[Phil] Not used in sport.

(The only way in to this problem that I am seeing right now is the odd notion that this could include nails but not screws.)

[CdM] The nails (or other fasteners) hold it together.
[Chalky] Hm...part of its function requires handling it, part requires not handling it.

[CdM] No handle.
[Projoy] I don't know, but I think it's very likely to have been around since before 1900.

[Hi CdM - seems like we're posting at the same time. Have to confess, I'm fascinated by this particular puzzle, but have to go out in half an hour so will miss any activity this afternoon].

[CdM] They could be made of other things, but I've never come across them made of anything but wood.
[Chalky] Not a wooden arras.
[Phil] Yes, European.

C'mon Raak. Does this audience have a pulse? Or does it merely murmur at the question of carpenter v cabinet maker and then 15 hours later summon up the energy to demur at the notion that something 'could be put on top' of this thing? Hey, I know you're a cool dude an' all that, but please - can we have a bit of encouragement, or even a clue? :-)

Time for a precis I think:

It is or does:

made of wood
undistressed
possibly created by a cabinet maker or artist (audience murmurs)
complete in itself
turned wood
found in some homes
smaller than a telephone box
possibly long and thin but not essentially so
able to have put something on it
has a primary specific function
can be larger than a toaster
used in conjunction with various other objects
have moving parts
does have mineral fasteners to hold it together, but these are not screws or glues
require handling as part of its function (CARE - see also the 'not' section)
very likely to have been around prior to 1900 AD
possible that this could be made of material other than wood, but the Chairman has not seen such
European

It is not or does not:

edible
alive
specific (one-off) article
carving or sculpture (though audience reacts)
the Calvary cross
resemble its original form
an outdoor object
retain bark
carved (though might have a part to play in its creation)
specific to a country or culture
contain anything
ornamental or decorative
symbolic
used in a game
a toaster
a rolling pin
a wooden alarm clock
normally purchased in a department store (though one might)
found in a hardware store
a hatstand
something that most people would have, though the Chairman is blessed
a piece of furniture
a frame
a tool (despite it performing a function)
a kitchen utensil
a mug tree
a prothesis
wholly circular
a board
a musical instrument of any sort
used in sport
requires not handling it as part of its function (CARE - see also the 'is' section)
have a handle
a wooden arras

NOTE: Ruddy 'eck that's long. Please forgive me if I've missed something.
Raak, you might run your eye over it in case I've misinterpreted anything. Ta.

[Dujon] I think you left out a "not" -- this is something that most people would not have, although I do.

[Projoy] *cheering in the aisles* Yes, connected with art.

[Projoy] Not an easel.

(For Projoys sake, Im leaving it unclear if Im talking about one or multiple artists.)

[CdM] Not a palette.

I took a closer look at mine, and there are a few screws in it.

[Phil] *applause* You have precisely guessed the words on the card! It is indeed a wooden posable model thingy for artists to use to get human forms right!

---

[Raak] Is there an official name for a WPMTfAtUtgHFR?

The simplest description I've found is an artists' manikin.

Here goes another one: ANIMAL, VEGETABLE & MINERAL

A cornet player dressed up (in natural fibres) as a pink fairy?

[Raak] As the costume was polyester, your guess falls by the wayside, I'm afraid. Not a bad effort, but completely off the mark :-)
[Kim] Human? NO

[Rosie] Live animal? NO

[GIII] Edible? NO

[Kim] A natural occurrence? NO
[Rosie] Fur-esque? YES *Applause*

[Rosie] Confirmation that I was only referring to the animal element when answering your last question.
[Raak] Item of clothing? NO

[Raak] Bone involved? Not to my knowledge.

[Rosie] Contains leather? YES *Some applause*

[Kim] Can things be put into it? YES

[Rosie] Handbag? NO
[GIII] Wallet? NO
[nights] suitcase? NO
[Raak] Leather tankard? NO

[Rosie] Two questions for the price of one! A large object? YES Not normally moved? NO

[Raak] Piece of luggage? NO

[Chalky] Piece of furniture? NO
[INJ] Nellie's brollies? NO

[INJ] Used for transport? YES *Loud applause*
[Raak] clown shoes? NO

[Rosie] Part of a means of transport? NO

Forgive the simulpost, but that was what I was actually thinking of.

[Chalky] A motor car? YES *More loud applause*
[Raak] Saddle? NO, see above
[INJ] Carriage or song from Oklahoma!? NO, see above

[Chalky] Make & Model? Yes please :-) *more applause*
[Dujon] Moggie? NO

[INJ] Good grief. I had been planning (since before this round began) "Surrey with a Fringe on Top" as my next AVMA subject.

[INJ] In production? YES
[GIII] English/British? Hmmmm...British-built, but not owned (any more) *Audience gasps at how much information the usually-tight-lipped Phil is giving away*

What me? Nosey?

[GIII] Mini? NO
[Chalky] My car? NO *Laughter from the audience*

Yeah, yeah, I know that's two questions.

[Raak] single, specific car? NO, presuming you mean something like "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" or "John Major's Nova", otherwise see Chalky's penultimate question.
[INJ] Luxury/high performance? YES on both counts *a little more applause*

[GIII] Convertible? YES *a bit more applause*

[Red Wolf] Chevvy? NO, see Graham III's third last question.

[Phil] Graham III's last question was if it was a soft-top/convertible. Corvettes do have that option, they are luxury and high performance, at which they are only beaten out by the Dodge Viper (flames to come from that, I'm sure). Even then, a 'Vette is still preferred.

The issue comes in that I forgot the British point 3 questions ago. See new guess above.

[RW] DB9? Fraid not, even though a friend of mine has one...the lucky (rich) swine. Btw, if you look closely, you'll see that I said "third last question" :-)

[GIII] Bentley? NO

[GIII] Not a Roller either - not quite that de luxe

I admit, I missed that and can be blind at times. Forgive me, all. The logic behind the above question: [Phil] said that it wasn't the DB9, then that it wasn't a Bentley or a Rolls, but he never specifically said it wasn't an AM. So, it isn't as dumb a question as it might seem... I hope...

[RW} Nope, it's not any kind of Aston Martin.

I'm running out of marques. I am also struggling to find a niche for Lotus in the luxury class of vehicles.

[Dujon] Not a Lotus either. It's a very well known make of car, worldwide.

[Raak] Not a Bentley. Maybe my idea of luxury/high performance is not as high-spec as everyone else's, but the on-the-road price is about £70k

[GIII] BMW? NO
[Chalky] MG-Rover? NO
[INJ] Jaguar? YES, dagnammit, YES! *rapturous applause dies off rapidly as audience remembers that the model is required too*

Well I bet there's an 'X' in there somewhere

Just a cheeky pedant's guess ;-)

Although a more serious guess just to make sure all of the bases are covered ;-)

[INJ] Not that one
[GIII] Not that one either
[GIII take 2] YES, that one!

---

Gosh. That was exciting. well played GIIIIIIII

It was almost as exciting as a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Goodness me, well there's a turn-up for the books. Let's try something Abstract.

Come on, let's keep in time.

[Projoy] If by that you mean something dreamt up by a human being, then YES.
[Kim] Unionised chaos? NO

Well, if Kim is going to steal my lines, I'll just have to take TUJ's

[INJ] P? Ah, NO [Projoy] pre-1900? YES

[Raak] YES! *applause*.

[Kim] No
[Projoy] No

[Red Wolf 1] The USA didn't exist before 1700.
[Red Wolf 2] See above
[Red Wolf 3] NO.

[Rosie] Interesting, but NO.

[GIII] The Americas have been around for 100 million years or so, though.