Does the person's name appear in the title?
[Juxtapose] Yes, the person's name is in the book title.
[Software] Yes, the person is the main character in the book.
Was the book in question published prior to the year 1900?
[Juxtapose] The book was first pubished prior to 1900.
Was this person a mariner?
Does this person appear in more than one book?
By the way -- not as criticism, just as observation -- I would classify any fictional character (or place, or thing) as primarily abstract, with xxx connections as appropriate. Is that how others also think about these classifications?
[CdM] Research indicates that it was one book, published in two parts.
Is the person female?
[Juxtapose] The person is male.
British or Irish author?
[jim] Neither British or Irish author.
Originally written in English?
Oedipus?
[jim] Not originally written in English.
[GLogin] Not Oedipus.
Begins with P?
[CdM] I concur
[Tuj] Not beginning with "P".
The Count of Monte Cristo?
You missed Dujon's "mariner" question, by the way.
[Dujon] The person was not a mariner.
[CdM] Not "The Count of Monte Cristo"
Hercules?
Written before 1800?
[FGZstar] Not Hercules.
[INJ] Yes, written before 1800.
Written before 1700?
Original question, I know. Though irach did say "published in two parts", and we can't go too much further back before "published" stops being a meaningful concept.
[jim] Yes, both parts first came out in print prior to 1700.
Don Quixote?
Just a wild stab at a windmill in the dark...
[jim] The baton...or lance in this case is passed to you...Don Quixote it is! The books Part I, El Ingenioso Hidalgo don Quijote de la Mancha and its sequel were published for Cervantes ten years apart, in 1604 and 1614 by publisher Francisco de Robles. Incidentally, Don Quixote was one of the first bestseller books for which pirated editions soon appeared in the marketplace. The fact that I considered Don Quixote as being a little more immortal than just famous for being a fictional character (in response to CdM's question) is that the personality trait adjective "quixotic" has also been derived from his name.
Takes lance with extreme caution
Thank you, thank you. Another result of the first book's being so popular was a rash of what you might call "unofficial sequels", of rather poor quality. The second book was written in part as a response to these.
I hope it's not considered too much bad form to guess like that straight after having a question answered. Actually, I couldn't think of any two-part foreign language books of that sort of antiquity, and was about to guess the Bible, although certain that wasn't it, just to eliminate the possibility, when another candidate suddenly struck me.

Anyway, I am now thinking of an ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL and VEGETABLE connections. Game on.

Is the animal human?
'En un lugar de La Mancha, de cuyo nombre no quiero recordarme...' - I've always liked that as an opening line - it's the 'no quiero' that gives it its interest.
[Animal human] In one connection, specifically yes. In another connection, yes, but not specifically so. In a sense, specifically no.
Does the answer contain a verb?
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
[Contains a verb] No verb.
[Well known phrase] No. That is, the name of the thing is certainly well known, and you might make a case for its being a phrase or saying, but the thing itself is not one.
Minotaur?
[Minotaur] No.
Character in a book?
[Character] No.
Does the human animal connection refer to a specific individual?
[Individual] The "specifically human" connection is to a specific individual human, yes.
Begins with P?
Ends with Y?
[Tuj] Pno.
[Gusset] Noy.
A general reference to an unspecified constituent of a group (e.g. 'one of the mob', 'a club member')?
[General reference] No. There's a sense in which the AOTC could be said to refer to a group of closely related entities, but it would usually be considered as a single specific thing.
Is the answer a mythical creature?
[Mythical creature] No.
Does the name of the human connection appear on the card?
Is the specific human a man?
[Name on card] No.
[Male human] Yes.
A leader?
Does the vegetable connection refer to a specific vegetable (such as a single identified tree, for example)?
[Leader] The person in question could certainly be considered a leader, but if you mean to ask if he is principally known as the leader of some group, nation, army etc., the answer is no.
[Specific vegetable] No.
I should clarify that when I say that the name of the human does not appear on the card, I mean precisely that. It would not be unnatural to describe the thing in terms of the person, but the name of the thing as I am envisaging it on the card does not contain the person's name.
IS it relating to a specific type of vegetable?
Is the human fictional?
[Specific type of vegetable] No.
[Fictional human] No.
Was the human involved in the invention or creation of the thing?
Was this thing invented?
(rather than, say, discovered)
[Human involved] Yes. Some murmurs of appreciation from the crowd
[Invented] I'm not sure "invented" is the right word, but it was more invented than discovered, although there is a strong connection to discovery.
Is the vegetable connection in regards to its shape?
[Shaped like a vegetable] No.
(In the sense that the thing can be said to have a shape, which is debatable.)
Was it "invented" in the last century?
(assuming that question makes sense)
[Last century] It did not come into being during the 20th century.
Are we broadly in the realm of science?
[Science] Yes. Audience applauds
Is the science in question astronomy?
Mathematical?
Newton's Law of Gravity?
[Astronomy] No.
[Mathematics] No.
[What goes up...] Nope.
Medical-related?
Biological Evolution related (a la Darwin?)
[Medical] No.
[Biological evolution] Yes. Cheers from the audience
Natural Selection?
Family tree?
[Natural selection] No, but there is a very strong connection. Audience are on the edges of their seats
[Family tree] No. Audience sit back again
The book title, "On the Origin of Species"
Yes! It is the book "On the Origin of Species", or to give it its full title, "On the Origin of Species by means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life", only that wouldn't fit on the card. Charles Darwin, of course, being the specific named human (not actually named on the card, but could have been); Darwin tactfully refrained from directly addressing human evolution in the book, hence the "specifically non-human" connection. Not that the book wasn't controversial enough anyway. One naturally selected baton goes over to irach.
Holy Galapagos! By the beard of the land iguana! Me again? The next one is quite simply ANIMAL.
Human?
(oblig)
[INJ] Not human.
Skippy the bush kangaroo?
Mammalian?
[jim] Not the aforementioned marsupial, or any other kangaroo.
[GL] Not mammalian.
A fish?
A monotreme?
[GL]Not a fish.
[Dujon] Not a montreme.
A blue-footed booby?
A Bird?
[CdM} Not a booby- blue-footed, or otherwise.
[FGZstar] Not a bird.
An insect?
A reptile?
Begins with P?
Arachnid?
[CdM] Yes, an insect. Audience raises collective antennae attentively...
[GL] Not a reptile.
[Juxtapose] Not an arachnid.
Is it found in New Zealand?
Was it ever hidden in New Zealand?
Is it a beetle?
Because that would really narrow it down. Also, why are you avoiding Tuj's question?
[Tuj] Does not begin with "P".
Yes, it is found in New Zealand.
[all] Hmmm... I don't really know.
[CdM] It is not a beetle.... (Mark...Antennae, no Coleoptera).
A weta?
A form of Stonefly?
[Juxtapose] Not a weta.
[Dujon] Not a stonefly.
Is it poisonous/venomous?
[CdM] Yes, it is poisonous.
A Fire Ant?
[FGZstar] Not a fire ant.
By poisonous, do you mean as in it will poison you if eaten, as opposed to venomous where it will bite you and poison you
[FGZstar] It will poison one if eaten.
Is it endemic only to New Zealand, or is it found in other countries?
[FGZstar] It is also found in other countries.
Is it a caterpillar?
[FGZstar] In one stage of its being it is a caterpillar, yes.
Would this be a butterfly that holds its wings flat when at rest?
If Duj would happen to be wrong, would it be a moth, such as the Hawthorn Caterpillar's moth (can't remember the name)?
[Dujon] Not that I know of.
[FGZstar] Not a moth.
Do the words on the card describe a butterfly?
[CdM] The words on the card refer to a specific butterrfly.
Cabbage White?
I know few others
[Software] Not a Cabbage White.
Is it, broadly speaking, a commonly known butterfly (like, say, Red admiral), or is it sufficiently obscure that we still need to ask other questions to narrow it down?
[CdM] Very commonly known butterfly... (and remember the clue that this species is known to be poisonous if eaten).
Is it a Monarch butterfly?
(shamelessly taking advantage of my time zone to ask two questions in a row)
[CdM] Yes, a Monarch butterfly it is! Monarchs feed on milkweed and sequester the digitalis-like cardiac glycosides from the plant, rendering them poisonous to predators. The range of the species does now extend to New Zealand.

A baton worthy of a monarch, nay... a sceptre... passed on to CdM.
.
MINERAL
Uluru aka Ayers Rock?
Pluto?
Does it gush out of the sea bed in the Gulf of Mexico?
Red rock? No.
Dead rock? No.
Bed rock? No.
Any kind of rock?
Igneous, sedimentary, metamorphic, soft, hard, folk, sheet, soap, sham, def, red, 30, cradle will, black, picnic at hanging, school of, jailhouse? No.
Would I be correct in assuming then that it is metallic in composition?
Made by man?
Metallic? No.
Manmade? Yes.
My apologies. I am guilty of too cursory a reading of wikipedia. This is actually MINERAL and (probably) ANIMAL and/or (possibly) VEGETABLE.
A single specific thing?
Begins with P?
Single specific thing? In the sense I think you mean, the answer is No. The card does name some thing, but there is more than one instance of the thing named on the card. If you see what I mean.
Begins with P? Why, yes, yes it does. :-)
Can it be used for constructtion?
Can it be used for construction? *some audience laughter* It really depends what you mean by construction. Can you be more specific?
Plastic?
Judging from the audience laughter, I presume it may be used, for example, for constructing crafts or small objects rather than homes or edifices. Is this presumption correct? [e.g. construction of objects by children with "Plasticine" (which by the way is mainly mineral calcium salts mixed in with plant or animal derived aliphatic fatty acids such as stearic acid, and begins with a "P", and therefore actually fits the bill quite nicely for the object on the card.!)]
Play-doh?
[CdM] Why thanks, it's been a little while =)
And indeed Plasticene is the correct answer! (And I had planned to choose Play-Doh -- which is mineral and vegetable btw -- for my next chance at setting. Oh well.)

One soft and slightly misshapen baton, dirty brown in colour yet still showing traces of the other brighter colours it once comprised, passed to irach.
Once more into the breach... okay, the next one's essentially MINERAL.
Did you mean "Once more unto the beach?" If so, is it oil?
[Rosie] Not an oozing mineral.
Man made?
[G Login] Yes, man-made.
An object, fabricated with some mineral or other?
[Rosie] Yes, an object fabricated with mineral substances.
More than 50% metal?
BP's broken saw blade?
[G Login} Yes, mo than 50% metal.
[FGZstar] Not a BP saw blade.
Works with electricity?
[Rosie] Does not require electricity to operate, but has electrical connections on it.
A missile of some kind?
A generator?
I am thinking this because it doesn't need electricity to operate, rather that it generates it. Unless of course you are generalising with electricity meaning the notion of electricity. Or am I reading far too much into this?
[Dujon] Not a missile.
[FGZstar] It does not need electricity for its basic essential function for a good part of the day; the electrical needs of this object are secondary to its main purpose.
A dial or indicator on a car?
Are the electrical connections related to output from the unit? (e.g. Solar Panel, Thermal Spring . . . )
[Rosie] Not a dial or indicator.
[Dujon] Electrical connections are unrelated to the output from the unit. As indicated, the electrical connections are totally ancillary; not essential for the object on the card's proper functioning for a good part of the 24-hour day, and they are not what is generally thought of by one in connection with the object in question.
Battery operated?
[Software] Not battery operated.
(The game has become side-tracked by everyone focusing on the electrical component. While in response to Rosie's question, I had to answer that there are electrical connections involved with this essentially mineral object, those connections are not what would normally come to mind in relation to the words on the card).
Earth?
[G Login] No, not anywhere as large as Earth, and remember, the object is man-made.
Any plastic content?
[Software] No plastic content.
Bigger than a bread box?
An Oyster Card?
Well, it works on the electrical side of things....
Smaller than a phone box?
[jim] Considerably bigger than a bread box.
[FGZstar] Not an Oyster Card.
[G Login] Considerably larger than a phone box.
Does it move?
Big Ben?
{Software} Its primary purpose is not to move, but depending on environmental conditions it may indeed "move.
[Rosie] Not Big Ben, but inching closer.
A bridge?
Tower Bridge?
[jim] Yes, a bridge! (Audience breaks out humming, "Sur le pont..." in anticipation of someone bridging the remaining gap to the answer.)
[G Login] Not the Tower Bridge, though...
It sounds a bit wiered to me.
[Dujon] ("Wiered" I don't know about, but "wire" is definitely a hint.)
Located in the UK?
The Forth Rail Brige?
Well, it is apparently the 8th wonder of the world...
The Gateshead Millennium Bridge?
The wibbly-wobbly bridge, aka the London Millennium Bridge?
Ironbridge?
A suspension bridge?
[Juxtapose] Not in the UK.
[FGZstar] Not the Forth Rail Bridge.
[INJ] Not the Gateshead Millenium Bridge.
[jim] Not the wibbly-wobbly London Millenium Bridge.
[Software] Not Ironbridge
[INJ] Yes, a suspension bridge.
In the USA?
In Europe?
[jim] Yes, in the USA.
[INJ] As above, not in Europe.
Golden Gate Bridge?
[Juxtapose] Yes, The Golden Gate Bridge it is! The bridge does have electrical connections primarily for lighting, and while its primary purpose is not to move, it can move during severe weather conditions. During the winter storms in 1982, the main span bowed and swayed approximately 6 to 7 feet. The baton made up of intertwined wire cable is passed.
I shall have to stop switching rapidly between this and 'Where am I' since I had it in my head that we were in the UK - wrong game!
I am afraid I am a bit to blame for that one, sice I created the latter. What do you think of it, by the way?
Easily confused
[FGZstar] I was worried it would just be a copy of this game, but it has taken off at a bit of a tangent. I think there's room for both.
Okay, all, get ready to be stumped with a

VEGETABLE

.
Is it alive?
Is it edible?
Wood?
A Cucumber?
Tree stump?
A specific plant?
Found in UK?
A bail?
Wicket?
Found on a farm?
The Answers:
[Alive?] This could be debated, but I will say Yes.
[Edible?] No.
[Wood?] No.
[Cucumber?] No.
[Tree stump?] No.
[A specific plant?] Yes.
[Found in the UK?] No.
[A bail] No.
[Wicket?] No.
[Found on a farm?] No.
A specific individual plant?
A Member of the cactus family?
A very ancient tree?
Found in Africa?
Insectivorous?
More Answers:
[A specific individual plant?] No.
[A Member of the cactus family?] I don't believe so.
[A very ancient tree?] No.
[Found in Africa?] No.
[Insectivorous?] Not to my knowledge.
A tree?
Used as a symbol or emblem?
'This here's the Wattle, the emblem of our land
You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand
Kelp?
Begins with a P?
Better late than never
Mainly found in the tropics?
Is this a plant that, apart from its natural environment, is considered as a weed?
Les Réponses:
[A tree?] No.
[Used as a symbol or emblem?] I would call the answer emblematic, but as far as a nation's flag or team logo or something, No.
[Kelp?] No.
[Begins with a P?] YES.
[Mainly found in the tropics?] Mainly, no.
[Considered as a weed?] Certainly considered a nuisance.
Poison Ivy?
Primrose?
De Antwoorden:
[Poison Ivy?] No.
[Primrose?] No.
An aquatic plant such as pickerelweed?
A specie of thistle?
οι απαντήσεις:
[Aquatic?] No.
[A specie of thistle?] No.
A bush or shrub?
I thought irach had got it.
Pommegranite?
Coniferous?
Th' Ans'
[A bush or shrub?] No.
[Pom?] No.
[Coniferous?] No.
A type of grass?
BTW, when responding to 'Found in X' questions are you replying on the basis of 'native to' or 'at least 1 example grows there'?
Known for its flowers particularly?
FAQ
[A type of grass?] No.
[Known for its flowers particularly?] No.
[BTW] I have been trying to answer the questions as they've been asked. The VEGETABLE is not _mainly_ found in the tropics, and is _not_ aquatic. This may mean that at least one example may be found in tropical climes, but it means that it definitely does not grow under / in water. Is this what you meant?
Palm Tree?
Seed bearing? (as opposed to spore-bearing?)
Q&A
[Palm Tree?] No.
[Seed bearing?] Unknown. Applause from a single audience member who then wilts under the glares of the others
Nasty in some way such as prickly or poisonous?
Pipe-weed, a Middle-Earth plant, (smoked by hobbits with bad habits), as mentioned by JRR Tolkien ?
Does it have leaves?
Clarification on 'found in' is fine thank you
Answering Machine
[Nasty in some way?] Quite. A bit of laughter.
[Pipe-weed?] No. A lot of laughter, applause, and murmuring.
[Does it have leaves?] Yes.
Can it be smoked (and unlike Bill Clinton's claimed experience with a particular weed), actually inhaled?
A tobacco plant?
Ans her? I just met her!
[Can it be smoked?] No.
[A tobacco plant?] No.
Is any part of it edible?
Should we be paying attention to your aproposeses?
Does it "eat" insects?
Given that two of the last three questions have already been answered can we have a summary?
A dicotyledonous plant?
I apologize for the gap in answers, life has been a blur for the last two days.
Is it pineappleweed?
Pineapplweed
Is it a real, currently living plant?
Growing on the Earth, not extinct, not fictional (though that should be Abstract).
[Juxt] - Apology accepted, but you could have answered the outstanding questions at the same time.
Late Answers
Haste prevented me at the time. I have a terrible habit of remembering things only when I have no ability to address them.
[Is any part of it edible?] No.
[Should we be paying attention to your aproposeses?] I have attempted to relate accurately the reactions of the audience.
[Does it "eat" insects?] No.
[A dicotyledonous plant?] Unknown.
[Pineappleweed?] No.
[Is it a real, currently living plant?] No. As to category, I took my cue from Irach's latest outing - Fictional human, categorized simply as "Animal".
Summary
Vegetable. Alive by certain definitions, inedible, a specific plant, not found in the UK, not an individual plant, not a cactus, not an ancient tree, not found in Africa, not mainly found in the tropics, not aquatic, possibly an emblem, not a bush or shrub, not a thistle, not a type of grass, not known for it's flowers, definitely nasty, has leaves, cannot be smoked, not insectivorous, possibly a dicot, possibly seed-bearing, not a real, currently living plant, starts with P.
Not: wood, cucumber, a tree stump, bail, a wicket, kelp, poison ivy, primrose, pomegranate, a palm tree, pipe-weed, pinappleweed.
Found on earth?
Thanks for the summary
Hmm, irach got a bit of criticism for his categorisation at the time. But, then I don't claim to set the rules for this game.
Must be a ptrifid
But obviously isn't, i.e. I'm stuck.
Was this plant invented by JK Rowling?
Answers
[Found on earth?] No.
[ptrifid] Pno.
[Potter-ed plant?] No.
Phantom Fungus?
Is it from a book?
I have a horrible feeling that I'm not going to have heard of this one.
Is it from science fiction?
Aaaaaanswers.
[Phantom Fungus?] No.
[Is it from a book?] No.
[Is it from science fiction?] No.
Would this be a Paleozoic plant (e.g. a Progymnospermopsida)?
From a TV series?
Nswrs
[A a Paleozoic plant?] No.
[From a TV series?] The VEGETABLE has appeared in more than one tv series, but that is not the original source.
Puking tree of Mozambique?
Just clutching at straws now...
From a game of some sort?
Potato?
Getting warmer
[Puking tree of Mozambique?] No, but I wish I had picked that instead.
[From a game of some sort?] Yes!
[Potato?] No.
Pikmin?
I know nothing of Pikmin save the name, but it turned up on Wikipedia's list of fictional plants, so it's worth a try.
Piranha Plant?
See Jim's comment.
From "Plants vs Zombies"?
Fireworks
[Pikmin?] No, but an excellent guess
[Piranha Plant?] YES! Audience goes wild. The pipe-dwelling sharp-toothed menace from Super Mario Brothers. I'm sorry, but the baton appears to be in another castle. Please accept this 1-Up mushroom instead.
Well - never played the game, or seen anyone play it (actually I've never owned or held a games console, bizarre as that may seem to some people).

After that short interruption in services we restart with MINERAL with ANIMAL connections

A building?
[CdM] edifice? - NO
Means of transport
Mineral in its natural state?
[FGZstar] Lead balloon? - NO
[Rosie] Mineral in its natural state? - Hmm, I think the answer is YES, but I'm not sure what you mean by the question.
Metallic?
A fossilised material with embedded animal?
Made by man?
Fictional?
Mount Rushmore?
Where did that come from?
[FGZstar] - Metal? - NO
[Dujon] Fossil (with bits in)? - YES! (well, you could argue that it isn't a fossil and doesn't really have embedded animal - but that's being picky) (huge applause)
[GLogin] Man-made? - NO
[Juxtapose] - Invented? - NO - that would have been Abstract ;-)
[jim] Mt Rushmore? - NO
Crude petroleum ( "fossil" fuel) ?
[irach] Eau de Gulf? - NO (the audience is looking much more subdued)
A particular individual fossil?
[CdM] Individual fossil - YES (if you accept it's a fossil)
Begins with a "P"?
[pirach] The Tuj question? - There is at least one word begining with a 'P' on the card
A coal pit?
(Earlier question) I meant say, iron ore as opposed to stainless steel.
[Rosie] T'Pit? - Nay Lad - My answer to your earlier question stands, though it may be misleading.
Precambrian shale?
Does the answer include reference to a resinous preservative?
A geological feature?
The ruins of Pompeii?
Now on display at Fratton Park.
Homing in
[irach] Remnants of the pre-cambrian explosion? - NO
[Dujon] Resinous? - NO
[CdM] Rocky? - NO
[Rosie] Don't you think there's a bit more smoke than usual up there? - strictly speaking, NO, but the huge applause means that it's only fair to say that the word 'Pompeii' is on the card.
The Piltdown Man?
Pompeii and Herculaneum?
following Rosie's lead.
[FGZstar] You can't see the join? - NO
[Software] Pompeii and Herculaneum? - NO (the audience subsides)
An apology and correction
The response to Gusset Login's question some time ago - 'Made by Man?', should have been 'YES - to some extent'. I don't think it's actually put you much off the scent.
Pompeii ash?
Or the casts of the victims buried by Pompeii ash?
Nearly there
[irach] Put that cigarette out! - NO
[jim] Casts of victims - YES, but still needs a bit more precision
"Pompeii Plaster Casts" of victims
So close
[irach] You need to consider the answer to one of CdM's questions. If yours had been the words on the card I would have given the baton to jim.
The reconstruction of Pompeii and Herculaneum?
So we're talking a specific cast of a specific victim, then?
A plaster cast of a man-made object?
The man made plaster cast of the "Dog of Pompeii"?
To cut to the chase:
irach has it. It is The dog of Pompeii
I feel I lost the plot a bit there in that, although I knew when I set it that the object was a plaster cast of the natural void where the dog had been, I got that confused with a petrified object in some answers. Sorry.

A plaster cast of where a baton once was is passed on to irach.

Hot-diggity dog! Canis diggiti-calidae!. Me again? The next one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and some MINERAL connections.
Fictional?
The Adherence of the Repeated Meme?
[GLogin] Umm...hard one to answer...The entire phrase on the card is fictional in its overall abstract sense, but is based on a very real entity or phenomenon.
[FGZstar] No Meme. Not by a long shot.
Something to do with space travel?
A saying?
Single geographic location?
[Dujon] No space travel involved.
[Juxtapose] Yes, a saying.
[Software] Not a single geographic location.
Is the animal a domestic pet?
Raining cats and dogs?
[ImNotJohn] Definitely not a domestic pet, except to perhaps the most intrepid pet owner.
[Software] See above; therefore not feline and canine showers.
An Elephant in the room?
[FGZstar] No pachyderm involved, in the room, or otherwise.
Is the answer the title of some artistic work?
The cow jumped over the moon?
[CdM] No, not the Moo-na Lisa or any title of an artistic work.
[Rosie] A good guess, but no bovine-lunar connection here whatsoever.
Does the answer involve action, essentially?
Sneezing?
Is the animal an existing non-human species?
A Chinese proverb or an Aesop's Fable?
Is the animal, as it were, a fierce creature?
[Rosie] There is a verb signifying an action of some sort on the card.
[Dujon] Not sneezing.
[CdM] Yes, an existing non-human species.
[FGZstar] Not a Chiness proverb or Aesop's fable.
[jim] The reputation of the animal in question is definitrly fierce and/or scary.
Is the animal a member of the cat family?
Is the animal doing something that it would habitually do in the wild?
The lion was not so much fierce as was painted.
[Juxtapose] Not a feline.
[Gusset Login] In the literal sense, yes, doing what it does in the wild; in the abstract sense, not really.
[FGZstar] Not leonine.
Is it a mammal?
Live with wolves, and you learn to howl?
Does 'cooling the blood' come to mind?
[jim] Not a mammal.
[FGZstar] See above answer, therefore no. No Mowgli, or any dancing wth wolves.
[Dujon] Nothing involving an subtantial "cooling the blood" as far as I am aware.
Is the animal a shark?
[CdM] Not a shark.
Crying crocodile tears?
A Fish out of Water?
Is the animal an insect?
[GussetLogin] Not piscine.
[CdM] Not an insect.
[ImNotJohn] You got it! The exact words on the card! "Crying crocodile tears" it is! The crocodile baiting hook is passed.
Coo - me again!
Well, I was going to edge myself towards it, but I decided just to have a stab.
This one is simply Animal
Human?
[Software] Human? - YES - (I have awarded myself points for guessing the first question - and what do points mean?)
Alive?
Get the obvious ones out of the way...
Topical?
Points are measures of cider in Somerset, according to Jack Dee half an hour ago.
An association with football?
Raol Moat?
Female?
Younger than thirty?
[jim] Still with us? - NO
[Rosie] In the news? - NO, not particularly
[irach] Football Association? - NO
[FGZstar] Relate's man of the year? - NO
[CdM] Distaff? - NO
[Juxtapose] U30? - YES for 29 years and 364 days, then NO.
An author?
[irach] Author! Author!? - NO (he did have published and even prizewinning works, but that's not what you would know him for)
A clue!!
Aha! So his 30th birthday did not occur in the last ten months of a leapyear, or in the two following months!
Politician?
I knew I should have checked that
I was in a hurry, OK? However, the answer to Juxtapose, should have been 'YES for 29 years and 365 days, then NO'
[Projoy] Politician? - NO
An artist?
Nobel prize winner?
Albert Einstein?
[Rosie] Arty-farty? - NO
[Software] Up there with Kissinger? - NO
[FGZstar] Mrs Einstein's relative? - NO
Scientist and/or engineer?
[irach] Practical type? - NO
Born prior to 1850?
Disraeli?
[CdM] pre-1850 - NO
[SM] Dizzy? - NO
That's 9 NOs in a row, let's go for double figures.
Composer?
Political figure?
And on we go
[Rosie] Composer? - NO
[irach] Politician - NO (except in the very vaguest of senses - never elected, never held any political office)
Alfred Wainwright?
(Although I think you would have called him an author. He does fit the leapyear criterion, though!)
[CdM] The late great AW? - NO
Begins With a P?
Someone known for one particular feat?
Aww! You've spoiled it
[FGZstar] aka Tuj? - There is a word beginning with 'P' on the card (but you could get the answer without knowing that)
[CdM] One-hit-wonder? - YES (I'm sure he'd disagree, but history is cruel)
Royalty?
[FGZstar] Royalty? - NO *a little stirring in the audience*
The Artist Formerly Called Prince?
[Software] Tafkap? - NO
A religious figure?
[Irach] God-botherer (or god)? - NO *sounds of snoring from the audience*
A musician?
Nobility?
A sporting personality?
Progress
[FGZstar] Music Man? - NO
[GLogin] Nobility? - YES (well aristocracy, at any rate)
[CdM] Sporting Personality? - YES *a few exchanges of glances in the audience mixed with applause*
Pele?
[FGZstar] Senhor do Nascimiento (etc.)? - NO
Died in or around Munich?
British?
[FGZstar] Died in Munich? - NO
[irach] True Brit? - NO
The Nawab of Pataudi?
[Software] The Noob? - NO
To clarify: the audience reaction to the 'Sporting Personality' question needs to be borne in mind. I wasn't sure whether to answer yes or no to that question. Pele and the Nawab of Pataudi would definitely be Sporting Personalities.
Died within the last 20 years?
[FGZstar] Still warm? - NO
Died within the last 50 years?
[FGZstar] Died in last 50 years? - NO
A chess player?
American?
Percy McDonnell, or a Cricketer at least?
Under fifty years old at the time of death?
[CdM] Chess player? - NO, mate.
[irach] Yank? - NO
[FGZstar] Any of several thousand cricketers with a 'P' somewhere in the name? - NO (remember I said you wouldn't need the 'P' to get the answer - since I'm not going to insist you match the words on the card exactly)
[Juxtapose] Died young? - NO
A small clue in the form of a clarification: if CdM's question had been 'Sportsman?', the answer would have been 'NO'.
A sports commentator (in either a broad or narrow sense of the term)?
[CdM] Bill McLaren etc? NO (He would probably have said YES in the very broadest sense, but that's not why he's known)
A member of some sort of sporting organisational body, possibly the president?
Warming up
[FGZstar] Member/President of sporting organisation? - YES *Applause* You could quibble with the exact description but it's absolutely in the right area.
President of a sporting organisation?
Founder of some sporting organization?
Pierre de Coubertin?
[Rosie] Nice guess. I think you're right. At least it does seem to fit all the answers.
[Rosie] Correct! the words on the card are Pierre Frédy, Baron de Coubertin

One baton in the shape of a laurel wreath passed on.

Bit of a lurker's easy victory, given the clues. It had to be Coubertin, or possibly Jules Rimet.

Right - this one is essentially ABSTRACT.

Fictional?
(FGZStar) - NO, not fictional.
A scientific concept?
Artistic connection?
Yes, I thought it was pretty clear after FGZstar's key question. Interesting how difficult it was to home in on the area of importance.
Can you touch it?
I'm not saying anything. Whilst I concede that Rosie stated it first, I still must admit that I dislike the lurker's victory. No hard feelings, however, as I was convinced that the person in question had died within the last 50 years. I really must pay attention to the answers provided to my questions. I was thinking that it was a later president, anyway.
(CdM) - A scientific concept? - Hmm, the description is, but strictly NO. Nevertheless *cheers and applause from the audience*.
(FGZStar) - Tangible? YES, very much so, Gary.
It's normal to make some acknowledgement of a lurker's victory. The problem this time was that people were asking the questions before I had a chance to do so myself.
Electronic, possibly some form of microprocessor?
Is the thing that can be touched animal, vegetable or mineral?
Just trying to clarify the mysterious abstract but tangible.

It wasn't remotely a lurker's victory. Rosie had asked three prior questions in the round -- and even if he hadn't, he's a regular in the game, and the odd lurker's victory by a regular is no big deal. It's in the nature of AVMA that sometimes (probably most of the time) one person does the heavy lifting and opens up the answer for someone else.
Could this relate to silk cloth and glass rods?
(FGZstar) - NO, not electronic.
(CdM) - YES, one of the three, and most familiarly all three. The word on the card is Abstract in essence but can have a physical manifestation. Thanks for the endorsement, BTW.
(Dujon) (aside) He speaks in riddles. The answer is NO anyway.
Is the thing the sense of touch itself, as in the sense, which is tangible because it only exists when touching something?
(FGZstar) - NO, not the sense of touch.
Does the answer on the card contain a verb?
Air?
(Juxtapose) Contains a verb? - NO. Two words + the indefinite article.
(FGZstar) - NO, not air.
A printed document?
It's not another saying, is it?
(Software) - "Thank you for shopping at the Co-op"? - NO, not a document.
(FGZstar) - A saying? NO, not this time.
Does this have both a metphorical and literal meaning?
(CdM) Both metaphorical and literal? - NO, literal only.
Is it related to a physical phenomenon?
(INJ) - Related to a physical phenomenon? - In one particular case, YES, but otherwise the general answer would be NO. *some polite applause from certain members of the audience*.
Related to a specific emotion?
Would this, Rosie, describe some possible future event?
(Juxtapose) - NO, nothing to do with emotions. The abstract nature of the answer is of a completely different sort.
(Duj) - NO, not to do with the future.
Present in everyday life?
A naturally occurring phenomenon?
Essentially ephemeral?
(FGZstar) - Present in everyday life? In one sense, YES, but more realistically, well not really.
(CdM) A naturally occuring phenomenon? Well, not really a phenomenon but an otherwise honest answer is YES. *some vigorous applause*
(INJ) Ephemeral? Not really applicable but in some cases most certainly NO.

Then answer is one example of an abstract property of a material or imaginary object.

Affecting the colour or shape of the object?
(FGZstar) - Colour or shape of an object? YES. *vigorous applause*
A fuzzy navel?
(FGZstar) - Big Boy's Belly Button? Not really. Not at all, in fact.
Is it something that most people here will have experienced in some way?
Is it specifically just to do with colour?
A black look?
(CdM) - Experienced by the average Morniverser? - Mmm, difficult, that. You don't really experience it, but another answer could be YES.
(INJ) Specifically to do with colour? - NO.
(Softers) - If looks could kill - NO.
Specifically just to do with shape?
(FGZstar) - Just to do with shape? - YES. *Huge applause*
A square peg?
(irach) - Square peg - NO, nor even square.
A convex slope?
The fellwalker's curse.
A round belly?
A black hole?
Making the rounds?
A sharp edge?
A love triangle?
(INJ) - Can't see where I'm going? - NO.
(FGZstar) - Fat bastard? - NO.
(Softers) - The gateway to oblivion? - NO.
(irach) - "And how are we today?" - NO. (Not metaphorical).
(INJ) - Honed to perfection?- NO.
(all) - Equilateral promiscuity? - NO.

The answer is simply a shape, with no specific object implied, though one particular object strongly suggests itself.

A perfect circle, or a perfect square?
(FGZstar) - Circle or square? - NO
Is this some sort of crystaline structure?
(Dujon) - A crystalline structure? - NO.
Is the shape in question 2dimensional?
An oblate spheroid?
Diamond shaped?
(FGZstar and irach) - NO, because CdM has it. Well done. It's an oblate spheroid, a sphere that's fat round the middle. The obvious example is the earth, but any planet really, because they all rotate.
I hand the angular momentum to CdM.
ABSTRACT with ANIMAL, VEGETABLE and (perhaps) MINERAL connections
Starts with P?
P-begun? No.
Is the vegetable component a fabric?
Darwin's Origin of the Species?
Whole cloth? No.
Talking about an evolution? No.
A theory or hypothesis?
Theory or hypothesis? No.
Is the vegetable component usually a carrot?
Carrot? No. *audience laughter*
Phrase or saying?
Phrase or saying? No (technically I suppose the words on the card are a phrase, but not in the sense I understand you to mean).
A book?
Is the animal connection human?
An activity or event?
[FGZstar] I did the Origin of Species about 10 clues back...
Literary? No.
Oh, the humanity!? No.
Doing something? No.
Are the animal and vegetable elements edible?
Animal and vegetable elements edible? Yes. *some applause, mainly because the audience was getting bored*
A recipe?
A recipe? No.
Is the edibility of these elements important to the words on the card?
In other words it's not just happenstance.
The importance of being Edible? Yes *applause*
A knuckle sandwich?
Meat and two veg?
A square meal?
Mineral salt?
a TV dinner?
What, fisticuffs? No.
Filet mignon a la Bearnaise, mousseline d'asperges and chips?* No.
Pavé de boeuf? No. *some audience laughter*
See how they run? No.
Masterchef? No.

*Which is a reprise of the answer I gave last time someone tried that guess in an AVMA I was setting
A snack?
A 3 course meal, or 4 square meals a day?
Is the answer a description of a meal?
A nutritional concept?
Does it relate to a diet?
Afternoon elevenses? No.
Aperitif, main course, digestif OR breakfast, lunch, dinner, another dinner? No.
Mealy? No.
Nutritional? No.
Weight watchers? No. *laughter*
Just to clarify - my previous question was not restricted to a weight-loss diet.
A fat chance?
Does it relate to production rather than consumption, i.e. agriculture etc.?
Obesity?
Diet of worms? Still No.
Fluffy dice? No.
Production rather than consumption? It doesn't particularly relate to either. It doesn't have any connection to agriculture.
Obesity? No.

I think you need to ask more questions. You are going down some very specific lines of guessing based on very little information. So far, just to reprise, the only useful positive information you have is that the animal and vegetable connections refer to something that is edible (and that the edibility is relevant rather than incidental).
A figurative meaning?
Figurative? I think the expression on the card may occasionally be used in a figurative sense, but the best answer is No.
Any literary or artistic connections?
Arty? No significant literary or artistic connections that I am aware of.
I'm trying to think of a clue. One route to the answer is certainly by trying to find out more about the edible connection. In another sense, though, this idea is broader -- I could have specified essentially the same idea without any necessary reference to food at all.
"To live off the fat of the land"?
Fatland? No. Pretty clearly figurative, that.
Would the edible part be offensive in any way to either Jews or Muslims?
Not koshalal? No.
Is the aminal/vegetable connection a concoction of some kind (e.g. 'Toad in the Hole' or 'Haggis')?
Concoted? The AV connection is a prepared foodstuff of some kind, yes. *some scattered amused applause*
s/concoted/concocted. Also, by "foodstuff" I do not mean to imply a single ingredient (obviously enough, since there are both animal and vegetable connections).
To do with greed?
Is the foodstuff heavily processed?
Greed-related? You could perhaps make a connection but the best answer has to be No.
Heavily processed? Well, ingredients are combined and then cooked in a certain way. If that counts as heavily processed, yes. The ingredients themselves are also for the most part processed to some degree.
*retires for the nonent*
I love aminals
Does the answer describe a type of behaviour?
Spam?
Type of behaviour? No.
Spam? No
Curry related?
Vindaloo? No.
Do the words on the card describe an item?
An item? I suppose the answer is Yes, though "item" seems a slightly odd word in this context, given that the words on the card are describing something abstract.
By the way, as a follow-up to Rosie's question a while back, googling the phrase on the card does turn up one figurative use, and there may be others. But the one that shows up on a google search is pretty arcane (I'd never heard of it, and I would have been more likely to have come across it than most people here). So I don't think hunting for the figurative use will get you anywhere.
Eh?
Eh? No.
Anything to do with linguistics?
Linguisticky? No.
(I don't think this one is inherently terribly difficult. It's just no one has yet come up with a question that unlocks it in any real way. And no, that's not a clue.)
Any connection with politics /public affairs?
Connection with politics? No. (Actually, the figurative meaning that I alluded to earlier is associated with a particular public policy question/debate, but as I said, I really can't imagine that will help you.)
Can this be used to help people in everyday life?
Useful? No.
Any connection with economics?
Connected to economics? No.
Is it lickable wallpaper?
Lickable wallpaper? Nope. Not abstract enough.
When I was originally thinking of setting this I wanted to describe it simply as "this has animal, vegetable and mineral connections". Then I descided that it was still technically abstract.
Is colour involved?
Colour? No.
Is the food a dessert?
Progress!
Dessert? Not usually a dessert as such, but (almost always) sweet rather than savoury.
Food Pills?
Cake?
Food pills? No.
Cake? No (but a *smattering of applause*)
A sweet tooth?
Sweet tooth? No.
Brioche?
I'm sure I've seen an episode of QI in which Stephen Fry said that Marie Antoinette actually said "Let them eat Brioche, and so I wonder if that is the thing you are referring to?
Brioche? No. *another smattering of applause*. A reminder that the words on the card refer to something abstract, however.
As for let them eat brioche, I have seen that too. However, I actually ended up researching* that story recently, and discovered that historians think it unlikely that Marie Antionette actually said anything of the sort.

*Wikipedia
A croissant?
I did see something about a mathematical formula for a croissant shaped tissue expander, and thought it could maybe be that.
Croissant? No . *the smatterers provide another smatter, but more out of habit than anything else*
Pain Au Chocolat?
Pain au chocolat? No. *smatter*
breakfast?
Any type of pastry?
Is the shape of the foodstuff significant?
Breakfast? No, though this is frequently a breakfast foodstuff.
A pastry? Not technically, but sort of in the same space.
Significantly shaped? Yes! *the audience leaps to their feet and gives a relieved standing ovation*
Doughnuts?
Mmmm... Donuts....
The word doughnut appears on the card, yes. But remember you are looking for something abstract. *applause*
The hole in a doughnut
OK then!
Excuse the double post - but I left it nearly an hour
Phew!
The hole in a doughnut is correct! One baton bent into a circle and joined at the ends passed on. Not sure why that one took so long...
OK - I think it was to do with the abstractness of the answer which nevertheless had to be defined purely in terms of the non-abstract 'frame' (so to speak).
Anyway, having dealt with that without licking my lips I give you:
primarily VEGETABLE with Animal and Abstract connections
A turnip shaped like a thingy?
Any artistic connection?
[jim] Turnip for the books? - NO (Funny you should say that, because I've got....)
[CdM] Artistic connection? - YES *Sharp intakes of breath amongst the audience*
Made of wood?
Tracy Emin's bed?
Unique?
Decorative?
A form of pigment (e.g. paint)?
A lovely bunch of coconuts?
[Raak] Ligneous? - NO
FGZstar - Open to all-comers? - NO
[CdM] One is one? - YES
[Rosie] Ooh innit nice? - NO
[Dujon] Hogment? - NO
See them all a-standin in a row? - NO
Floral?
[Phil] Bloomin lovely? - NO
[flerdle] - sorry, didn't mean to miss your name off - have a clue as an apology:
I could have described it as Animal, Vegetable and Mineral with Abstract connections but thought the actual definition I used was more helpful.
Made of some sort of vegetable fibre?
A sculpture of someone made from vegetables?
Or the annoying orange?
[Raak] High-fibre? - YES
[FGZstar] Oh, you mean the sculpture is made from vegetables - NO
[ditto] Sarky seville? - NO (don't really understand the question, but I'm sure of the answer)
Fictional?
[jim] Made-up? NO (I'm one of those pedants who would call a fictional object 'Abstract')
Paper based product?
[Software] Papery? - NO
Clothing of some kind involved?
Are copies of the item available for purchase?
The 2012 Olympic Mascot?
Found in most households?
[FGZstar] clothing? Hmmm. I think I'm going to answer NO, but I could easily justify YES as well.
[CdM] Have you got that in pink plastic with fairy lights? - YES
[FGZstar] The Olymprick? - NO
[Phil] Domestic normality? - NO *some chuckles in the audience*
Is it worn for ornamental purposes?
[Raak] Prettifying? - NO *some more chuckles in the audience*
In case I didn't make it clear, the audience found my answer to CdM's first question controversial - some of you may think the same.
Used for recreational purposes?
[Phil] Plaything? - NO *audience etc.*
Is it larger than a telephone-box-sized representation of a toaster?
[CdM] Will he stop talking if I press this lever? - YES, Probably and NO
Made of cotton?
(CdM, INJ) I've told you two boys......
Are the copies the same size as the original?
Rosie] Really reely? - NO
[Raak] Life-size copies? - NO (in the vast majority of cases at any rate)
A building of some kind?
Should your answer to my previous question be interpreted as three answers, one for each dimension?
[FGZstar] A (very small) building? - NO?
[CdM] 3D? - YES (greater in 1 dimension, about the same in the 2nd and less in the 3rd)
(That's than a telephone box not a toaster.)
Is it foldable?
Is it rigid?
[CdM] Pliable? - YES *the audience is looking interested*
[jim] Board stiff? - NO
Is it a tapestry?
[Software] Gobelinish? - NO *a little ripple*
Closing in
I think this may now well be guessable from the information you have.
A rug, possibly sheepskin or shagpile?
Or a red carpet?
[FGZstar] Not any sort of floor covering.
Curtains, or maybe padded silk wallpaper?
It's all there, you know
[FGZstar] Decor? - NO
Check out CdM's first 2 questions again
Some form of designer Jute bag?
[FGZstar] Bagette? - NO (Not exactly unique)
Did the earlier audience reaction indicate that some would view this as a work of art but others would disagree?
[CdM] Yes, but is it art? - YES (and not on aesthetic grounds)
Tie Dye?
[FGZstar] Aging Hippie stuff? - NO *faint snoring heard from audience*
Has it been in a museum/gallery?
Is the colour(?) of this black?
Is this item located in Europe?
[Phil] In a museum/gallery? - YES (to a fairly broad interpretation of the words - it has been on public display.)
[Dujon] Black? - NO
[CdM] In Europe? - YES
I'll clarify my answer to Phil's question. To my (or wikipedia's) knowledge it has never been in a museum or art (or other) gallery. However it has on occasions been on public display in a dedicated space.
Is there writing on it?
[jim] Written on? - NO (actually there are claims that there is some writing on it, but I didn't know that when I set it - it's certainly not what you would think of).
Is there a religious significance to the item?
Aha!
[Phil] Imaginary friends? - YES *Prolonged and relieved applause from the audience*
The Shroud of Turin?
And the winner is...
[irach] You got it. The Shroud of Turin it is!

One slightly singed baton passed on.

[ImNotJohn] Thanks, but I am going to busy and away on business the next couple of days, so I'd like to pass the baton on in turn to Phil, who I really think was on to "The Shroud of Turin" as well with his question pertaining to the "religious significance" of the words on the card. So, Phil, it's all yours...
Ow!
*kicks self*
...third attempt to post without being interrupted
[irach] You really are too generous. I wasn't THAT close to the shroud, but I did have a feeling it was some kind of religious artefact. Given your unavailability and kid offer, I will gladly take up the baton on your behalf, for the first time in absolutely yonks!
Right, let's go for MINERAL, sometimes with a little vegetable
Is the vegetable wood?
Any precious minerals?
[Raak] Wood? YES, but not exclusively
[FGZstar] Precious minerals? NO
A naturally occuring substance?
A manufactured object?
Is the vegetable unintentional?
A geographical feature?
[Dujon] Natural? NO
[Rosie] Manufactured? YES
[Gusset] Accidental vegetable? NO
[INJ] Geographical feature? NO
Some form of building?
Maybe a skyscraper such as the empire stste building?
Bigger than a 4-slice toaster?
[FGZ] A building? NO *some interest from the audience*
[INJ] bigger than 4 slice toaster? YES, in all 3 dimensions
Is it a unique object?
A statue or Sculpture?
Maybe lady liberty?
A garden object?
Made of stone?
Is it primarily functional?
[jim] Unique? NO
[FGZ] Statue? NO
[Rosie] Garden object? NO
[GL] Primarily functional? YES *a tiny suggestion of applause*
Can you pick it up with one hand?
A signal of some kind?
Begins with a P?
[Raak] Pickupable-onehandedly? NO *giggles from audience*
[FGZ] Signal? NO
[Tuj] P...... ? NO
Made of concrete?
(Also, you missed INJ's related question.)
A steam locomotive?
[Rosie] I think that's what the psychiatrists call "transference".
Apols to [INJ] Made of stone? NO
[CdM] Made of concrete? YES *applause*
[Rosie] A steam loco? NO. alas
Unique?
Can a person go inside?
[Software] You think all but one have been destroyed since Jim asked?
Some other form of structure?
Such as a bridge?
Normally seen in groups?
(Rather than being used singly)
Usually found outside?
A concrete bollard?
[CdM] doh!
[Software] Still unique? NO
[CdM] Can a person go inside? YES *some applause mixed with mutterings from the audience*
[FGZ] Other form of structure? YES *same mix of sounds from the audience again*
[INJ] Seen in groups? NO
[GL] Usually outside? YES *gentle applause*
[Software again] Bollards? NO
Does it have an industrial purpose?
A shelter of some kind?
(CdM) Transference? Of course. But up to that point it fitted. :-)
A shed or barn of sorts?
[INJ] Industrial? NO
[Rosie] Shelter? NO
[irach] Shed/barn? NO
About the same size as phone booth?
A bridge?
Possibly tower bridge?
[irach] Phone booth sized? NO
[FGZ] Bridge? NO
A tunnel?
[Rosie] A tunnel? NO, but a tunnel might be incorporated.
A sewer?
A tube station?
Possibly the one that must not be mentioned as it would cause a game end sequence?
[GL] A sewer? NO
[FGZ] Tube station? NO *audience starts to lose interest*
A highway or rail route?
[irach] high- or rail-way? NO
Time for a summary, methinks.
The words on the card relate to something that is Mineral, often with a little vegetable
Positives established are:
  • The vegetable portion is wood
  • It is manufactured
  • bigger than a 4-slice toaster in all 3 dimensions
  • primarily functional
  • made of concrete
  • A person can "go inside"
  • some other kind of "structure" (other than building or statue/sculpture)
  • Usually outside

Negatives established are:
No precious minerals; not naturally occurring; no accidental vegetable material; not a geographical feature; not a building, not unique; not a garden object; not made of stone; can't be picked up in one hand; not a signal; doesn't start with P; not a steam locomotive; not seen in groups; not a bollard; not industrial; not a shed/barn; not a shelter; not phone-box-sized; not a bridge; not a tunnel per se (but may incorporate a tunnel); not a sewer; not a tube station; not a highway nor a railway.

The audience were appreciative of it being outdoors, primarily functional and made of concrete. They were given to debate amongst themselves as to whether a person could go inside, or whether it was a form of structure. I am, however, confident of saying YES to both of these.

A subway?
Some form of outdoor furniture?
Possibly a bench or picnic table?
[Raak] Subway? NO (MAY incorporate a tunnel, but not in the majority of cases)
[FGZstar] Outdoor furniture? NO (a person can go inside?)
A dam?
A cooling tower?
Any military connection?
[FGZstar] A dam? NO (it's not industrial)
[GL] Cooling tower? NO (ditto)
[INJ] Military? NO
Would a person normally go inside it?
[jim] Hmmm...*reconsults dictionary*
Hidden textinside (n): on the inner side or part of; within

Would a person normally go inside it? YES is the potentially misleading, but correct, answer.
Agricultural?
Not sure if it would count as industrial, so a grain silo?
A concrete overcoat?
Were these things ever made before the 20th century?
When you are 'inside' it, is there a roof over your head?
A cellar?
Concrete Boots?
[FGZstar] Agricultural? NO
[GL] Concrete overcoat? NO
[Raak] Made before 20th century? NO *Audience re-awakens*
[INJ] "inside" = "indoors"? NO *applause*
[Rosie] Cellar? NO
[FGZstar] Concrete boots? NO
A sports stadium?
Would this be found in a Winter Olympics competition?
A wall of some sort?
[Rosie] Sports stadium? Using Wordnet's definition
Hidden texta large structure for open-air sports or entertainments
 YES (other dictionaries would lead to "NO, not strictly" being the answer) *Best applause yet!*
[Dujon] Winter Olympics? NO
[Raak] A wall? NO
Half pipe?
As in skateboarding
[GL] A half-pipe? NO *rapturous and enthusiastic applause in anticipation of an early conclusion*
A sewer?
A skate park?
Blatantly taking off Gusset Login's guess, here.
[Software] A sewer? Hmmmm...that's still a NO, as nothing has changed since Saturday :-)

[jim] We have a winner! - a skatepark (or skate park) it is!

Hidden textI got a skateboard for my birthday, which I'm calling a midlife crisis on a budget. I used to be quite handy on a skateboard in the late 70s, but kick-flips, ollies etc hadn't been invented then

So, one baton with its jeans hanging off passed on to jim
[Phil] Just a quick query - why is that concrete and wood? The one I know best is all metal - I suppose the wood could be the boards.....
[INJ] Metal skatepark...hmmm I've not come across one. All the ones I know are concrete, with the odd wooden ramp thrown in for old-times' sake (plus some trees and fencing). I've now done some further searching and found that you are right. I was working mainly from a quote from a skateboarding magazine that concrete is the industry standard these days. My apologies if that threw people completely off the scent.
Ooh, is it me? OK, I am thinking of a ABSTRACT, with animal, vegetable and mineral connections.
Animal connection human?
Fictional?
Related to the arts?
[Humanimal] Yes.
[Pulp fiction] No.
[Arty farty] You could say so, but in the way "The Arts" is generally understood, the answer is no.
A published work?
A human construct?
(oblig)
A geographical feature?
[Crime and publishment] No.
[Constructive] Yes.
[Geomantic] No.
A phlosophical idea/concept/construct?
Related to any form of government?
The pledge of allegiance?
[Eeeeeeeeeeemannuel Kant...] Nope.
[Governmental] No.
An engineering design of some kind?
Related to the sciences?
A phrase or saying?
[Engine ears] No.
[Scientism] In the same way as it's related to the arts, i.e. not really.
[Rearrange the following...] No.
Is the animal connection a single specific human?
A concept?
[Singularity] Nope.
[Conceptuality] No.
Is this an action?
[Action this] Not an action as such, although there is a particular activity involved.
Waterskiing?
[Waterskiing] Nope. Firefox doesn't even think it's a word.
A deliberate 'no ball' in a game of cricket?
Sorry, sorry, I'll go away now.
Some kind of sport involved?
[Duj] Please stay, daft guesses keep the game running.
[Goebbels] Nope.
[Sporty] Not unless you're using a broad definition of "sport".
A certain type of position?
Does the action mentioned involve large numbers simultaneously?
Connected with human interactions?
[Assume the position] No.
[Large numbers] If "large numbers" means what I think it means, then yes.
[Interactivity] Yes, human interactions are involved.
Some signs of interest from the audience, mainly due to finally getting a couple of affirmatives
A flash mob, or maybe a mexican wave?
Would this be a board game?
The Glastonbury Festival?
I think that's its proper title.
A historical event (or series of events)?
[Flash ... AAAH!] No.
[Bored game] No.
[Festival of Mud] No, but you're getting warmer.
[Hysterical event] No. Well ... no.
Some members of the audience are nudging others awake
Some form of festival?
Woodstock?
[Festivities] Yes. Audience applause
Edinburgh Festival?
A Music Festival?#
The Edinburgh Fringe?
Related to food or drink?
[Auld Reekie] Nope.
[The sound of...] No, although there is music involved.
[Fringey] No.
[Alimentary, my dear...] Yes. Audience applause
The GBBF?
[GBBF] YES! Audience goes wild. The Great British Beer Festival it is! One slightly sticky baton passes to INJ.
Well, that's what my previous question had had in mind, so I don't feel too guilty about asking 2 questions in a row - and I did leave over an hour between guesses.

So the next one is ABSTRACT with Animal Connections

Does animal = human?
[FGZstar] Human animal? - YES, mostly.
Fictional?
[GL] Tall tales? - YES
A traditional tale such as Little Red Riding Hood?
Well this is going well
[Rosie] Once apon a time? - YES (with slight reservations)
A Hans Christian Anderson story?
Aaah, you've spoiled it.
[FGZstar] Danish and Scandinavian books? - NO
On a religious theme?
[Raak] God-bothering? - NO is easily the best answer
Made into a Walt Disney film?
Made into a non-disney animated film?
Related to knights in shining armour?
Aesop's Fables?
[FGZstar] Walt disnae? - NO
[GL] Other animated film? - NO *some murmuring in the audience*
[Duj] Tin Men? - NO
[Rosie] Aesop? - NO *a small ripple of applause*
The audience is definitely awake after that series of questions.
La Fontaine?
[Raak] The Urinal? - NO
Was this tale known in antiquity (say, BC anywhere)?
[Raak] BCE story? - NO, on current evidence.
Babes in the wood?
[FGZstar] Pre-freudian paedophilia? - NO
Anthropomorphised animal(s)?
[Rosie] Bunnykins etc.? - NO
Greek connection?
One of the canterbury tales?
[Phil] Attic? - NO
[FGZstar] Chaucerian? - NO
Collected by the Grimms?
[Raak] Eeh it's Grimm? - NO *the audience is settling down again for a long haul*
The Chronicles of Narnia?
Is the human part of the animal part a part of a partitioned animal (in the sense, say, of a centaur)?
The boy who cried wolf?
Going off at a tangent
[FGZstar] Religious metaphors? - NO
[Dujon] Part man, part ....? - NO (If I hadn't done some research, I would just have answered 'YES' to the 'Human?' question - so it's probably not a helpful angle)
[GL] Serial false alarms? - NO
Both animals and humans in the story?
[FGZstar] Animals & Humans? - Animals are not significant in the answer
Attempting to adjust orbit:
Something to do with 'artificial intelligence'?
Good thought, but actually getting colder
[Dujon] AI? - NO
A porky pie?
[Software] Coo, what a whopper? - NO (Well, it's fiction, but I assume that isn't what you meant)
A clue: There is one word on the card with no article.
Related to a television program?
[Juxtapose] Boxy? - NO *a few chuckles in the audience*
Is the answer on the card the name of a mythical/legendary/fictional 'person'?
Well, it's been a bit quiet in here of late.
I thought you'd all gone to sleep
[Dujon] Mythical Person? - YES *the applause from some of the audience wakes the rest*
Rumplestiltskin
Shrek?
[FGZstar] I'll guess that name in 3? - NO
[Software] Schrecklich? - NO
None of the guesses have really been in quite the right genre, although you've got close to identifying it a couple of times
Magical in some way?
[FGZstar] Just like that!? - NO *A very few audience members purse their lips*
Is this word also the title of a book?
[Dujon] Eponymity? - NO
Blair?
Which, you may ask.
[Software] Journeyman? - NO
You really don't know enough to be guessing actual names/answers. I'll try to think of a hint.
You don't know language/culture, location, author, time set/written/drawn/sung, symbolic importance, etc. - some of these would help (but possibly not all)
Written by a british author?
Start with the hard one, why don't you?
[FGZstar] British author? - Tricky one. I don't know. YESish is probably the best answer, but if there was a single author it's doubtful if they would have considered themself British.
An Anthology of short stories?
[FGZstar] Short stories? - NO (technically the person does appear in a collection of stories, most of which are short, but yes would lead you wildly off-track)
I'm going to be offline from later this evening until Sunday evening (for reasons known to people on Dan's site). I'll pop in again in a couple of hours.
Rhyming?
.. anxious not to offend
(ImNotJohn) Should I be asking 'people on Dan's site' why you haven't returned?
Sorry about that
I've just spent a week away in the South-West, but although I had my laptop and 3G card I had no connectivity at all. Anyway, back now, so:
[Spangle] Rhyming? - NO (actually, I'm not quite sure of that, but I would be surprised if it were). I will attempt to get a definitive answer, but assume NO
Where are we?
Who am I?
A Superhero?
[Software] Ubi? - On a speck of dust
[GL] Quis? - You are Gusset Login and I claim my £5
[Spangle] Superhero? - YES, though possibly not in the sense you're thinking of.
Originating before 1000AD?
Ooh, a question!
[Phil] 1st millennium? - This could be one of 2 questions - I'll answer them both.
YES - the mythical person referred to is from pre-1000CE
NO(ish) The written work(s) referring to the person are post 1000 (but with internal evidence of earlier works)
Merlin?
[Software] Rolls Royce? - NO
Noah?
OK, I'm down to guessing now. Sorry.
Is this something to do with the bible?
[Dujon] Noah? - Ah NO.
[FGZstar] Biblical? NO
I know that I didn't help by my absence, but I'm surprised that this has got so stuck. I think you need to pin it down to a culture/location before guessing names.
Related to the Egyptians?
Imhotep? (Actually an Architect)
From Asia?
[FGZstar] - Egypt? - NO
[GL] Asia? - NO
Europe?
[GL] European? - YES
Germany?
Ancient Greek character?
Nordic?
[GL] Germanic? - NO
[Phil] Lost in the attic? - NO
[Software] A Thor point? - NO
UK?
Aha!
[Phil] UK? - YES (primarily) *the sole remaining member of the audience applauds*
Is the word 'magician' relative to the answer?
Is one of the authors Malory?
[Dujon] Magician-related? - NO
[IS,P] Malory? - NO
Regal?
Bat's dos. I notice that Knnnnniggets in armour was already a NO. Duuuh.
[IS,P] Royalty? - NO (at least the named character is not a monarch although there are connections to royalty)
A person from legend/fable?
Thank goodness for that!
[Phil] Legendary/fabulous/almost Beckhamesque? - YES
Male?
Beowulf?
(I know it's not right, but I'm hoping I might learn something from the audience reaction.)
Merlin?
[Phil] Male? - YES
[CdM] - Beowulf? - NO *the audience are all awake again and looking expectant*
[Spangle] Merlin? - This would be a different Merlin to the last one that was suggested and not a magician, I assume? - Still NO I'm afraid
Pryderi?
Getting closer
[CdM] Pryderi? - NO (he would have got a Yes on the Regal question)
From Celtic legend?
Finn MacCool?
Nearly there
[Phil] Celtic? - YES
[Spangle] Finn MacCool? - NO *the audience is torn between loud applause and gathering up bags, coats etc. ready to head for the exits*
Cuchulain?
A male legendary character from the UK, pre 1000AD, written about post 1000AD, one word, Celtic, not royalty...hmmm, don't think I'm right, but I need to rule Colin's Dog out.
[Phil] - YES CUCHULAINN it is!
The non-human element referred to the physical changes that affected him in battle when he suffered a beserker frenzy and turned into a sort of monster. As for the rest - exactly as you said - UK because he is mostly associated with Ulster.

A dusty cobwebbed baton handed on to Phil

Gosh - I was aware of the Ulsterness, and thought the animal smidgen might refer to his name, and status as Culann's hound (hence "Colin's Dog", which was a name I used in a few MUDs many years ago).
This time I'll go for ANIMAL
Human?
Mammal?
Merely a fall-back question should the answer to FGZ* be 'no'.
Single specific human/mammal/something else?
[FGZ] Human? NO
[Dujon] Mammal? NO
[CdM] A specific instance of a creature? NO (presuming I've interpreted the question correctly)
Aquatic?
Currently extant?
[Raak] Aquatic? NO
[INJ] Extant? YES
Reptilian?
[Dujon] Reptile? NO
Avian?
Dodo?
Naturally occuring in the UK?
[GL] Extant, not extinct.
Puffin?
Damn these eyes. I must get them replaced.
[INJ] Avian? YES *applause*
[GL] Dodo or puffin? NEITHER
[jim] UK-native? NO
A bird of prey?
[Raak] Bird of Prey? NO
Generally found in a watery habitat?
Waders, gulls, waterfowl etc
Flightless?
Parrot?
[INJ] Found in a watery habitat? NO *a smattering of laughter*
[GL] Flightless? YES *more laughter, mixed with applause*
[Software] Parrot? NO
Alive?
As opposed to, say, cooked.
Native to the continent of Oceania?
My first instinct is to say 'Kiwi'
Ostrich?
Turducken?
[INJ] Alive? NO *the distant echoes of previous laughter are replaced by rapturous applause*
[FGZstar] Native to Oceania? NO
[Software] Ostrich? YES-ish, but not the answer on the card. more applause*
[GL] Emu? NO
[jim] Turducken? eh? *sound of Phil googling* Ah! NO, alas.
A clue
The answer on the card is three words, one of which is the indefinite article.
A wild goose?
[Raak] A wild goose? NO
To clarify - perhaps my answer to Software should have been YES, rather than YES-ish. It's not the complete answer, though.
An ostrich egg?
[CdM] An ostrich egg? NO *much applause for two words out of three*
I'm predicting there will be at least one more incorrect guess :-)
sommat do with flaming resurrection?
An ostrich omelette?
Ostrich Egg Omlette?
being more precise
An ostrich steak?
[Dujon] Phoenix? NO
[GL] Omelette? NO
[Software] OMELETTE? NO
[Raak] An Ostrich Steak? YES - the very words on the card! I was expecting feather first. Please accept this low-cholesterol baton of ostrich meat.
Yum. The next is VEGETABLE and MINERAL.
Vegetable = wood?
A hammer?
[Software] Not wood.
[GL] Not a hammer.
Is the mineral metal?
[INJ] Not metal.
Is it man-made?
Edible?
[GL] Yes, man-made.
[Software] Edible? the audience murmurs, wondering how the referee will adjudicate this Strictly speaking, no.
Is the mineral liquid?
[INJ] It is liquid.
A nice cup of tea?
[jim] Not a nice cup of tea (but some applause from the audience).
The brew of a witch?
Is the vegetable paper/card?
[Dujon] Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble? No.
[INJ] Not paper/card.
A pint of beer?
[Software] Not a pint of beer.
A really bad cup of tea?
Containing alcohol?
[jim] Not bad either.
[Spangle] No alcohol.
Is it something that people normally choose to drink?
[GL] Yes, people drink it. (Hence it not being "edible".)
Normally drunk hot?
[INJ] Normally hot.
Associated with a particular place or culture?
[CdM] Particular place or culture? Um...very broadly. We're not talking about boiled yak's milk or infusion of Patagonian lemurs.
Ovaltine?
Used on occasion to promote sleepiness?
Cafe au lait?
A triple venti decaf skinny mocha latte with one shot of hazelnut syrup and whipped cream?
[Projoy] Not Ovaltine.
[Dujon] laughter Does not promote sleepiness.
[irach] applause! Not café au lait.
[CdM] Not, erm, that thing you said.
Contains coffee?
Is coffee?
I'll have a double espresso please.
[INJ] *applause*
[GL] *more applause*
[INJ] *cheering in the aisles* Of the 40,000 ways to prepare an infusion of Coffea arabica, it is indeed a double espresso. One stainless steel lead-weighted rosewood-handled coffee tamper passed on.
Coo
Moving along quickly then. This one is:
ABSTRACT with Mineral (and arguably Animal and Vegetable) connections
A human concept?
[Software] That human question? - YES
Is the mineral stone?
[CdM] Stony? - YES and NO (but more NO than YES)
Fictional?
[CdM] Fictional? - NO
Begins with T?
Unique?
Specifically cultural?
Ends with Y?
[Puj] FirstT? - YES (ish) - I would accept an answer with an initial T although it isn't the first letter on the card
[Dujon] Unique? - YES (at least as a human concept)
[CdM] Neither specifically cultural nor culturally specific in the normal sense of those phrases.
[GL] Yending? At last, an easy question - NO
Something people do?
[Software] An Action? - NO
BTW I've just looked again and technically 'T' is the initial letter on the card, but that's because it's the definite article.
Two word answer incl the definite article?
[Spangle] The Answer? - NO
(4, 5 or 6 words will be accepted - the 6 word version is on the card and starts with the definite article)
Confused enough yet?
Actually I can also think of a 2-word answer that I'd accept as well.
Does the answer contain a superlative?
Does the answer contain a number?
Do any of the words begin with P?
[Raak] Bestest? - NO
[jim] Numeric? - NO
[GL] P-ness? - YES
Scientific?
A geographical feature?
Does the answer involve damming?
[CdM] Boffinology? - YES *considerable audience applause*
[Raak] Geography? - NO
[Dujon] Dam your eyes? - NO (where did that one come from?)
A scientific law or theory?
Related to theoretical physics?
Related to applied physics?
Completely unrelated to physics?
[jim] law/theory? - NO
[CdM] Theoretical? - YES
[Projoy] Applicable? - YES
[GL] Unrelated? - I think you can guess this one;-) - NO
Does this have to do with standard weights and measures?
[Raak] Weights and Measures? - NO (well, actually it has got quite a lot to do with them, but not in a helpful way)
Might we poor souls who aren't very scientific have actually heard of this?
Rephrase: Is it a phrase or saying that is in common usage?
[Spangle] Well known to us poor non-scientists? - YES (I promise you'll know this). As to the rephrase, I wouldn't really call it a phrase or saying, but it is in common usage.
Does it have to do with levers?
[Raak] Momentous? - NO
Does the word Principle appear on the card?
[CdM] You should know by now that I'm completely unprincipled, so: NO
Does the word Power appear on the card?
[GL] Powerful? - NO
Electrical?
[Software] Electric? - NO
A summary
OK, it’s a non-fictional unique scientific human concept, but not a law or theory. It’s related to Physics, both theoretical and applied. The mineral connection is partly, but not predominantly to stone. It has nothing to do with electricity, levers, weights & measures (with some caveats – as a clue, I would say that you can draw a tenuous connection to an awful lot of things if you put your mind to it). There are 6 words on the card, one of which starts with P, the first word being the definite article – I will not insist on your getting the exact words. None of these words is a number nor a superlative.
It is not an action, nor is it culturally specific, nor to do with geography.

So, if it’s not a law or a theory but is a scientific human concept, what is it?

The periodic table of the elements?
Not really physics, but connected, and it fits the pattern of words.
Fallait y penser
[jim] Indeed yes. The periodic table of the elements it is
No-one asked the Chemistry question, but I couldn't really say it was not related to Physics.

Here, have this glowing transuranic baton before it disappears.

Takes glowing thingy with some caution
My hair is falling out fast enough as it is, thankyou. No, the physics thing was definitely the right call. It's amazing how misleading one can end up being--completely unintentionally--by simply answering the questions as asked.

Anyway, let's have a nice ANIMAL/ABSTRACT.

Is the animal element human?
[Jim] Many of us will sympathise with that. I've gotten myself terribly tied in knots before now, just trying to say "yes" or "no" truthfully.
Is the answer a fictional character?
[jim, Kim] I know exactly how that feels, I remember trying to decide if Jupiter was flammable.
Unique?
[Kim] Human: YES
[GL] Fictional character: YES
[INJ] Unique: YES

Well, it doesn't look like this is going to take long.

Related to Harry Potter?
Male?
[GL] "Is Jupiter Flammable?" There must be scholarly philosophical articles written on that very question.
[Raak] Potter: NO (phew!)
[GL] Male: YES
In a work originally published post 1899 CE?
Originally in written fiction?
Narrowing frighteningly fast
[INJ] Post 1899: YES
[Raak] Written: YES
Biggles?
Was the fiction written by a British author?
[Raak] Several, they generally conclude that there isn't enough oxygen (or mass if you want to use fusion to light it) but if you could provide that, then it would be.
An eponymous character?
[GL] British: NO
[INJ] Eponymous: NO (that is, there are many things named after this character, but the book in which he originally appears isn't.)
Raffles?
[Software] Raffles: NO
In a work originally published prior to 1999 CE?
[GL] Pre 1999: YES
Was the author American?
In a work originally published in English?
[Raak] American: YES
[CdM] In English: YES
Originally in a cartoon/graphic work?
[INJ] Cartoon: NO
Science fiction?
Would the creator of this character be blessed with a name that relates to the provision of particular goods and services?
Did this character appear in more than one book?
Is this character under the age of 20?
[Raak] Science fiction: NO
[Dujon] Service industry: NO
[CdM] Multiple books: As far as I know, NO. He's mentioned in other works, but the only book I know of that he actually appears in is a stand-alone.
[Spangle] Under 20: NO
Is the work based in a war zone?
Sorry, missed one
[Raak] Biggles: NO (you might have been able to infer this from other answers)
[INJ] War games: NO, it isn't Catch-22 :)
Oh dear, that's a major, major disappointment!
Sports connection?
[Software] Sporty: NO
"Other works" = film?
Written between 1950 & 1970?
[Phil] Film: That's not what I had in mind when I said it, but the original written work has been transferred to the silver screen.
[INJ] 1950-1970: YES
In children's literature?
[CdM] Kid stuff: NO
Holden Caulfield?
Getting the guess out of the way.
[INJ] Lousy...: NO (isn't he a "goddam minor"?)
Written in the sixties?
Did the book win a prize?
Yes, I missed Spangle's question. Also, of course, there has never been a film.
[Projoy] 60s: Mostly NO.
[INJ] Prize: YES
Was it the author's only published novel?
Does the book cover a span of several years (say, more than a decade)?
[INJ] The one and only: YES
[CdM] Decade plus: NO
Did the character share his name with a popular beat combo?
Give or take a letter.
[INJ] Popular beat combo: YES
If you don't put us out of our misery soon, you're going to get gazumped, and I for one will laugh :)
There are still at least 2 possible answers - even if my suspicions are correct.
Clarification
Actually I'm taking "give or take a letter" to mean "give or take a letter plus the definite article" in my answer to the previous.
Boo Radley?
Well, I know it's bad form to have 2 goes in a row, but it is over 24 hours since the last one. Assuming I'm heading in the right direction I should like to point out the existence of 'The Tom Robinson Band' and bands called 'Atticus Finch' and 'Scout', not to mention a singer called 'Jem'.
We have a winner
[INJ] YES! It is Arthur "Boo" Radley from To Kill a Mockingbird. A pale figure emerges blinking into the light and slips a baton into your hand before vanishing.
Your point is taken, although you could probably find a band called just about anything if you looked. I suppose I'm the right age and nationality to immediately think of The Boo Radleys if TKAM and bands come up together.
[jim] Sorry if that sounded like a complaint - I was thinking of The Boo Radleys as well when I asked the question (plus Tom Robinson in my comment afterwards). The rest were as a result of googling.
Anyway, since it's me again we'll try not to be too tricky. This next one is VEGETABLE with ABSTRACT connections
Is the vegetable wood?
Is this a well-known phrase or saying?
Edible?
[GL] Woody? - Mostly YES *some applause and a few chuckles in the audience*
[Spangle] Phrase or saying? - NO (not that you won't have seen or heard the words on the card many times)
[CdM] Edible? - NO (or at least, almost entirely No)
Newton's apple tree?
Unique?
A religious reference?
Related to the Occult?
Related to Christmas?
[irach] Newtonian? - NO
[CdM] Only one? - YES
[Dujon] Religious? - NO
[GL] Wooooo? - NO
[Raak] Yule-y? - NO
Toaster < Words on Card < Telephone Box?
I'm a bit embarrassed given we have ladies present, but does this unique item have some sort of phallic symbolism (real or imagined)?
[CdM] Toaster < telephone box < Words on Card
[Dujon] Ooo-er Missus? - NO *a few chuckles*
Sherwood Forest?
Wow!
Hit the bullseye! Sherwood Forest it is.
One baton disguised as a quarter-staff handed on.
For a while there I couldn't see the forest for the trees ... The next one is simply ANIMAL
The Conservative Party?
Human?
[FGZstar] Good answer, but no.
[Gusset Login] Yes, human.
Mammalian?
[FGZstar] Human, so, yes mammalian.
Alive?
More than one human?
Famous?
[ImNotJohn] Dead as a doornail.
[Spangle] One human.
[Softers] Yes, famous.
Was alive in the 20th century?
A scientist?
Male?
[Raak] Not alive in the 20th century
[jim] Not a scientist
[Spangle] Yes, male.
Connected with the arts?
[ImNotJohn] The arts were one of the things he was known for.
European?
[Software] Yes, European.
A writer?
[ImNotJohn] Yes, a writer.
British?
[jim] Yes, a British writer.
Warm Blooded?
Born before 1800?
[all] Warm-blooded when he was alive, yes.
[Gusset Login] Born after 1800.
Popular novelist?
Known in other fields as well?
Apart from writing
[Software] Not a novelist.
[ImNotJohn] Known for at least one other field apart from writing.
Benjamine Disraeli?
[FGStar] Not Disraeli (but quite coincidentally all the letters in the last name of the person on the card are contained in "Disraeli"- HUGE HINT!)
Edward Lear?
[Raak] Right on. Edward Lear it is.
A runcible spoon in lieu of the traditional baton is handed over to Raak.
Begins with a...
...oh hang on, I'll come back later.
Looking for a 'P', Tuj? I've left a few for you; down the hall and turn left.
There was an old man of Morn. Crescent
Who received a mysterious present
"'Tis MINERAL!" he said
And nodded his head
That puzzling old man of Morn. Crescent.
Metal?
Begins with a P?
[INJ] Not metal.
[GL] Does not begin with a P.
Man-made?
Unique?
Liquid?
[Software] Hmm..."yes" is probably the less misleading answer.
[jim] There is only one.
[INJ] Not liquid.
Made of Stone?
[GL] *murmurings in the audience* No. Not made of stone.
Made of glass?
[Phil] Glass? Better not be. *laughter*
Used in a sporting context?
Plaster of Paris?
Geographic feature?
[INJ] Not sporting.
[FGZ*] Not PoP.
[CdM] Not geographic.
Is the answer on the card the name of a famous jewel?
[Dujon] *applause!* Spot on.
The Graff Pink?
Guessing at topicality
[Phil] Is that a reference to some royal betrothal? I haven't been following the news. Anyway, not the Pink 'Un.
The Koh-i-Noor?
[jim] Not the Koh-i-Noor.
A diamond?
[GL] Not a diamond.
:"The Star of India" sapphire?
[irach] Bollywood? No.
Is it a corundum?
[jim] It is a corundum.
Red or reddish?
[irach] Not red.
Was this a gem from Sri Lanka?
[Dujon] It is not known to be from Sri Lanka.
The sapphire in Kate Middleton'e engagement ring?
[FGZ*} Ah, is that her name? Having checked the latest news, I believe the corundum I have in mind is still in its traditional setting.
St. Edward's Sapphire?
[GL] The very one. Have this sapphire-headed sceptre.
[Raak] No, not royal. It broke the record for most expensive jewel this week.
That was unexpected. Let's go with a simple ANIMAL.
A simple human?
[Software] Human? Yes
[Software] Simple? I refuse to comment
Kate Middleton?
I think I'm getting the hang of this "news" thing.
[Raak] The Queen of the Future? No
Alive?
[Software] Alive? Not anymore
British?
Alive in the 20th century?
[Software] Brit? Yes
[Raak] C20? Yes
Writer?
[Software] Writer? No
Connected with the arts?
A political figure?
[INJ] Artsy? Yes
[Raaak] Politics? No
Entertainer?
[Software] Entertaining? Yes
An actor?
Michael Jackson?
Comic?
Female?
[INJ] Actor? Yes
[FGZ*] MJ? No
[Software] Comic? If you mean stand up comedian, then no.
[CdM] Girly? No
Has he won an Oscar?
[Raaak] Oscar? {Sounds of mirth from the Audience} No.
Better known from films rather than TV?
[INJ] Films > TV? No.
Norman Wisdom?
[Software] Sir Norman? No
Is he known for sitcom roles?
Did he die before the age of sixty?
Would half of an hour be an appropriate comment?
[Raaaak] Sitcom roles? He is known for a sitcom role but perhaps better known for other roles.
[CdM] Dead before Sixty? No
Hancock's Half Hour? No
Primarily known for roles on children's TV?
Sid James?
[INJ] Primarily known for Kids TV? It depends on your age and/or opinion of the programme. But possibly Yes.
[Software] Sid James? No
English?
Whovian?
[jim] English? Yes
[INJ] Related to Doctor Who? {Much applause from the audience that takes time to die down} Yes
Sylvester McCoy?
[Rak] Sylvester McCoy? Isn't English or Dead. So obviously, No.
Wurzel Gummidge?
Or rather Jon Pertwee.
[Software] Jon Pertwee? Yes! Have a sonic baton.
Who? me?
Well, well. Now I must think!

After due consideration: ANIMAL and VEGETABLE.

Is it unique?
Is the vegetable wood?
Is the animal alive?
A leather-covered writing desk?
Tuj - Unique? - NO
INJ - Wooden? - NO
GL - Alive? - NO
Raak - Bureau? - NO
Is it edible?
INJ - Edible - YES
Meat enclosed in bread?
Haggis, Neeps and Tatties?
A guess, since it's St Andrews day.
Raak - Ham sandwich? - NO
FGZ - Wee beastie? - NO
Does pie enter into the equation?
Culturally specific?
Meat enclosed in pastry?
GL - Pie? - YES
INJ - Non-universal? - YES, probably
Raak - Snake and Sidney - NO
Fish pie?
Shepherd's pie?
Spangle - Cod piece? - NO
FGZ - Spudlike? - NO
Is the answer the name of a dish?
Is pasta involved?
Is the animal part - meat?
Is it a custard pie?
INJ - Menu item? - YES
Raak - Italian? - NO
Spangle - Cow pie? - NO
GL - Laurel & Hardy? - NO
Is the animal part a dairy product?
Does the animal part include eggs?
INJ - Bovine? - Can be, YES
Raak - Fowl? - AFIK NO
*small voice*
I'm having a bit of difficulty understanding your replies as you seem to alter the question asked prior to responding, egs: 'cow pie' [I didn't ask that] 'bovine' and 'fowl', 'italian' etc. Sorry if this is the way this game should be played. Clearly, I'm not very good at it!
Chessecake?
That is, cheesecake?
Mind you, a chessecake would be interesting, with the chessemen made of plain and chocolate marzipan.
Raak - Cheesy? - NO
Spangle
Are you American?
Related to Christmas in any way?
FGZ - Seasonal? - YES
Mince Pie?
Phil - Yule fuel? - YES!

Phil has it! I therefore hand over the cracker-shaped baton.

Ooops!!!
Multiple and profuse apologies for my recent absence from this game. I offer no excuses, only reasons, which are too diverse and manifold to detail at this time.

The challenge I set is ANIMAL

human?
Alive?
Unique?
One of the man-eating sharks of Sharm el-Sheikh?
[INJ] Human? NO
[GL] Alive? YES and NO is the most correct answer I can give
[CdM] Unique? NO (which explains the previous answer)
[jim] Sharm-el-Shark? NO
Avian?
[INJ] Avian? NO
Do people eat these animals?
A sea anemone?
A cellular construct?
Aquatic?
Do the words on the card designate a particular species?
Part of an animal?
[Raak] Do people eat them? YES
[FGZ] Anemone? NO
[Dujon] Cellular construct? NO
[CdM] A species? YES *applause*
[Spangle] Part of an animal? NO
Crustacean?
Mammalian?
*points at GL's question*
Aquatic?
Domesticated?
Reindeer?
Christmassy?
[GL] Aquatic? YES *Applause!!* and apologies for a disgraceful oversight
[Spangle] Crustacean? NO
[Raak] Thanks for pointing :-)
[GL] Aquatic? HELL YES *More applause (& laughter at Phil for his stupidity)* ;-)
[INJ] Domesticated? NO
[GL] Reindeer? NO
[Raak] Christmassy? Ghastly word, but NO
Are they likely to be served at a sushi restaurant?
[CdM] Sushi-susceptible? NO
Regularly found in a UK fish market?
*points at own question*
:)
Found on the menu at Phil's pub?
Blue Whale?
Oh gosh, I'm at it again.
[jim] Very sorry. Mammalian? YES *applause*
[INJ] UK fish marketable? NO
[Raak] Cooked my me? NO *chuckles*
[GL] Blue Whale? NO
Porpoise?
Saltwater mammal?
Tuna friendly dolphin?
Otter?
[CdM] Porpoise? NO
[Spangle] Saltwater? YES
[GL] Amicable dolphin? NO
[Raak] Otter? NO
Seal?
[Software] Seal? NO
Does it look like a fish?
You know, in the way that dolphins, whales, and sharks do and otters and seals don't.
Walrus?
Is the name of this beastie related to an African plain dwelling carnivore?
[Raak] vaguely fishy in appearance? YES-ish
[irach] I am the Walrus? NO
*some interesting whispers between audience members*
[Dujon] nominally similar to African wotsit? NO (presuming there isn't some obscure African creature I don't know about)
Sea Lion?
Manatee?
Reminds me of a song..
Du-gong, Du-gong, it's the cow of the see-hee-heeee
Du-gong, Du-gong, also known as the manatee!
[Spangle] Sea lion? NO (I suspect that was what Dujon was driving at)
[FGZ] Manatee? NO
On reflection, perhaps Gusset Login's "Blue Whale?" question deserved a ripple of applause.
Penguin?
Narwhal?
Sperm whale?
Is the colouring of this mammal generally accepted as being black and white?
[Phil] Your earlier suspicion was correct. :)
from the Cetacea group/order?
[Phil, Dujon] Clearly obfuscation is the way forward in this game. I'll learn :^)
[Raak] Penguin? NO
[CdM] Sperm Whale? NO
[Dujon] Geordie mammal? NO
[Spangle] Cetacea? YES

And finally, [irach] Narwhal? YES
One spiral, 6-foot long baton passed to irach
This one is just ANIMAL as well.
Human?
[Software] Yes, human.
Alive?
[Raak] Dead as a doornail.
Did death occur in the last century 1910-2010?
[Spangle] Yes, the person died between 1910-2010.
Winston Churchill?
I'm just gonna jump right in with a punt.
British?
[FGZStar] That was almost a candidate for the start of a very dirty limerick.
[FGZStar] Not Churchill.
[jim] Not British
Male?
[Raak] Yes, male.
Between 1960 and 2010 (death occurrence)?
[Spangle] No, his death did not occur between 1960-2010.
Russian?
[Spangle] (your earlier comment in the previous game) Of course!
Connected with the arts?
American?
[Dujon] Nyet. Not Russian.
[jim] Not artsy-fartsy
[Software] Not a Yank.
Hitler?
[Gusset Login] Nein. Nicht Herr Hitler.
Military?
from the southern hemisphere?
[Software] Not military.
[FGZstar] Not from the Southern hemisphere, but with strong connections to it.
Roald Amundsen?
[jim] Roald Amundsen it is!
A flagpole baton plucked from the South Pole handed over to jim.
Well. A lucky guess indeed, though I admit I had quite a broad hint. Pulls on padded gloves before taking baton
OK, I am thinking of a mineral, probably with elements of animal and vegetable depending on definition.
Seasonal?
A fossil?
[Software] Start off with a good one, why don't you. I should say YES, seasonal in at least one sense of the word, but if you mean specifically connected with the festive season, NO.
[irach] Not a fossil.
Naturally occuring?
Snowman?
[Dujon] Au naturel: I think the best answer I can give to that is "mostly".
[GL] Frosty: NO.
Connected to a coastline?
Present solely during winter?
[irach] Littoral: NO (at least, not as I understand "connected").
[FGZstar] Wintry: NO.
A geographical feature?
A certain type of weather pattern?
As in the wrong type of snow, although obviously not snow as that would be wintry.
Related to Summer?
[Spangle] Not a geographical feature.
[FGZstar] Not a certain type of weather pattern.
[GL] Not (specifically) related to summer.
Coastline related?
Possibly a portable book stand for use whilst reading on a beach?
Specific to a particular country or culture?
[FGZstar] Not coastline related.
[CdM] Not culture specific.
Man made?
[Software] Mostly NOT man-made. Though many would say the bit that is is extremely significant.
Unique?
[CdM] YES, unique.
bigger than a toaster?
Smaller than a phonebox?
[Phil] YES, bigger than a toaster.
[GL] Not smaller than a phonebox.
Is there a sporting connection?
[CdM] No specific sporting connection.
Movable?
[Software] I would have to say yes, it is moveable, though moving it in the sense I take you to mean would be impractical.
Is it something that relates to water?
seismic?
Anything to do with the weather?
[nfras] I would have to say that yes, it relates to water.
[Software] Not seismic.
[Projoy] Yes, it has to do with the weather.
Global freezing?
Is it a large swirly wind storm of some type?
The Day After Tomorrow?
Bigger than a terraced house?
[Dujon] Not global freezing.
[nfras] Not a storm.
[FGZstar] Not the day after tomorrow, or "The Day After Tomorrow".
[Projoy] Yes, bigger than a terraced house.
Would you find it (roughly) at ground level?
[Projoy] Yes, you would find it at ground level, although it certainly isn't exclusively found there.
Does it move?
Is the mineral rock?
[Projoy] Yes, it moves.
[Rosie] No, not rock.
Carbon dioxide?
Would you find it out at sea?
[Rosie] Not carbon dioxide, although CO2 is involved.
[Projoy] Yes, you would find it out at sea, although again not exclusively so.
icy?
The atmosphere?
[Software] It contains ice, yes.
[Projoy]YES! It is the Earth's atmosphere. One attractive combination baton-barometer passes on to Projoy.
Jolly dee. Wasn't expecting that to be it. (racks brains) um... OK, here's an ABSTRACT.
Is it an emotion?
A human proclivity?
"Air on a G String" by JS Bach?
The feeling you get when you get that feeling?
[GL] Emotion? NO
[Dujon] Human proclivity? ARGUABLY
[irach] Happiness is...? NO
[Raak] The feeling? NO
Is it common?
[Software] Common? *audience laughter* YES.
Does it depend on human volition?
Medical?
A human action?
[CdM] Human volition? YES
[Spangle] Medical? NO
[Raak] Something folks do? YES
Do non-humans also do this?
Could it be discussed on Sesame Street?
Without unprecedented numbers of complaints, obviously.
Might one reasonably do this in the middle of Trafalgar Square?
Cleaning?
[CdM] Non-human activity? NO
[GL] Sesame Street? UNLIKELY (altho complaints would be highly unlikely if it were)
[Raak] Do-able under Nelson's gaze? YES, but in practice unlikely.
[FGZstar] Cleaning? NO
Does it involve talking?
[Raak] Discursible? NOT OF NECESSITY.
(But in practice, highly likely)
Does it involve more than one person?
Is it culture-specific?
Googling?
[FGZstar] More than one person? YES, almost inevitably
[CdM] Culture-specific? NO
[Spangle] Googling? NO
Science-related?
Does this involve the lack of one of the accepted five senses?
[CdM] Sciencey? NO
[Dujon] Sensory deprivation? NO
Is it possible to do this alone?
A sing-along?
[FGZstar] I doubt this is a helpful answer, but YES, strictly this is possible.
[Software] Singalonga? NO
a game?
[Spangle] A game? NO
Arty?
Is this one of the seven deadly sins?
Is this all of the seven deadly sins?
Is this original sin?
Is this seven original sins?
[CdM] Arty? *hollow laughter from audience* NO
[CdM et al] Sin City? NO, none of the above.
So, so far we have that it's a common human activity that is not particularly taboo. More than one person typically does it. For free I will volunteer that there are two words on the card.
Is this - ahem - enjoyable?
Group hug?
[Spangle] Pleasurable? I would say NO for those directly involved.
[Software] Group hug? *much audience laughter* NO.
Slagging off?
Does it involve physical contact?
[Software] Slagging off? NO
[Spangle] Physical Contact? NO
Public Execution?
Does it entail embarrassment or humiliation?
Does it involve barking up the wrong tree?
[FGZstar] Tyburn Jig etc.? NO
[CdM] Humiliation? NOT OF NECESSITY, tho it might.
[Spangle] Barking up the wrong tree? NO
Does this activity typically have a (non-participating) audience?
[CdM] Has an audience? NO, if you mean it's done in one go with the audience in the same room, or if it's broadcast in one go to people who give this their attention for a specific fixed amount of time. In a much broader sense it can have a non-participating audience, tho this is not necessarily entailed in the concept.
Is the descritpion on the card one of a ploy which many television productions use?
Do all, or almost all, humans do this?
Getting divorced?
[Dujon] ploy by TV producers? ARGUABLY, altho I doubt the word "ploy" would be the right one in that case, and it's certainly not something exclusive to TV producers.
[CdM] All/Vast majority of humans do it? I honestly don't know and am not sure how one would find this out. That's a surprisingly hard question. I suspect there are defensible YES and NO answers, and I would expect you to have a better idea than me.
[all] Sorry these answers are so messy. It's just that we don't quite seem to have hit on the perfect line of questioning so far!
[Spangle, simulposted] Nisi to not see you? NO
Does this interplay constitute some form of contract?
[Spangle] NO, not a contract.
Would this constitute news if a famous person was involved?
[FGZstar] News/famous? It MIGHT BE news if a famous person were involved, depending on the circs. Equally, it might be news if no famous person were involved.
Is it related to communication?
Keep on trying these "is it related to..." questions and you'll probably hit on it.
[INJ] Comms? NO, except in the very broad ways suggested above.
Does it involve conflict?
Hey, I'm just trying to catch up here.
[INJ] Involves conflict? IT CERTAINLY CAN DO, and often does, but not of necessity.
Student Protest?
Or any form of protest?
[FGZstar] Student Protest? NO *a sudden enthusiastic burst of applause from the audience*
Cutting spending?
Related to industrial disputes?
From 0-60 in 4 hours
[INJ] CAN BE related to industrial disputes.
[Spangle] Congratulations on that logical leap, since YES, the words on the card are "budget cutting"! For a while there I thought that I'd made a silly choice, but then in you stormed. I'm afraid that the resource situation means there isn't a baton to pass over, so have this bread roll instead.
(I'm still not sure what would have been an appropriate answer to CdM's "does almost everyone do this?" question. In terms of personal budgeting, I guess that most of us do do it, but it's hard to say whether the degree of formality/prior planning involved means that sort of thing counts more as belt-tightening rather than budget cutting. Still puzzled!)
This is unexpected. I am unable to visit here on a regular basis. Would somebody else like to step in? Please.
I nominate FGZstar or INJ, who did most of the heavy lifting there.
Oh, all right then
Well, since I was away for almost all of that, I think Projoy is overly kind, but in the interests of keeping the game going:
This is ABSTRACT or ANIMAL with VEGETABLE connections. It doesn't matter much how you parse that, it still works.
Anything to do with the human race?
Bugger it! Why must I always arrive late!
Is the tractor animal a mule?
[FGZstar] Oh, the humanity? - YES
[CdM] Ass
[CdM] Oh, I suppose you want a formal answer - Mule-related? - NO
Fictional?
[Projoy] Made-up? - NO
Pork barrel politics?
[irach] Normal politics? - NO (but I could make it 'Yes' for a small fee)
Is the vegetable connection wood?
[Projoy] Woody? - NO
Is the vegetable connection edible?
[CdM] edible vegetable? - YES
The carrot and stick approach?
Is the vegetable connection a vegetable?
[FGZstar] Carrot & Stick? Nice guess, but, NO
[Projoy] Really vegetably vegetable? - YES
Does it begin with pea?
[CdM] pea? - NO, but one of the words on the card begins with a 'p'
One specific type of vegetable?
Mr Potato Head?
[Projoy] Specific veg? - YES
[FGZstar] Mr Potato Head? - NO *some audience applause*
A root vegetable?
A cauliflower ear?
Mrs Potato Head?
[Projoy] Hmm - not sure what you're asking, so I'll answer both possibilities
Is the subject on the card 'A Root Vegetable'? - NO
Is the vegetable connection specifically to a root vegetable? - YES
[Raak] Cauli lug? - NO
[FGZstar] Distaff potato? - NO (there wasn't that much applause)
Knowing your onions?
A thingy-shaped turnip?
Or a turnip-shaped thingy?
Do the words Swedish and Potato appear on the card?
[Raak] Alliology? - NO
[Projoy] Mr Turnip......? - NO
[Dujon] Potatis? - NO and YES (*about the same amount of applause as FGZstar got*)
A chip on the shoulder?
Go back and check previous answers
[Software] messy eater? - NO
Something to do with potatoes?
[Projoy] Potatoist? - YES
(I thought it was clear enough, but my reply to Dujon meant that the word 'potato' does appear on the card - so that's the word that begins with 'p')
Is it related to a particular country?
A couch potato?
(I was just double-checking)
Well, that was relatively painless
We have a winner! The answer is A Couch Potato

[Projoy] I'm not going to get up and hand you the baton, you can come over here and get it.

VEGETABLE or MINERAL or ABSTRACT
A "thing-a-ma-bob", or a related "doo-hickey" or a " thing-a-ma-jig"?
Whatever you may call it...
[irach] None of those.
An award of some kind?
[INJ] Award? NO *applause* (there are cases, tho, where it might be thought of as an award).
Beginning with "pea"?
Booby Prize?
[Software] P or pea-headed? NO
[FGZstar] Blue-Footed Bird Recognition? NO
When it's vegetable, is it a specific vegetable?
When it's vegetable, is it a flower?
[Raak] Specific veg? NOT REALLY
[INJ] Florid? NO.
Does it have to do with things underground?
[Raak] ...but to bury him? NO, nor things Underground, for that matter.
A (or the) wooden spoon?
*Please ignore that attempt* You've answered it already.
Is the mineral precious?
[FGZstar] Precious? NO
Is it related to entertainment or the arts?
[INJ] Entertainment/Arts? NO
Oh, well, actually, there is an arts/ents link, but not intrinsic.
A saying?
Is the category mutually exclusive?
So when vegetable, is it then neither animal nor mineral, and when animal, is it neither vegetable nor mineral, and when mineral, is it neither animal nor vegetable?
Is the mineral metal?
On FGZstar's query - ignoring the 'animal' (since that's not in the definition) may I rephrase as 'When it is regarded as physical, is it exclusively either vegetable or mineral?'
[FGZstar] Does that capture the essence?
[FGZstar via INJ] I have just applied that question to about five cases of The Answer that I can think of, and the answer for all of them was YES, so, I guess, TYPICALLY YES, based on a random sample.
Is the word "heart" on the card?
points North
A vegetarian menu?
[Raak] Heart of...? NO
[INJ] Nanook etc.? NO
[Spangle] Vege Diet? NO (I think someone set that once before).
Is the mineral metal?
Since subtlety isn't working...
Did you answer my last question?
[Software] Not a saying.
[INJ] Metal? NO (and nothing to do with magnetism. I thought you meant as in "[location x, and] points north")
Bugger
Sorry, Metal? YES, often!
Is the vegetable wood?
An award?
[Raak] Wood? YES, usually.
[Raak] Award? I refer the hon. gent. to my second answer in this round, or, to put it another way, NO.
Functional?
[CdM] Functional? YES
A spoon?
As in Wooden Spoon, Metal Spoon and in Spooning?
A domestic implement?
[FGZstar] THERE IS NO SPOON.
[INJ] Domestic? NO, in most cases.
When physical, is its primary function to be a symbol?
[Raak] Symbolic? I would have to say YES and NO, but YES for the case I immediately thought of, and probably more YES than NO overall. Probably. I think.
Anything to do with music?
[Raak] Music? In one case, YES, in others NO.
Is the wood in the form of paper?
[CdM] Papery? NO.
Would citizens of the morniverse be likely to own one?
[CdM] Not more likely to own one than the population at large. Perhaps most helpful to say that most cases of this can be owned by an individual.
string?
[FGZstar] String? NO
Could it be used in the preparation or consumption of food?
[FGZstar] Foody? NO (there is an edible case of this, but it it's not the one a person would first think of)
Is this a syndrome or medical condition?
[Spangle] Medical? NO.
The toaster dimensional question
[INJ] Typically smaller than a toaster by volume, and usually by dimension.
Is it used in the kitchen?
[Raak] Kitchen? NO (the only exception being the edible case, I guess).
Clue or summary required?
Is it tangible?
[FGZstar] Most cases of this are tangible, fewer are abstract.

Here's a roundup and a bit of extra info: This is something that can be vegetable (usually wood) or mineral (usually metal) or abstract. Two cases of this that I can think of have a music connection. Two different cases that I can think of are edible. There is one case, a different one again, where this might be thought of as an award. In that case, and another one again, it acts as a symbol. Nearly all non-abstract cases of this that I can think of are smaller than a toaster.

As you can see, different cases of this have different properties. Feel free to pick on a specific case to help you unfold the whole answer.
Does it have any moving parts?
This feels like we are having a category problem and once someone asks the right question it will go quite quickly - but I'm stuck.
As I say, maybe focus on one case rather than all.
[INJ] Moving Parts? NO - I can't think of a case of this that has moving parts! Hooray for straight answers. :)
Are there less than three words on the card?
[FGZstar] Fewer than 3 words? YES.
(PS. the edible cases are vegetable but not wooden!)
A one word answer?
Do you have a (physical) one of these?
[FGZstar] One word? YES, plus the indefinite article
[INJ] Do I have one? *checks* Hm. Apparently not any more. Wonder where it went?
Does one wear this?
Is it some form of protection?
[Spangle] Worn? NO
[INJ] Protection? NEARLY NO. One case of this is arguably for protection.
A charm?
[Charm] NO.
Is there writing on it?
Does an individual viewpoint contribute to the definition?
In other words could 2 different people look at the same object and disagree as to whether it was one of these?
I'm trying to think how I can follow your exhortation to focus on one case, I can't actually identify one case well enough to ask about it!
Is this a form of label or tag?
A container of some sort?
[Raak] Is there writing on it? NO.
[INJ] Could two people disagree? PROBABLY NOT, which is not to say that there aren't alternative words for this.
Well, you could ask me about the metal one, for instance, or the abstract one, or one of the wooden ones.
[Spangle] A label or tag? NO * a sprinkle of applause from a few audients*
[INJ] Container? NO
Does it serve a symbolic function?
[Raak] A Load of Symbolics? As above, two cases of this that I can think of have a symbolic function.
A grade?
Such as a grade of wood, gradings of fruit and vegetables, geades in class and grades of metal?
You Tak The Low Road
[FGZstar] A grade? NO.
A chip?
Please tell me if I'm completely up the wrong tree.
[FGZstar] An inspired guess, but NO (but you're by no means up the wrong tree).
Could it be used to hold information?
[FGZstar] Holds information? NO. * a pedantic throat clearing from one audience member, who is thinking of one specific case *
Following from FGZ*, is this a set of completely disparate things that happen to be referred to be the same word?
Are these for sale on Amazon?
[CdM] Disparate Things? YES *applause*, altho they do share a couple more properties than just the name.
[Raak] *checks* YES, you can buy at at least two types of this on Amazon.
Would one use this in the workplace?
Are they sometimes made of plastic?
[Spangle] YES and NO, depending. You could probably argue it either way for quite a few cases. Unlikely to help!
[Raak] Sometimes plastic? YEEES. I did google an example up of a plastic one, but certainly wouldn't have known that if I hadn't.
Can you find these in hardware stores?
[Raak] Hardware? I don't recall seeing one in a hardware store. Then again, I can't say I frequent hardware stores.
The wooden one - solid wood or a by-product of wood?
[Spangle] I'll pick one of the wooden ones, for which the answer is YES, solid wood.
Do people who have one usually make it themselves?
[Raak] Self-made? NO.
A wedge?
[FGzstar] A wedge? NO, but you are absolutely at the right level of generality.
A plinth?
This message will self-destruct in 36 hours
[Raak] Some day my...? NO, but again, the right level of generality

I'm going to be without net access for a week as of late Thurs evening, so perhaps I can do a summary + hints in case it jogs your thoughts. We are looking for the one-word name for a set of mainly functional objects, (at the same level of generality as "chip" or "wedge"). They can be metal or wood. There are a couple other "vegetable" types which are not wood. All of these are typically smaller than a toaster by volume. There is an abstract type too. You could put The Answer into an Amazon search and be offered a couple of types of this. One of the wooden types of this is all wood and has a musical connection. The metal type has a symbolic function.
Does the word begin with a vowel?
... apart from the indefinite article, naturally
[Spangle] Vowelish? NO.
A figurehead?
[Raak] Figurehead? NO. Think smaller.
(I have found fibreglass and plastic examples of this on further research)
A bookend?
WRT the wooden/musical one - do you hit it?
A Wh
A Whistle?
You're totally gonna kick yourselves and everything.
[Raak] And the murderer was...? NO
[INJ] Do you hit it? NO
[FGZstar] Just purse your lips? NO
A pipe?
[FGZstar] A pipe? NO *applause*
Is this a model or miniature of something?
Is it basically cylindrical in shape?
A drum?
Do most people have one of these?
[Spangle] Model/miniature? NO
[INJ] Basically cylindrical? YES *applause*, most cases are cylindrical, if you're not too Platonic about it.
[FGZstar] A drum? NO
[Raak] Do most people have one? NO.
A recorder? or a flute?
[FGZstar] Recorder? Flute? NO (not a musical instrument per se, in fact).

I realise this is probably a slightly annoying one (altho you will kick yourselves) but can I just say how gratified I am by the ingenuity of the guesses? Thank you.
A stick?
[FGZstar] Stick? OF SORTS! *tumultuous applause, and stirrings of anticipation for the endgame*
A crutch?
A drumstick?
[INJ] Item best used in pairs? NO
[FGZstar] Drumstick? NO (there's no animal type of this)

Well, about five more hours before I might have to hand this over.
Does the letter string 'stick' appear on the card?
Well, the only wooden, sticky, musical things that aren't instruments that I can think of are a baton (disqualified because they come in animal types and aren't obviously abstract) and the pole that some C18 & 19 conductors would use to beat time.
Oh and I'm quite glad my previous guess was wrong, now I start to think of the 'edible' case.
[INJ] In that case, as we might disagree on the definition and you might have guessed it otherwise, I think it only fair to hand over the BATON to you, hoping to be enlightened about the animal case! The cases of which I was thinking are the wooden (or sometimes, apparently, fibreglass) conductor's baton, the military baton, the metal relay baton, the well-known small loaf, carrot batons and police batons, plus of course the abstract Baton Sinister from heraldry. Challenging subject, but I enjoyed attempting something a bit more hard to get hold of, as it were. Apols to anyone else who had foregone that guess on non-animal grounds, too.
They make them in bone and ivory
Anyway, moving on - Let's have a nice simple ANIMAL
An amoeba?
They don't come much simpler than that.
A duck-billed platypus?
[Raak] amoebic? - NO (not quite that simple)
[irach] monotremic? - NO (but I had been thinking about that, so you were close to the quickest ever win)
Reptilian?
[ImNotJohn] Great minds think alike; what more can I say?
Extinct?
Human?
[Raak] Gone forever - NO *some audience reaction*
[GL] Human? - NO
Coelacanth?
[jim] Latimeria chalumnae? - NO
Actually, I think I set that a few years ago.
Mammal?
[Software] Mammalian? - NO
*coughs and gestures towards irach's last question*
Endangered?
Ah yes, sorry
[irach] Reptilian? - YES
[Raak] Endangered? - YES *applause*
the audience were rather helpful earlier on, but they're a fair-minded lot
Software is hereby awarded one free guess.
A sea turtle?
Said this was going to be simple
[FGZstar] Chelonioidiac? - NO *further applause*
A tuatara?
[Raak] Tuatara? - Happy to admit I had to look that one up, from which I assume you can guess that the answer is NO
A Komodo Dragon?
[irach] Varanidaeic? - NO
Did Darwin likely see them during his voyages?
Would one fit in a toaster (perhaps coiled up)?
[irach] Darwinian? - YES! - (to all intents and purposes)*applause*
[Raak] Pop-uppable? - NO *some audience laughter*
Galápagos giant tortoise (Chelonoidis nigra), which ironically is genus Chelonoidis, but not in Family Chelonidae?
Nearly there
[irach] Galapagos Giant Tortoise? - YES - but curiously enough, none of those words are on the card (*the audience are shuffling towards the exit*)
"Harriet of Australia Zoo" fame?
[irach] Hattie? - Sorry, never heard of her, so NO
Lonesome George?
There, that wasn't so hard
We have a winner! The words on the card are: 'Lonesome George': probably the last Pinta Island giant tortoise.
I'll send him over with the baton.
This is gonna be a tricky one
Abstract, with Animal connections.
Sorry, forgot to include Mineral connections also
A saying or phrase?
[irach] adage? NO
Connected with a work of fiction?
Fictitious? NO
A human concept?
A human concept? Erm, not sure how to answer this one. The animal connection is human, and so I would say YES.
Connected to science?
Is the mineral connection metal?
[CdM] Science-y? There is definitely a major connection, but you need to look further than just the thought of science.
[INJ] Metallic? YES, but not exclusively

LOOK AT THIS! Erm.. okay, minor f*** up, realised that vegetable also comes into this. To make up for this, I shall give you a clue. This whole thing is related to heat and oxygen produced by one reaction.
Internal Combuxtion?
That is combustion...
Photosynthesis?
Combustion? YES, but this is not the only rection involved, and there is another, seperate reaction
Photosynthesis? NO
You need to back up a bit, as my clue was maybe a bit too close up for now. It will help you when you are closer to the answer.
Is the (human) animal a specific human?
Not a specific human, but a specific group.
Pertaining to only one of the sexes?
Are dams involved?
[irach] Single-sex? No.
[Dujon] Dammit!? No.
Is the combustion reference figurative?
Does this relate to a visible phenomenon?
A specific nation?
[Rosie] Figurative Combustion? NO, literal
[INJ] Visible phenomenon? If you are thinking northern lights, then no.
[SW] Specific Nation? No, even smaller than that.
Artistic?
(also, could you actually answer INJ's question? :-) )
[CdM] Artistic? No
Well, I wouldn't define it as a visible phenomenon.
Anything to do with ozone?
[irach] Ozone? NO
Anything involving Guy Fawkes?
Burn it all down? NO
Is the mineral connection a fossil fuel or derivative thereof?
Is this an industrial process?
[irach] Fossil Fuels? Yes, but this is not the only mineral connection.
[Raak] Industrial? NO
Smelting?
Is another mineral connection one of the states of water?
Human connection artisanal?
[Rosie] Smelty, smelty? NO, but metals are involved.
[irach] Water? YES, and in its liquid state
[Software] Artisanal? I'm not quite sure how you mean, but I can say that one artist that I know of is connected, but others are also connected. Please note that people are both directly and indirectly connected to this, but it will be easier if I refer to the people directly connected, because those are the ones I am able to confidently answer about.
Firing a steam engine?
Forgive me.
[Rosie] Light the Rocket? No. But you are close on one aspect...
Are the metals in direct contact with the water or an aqueous solution?
[irach] Not initially, although most of them end up in direct contact with water or an aqueous solution.
Is the water or aqueous solution saline?
Rocket science?
[irach] under the sea? NO
[SW] It's NOT rocket science.
Is one of the metals lead?
[irach] Lead balloon? NO
Does the metal ionise during the reaction that produces oxgen and heat?
The electrolysis of water?
You did say oxygen was produced.
[irach] I am not sure of the answer to that question, but I cna tell you that no radiation is involved.
[Rosie] Electrolysis? I like your thinking, but no.
Is this a means of propulsion?
[Raak] The combustion reaction is a means of propulsion, but the Oxygen-producing reaction has a self-explanatory purpose.
Propulsion of manned spacecraft?
Is the metal component a part of an actual chemical reaction that produces oxygen and heat, or merely a receptacle?
Anything to do with fireworks?
I'm thinking KNO3.
[Raak] To infinity... NO
[irach] The metal is certainly a reaction vessel, but I am not sure if it is present in the reaction, but I think it is.
[Rosie] Sparks will fly? NO
To do with projectile weapons?
[Raak] Fire? NO
Is / are the metal(s) in question found in Group III of Dmitri Mendeleev's Periodic Table?
[irach] Group III? I would presume some would be.
Are the objects propelled routine means of transport, eg. bus, train, car, plane?
[Rosie] Tranport? YES *Audience awakens from its slumber*
Propulsion of the mode of transport through a fluid (liquid or gaseous) matrix?
Fuel cells?
[irach] You've lost me completely. If that includes air, then yes.
[Raak] Eco-cell? NO
Hot air balloon?
A balloon of some other type?
A blimp or dirigible airship?
[SW,Raak,irach] Ballons, airships, etc... NO
"Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines"?
[irach] An aeroplane is involved, yes.
Parachute jump?
[SW] Jumper? NO
Hmm. This clearly hasn't captured our collective imagination, hence no questions for 12 days.
(FGZstar) How's about a summary of the conclusions to date and then the final flourish - offering up a tasty clue?
A ram-jet?
Let's see if I can re-capture your imaginations...

Abstract, with animal, vegetable and mineral connections,

This is NOT *deep breath*: A saying or phrase, fictitious, photosynthesis, connected to a specific sex or nation, involving dams, a visible phenomenon, artistic, related to ozone, anything to do with guy fawkes, an industrial process, smelting, firing a steam engine, involving salt water, rocket science, involving lead, electrolysis, the propulsion of manned spacecraft, fireworks, projectile weaponry, fuel cells, any type of balloon or a parachute jump.

However, it IS: A human concept, sort-of connected to science, involving metal, related to oxygen and heat produced by one reaction, including (but not exclusively) internal combustion, pertaining to a specific group of humans (at least one of which has artistic connections), resulting in the aforementioned metals being in contact with water, involving an oxygen-producing reaction which does not provide propulsion (and this reaction has a metal reaction vessel and does involve metals, which may be in group III of the periodic table) and importantly, this pertains to a propelled means of transport, more specifically an aeroplane.

Right, got all that? Good., because now you can have a clue:
Firstly, the cause of the second reaction (which is the main one in this case) is present in every airline safety demonstration. Secondly, there is only one specific airline and aircraft involved.
Blimey - OK, someone performing an electrolysis experiment onboard a BA Boeing 737, causing a fire to break out, the oxygen masks to drop and the 'plane to crash on the sea (don't worry, everyone got out fine)?
Well, strike a light!
*audience sits up, expectantly*
[Knobbly] You are actually quite close. this is a plane crash, however no electrolysis and not into the sea. Sadly no-one got out fine, or at all. I am looking for the name by which the plane crash is referred to. Oh, and no 737. There was fire, and oxygen masks did not drop, but the oxygen generator (for the masks) is the 'other' reaction.
Ah, ValuJet Flight 592
*Audience goes wild*
YES! I hand over this slightly charred baton.
Doh
Didn't think of the fact that I'd have to think of one...
I would like a go, though. It's very quiet here over the weekend, so I'll think of one before the end of tomorrow *subsides into thoughtful silence*
Ok, this is hopefully not a 4 week one...
Animal
Go!
Human?
[Raak] No.
A single individual?
[Raak] Yes.
Recently deceased?
Female?
Knut?
European?
In captivity?
Mammal?
Forget my last question - I hadn't read back carefully enough.
So much for my AVMA debut
[Dujon]Yes.
[GL] No.
[irach] Yes.
[INJ,CdM,INJ]Moot.
*Sporadic audience applause for irach for being too clever*
Actually, when I thought of it it wasn't very easy as he hadn't been news for years. How was I to know he'd go and die and make the papers again?
Thanks, Knobbly, but someone else will need to start the next one in my place. I am going to be away at a conference the next five days, and may not be able to log into mc5 as frequently as would be necessary to keep the game progressing.
I think Knobbly should have another go!
I wonder whether the choice of Knut was a massive coincidence, or whether Knobbly actually saw/heard some reference to Knut's death without being consciously aware of the fact.
To be honest, I also think knobbly should have another go, although I will admit that my original categorising of my one was flawed, but I was having trouble fitting it successfully into one main box.
Well, ok. This may not be very difficult, but it probably won't be in the news tomorrow.
This is an Animal. Let the guessing commence.
Human?
[INJ] No.
4 legs?
[Software]Yes, one in each corner.
A single individual?
[GL] An individual? No. Although there's only one in the picture in my head it could be any of them.
A deer of some kind?
Normally regarded as edible by humans?
Mammal?
Found wild in the UK?
[Dujon] Deer me, no.
[Rosie] Not normally considered edible.
[INJ] Mammal? Yes. *small ripple of applause*
[Raak] In UK? No.
A bear of any sort?
[Raak] No. I cant bear the tension. Oh dear. I apologise profusely and will hence just answer simply.
Bigger than a toaster?
[Raak]Larger than a toaster? Yes.
Kept as a pet? (By normal people)
[Rosie] No.
Extant?
Hoofed?
A Shetland Pony?
Thelwell cartoons come to mind.
[Raak] Extant - NO. Shouldn't be long now. *More sustained applause*
[INJ] Hooves, yes.
[Software] Not a pony.
An extinct species of horse?
A woolly Mammoth?
[Raak] Not a horse. Although distantly related I think there are closer extant relatives.
[FGZ] No, not a woolly mammoth.
Of the genus Bos, like an aurochs or wisent?
[irach] Bos? No.
Pyrenean Ibex ?
A litoptern?
[irach] Ibex? No
[Raak]Litoptern - No
An extinct camel or llama relative?
A brontothere?
[irach] Not a camelid.
[Raak]Nor a member of the Brontotheriidae, neither.
Rhinoceros-like?
[irach] Well, as you asked a subjective question I was going to say no, because I don't think it is; but I asked an impartial observer and they said it was, so - Rhinoceros-like? YES. *applause*
Stegosaurus?
An Irish Elk?
Unicorn?
[Rosie, INJ, Software] Thrice no.
A dinosaur of some kind?
Died out in the last hundred thousand years?
[GL, Rosie] Hoofed mammal!
[INJ] Less than 0.1 Mya? NO
Coelodonta or Stephanorhinus?
split hooves?
According to wikipedia we're down to a choice of about 220 possibles now ;-)
[FGZ] Neither of them.
[INJ] Is it a member of the order Artiodactyla? - No.
Does it have an ordinary English name?
Unlike "liptotern", "brontothere", or "madeupopodeaceae".
[Raak] It does not, to my knowledge, have a common name. Maybe we can give it one once it has been guessed.
Borissiakia?
Just cos I like the name
Just to confirm - you have answered that this is hoofed and does not have split hooves - I have to assume that means it has a single hoof like a horse, not claws or any other multi-part foot like a deer or elephant.
I notice that I automatically write 'hoofed', but 'hooves' - I'll have to follow that up, though I expect both will be acceptable.
[INJ] Not Borissiakia.
[INJ again] Yes, it does; although I'm getting a bit lost in hoof types. For one thing a deer is a hoofed mammal.
Of the family Brontotheriidae?
[FGZ] No, it still isn't.
Of the family Artiodactyls?
Does it have the letter string 'hipp' in its name?
(re deer: Yes, but a deer, like a cow, has split hooves.)
If you could still eat one, would it be kosher?
I don't think the answer will be particularly edifying, I just want to see you try to work it out :)
[GL] Artiodactyla? NO. Keep going, we're almost out of incorrect orders...
[INJ] No, the syllable 'hipp' appears nowhere in the binomial name, nor in the rest of its taxonomic classification.
[Jim] No, because it doesn't have cloven hooves (see above). That wasn't too complicated.
Of the order Perissodactyla?
[INJ] YES. Indeed an odd-toed ungulate.
One of the "rhino-like" amynodonts such as Gigantamynodon, Metamynodon , or Cadurcodon ?
[irach] Not Amynodontidae.
And when I searched for it the Popular Search Engine tried to change it to 'Amy - no, don't!' (Punctuation mine, three words its.)
*wishes you lot would speak English*
Are you all googling like crazy in order to ask questions with words that no-one uses in daily parlance? Or are you actually *experts* in this field? Whatever - clearly this game is not for me.
(Spangle) I agree. For some time this game has irritated the poo out of me and although I may contribute early on I usually drop out if it becomes clear the answer is some arcane piece of knowledge that very few people have. If it's not at the fingertips of a well-educated person (and all of us are that) then it's inappropriate. In the '50's this game was played live and the answers were always things that anyone would know of. This gives much scope for ingenuity without getting anorakky.
In the past I have threatened to retaliate (in the unlikely event that I would ever win) with a Steam Engine. Just a Steam Engine? Dear me, no - a big one. A Big Steam Engine? Come on - be serious, this one is Quite Big but not Very Big. So it's a 4-6-0, then? Yes. Not just any old 4-6-0; there were loads of them, but a Great Western 4-6-0. A Great Western 4-6-0, then? Oh, get a grip; there were several different classes. This one is a "Hall Class". OK, a Great Western "Hall Class" 4-6-0, then? Yes. Now guess which one. It's no. 7921,
Hidden text which is my current desktop, having taken a picture of it myself in 1959
, and one of 330.
Isn't that clever? This game is for 8 - 12 year olds and a complete f****** timewaster.
A quagga?
[Spangle, Rosie if they look in here again] I chose what I thought was a moderately well known extinct mammal after my living mammal was guessed in less than a day. It does say in the instructions that a search engine is useful, but I notice that further up the page, the items are a lot more general knowledge. Maybe a return to things most people have heard of wouldn't be a bad idea.
[Raak] Not a quagga.
I am sorry, I think I may have started this with my more specific topic. It happened to be an old episode of air crash investigation which I was watching at the time.
[spangle, knobbly, FGZ*] This is not a new debate. Rosie has voiced his views on this numerous times, and I don't think it's worth rehashing. But one thought did occur to me, which is that the existence of google might lead us to approach the guessing completely differently. In other words, even if the answer is not really obscure (as perhaps this one isn't; we don't know yet), we might approach it in obscure ways.
[CdM] Ah well, I'm a new player. Relatively. To this game anyway.
Volunteers to return us to our regularly scheduled game?
The reason I object to some of the extreme arcane subjects is that it denies the players the opportunity for general intelligence, which I take to be the ability to put two and two together and see connections, quite independent of any database. Digging around in Google may suit some but it doesn't exactly lift the spirits.
[Rosie] Yes, we know. You are given to saying so pretty much every few weeks.
A type of tapir?
[irach] No type of tapir.
A Chalicothere?
On the grounds that I know I've come across that one.
[INJ]Chalicothere? No.
Free advice - maybe ask another question instead of guess?
I give up
Frankly, although I've quite enjoyed some of the digging, I can't spare the effort to do more. I also have a problem in that I believe your answers have said that this animal has a single hoof (hoofed , not split). My sources state specifically that the only animals with a single hoof are related to horses, but you have said that is not the case.
Raak asked if it was an extinct species of horse. I said it wasn't an extinct species of horse, but distantly related, i.e. it belongs in the order Perissodactyl, like horses do.
There is a very important piece of identifying information that no-one has really tried to ascertain.
[All who haven't drifted off] Here is a roundup of all helpful facts so far known:
A non-human, extinct, quadrupedal mammal, of the order Perissodactyla (odd-toed ungulates). Died out more than 100,000 years ago, rhinoceros-like and larger than a toaster.
With two horn like protuberances?
[irach] Not with two horns.
Baluchitherium?
You said that you had a particular exemplar in mind. Would it help us to try to find out which one? (e.g., skeleton in a museum, illustration in a book...)
Has this creature evre been featured in a film?
[Projoy] YES Baluchitherium.
A prehistoric relative of the rhinoceros, featured in an episode of Walking With Beasts and the largest mammal ever to have existed. I would also have accepted Paraceratherium or Indricotherium. And I honestly thought it was fairly well known.
Is that the answer?
Is this a question?
[Spangle] Yes that is the answer.
Should I have added *Audience go wild, not untinged with relief* for avoidance of doubt?
[GL] Is this a rhetorical question?
Come to think of it, there's a talking baluchitherium in Brian Aldiss' short story "Old Hundreth".
It will not suprise onlookers to know that that was a triumph for Google rather than my prior general knowledge, but I for one am glad to know it now. Getting it to stick in memory will be the challenge...

The next is MINERAL (there might be odd bits of the other two in there, I'm not sure).
A structure?
Unique?
Primarily metal?
manufactured?
A flying start...
[Rosie] A Structure? STRICTLY, YES
[CdM] Unique? YES
[INJ] Primarily metal? YES
[Software] Manufactured? YES
Used in transportation?
Do people go inside it?
Artistic connections?
Found inside Earth's atmosphere?
Gathering speed...
[irach] Transportation? YES *applause*
[Knobbly] People inside? YES
[INJ] Artistic? NOT REALLY
[GL] Earthly? YES
Airborne?
Vickers VC-10 aircraft?
Currently in use?
The London Eye?
Making progress...
[Raak] Airy? NO
[irach] Holy plane? NO
[Rosie] In use? YES [Dujon] Sauron on the South Bank? NO
Great Western 'Hall Class' 4-6-0 number 7921?
Related to te Railways?
[FGZstar] Don't be silly, that's not still in use, it was scrapped in 1963.
[FGZ*] GWHC4607921? NO
[GL] Rail-ated? YES! *applause*
The Chunnel train?
[irach] Pancras to Paris? NON
Is it a 'named' engine or train?
[Duj] Named engine or train? YES
Is it a preserved steam locomotive?
The Flying Scotsman?
Puffing Billy?
[Rosie] A righted steamer? YES
[Raak] The Airborne Jock? NO
[Spangle] Drug-addled William? NO
Stephenson's Rocket?
Is it likely that I am the only Morniverser who has heard of this machine?
I don't know quite why I'm going along with this monumental piss-take. Must be the nice weather.
Union of South Africa?
Is it British?
[Spangle] Stockton to Darlington Express? NO
[Rosie] Something only you'd know? NO (I've heard of it too).
[FGZstar] Union of South Africa? NO *applause*
[GL] British? YES
Sir Nigel Gresley?
Chifferty-chafferty chifferty-chafferty
Does (or did) this locomotive hold the record (steam engines) for rapidity?
Mallard?
(Pursuing the Gresley link (thank you Wikipedia) and going with an engine that I had also heard of.)
[CdM] Not the Mallard, as that is no longer operational
[Dujon] Speed record? YES, this locomotive holds the postwar steam speed record, which means that Rosie, like The Answer, is entirely on track with...
[Rosie] LNER Class A4 4498 Sir Nigel Gresley? YES! *appreciative whistles*.
Please take this single-tracked-section token.
(I probably should have awarded a couple of claps for Flying Scotsman since the other still-operational Class A4, LNER Class A4 4464 Bittern, used to pull that train).
I hate three-cylinder engines; they don't puff properly.
Right; nothing whatsoever to do with railways in any way, shape or form, nevertheless MINERAL
Metallic?
Made of stone/rock?
Found on Earth?
(irach) Metallic? Almost entirely not.
(INJ) Stone or rock? YES, very largely.
(Gusset Login) Found on Earth? YES.
A rock formation?
(Knobbly) - Not a rock formation.
[Rosie] Manufactured or processed in some way?
(Projoy) Manufactured or processed? - YES. *some mild applause*
Related to Transport?
FGZstar - Train and boats and planes - alas, NO
A man-made wall?
(irach) - NO, not a wall.
Unique?
A building?
Artistic connections?
A Welsh slag heap?
;0)
A structure?
(CdM) - Unique? - By no means
(INJ) - Aberfan? Nothing so sad
(Projoy) - A structure? - YES.
Bigger than a washing machine?
You answered Software instead of me
(INJ) - Whoops, sorry about that - a bit early in the "morning". NO artistic connections.
Bigger than a washing machine? NO, at least in two out of three dimensions.
(Raak) A building? NO (though a structure).
Is it hollow?
A monument?
A utilitarian object?
(Projoy) Hollow? NO (very probably).
(Raak) A monument? NO. *a few laughs and a little quickly stifled applause*
(irach) - A utilitarian object? YES, very much so.
Found outdoors rather than indoors?
A Welsh slag heap?
trying again
(Softers) I replied to INJ (qv) instead of to you. Not a slag heap of any nationality.
(irach) Outdoors? YES. *some applause*
Is there just one of this?
(Pj) Unique? NO, not at all. (see reply to CdM)
Do humans typically need to touch this object with their hands and/or feet in the course of its normal use?
An electricity pylon?
Is it typically a part of something bigger?
(irach) - Need to touch the object? NO, but they probably would anyway.
(FGZstar) - An electricity pylon? NO.
(Projoy) - Part of something bigger? - NO, not in a physical sense.
Do all of its type have a specific geometric shape?
Would a typical morniverser own one?
A lighting fixture?
A dry stone wall?
Good to 'see' you in the chair, Rosie ;-)
You say it's a "structure", but does that mean it is made up of separate stone parts?
(irach) - All the same shape? YES, probably; maybe a few exceptions.
(CdM) - Ownership by typical morniverser? Good heavens, NO - we don't nick things, do we?
(Raak) - Lamp-post etc? NO.
(Chalky) - Dry-stone wall? Alas, NO.
Hidden textThey're very kind to the oldies here.

(Projoy) - Built up from stone blocks? - YES. *applause*
Found on/along a roadway?
Is it taller than a washing machine?
A pyramid?
(irach) - On a road? - Almost entirely NO, but theoretically could be at the side of one.
(Projoy) - Taller than a washing machine? - YES, but only a little.
(Softers) Square geezer? NO, nor pyramidal geometrically.
A triangulation pillar?
YESSS! Projoy wins. The actual "words on the card" were Trig Point, but that's the same thing. *Returns the single-line token*. Carry on.
There used to be a couple just down the road from my house where I grew up. OK, that's enough mineral, here's an ABSTRACT, with strong ANIMAL connections
Is the animal connection human?
[irach] Animal connection human? Only at the less significant end.
Animal instinct?
Husbandry?
Worth a punt from 75 yds.
Wayne Rooney?
Does it relate to an individual animal?
There was a trig point in the central strip of a stretch of dual carriageway in Leeds. (Scott Hall Road - may have been displaced by the guided bus route)
[irach] Instinct? NO
[Dujon] Spudhead? NO
[INJ] Individual animal? As in unique or an individual type? NO, if the former.
[Rosie] Husbandry? NO
Does this result in a specific action on the part of the animal?
Is this a song?
Human concept?
[Rosie] Action on the part of the animal? *some laughter* NOT EXACTLY
[Chalky] A song? NO
[Software] Human concept? YES
Related to a work of fiction?
[INJ] Fiction-work-related? NO, not particularly. Might be mentioned in a few.
A disease largely confined to animals?
Is this a phrase (e.g. "he had the strength of a lion")?
[Rosie] Disease? NO
[Dujon] A phrase? YES! *applause*
A pig's ear?
Is the animal domesticated?
A pig in a poke?
Dead as the dodo?
[Software] Porcine Aural Apparatus? NO
[CdM] Domesticated? NO
[irach] Hog in a holdall? NO
[Rosie] Dodo? NO.
Is it a proverb?
Is the referenced animal larger than a badger?
[FGZstar] Proverb? NO
[INJ] >Badger? NO
Is the animal in the phrase a rodent? As in "I smell a rat"?
[irach] Rodent? NO
Is the animal a mammal?
[irach] A mammal? NO
Is the animal dangerous?
Does the animal drink like a fish?
(Guessing) A snake in the grass?
A bird, such as one in the hand or two in the bush?
Playing possum?
[CdM] Dangerous? *laughter* NO
[Gusset Login] Drinking like a fish? NO *applause*
[Dujon] Grass Snake? NO
[irach] Birdies? NO
[Rosie] Marsupial? NO
Memory like a goldfish?
Or have I already asked that?
"Sleeping with the fishes"?
The one that got away?
Fishing for answers...
[INJ] What was that you said seven seconds ago? NO
[irach] Unfortunate Mafioso? NO
[Knobbly] Escapee? NO
Is a particular kind of fish named on the card?
[CdM] Particular fish? NO
Something's fishy here
[irach] Not sure if that's a question, but NO, that's not the phrase on the card.
"A Fish called Wanda"?
Always a bigger fish?
Many more fish in the sea?
A fish out of water?
Who knew there was so much to say about fish?
[irach] Cleese and Curtis? NO
[FGZstarfish] Bigger fish? NO
[Knobbly] A Fish in Sea? NO
[GL] Landed and Gasping? NO
A big fish in small pond?
Does the word 'fish' appear on the card?
[FGZstar] Parish Council Chair? NO
[Dujon] Does the word "fish" appear on the card? I thought you'd never ask... YES.
Fish face?
Begins with P(iscine)?
Fish for compliments?
Now , what fish is it that doesn't drink like a fish, I wonder.
[Software] Fish face? How dare you? Oh, I mean, NO.
[CdM] Pfish? NO
[INJ] Am I answering these questions OK, cos I do worry? (NO)
*the audience applaud INJ's other remark*
Kettle of fish?
Is there a culinary connection?
[irach] Kettle? NO
[INJ] Food? NO, not really.
Shooting fish in a barrel?
[irach] Barrel? NO, but I imagine we'll be scraping the bottom soon...
A Flying fish?
Does the referenced fish have to be dead?
[FGZstar] Flying fish? NO
[INJ] Dead fish? I think most people on hearing this expression would assume a dead fish, so YES. *applause*
(Strictly, its live/dead status isn't actually referenced, so it doesn't have to be)
A slap around the face with a wet fish?
Even better!
[Software] The Answer is, indeed, A slap in the face with a wet fish. Please accept this wet fish as your reward.
D*mn You, Software, you bounder!
I've just logged on with the intention of guessing that exact phrase.
[INJ] Yes, but it could be worse.
What a surprise, such a slippery baton!

Right, this one is Abstract with Animal, Vegetable and Mineral connections.

The anarcho-syndicalist world view?
Making a welcome(?) return.
The Internet?
This game?
Life, the universe, and everything?
The price of food?
[INJ] Back to barter? - NO welcome back BTW
[irach] www? - NO
[Projoy] Infinite loop? - NO
[Raak] Quo vadis? - NO
[Rosie] RPI? - NO
A Human Concept?
[FGZ] Conceptualized? - YES
Cuisine?
Is the Animal reference purely to humans?
Artistic connections?
[irach] Celebrity chefs - NO
[Rosie] Homo Sapiens - YES (almost entirely)
[INJ] Arty-Farty - YES
Related to music?
A straightforward question that requires a Yes or No answer?
[irach] Musical? - No not directly
[Spangle] Michael Miles? - NO
An artistic style, whatever the form of art?
Related to a performance art?
Funny?
[Rosie] Impressionist? - NO
[INJ] Acting? - NO though some say that could be the case
[Pro] Humour? - NO
The mona lisa?
Is this an organisation?
[FGZ] Enigmatic? - NO
[Rosie] Corp? - NO
A title of an artistic work?
[irach] Famous name? - NO
a piece of architecture?
[FGZ] bricks & mortar? - NO
To do with literature?
CGFC?
[Pro] Property boom?- NO
[Spangle] CGFC? - NO probably
[Pro] Sorry wrong answer
literate? - mostly NO
Is the vegetable connection floral?
WTF's CGFC cos im FIIK.
Related to painting?
[irach] petal based? - YES * a good portion of the audience claps *
[Pro] Decoration? (As this question was answered previously I assume you refer to the industrial kind) - NO
[Rosie] me too, in the absence of knowledge the safest answer is always NO
Ikebana or other type of Flower Arrangement?
CGFC
[Rosie] I made it up because I wanted to find a question that wouldn't be changed when SW was giving an answer. The changes are sometimes inaccurate and misleading. They cause a double look-back to ascertain the response to a reasonable question. I really give up. I actually HATE the way that this game is played.
Therefore - I am not going to play it any more. :)
A bridal bouquet?
The Guernsey Battle of Flowers?
(Softers) Yes, I know it's The Donkeys, but it's all I can think of ATM. I like Guernsey, BTW.
(Spangle) Yes, can be a bit annoying, especially if the meaning of the question appears to have been changed. I think one should always assume that it has not, and that the quizmaster is merely indulging himself a little.
The Chelsea flower show?
[Spangle] Sorry, old mate, just doing as Rosie says.
[FGZ] Blushing bridal flowers? - NO audience claps and talks among themselves enthusiastically
[Rosie] Donkey Derby? - NO [Rosie, how could you?]
[Duj] Annual display? - NO
Are the petals confetti?
A buttonhole?
(Could you answer my last question? You seem to have missed answering it)
[Knobby] Confetti - NO not on the card but the audience applauds appreciatively.
[FGZ] Carnation? - NO more loud applause
[irach] Floral display? - NO audience murmurs appreciatively
Horticulture?
[irach] Farmer Giles? - NO
Boutonnière or corsage?
[irach] Formal floral decoration? - NO (see above, not what is on the card) audience claps again
a fleur-de-lis?
Wedding arbour?
A wedding?
[FGZ] FdL? - NO
[irach] Underneath the arches? - NO audience claps hard
[FGZ] Nuptials? - YES! audience wild with anticipation
The royal wedding between Prince William and Catherine Middleton?
Hurrah!
[FGZ] Well done mate, exactly the words on the card!

* passes over the bouquet shaped baton *

Funny that, I had that about 3 turns ago, and dismissed it as too obvious. Anyway, my turn, ABSTRACT, with strong ANIMAL connections, as well as VEGETABLE and MINERAL connections.
A sport?
Animal human?
Sport? No, but will have minor sporting connections
Human? Yes, but will have minor connections to other animals.
A recipe ?
Recipe? No
Butchery?
Butchery? A definite no.
A single specific human?
Specific Human? No
Quadruped ?
Quadruped? As I have said before, the main focus is human, but non-specific. There are minor links to other animals which are quadruped, but it probably won't help with the answer to go into detail on them.
Falls within the remit of the 'fashion' industry?
Fashion? Nope.
Is it an activity?
Connected to the arts?
Activity? No.
Artistic Connections? Yes, but only minor ones.
A phrase or saying?
Phrase or Saying? No
Sporty?
As before, not particularly sporty, but with sporting connections
Is it something everyone does?
Is it an award of some sort?
Related to food or the culinary arts?
Something everyone does? No
An award? No
Food related? Yes, but not in the fine dining sense, and not exclusively involved in food.
Something done with or to meat and/or vegetables?
A licence to do something?
Done to meats or Veg? No (the food connection is not that strong)
Licence to...? No.
A type of behaviour?
Type of behaviour? No
Related to science?
Science Related? No.
Does the answer relate to a 'medical' condition?
Related to a severe medical condition? Not completely, but I'm sure there is some small relation
Related to games?
Related to games? No.
A ritual?
A ritual? No
A dictionary?
A dictionary? No.
Is it an activity?
Does this have a small relation to everything?
Activity? No, but it has activities
Small relationship to everything? Not quite, but is related to a lot of things.
Is this a human creation?
Human Creation? Yes
One particular country/nation
One Country/Nation? No.
So to summarise...
  • Not: a sport, a recipe, butchery, a specific human, a quadruped, fashion, an activity, a phrase or saying, something everyone does, an award, something done with meat/veg, a licence, a type of behaviour, science-related, games, a ritual, a dictionary, an activity (but it has them), a country.
  • Connections to: humans, food.
  • Minor connections to: non-human animals, the arts, sports, severe medical conditions, a lot of things.
  • Is: a human creation.
We haven't got very far, have we?
Related to a belief system?
Always the problem with Abstract - You need to get a category or a link to something physical before you can begin to make proper progress. I generally try to avoid setting Abstracts for those reasons.
Related to a belief system? This is NOT linked to a belief system in any way.
Time for a hint, methinks...
This is multinational, and part of a major convention.
To do with climate change?
Carbon trading?
Global warming? No
Carbon Trading? No
To do with military matters?
An international banking connection?
Military? Not connected to the military, but may become involved in military matters.
International Banking? No
To do with medicine?
Medicine? Has something to do with medicine, but not solely with medicine.
Is the answer based on a televison/film series?
TV/Film? No
Anything to do with the law?
To do with the Law? Sort of. it is specifically protected by it.
A human right or rights?
Human right? No, but it does help to protect them.
Does this have a specific United Nations connection?
Specific UN connection? Not really, but I'm sure there will be some connections... It's sort of a grey area. Sorry I can't be more helpful on that one.
OK then ... does this have a specific connection to some other international organisation (e.g., World Bank, World Trade Organisation, World Health Organisation, International Monetary Fund, etc....)?
Connected to a big international organisation? YES
*Audience Awakens*
Does it have to do with the law?
Oops, was just asked.
Does it have to do with humanitarian action?
Humanitarian? Yes.
*Audience look expectant*
The Red Cross?
Red Cross? Yes
*Audience Screams and goes wild*
It was indeed the Red Cross. I therefore hand you over a red, cross-shaped baton.
Phew. Ok, here's a concrete ANIMAL and VEGETABLE. Oh, and ABSTRACT as well.
A statue of a gorilla eating a banana?
Human animal?
[Projoy] Like this?
[FGZ*] Odd that it took us so long to get something eminently guessable. As INJ said, abstracts can just be very hard to get a handle on. As a minor quibble, if it was "NOT linked to a belief system in any way", we probably wouldn't also have the Red Crescent.
Can it be found in Milton Keynes?
Can anything be found in Milton Keynes? Sorry to be so flippant.
[Projoy] Oooh, close, but...no, nothing like.
[Rosie] Surely, if one waits in Milton Keynes, all the world shall eventually pass by one's front door. Yes! This can be found in Milton Keynes!
[CdM] Not a human animal.
Should the word "concrete" be taken literally?
(Raak) Is MK the new Crewe Station?
No, concrete would be MINERAL.
Musical?
[CdM] I suppose, but as a symbol it is not related to any religion, although there was some speculation by other religions which caused the red crescent and red crystal to come into existence.
[FGZ*] Not musical.
Begins with a P?
[Rosie] ...what do they say about Crewe Station?
[Tuj] Does not begin with a P.
Connected with agriculture?
[Tuj] Dunno. Perhaps they pronounce its name as if it began with a P.
[jim] Agro? Not really.
Connected to Architecture?
Is it man-made?
(Tuj) It is said that if you stand on Crewe Station you will see, either on the platform or through the window of a train, and within a reasonable length of time, the entire population of Britain, not to say the whole world.
[F] No connection to architecture.
[R] Is man-made.
Is it unique?
[Rosie] Thanks! Would've been nice to know when I went there every few weeks a few years ago... but at least that proves I could have been seen there, I guess
[Tuj] Not unique.
Vegetable wood?
[Rosie] Not wood.
Edible?
[CdM} Yes, edible.
Commonly eaten?
[CdM] Commonly eaten.
Eaten raw?
[Software] Not eaten raw.
A confectionary item of some sort?
[jim] I don't think this is classed as confectionary. Or confectionery.
Does it taste sweet?
[CdM re: gorilla] "the recipient will simply love it to pieces." Are they using "love" as a euphemism for "smash"?
A dish?
(I mean as in 'Fish and Chips', not as in a nice piece of Samian Ware)
[Projoy] * a ripple of polite applause* It is sweet.
[INJ] Not a dish.
Honey?
A raspberry ripple of polite applause?
[jim] Not honey (being neither cooked, nor -- apart from the occasional stray bee leg -- animal).
[CdM] Not a raspberry ripple.
Is suet involved?
[INJ] As near as I can judge from Google, this does not generally contain suet.
Jelly on a plate?
[FGZ*] Not jelly on a plate.
Can it be bought in a supermarket as a single item?
[Rosie] That sounds like two questions. Can it be bought in a supermarket? Yes. Does one buy them individually there? No.
Sold ready to eat?
[FGZ*] Ready to eat.
Rice pudding?
[FGZ*] Not rice pudding.
Generally found in the chiller cabinet?
[INJ] Brrrr? No.
Marshmallows?
[Software] Not marshmallows. (I'd class those with confectionery.)
Sweet and sour pork?
(Raak) Wasn't meant to be two questions but whether you could buy a packet of "it" in a supermarket, or anywhere.
Typically sold in a bottle, jar or can?
[Rosie] You can buy a packet of it.
[CdM] ...but not a bottle, jar, or can.
It might be profitable at this point to consider the Abstract part of this.
[Rosie] That was slightly misleading -- you can buy a packet of them.
Involves chocolate in any way? Such as a packet of "Smarties" or "M&Ms" ?
[irach] It can involve chocolate.
A cookie?
Crunchy frog?
[Rosie] Only if it's a crunchy frog cookie, as...
[CdM] ...a cookie it is. nom nom nom.
[Raak] Um, where's the baton? There seems to be just a pile of crumbs here.

This one is MINERAL and VEGETABLE.
Vegetable wood?
Wood? In part, yes.
mineral = metal?
A building?
A garden?
Metal? No.
A building? No.
A garden? No.
Significant amounts of water?
Significant amounts of water? It is going to come down a bit to the definition of "significant", but I think the best answer is No. Despite this, the audience *applauds*.
mineral = stone?
A natural feature?
A desert?
Stone? In large part, Yes
Natural feature? Yes.
Desert? No.
The Grand Canyon?
Grand Canyon? No. (Besides, someone already did that, iirc)
Near the sea?
Near the sea? Yes. *applause*
In Europe?
European? No.
Do rock climbers climb it?
A headland?
The hole in the rock, near Paihia, New Zealand?
Climbing? Yes (parts of it).
Headland? No. *tiny smattering of applause*
Incredibly long-shot guess? No.
A mountain, possibly Everest?
In the Americas?
Is it an island?
Mountain? No.
In the Americas? No.
Island? Yes. *applause*
Rockall?
Long shot.
Rockall? No. (That's in Europe, last I heard)
In Australasia?
Inhabited?
Hawaii?
Java?
Australasian? No.
Inhabited? Yes.
Hawai'i? No.
Java? No.
Has it been in the news recently?
Volcanic?
Bigger than an Arran?
Tristan de Cuhna?
Newsworthy? Not that I am aware of.
Volcanic? No.
Arranometricity? Smaller than an Arran.
Tristan de Cunha? No.
Tropical?
Fernando Po
?
Tropical? Yes.
Fernando Po
? No
.
Isolated, i.e. not part of an archipelago?
Isolated? No.
A British Overseas Territory?
BOT? No.
In the Indian Ocean?
Bikini Atoll?
In the Indian Ocean? As so often happens, seemingly easy questions end up being harder than I expect. But, based on my reading of Wikipedia, the best answer is Yes. Not to be cryptic about it, it is in a body of water with a separate name, but which is usually considered to be part of the Indian Ocean.
Bikini? No.
Bay of Bengal?
Bay of Bengal? No.
Is it an independent country?
South China Sea?
Al Hallaniyah?
One of the Maldives?
Independent country? No.
South China Sea? No. (That's part of the Pacific.)
Al Hallaniyah? No.
One of the Maldives? No.
I'll just clarify one thing: this island is part of an archipelago by the standard definition, which is pretty broad -- that is, it is part of a group of islands. But focusing on well-known archipelagos is unlikely to be helpful. (My first reaction when I read Rosie's archipelago was that this island is not part of an archipelago, and it was only when I checked the definition of the word that I decided that it in fact is.)
In the Arabian Sea?
Réunion?
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